Remember Me (Men of Honor Series Book 1) (7 page)

“Tess? Tess, are you okay?” Mike came around the kitchen island and stood in front of her. He put his hands on her upper arms and made her look him in the eyes. “T. Are you okay?”

She blinked a few times and then shook her head. “Um, yeah. Sorry.”

Mike guided her to the barstool next to Emma’s. “I think you need to sit down for a minute.”

Emma got Tess a glass of water and placed it in front of her. She took a sip and then looked at her friends.

“What are you thinking, honey?” Emma rubbed her back, her eyes tender.

“This just doesn’t make any sense. I don’t know what to think. I know he’s Ben. I have no doubt in my mind. So why would he be carrying ID that says otherwise? ” She put her head in her hands and rubbed her eyes.

Mike patted her arm. “Hey, T. It’s okay. We’ll figure this out. Go down to the police station and see what they say. Maybe they have more information and just didn’t tell you over the phone.”

Tess nodded, but still couldn’t wrap her head around it all. Ben was back in her life, with amnesia of all things, and now this.

Mike put his arm around her just above Emma’s. They embraced her, and she felt bit of angst disappear.

“Why don’t we pray with you before you go,” he offered.

“That’s a good idea,” Emma agreed. They both bowed their heads.

Tess closed her eyes to join them. She could use all the prayer she could get.

***

Tess drove along the coastline toward the police station. After they’d showered and changed clothes, Ben wanted to leave right away. He sat next to her in the passenger seat, his right leg bouncing up and down like a little kid excited to go to an amusement park for the day. He rubbed his beard and looked out the window. She had the top down on the car, and his hair blew in the breeze. He normally wore it shorter, but she liked how the ends curled a bit the way it was now. Watching him, she couldn’t help but smile.

He caught her looking. “What? What’s so funny?”

“It’s not funny, really. I just noticed that you rub your beard when you’re focused or thinking about something.” Well, okay, she hadn’t
just
noticed. It was something he’d always done, but of course she couldn’t tell him that. Her smile faded. All the secrets made her tired.

“And you rub your bottom lip with your thumb when you’re thinking hard about something.”

“I do not!” Her smile returned.

“Yes you do. I noticed it the first time at the hospital when you were choosing a name for me.”

She laughed and admitted it. “Okay, it’s true.”

He went back to bouncing his leg and looking out the window. She drove with one hand on the wheel and the other propped up on the door, her hand over her forehead helping to keep her hair from flying in her face.

Her gut filled with dread as they got closer and closer to their destination. Mike’s prayer had helped, but as she pulled into a spot in front of the police station, a wave of nausea hit. What if being inside a police station caused him to remember? Would it even matter now? His ID said he was Jake, her heart said he was Ben. Tears threatened. She swallowed them and got out of the car.

***

Ben worried his heartbeat could be seen through his shirt. He wanted so badly to know the truth about his life. But what if the truth meant having to leave Tess and never see her again? He couldn’t bear the thought.

He took her hand as they climbed the steps of the police station. She didn’t pull back, but rather held tight, as if needing him as much as he needed her. His heart rate slowed, and his shoulders relaxed like they seemed to do every time she came near him. She wore a knee-length flowered dress that flowed in the breeze, with a short-waisted cardigan sweater. Her hair hung in a loose braid down her back and her white sandals showed off her bright pink toenails with flowers painted on them. He forced himself to look away from her so he could focus.

The small beach town police station was a diminutive building as well as a historical landmark. When they asked for Officer Petrie at the front entrance, they were guided to his desk and directed to sit. Ben looked around. Something about the place felt familiar, but he couldn’t pinpoint how. Tess eyed him cautiously, her hands folded in her lap. Within minutes, the tall cop greeted them both then took the chair behind his desk.

“Hello again, Miss Jansenn. Mr. Wilson.” He nodded towards Ben. Reaching into his desk drawer, he drew out a wallet and handed it over the desk. “There’s not just ID inside, there’s quite a bit of cash. Nothing else though, sorry.”

Ben stared at the wallet. Nothing special. It was dark brown leather, curved and worn in from time in his back pocket.

