Authors: Heather Leigh
Chapter
3
3
I wake up early, still too dark out to be anywhere near dawn. I look over at Drew sleeping next to me, his beautiful face just inches from mine. He looks relaxed, but tired; his lips slightly parted and his leg thrown over my waist, keeping me from leaving even in his sleep.
I grin like an idiot, staring at him in the dark. I can’t believe he loves me, even after what I put him through. I’m still scared to death of the future, but I know I can’t live without him
, regardless of his job.
I untangle myself from Drew, careful not to wake him. He’s been through so much because of me
. I want to let him rest a little longer. I have a few more bombs to drop on him before the day is over.
I’m sitting on my couch, curled up with a hot cup of coffee, when Drew wanders in from the bedroom, running his hand over his unshaven face. He looks so adorable with his hair sticking up in the back, wearing just a t-shirt and his boxer briefs.
“Good morning gorgeous.” He leans over and kisses the top of my head. “Is there more coffee?”
“Yes, there’s a pot in the kitchen. I’ll get it for you.” I put my mug down and move to get up.
“No, sit. Relax Sydney. I’ll be right back.” He turns and heads for the kitchen, and I watch his fine backside as he goes.
Drew comes back into the living room a few minutes later, sipping his own steaming mug of my favorite coffee. Putting his cup
down on the table, he sits next to me and pulls my legs across his lap and his expression becomes serious.
“You scared me, Sydney. I didn’t know what happen
ed to you. I couldn’t get here. The damn flights kept getting fucked up.” He rakes his hands through his hair, making it even messier. “Then I find out I’m too late. That … well, you know, Kiera, told you.” He spits the last part out and clamps his jaw down. I can see the muscles in his cheek clenching from the pressure. “I came here with Leah. You wouldn’t answer your phone, they wouldn’t let us in. I thought … I thought …” Drew chokes on the words. “I don’t understand why, Sydney.”
I
put my hand on his unshaven cheek. “I know babe, I know. I’m so sorry. I want to tell you everything. I was going to tell you before the party, as a kind of birthday present. I guess we both have secrets. Great birthday, huh?”
He leans forward and puts his forehead against mine, holding my gaze. “I don’t give a shit about my birthday and it doesn’t matter what you tell me
, Sydney. I’ll still love you.”
And I know he will, he has that sincere, honest look on hi
s face that is so totally Drew.
“My childhood was … different.” I swallow nervously. This is the first time I’ve ever told this story; even the therapists I used to see already knew my family history. “My parents, they weren’t exactly normal.”
Drew stiffens and leans back so he can see me better, the muscles in his neck flexing from stress. “What did they do to you?” He looks scary, the protector in him surfacing.
“Drew, it’s not like that.” I pause and continue, inhaling deeply
to calm my fluttering heart. “My parents are Evangeline Allen and Reid Tannen. I’m Sydney Tannen.” I haven’t said that out loud in over a decade. I look at him, my hands shaking from nerves, and wait.
He sits there for a moment and I can
almost see each different emotion cross his face as he processes this information. “So you … your parents are Evangeline Allen and Reid Tannen, the actors,” he repeats, blinking rapidly to try and make sense of this.
“Yes. My mom took me away from California when I was twelve. My parents didn’t feel that I was … that I was … safe anymore. The photographers, the lies, the stalkers, the crazy people…” I can barely make the words come out.
“I remember,” he says after a moment, the pieces clicking into place. “The accident with your dad.
click
The photographer who caused it.
click
It was in the papers and on TV.
click
It was the summer before I started at Boston College…” He looks horrified as my life starts to make sense to him. His eyes widen in fear. “You were seriously hurt, Sydney.
click
Your dad was arrested.”
click
“Yes,” I whisper as I see his face become livid, then sad, then loving again.
All of the facts fall into place for him.
A range of feelings for me, anger at the people who ruined my life, sad for me for having to live this way, and love for me in
spite of it all. I reflexively rub the scar on my arm that serves as a reminder of that painful time. Drew notices and grasps my arm, pulling it closer so he can see the mark that haunts me. His eyes grow wide as he gets the answer as to what the jagged pink line represents.
Drew’s faci
al expression changes. Shock becomes anguish in the space of a heartbeat. “I understand. My world scares you. It destroyed you. I’m so selfish Sydney. I had no idea; you don’t need this in your life. You don’t need me.” He closes his eyes and shakes his head. Dropping my arm he moves my legs off of his lap and backs away.
Shit!
“No Drew, I do need you. Whatever your life is, it’s what I want as long as you’re there with me.” I grab his hands and try to pull him back to me. He opens his eyes and I can see the unshed tears behind the brilliant green. “That’s what I’ve been figuring out these past few days. I was at my mom’s in Belize. She helped me realize that I can’t keep hiding.”
