Rekindled (8 page)

“Yeah, next time he calls you can ask him. He’s away on business right now, but he’ll call soon, right mom? I even heard him say once that mom’s not allowed to use the bathroom at his office after that one time she—”

“Okay, I think that’s enough of this talk at the dinner table. It’s not very appropriate.” I shoot Caleb a glare and he shrugs behind a smirk before reaching for another helping of food. “Jonah, eat your broccoli.”

“I don’t like broccoli. It tastes gross.”

“Yeah, I don’t like it either,” Caleb adds with a wicked smile.

Rolling my eyes, I push my son’s plate closer to him. “You know you can’t have dessert until you finish your veggies. Don’t you want to go get ice cream?”

I watch as Jonah’s eyebrows dip while he mulls this over, and I wonder how a six-year-old weighs this in his mind. How he determines if the cost is worth the benefit. Deciding to sweeten the deal, I go in for the kill. “How about, if you finish your vegetables, I’ll let you get a double scoop with a waffle cone.”

“Now that’s a good deal,” Caleb says taking a bite out of his food. “I’d take it if I were you, little man.”

“Fine.” He concedes with a pout, as he dutifully picks up a piece of broccoli, eyeing it warily before popping it in his mouth.

We finish dinner with no more talk of poop,
thank god
, and I send Jonah upstairs to grab a jacket, remembering how much the temperatures can drop in the evening. Caleb’s in the kitchen putting the dishes in the dishwasher and throwing out the takeout bags from our dinner, and I’m feeling stuffed, so I mosey over to the couch and plop down, propping my bare feet up on the coffee table. I pick up a magazine and begin to sift through it when there’s a knock at the door.

“You expecting company?” I shout in Caleb’s direction.

“No.” He yells back, from a distance.

Wondering who’s coming around unannounced at eight at night, I launch myself off the couch and head to the front door, peeking through the peephole. Shock bursts through me when I see Tate standing on the other side of the door. He’s wearing black basketball shorts and an oversized grey shirt that has the sleeves chopped off and is spotted from sweat. His skin glistens from beneath the single porch light and I watch the bulge in his throat move as he takes a long swig from his water bottle.

“Hi,” I say cautiously, as I open the front door just enough to let my face show through.

“Hi,” he says grabbing the bottom of his shirt and lifting it to wipe the sweat that’s beaded across his forehead.

Dear God, those abs….

I stare, mesmerized for a minute by the human washboard that’s standing in front of me until I hear him clear his throat and I shake my head, trying to get my libido to stop acting like a bitch in heat. Needing a distraction, I focus my attention on the small scar above his right eyebrow, wondering where he got it, and thinking about how little I know about him anymore. Is
Ghostbusters
still his favorite movie? Does he still bite the heads off of gummy bears so that he can swap them and make them two-toned? Does he still buy a pack of peanuts with his Coke so that he can drop them inside before taking a drink? Melancholy sweeps through me until I remember that our broken friendship wasn’t just one-sided. It takes two people to break a bond like ours.

“What are you doing here, Tate?” I quickly glance over my shoulder to make sure Caleb isn’t nearby.

He rubs the back of his neck with his hand and I find myself staring at the sleeve of tattoos on his arm, wondering what each picture means.

“I was out running, and saw your lights on from the beach.”

I open the door a little wider and step outside, closing it partially behind me. “Okay…”

He blows out a harsh breath. “Look, I don’t really know how else to say it except to just come right out with it.” When I don’t respond, he looks down at his shoes. “I don’t know why you came back here after seven years, but if it’s because you want another chance with me, it’s too late. I’m with Julia now.”

I’m pretty sure if I were a cartoon, this is the point where my eyes would bug out of my head and steam would be billowing from my ears. “You’re kidding right? You think that
you’re
the reason why I moved back? Jesus Tate, no wonder you have to do your nightly runs outside. Your ego must suck out all the oxygen in the air when you go into a building.”

His nostrils flare and he narrows his eyes on me. “I know how that must have sounded, but I just needed to make sure. I mean, you’ve never bothered to come back here, and suddenly you show up once I’m engaged?”

“Okay, well, you can get over yourself any day now. I didn’t come back here for you. I found out you were engaged the same way everyone else in this town did: when your dad announced it. As for the reason why I came back, it’s none of your fucking business.”

He takes a step toward me and I instinctively mirror it, feeling slightly trapped when my heels hit the step. “Good. I just wanted to make sure we were on the same page, because I’m happy with Julia, and the last thing I need is for you to barge back into my life and mess with my head.”

His words send a ripple of fury through me. Planting my hands against his chest, I shove him so he stumbles backward slightly, ignoring the look of surprise that flashes across his face. “First of all, I didn’t
barge
into anything. The fact that I ran into you downtown was purely a coincidence, one which if I could, I’d take back, seeing as how you were nothing but rude. Second of all, you’ll notice that I’m not the one showing up on
your
doorstep at night. You made it perfectly clear seven years ago that you didn’t want anything to do with me, and you know, when I came back here, I thought, hey, we’re both adults, we can do the mature thing and be cordial to each other, but NO! You couldn’t even do that!” My voice is getting eerily close to dog-whistle pitches, but I can no longer contain the word-vomit that’s spewing from my mouth. Apparently, seven years of pent-up frustration can do that to a woman. “I was nothing but polite to you and your fiancée when we were in that restaurant, and you were nothing but a gigantic jerk! So you know what? From now on how about we both agree that if we see one another, we just stay clear, okay? Because the last thing I need is another fucking asshole in my life.”