“I’m sorry I don’t have any more info for you.”

Ben pulled out the California driver’s license from inside. He looked at the picture of himself and the name Jake Wilson. Nothing registered in his memory. His eyes looked over the information on the card.

“What about the address?”

“We looked it up and had a San Diego officer go by to see if anyone was there, but there was no response.”

Ben looked at Tess, who had been silent the entire time. She clasped her hands in her lap, but he could still see her trembling. His instinct to protect her overwhelmed him. They needed to leave.

He stood and offered his hand across the desk to the officer. “Thank you for your time. I appreciate it.”

The man stood as well and shook Ben’s hand. “My pleasure. I only wish I could do more.”

Tess smiled and stood next to Ben. The officer nodded to her and she said a quiet, “Thank you.”

Once outside and back by her car, Ben knew what he had to do, but dreaded telling her.

“What is it?” she asked.

He took her hands in his and tried to not choke on the words. “I need to go to San Diego and check out this address. If this is my home, I need to know.”

Tears formed on the edge of her eyelashes. He pulled her to him and held her tight.

Ben didn’t have any clothes or things that were his, and he promised to get Mike’s brother’s shirt back when he could. Tess knew Mike couldn’t care less about the shirt and she told Ben as much. He still insisted.

She parked outside the train station but didn’t make a move to get out of the car. Her fingers gripped the steering wheel. She couldn’t go inside with him. Saying good-bye would be hard enough. But watching him ride away, out of her life once again – what if she never saw him again? Part of her wanted to tell him the truth. He wasn’t Jake. He was Ben. But then what? That didn’t guarantee him remembering. And knowing Ben, he wouldn’t rest until he had answers.

“Come with me.”

“What?” She stared at him. He sat forward in the passenger seat, still holding his wallet. Was he serious?

“Come with me.” He looked at her, his eyes full of promise and excitement.

The thought of going back to San Diego made her palms sweaty. The thought of doing so with Ben made her downright dizzy.

“I can’t, Ben… Jake.” She tripped over the names. It felt so wrong.

“Why not? Because of work?”

She actually had the next four days off, but wasn’t about to tell him that. “I just can’t.”

His shoulders sagged, a defeated look on his face. “I understand.” He reached for the door handle but then turned and looked at her.

“I’m gonna buy a cell phone when I can and I’ll call you.” He stared down at the wallet. “The money you gave me is on the nightstand in Mike’s guest room. I can’t thank you enough for that. I guess now I’ll be good though.” He smiled, but it didn’t reach his eyes. He took his hand off the door handle and gently cupped her chin, making her eyes meet his. “This isn’t good-bye, Tess. It’s just see you later. I promise I’ll see you again.”

He swept his lips over hers, a whisper of movement, touched his forehead to hers and got out of the car. He was out of sight and in the train station before she knew what happened.

Barely able to see through her tears, Tess drove home. She pulled into her garage and went inside the house. Kicking off her shoes, she fell onto the couch and cried herself to sleep.

***

A pounding noise. A voice floated through her ears, calling to her like someone shouting down a tunnel. Or maybe she was underwater. She rubbed her eyes, unable to grasp the sound or her surroundings. Then she heard Emma’s voice through the back glass door, and her knocking came in loud and clear now. Tess sat up and pushed herself up to stand. She slid the door open. Emma came in, looked her up and down, and said, “What happened?”

Tess looked down at her wrinkled dress and crumpled cardigan. “I know I don’t look super hot right now, but that’s no reason to be so harsh.” She shuffled past Emma to the kitchen and popped a K-cup into the coffee maker. She needed caffeine to deal with this conversation.

“Mike just got a call from Ben, who said he’s headed to San Diego.”

Tess stopped mid-grab for the creamer in the fridge. How did he get a phone so fast? Sheesh. Ben was scary resourceful. At least he used to be. Ugh. Her head hurt. Coherent thoughts swirled like birds above her, none of them agreeing to land. She poured creamer into a coffee mug, stuck it under the machine spout, and pushed the brew button. Emma’s glare bore into her back. She rubbed her neck and turned with a sigh.

“It seems as if you already know what’s going on.” She shrugged. “Ben went to San Diego.”