“Can you really live like that Sydney?
The paparazzi? The fans? That’s all part of the Andrew Forrester package. It’s even worse now than it was back then, the internet and cell phone cameras and tabloid shows … it never stops. I mean shit, Sydney, there was even a blog the day after the party with a picture and an article that described how I argued with Kiera Radcliff and Adam Reynolds at Verve, fighting over an unknown female! One of the guests must have used their camera phone. If they find out who you are? It will go worldwide in about a half a second! I’m no good for you. I can’t protect you from that.” He tries to shake my hands off but I grip him tighter and climb onto his lap, clinging him.
“Drew, I lost a lot when I was a child. I lost
my home, my friends, my father…” Tears slide silently down my cheeks as I see my future in this man’s eyes. “I refuse to let our child lose those things too, simply because I’m too afraid to stand up and live my life.” I place my hands on either side of his beautiful, tired face, letting my words sink in.
“What?” he asks, his
question almost inaudible.
“Our child, Drew.
I’m pregnant.” He sits very still, the unmovable statue again, quietly processing the information.
“Child?
But you said the test was negative. Are you sure?” His voice is husky with emotion but the mask is back. The mask I now know is so easy for him because he’s an actor. The mask my mom used to slip on to hide her feelings. I can’t read him. Is he pissed? Happy? Confused? All of the above?
I’m
humiliated, prickly heat rushing to my cheeks. “I took the test a week too soon. I didn’t know there was a time frame in which it wouldn’t work.” I drop my gaze, ashamed at my stupidity. “I’ve been sick for a few weeks, I can’t eat much. I thought it was stress, but I realized that it all added up to one thing. Yes, I’m sure that I’m pregnant, Drew.” I look back up to see if I can figure him out yet.
The mask cracks
as he hugs me tight and crushes his mouth to mine. “I love you so much Sydney.” He laughs. “I guess I shouldn’t be this happy, but I am.” His beautiful smile is back, all straight white teeth and sexy dimple.
I grin back at him, “I’m happy too, Drew.
Scared shitless, but happy.” He brings his thumbs up and brushes away the remainder of my tears.
“We’re a
ctually going to do this?” He pushes my hair back from my face, skimming his hand down my back.
“Yes we are,” I tell him. “We’ll figure it out together. I have a doctor’s appointment tomorrow if you want to go.”
“Of course I want to go.” Drew raises an eyebrow and smirks, “Do they have a back entrance?”
Chapter
34
B
eing with ‘Andrew Forrester’ is already becoming a giant pain in the ass. I have a new appreciation for how hard this was for him to keep from me. I had to call to arrange a special after-hours appointment with my OB-GYN so he can go with me and not be seen in the waiting room by any of the other patients. The office staff isn’t allowed to say anything to anyone, but you can’t stop the other patients that are seeing the doctor from taking cell phone videos and posting them online.
I turn to Drew in the back seat of the
Town Car, on our way to the Upper East Side office of my doctor, just a block from Mount Sinai Hospital. “Drew, can I ask you something?”
“Of course, Sydney.”
He turns and I see that honest and open look that’s so totally Drew. I really love this guy.
“You’ll tell me the truth, right?” I’m smiling as I say it, so he only looks a little worried at what I’m going to ask.
“Yes, just ask me and I’ll tell you.” He lifts one eyebrow in curiosity.
“Ok, well, when we were in St. Bart’s, I accidentally overheard you on the phone. You were upset and yelling at someone. I could tell you were mad because I notice that your accent comes back when you get emotional and you were
all Boston.” I smile. “What was that?”
He looks embarrassed.
“Oh. I was making sure the crew on the boat didn’t say anything if they recognized me. I didn’t want any looks or weirdness that would freak you out.” He stares at me, trying to figure out my reaction. “You’re not mad are you?”
I laugh, “No, I’m not mad. It seems like so much trouble to go through just to date me though.”
“First, there’s nothing I wouldn’t have done to date you Sydney. Not knowing who I was when we met, that was a first for me, and I loved it. I could date like a real person, no preconceived notions about Andrew Forrester the public figure already in your head. I could just be Drew, a guy from Boston. I regretted letting you leave the gym that day without a way to contact you, so when you sat with me in the café and told me how repellant I was, I knew I had to get to know you.” We laugh together as we remember our conversation. “Then you were so upset by that magazine, by a celebrity, I wanted to find out why, but I also didn’t want you walking home alone after having been so shaken up.”
I thread my fingers through his on the seat between us, “You d
o get a little caveman sometimes.” I smile, letting him know it’s okay with me.