“FUCKING ASSHOLE!” A little voice calls out from behind me with a giggle and I whirl around, horrified to see Jonah standing a foot away with his little hands covering his mouth while he laughs. “Mommy said bad words!”

Closing my eyes, I grimace, wondering how much he heard, knowing I should have kept my temper under control. Kneeling down, I place my hands on his waist and gently tug him toward me so that we’re eye-level with each other. “Jonah, sweetie, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said those words, and I don’t want you to think they’re okay to use. And you are not to say those words, do you understand me?”

He nods and I take my hand and smooth out the thin hairs that are floating askew. I start to pivot to apologize to Tate so that Jonah can see it’s the right thing to do—you know, lead by example, but by the time I turn around he’s gone and there’s nothing but the sound of crickets.

I’m a fucking coward. I know I shouldn’t have taken off like that, but seeing her son felt like being sucker punched in the throat. I knew she’d gotten married, and I should have known she’d have a kid, considering she loved kids and wanted to be like the damn Brady Bunch clan, but somehow in my head, I never quite allowed myself to think about her having kids with another man. Not that I care. I
shouldn’t
care. And yet the whole four-mile run back to base, I can’t get the image out of my head.

By the time I step inside, I’m drenched in sweat, and more pissed off than when I started out tonight. Stomping down the halls, I grab some beef jerky from the kitchen and a bottle of water before heading to Matt’s room.

“Jesus, man, you look like shit,” Matt says when I stand in his doorway. “What the fuck happened to you?”

Stepping inside his room, I pull out the chair and straddle it, resting my arms on the back, thankful that the rest of the guys are out. “I made a mistake and stopped by Callie’s house.”

“Come on, man, what are you doing? You’re with Julia now, you can’t go and do—“

“Relax, it wasn’t like that. I went by her house to make sure I wasn’t the reason that she came back into town.”

“And are you?”

“She claims not, but she wouldn’t tell me what brought her here.”

“So now what?” He asks, as he lies on his bed with his hands crossed underneath his head, staring up at the ceiling.

“She has a kid. A little boy.”

His head snaps towards my direction. “Seriously? No shit?”

“Yeah, he’s cute as fuck and you should have heard him when he screamed asshole after he heard Callie say it.”

“I’m guessing that was directed toward you?”

“Maybe.”

“Figures. You’re a real charmer sometimes.” He deadpans.

“Fuck off.”

“See what I mean?” He grins at me and I throw my water bottle at him so it hits him in the stomach. “So what’d you do to piss her off?”

“Nothing.”

“Right. Because I’m sure she called you an asshole for no reason.”

“It’s not my fault she was offended that I thought she came back for me.” He laughs and I grit my teeth. “It’s not funny.”

He holds up his hands in surrender. “Okay, you’re right, I’m sorry. Look, man, and you need to be honest about this to make sure no one gets hurt from this, but do you still have feelings for Callie? And it’s okay if you do, I’m not here to judge you. I know how deep your feelings ran for Callie, and I know it can’t be easy to see her again after all this time…”

Matt is the only other person besides Callie who knows
everything.
He knows about how our last encounter destroyed me in a way that only a first love can. Matt and I met in the middle of our freshman year of high school, when his family moved into town from Montana. My dad invited their family over for dinner, and we found out we both loved video games and comic books, making us fast friends. He’s been a beacon of light for me during my darkest moments, and I know if it weren’t for him, I’d probably be dead right now.

After high school, he moved to South Carolina with me, and we both became firemen. After my dad’s stroke, it was Matt’s idea to apply to become smoke jumpers back here in McCall. There’s only a handful of people I like in this world, and even less that I trust, but Matt is someone I would leap off a bridge blindfolded for if he asked me to, knowing he’d never let me jump without a safety line. Everyone assumes guardian angels are ethereal beings, watching over us from some other plane of existence, but I don’t think that’s the only viable option, because Matt’s been watching over me since the day we met.

“No, I don’t still have feelings for Callie,” I say looking him straight in the eyes so he knows I’m serious, but from the way his lips purse together, I can tell he doesn’t believe me.

“Right. Well, maybe this will be a good thing, her being back in town and all.”

I blink trying to figure out what his angle is. I can’t think of a single reason why Callie being back in town is a good thing. “I’m going to pretend you didn’t say that. You know what she did to me, why the fuck would I ever be glad to see her?”

“Because, she was your first love and you’re obviously not over what happened. Don’t get me wrong, I’m happy that you’re with Julia. She’s nice and seems like she’s got a good head on her shoulders which I think is good for you, but maybe now that Callie’s back you can talk to her and at least get some closure.”