“Well, what happened at the police station?” Emma was now perched on a barstool across from where Tess leaned against the counter, waiting for her coffee to brew. Mike stepped through the back door Emma had slid open but failed to close. It didn’t matter. Most days Mike and Tess left their doors wide open for the ocean breeze.

Mike waved his phone at her and sat down on the barstool next to Emma. “Just got off a call with Ben. You okay?”

Tess looked at them. It was a bit like facing a firing squad.

“Yeah. We got his wallet back, he decided to go check out the address in San Diego, so I drove him to the train station. End of story.”

She turned around to grab her coffee mug, now filled with steamy hot goodness. Her favorite was iced coffee, but right now she was too lazy to even pour it over ice. She rubbed her eyes. She was tired of crying. Tired of hiding the truth from Ben. Just. So. Tired.

“Hey, T. It’s us. We aren’t trying to hound you or make you feel bad, we just want to know what happened. We’re here to help you.”

She faced them again and took a sip from her mug. “I know. I’m sorry. I don’t mean to be snippy. The last twenty-four hours have been a whirlwind.” Claiming the third barstool on the end of the kitchen island, she set her mug down and put her chin in her hand. Mike and Emma sat to her right, waiting patiently. She filled them in on getting the wallet back and Ben wanting to go to the address on his ID to see if he could remember anything. Her stomach churned at the thought of their good-bye. She ran a finger over her lips, the tingle from Ben’s kiss still fresh in her mind. Her eyes welled up again.

“Why didn’t you tell him the truth?” Emma’s face had softened since she first came in.

“Honestly, I’m not sure I even know what the truth is anymore. I have no doubt he’s my Ben. Well,
was
my Ben. But he said he was backpacking in Europe. Now he shows up with amnesia and his ID says Jake Wilson. I have no clue what to think. And I thought about telling him, but like Mike said, that might not spark his memory and might only confuse him more.”

“I’m not gonna lie. I’m super curious about this Jake Wilson scenario,” Mike said. “There might be a whole lot more to Ben leaving you than you ever realized.”

Tess took another sip of coffee. It was bad enough to think he just didn’t want to marry her. The idea of some other life made her sick to her stomach and her heart hurt.

“Ben said he’d call when he could. I guess for now, I just wait.”

***

Tess’s legs burned as she ran along the trail. Mike had dropped her off at the base of the hill where the running path began. He would pick her back up after he did some errands for Emma. She loved running through the trees, and appreciated living in a place where one moment she could be on the beach and ten minutes later, trekking through the woods.

Ben had called the night before when he arrived in San Diego. He promised to call again today. As much as she didn’t want to admit it, she missed him. She was actually disappointed she didn’t have to work for a few days. If she had, she’d have something to take her mind off of him. She went surfing but that only brought about visions of him. She tried to read one of her favorite romance novels, but found herself daydreaming about him and discovered she’d flipped through four pages and hadn’t read a word.

When Mike suggested a long run on the trail that morning, she didn’t hesitate. But even so, she found her mind continuously slipping back to Ben. So far, being in San Diego hadn’t caused him to remember anything. Her heart ached at the thought of him being somewhere all alone and not knowing anyone. Battling her own mind, she reprimanded herself for worrying about a grown man more than capable of taking care of himself. But maybe she should have gone with him, just in case.

Breathing hard and focusing so much on Ben, she didn’t hear footsteps until they were coming up right behind her. She saw a shadow on the trail and looked out of the corner of her eye, thinking another runner wanted to pass. She moved as far right as she could, slowing her pace just a bit to allow room. Based on the size of the shadow, it was a fairly large man. As she reached for the pepper spray she always carried in her pocket, two arms wrapped around her waist. A scream caught in her throat as she looked down at muscular biceps that trapped her arms to her sides and lifted her completely off the ground. Before she had time to even kick or react, he tossed her like a rag doll and kept running.

Her body tumbled down the hillside, picking up speed. As rocks and tree stumps beat into her sides and shoulders, she tried to grab onto anything that would help her stop. When her body rammed into the base of a tree, pain shot through her ribs and everything went black.