“I know, sometimes I go overboard a little. But I want to keep you from getting hur
t, Sydney. You make me that way. I’ve never felt so protective of anyone else outside of my family. It’s because I love you. I probably loved you from the moment you called me repellant.” He draws small circles on my hand and turns to face me. “And you think the sailboat thing was difficult? I had to hide so much stuff, and I hated having to do it Sydney. It made me feel so crappy, but I wanted you desperately. I didn’t want you to leave me without knowing the real me.”
“What else did you have to hide?”
Now I’m curious as to just how much effort he had to put into pursuing me.
“A lot,
” he breathes out heavily. “I had to hide all of my awards and photos at my house, all of my scripts that are usually lying around, my assistant, Jane, couldn’t be around when you were. I had given her a weekend off since I was between projects anyway. You and I couldn’t do any dates in public.”
He looks at me, smiling.
“I was so glad that you were as happy staying in as I am. The pilots on the private jet almost blew it for me, I had to have Philippe clear out Chad’s awards and photos out of the villa and lock them in the office, I couldn’t shop with you in St. Bart’s, I had to wear my hat everywhere even though I knew you hated it … it was exhausting.” He gives me a scorching look, “But totally worth it.” His lopsided smirk has a suggestive innuendo to it, and I have to press my thighs together to contain my reaction.
“Why go through all of that when you could have just dated someone you could be yourself around?” I look out the window at the rows of brake lights on West 96
th
St.
“Sydney, look at me.
” I turn my head to see him staring intently at me. He brings my hand up to his mouth and kisses the back of it gently. “I wanted to date you
because
I could be myself around you. Andrew Forrester isn’t real. You know this; your parents had to have done the same thing. Be one person for the public, and someone else in private.”
I remember how I used to differentiate between my mom Eva Allen and the actress Evangeline Allen, and I nod. “I can’t find anyone who doesn’t already know Andrew Forrester, and therefore, they think they know me.
You
know me. They don’t. They get the façade that I give them, and you get all of me.” I swallow loudly; he’s too good for me.
“When Bruce brought you
into my gym, bleeding and hurt…” Drew closes his eyes as if it were his pain he’s remembering. “I don’t know why but I felt this overwhelming urge to protect you. When you didn’t know who I was, I couldn’t believe it. You have no idea how rare that is for me.” He brushes his hand across my cheek, tucking a piece of hair behind my ear. “Then I let you leave without a way to find you, unless I wanted to stalk your building, which I considered doing.” He smirks at me. “Bruce had your address from dropping you off.” I smile back. “But then Bruce gave me the napkin that he took from you, it said Village Coffee Bar. You must go there a lot because you showed up the first day I went there to find you.”
It was no coincidence that Drew was in the café that day. He pursued me, actively. I can’t help the grin that spreads across my face.
“Your smile is so beautiful. I hate when I can’t put it there for you,” he whispers.
The car slows to a stop in front of the green awning at the entrance to a tall, brownstone medical office building. Drew lowers the glass partition and tells
Bruce to stay with the car and be back in about an hour. He gets out and extends a hand for me to follow him inside.
“What floor?” he asks as we go into the lobby
and over to the elevator bank.
“Tenth,” I reply as we wait for the el
evator to arrive.
“Excuse
me, are you Andrew Forrester?” A woman on her way out of the building has stopped in front of us and is getting that nervous ‘fan look’ on her face.
Oh shit.
Drew smiles
and speaks smoothly, “Yes. How are you?” The woman practically collapses to the floor she’s so excited. I realize that this is my first time out with Drew in public and I’m a freaking out.
He should have worn his hideous hat
. His voice sounds weird, stiff and rehearsed, with a smile that’s too big. His body posture even changes slightly as he becomes the public version of himself.
If he’s acting strange,
this woman doesn’t realize it. She’s bought the Andrew Forrester act hook, line, and sinker. She’s babbling on and on about how great Drew is.
Memories of my parents’ fans start creeping in and making me dizzy
with panic. The elevator pings and I almost jump out of my skin. Drew’s mask slips for a minute and he throws me a concerned look. I’m sure I look like crap, I can feel the anxiety flooding my body.
“I’m sorry,
we have to go, it’s nice to meet you.” He gives her his perfect movie star smile and steers me into the elevator with his hand on my lower back. I stab the 10 as fast as I can to get away from the hyperventilating woman.
“Syd, are you okay? You don’t look well.” He’s turned to face me in the small space.
“I’m fine, I’ll be okay. It’s just weird. I remember that with my parents. I just can’t reconcile you with this huge star that everyone knows. It’s bizarre, that’s all.” I try to calm my breathing and wipe my hands on my jeans so he won’t feel how sweaty they are.
The elevator stops and the doors open, saving me from an
uncomfortable situation. I hurry out and head toward my doctor’s suite, leaving Drew to catch up.
“There, see this tiny shaded area? That’s the baby.” Dr. Atiena Abasi is pointing at a blob on the small black and white ultrasound screen. Drew and I are squinting to see what the heck she’s referring to because there’s nothing there but a round black hole in a fuzzy gray field.
“The black hole?”
I ask, confused by image on the blurry screen.
“The black area is the gestational sac around the fetus; the baby is the very small spot on the edge of the sac.” Dr. Abasi types something and an arrow appears on the screen pointing at a small blob on the edge of the black hole. Then she types again and the word ‘baby’ appears above the arrow.
“Wow,” I say, still not getting what I’m looking at. Drew has moved even closer to the screen, studying the picture as the fuzz flutters.
He flinches back in surprise.
“It moved, is that normal?” he asks.
Dr. Abasi laughs, “Perfectly normal, it’s the baby’s heartbeat. I’d guess you’re about eight weeks pregnant with conception about
six weeks ago?” I nod. She pushes a button and a paper curls out of the machine. “Here, take this picture with you.” She rips off the paper and hands it to me. It’s a print out of the gray fuzz with the black hole and the arrow that says ‘baby’ on it.
“Thanks.
” I take the printout and choke up.
The doctor removes the ultrasound wand and pushes the machine away. “You can get dressed and we’ll talk in my office when you’re ready.” She smiles and leaves the room.
I sit up and hand the picture to Drew. He’s been acting strange since we’ve gotten here. I think the reality of this thing is sinking in and he’s losing his shit. Well, there’s nothing I can say right now that will help. He’ll have to do what I had to do and come to terms with this on his own. I hop down from the table and pull on my clothes.
We sit across a massive desk from
my doctor. I’ve been seeing her since I was first sexually active at age seventeen and I like her a lot. She’s pleasant and calming to talk to.
“So, I’ve calculated your due date to be October 1
st
, we can adjust that when the fetus is big enough to get more accurate measurements. But you seem pretty sure about the conception date, so it shouldn’t change.”
“I’m sure of the date.”
I look at Drew, he hasn’t moved or said a word. He’s going to need time to adjust.
“Then here are some prenatal vitamins, I’ll give you samples so you won’t have to be seen going into a pharmacy and picking them up. Gossip is easily started by coming out of any business
related to medicine, believe me.” She smiles. She’s polite enough to ignore Drew’s odd behavior.
“I’ll see you in a month, Sydney, just make an appointment with Jessie, she’
ll be at her desk as you leave. And don’t worry, she’s the only one left in the office besides me.”
“Thank you so much Dr. Abasi and I’m sorry for keeping you late
.”
“It’s no problem, you’re not
my first high profile pregnancy.” She looks at Drew. No reaction, again. She’s going to either think he’s the rudest person she’s ever met or she’s seen men go catatonic from fear before and she’ll recognize it. “Jessie will be sure to give you another evening appointment. Everyone here is very discreet so don’t worry. I’ll see you in a month. Sydney, good to see you again and Drew, it’s nice to meet you.”
She stands and extends her slender hand across the desk, I shake it gratefully
. “Thanks again doctor.”
Drew comes out of
his stupor and shakes her hand. “Thanks doctor. We appreciate your time.” He gestures for me to go first and follows me out of her office.
Jessie is a small, freckle-covered red head about the same age as me. She checked us in when we arrived and had a very hard time keeping her professional demeanor when she looked up and saw Drew. Her eyes were bulging out of her head and she could barely speak as she handed me some paperwork to fill out. Jessie doesn’t seem to have gotten over it yet, because her hands are shaking as she writes out my appointment card and places it on the counter.
Drew is leaning against the wall behind me, still quiet and removed, not even noticing Jessie’s excitement at just existing so close to him. I want to tell her to calm the hell down, but there’s no point. Besides, he’s so gorgeous she’d probably freak out even if he wasn’t ‘Andrew Forrester’.
I snatch up the card and grab Drew’s hand, towing him out of the office. “Hey,” I say when we get to the elevators. “Are you okay with all of this?”
Drew snaps out of it and notices me next to him. His distant expression becomes laser-focused on me. “I can’t believe that my child is actually inside you,” he whispers.
“Yes, it is.” It’s not much but it’s all I can think of to say.
His mouth twitches up at the corner. “I guess it just didn’t seem real until now. I’m so happy, thank you for giving this to me.” He pulls me into a crushing hug just as the elevator pings and the doors open.
He breaks the embrace and takes my hand, leading me into the elevator. Drew pushes G and turns back to me. “I thought you were in there freaking out
, you know, trying to find a way out of this situation.”