Remembrance (29 page)

When Brad got back from maneuvers that evening, he found his brother sitting nonchalantly in the kitchen, eating a sandwich. “Hi, kid. Where's Serena?”

“Out.”

“Where?”

“Having dinner with your daughter.” It took a moment for it to sink in, as the younger brother grinned.

“What the hell does that mean?” Brad felt his heart begin to race. And then suddenly he understood. “Did she … did …
today?”
He looked stunned.

“Yup.” His brother answered coolly. “She did. And you have a beautiful baby girl.”

“Have you seen Serena? How is she?” He was instantly flustered and even looked a little afraid.

“She's fine. And so is the baby.”

“Did it take very long?”

Teddy grinned. “Thirty-three minutes.”

“Ase
you kidding?” Brad looked shocked. “How the hell did you get her to the hospital in time?”

“I didn't.”

“What?”

Teddy laughed, and gave his brother a warm hug, but there was suddenly something more grown up about him, even Brad had noticed it when he came in. It was as though in a single afternoon there was something different about Teddy, as though in some subtle way he had changed. “Brad, I delivered the baby.”

“What? Are you crazy?” And then he grinned. “Crazy kid. For a minute I believed you. Big joke, very funny. Now tell me what happened.”

Teddy grew serious as he looked in his brother's eyes. “I mean it, Brad. I didn't have any choice. I found her on the floor of the baby's room, already in labor. The water had just broken, and she went right into labor at an incredible clip.” He sounded strangely official, and Brad's eyes almost fell out of his head. “She was having three-and three-and-a-half-minute contractions every thirty seconds, and by the time I came back from calling the doctor and the ambulance, she was starting to push. It was all over pretty quickly. And the doctor and the ambulance got here about ten minutes after the baby.”

“Oh, my God.” Brad let himself slowly down into a chair, and for an instant Teddy wondered if he was angry. Maybe it upset him that his own brother had delivered his wife's baby, but it wasn't that that Teddy saw in Brad's eyes as he looked at him. “Can you imagine what would have happened if I'd been alone with her? I'd have panicked.”

Teddy smiled and touched his arm. “I almost did for a while there. For a minute or two it was pretty scary, but I knew that I had to help her, Brad … there was no one else.” The brothers looked into each other's eyes for a long moment, and Brad put out his hand with tears in his eyes.

“Thank you, Teddy.” He wanted to tell him then that he loved him, but he didn't know how, and the tears were too thick in his throat.

Twenty minutes later he was standing beside Serena, and she looked almost exactly as she had that morning when he had left for San Leandro. She looked pretty and fresh, bright eyed and cheerful. The only difference was that the belly was gone. And no one would have suspected from her look of jubilation that only a few hours before she had been through so much pain. “How was it, baby? Was it really awful?”

“I don't know.” She looked faintly embarrassed to admit to him how much it had hurt her. “For a little while I thought I couldn't stand it… but Teddy … he was right there with me … and he was so good.… Brad”—her eyes filled with tears of joy and emotion—”I would have died without him.”

“Thank God he was there.”

The nurse put her in her wheelchair then so that they could go to see the baby, and Brad laughed at the tiny pink bundle with the screwed up-face and swollen eyes. “See, I told you! A girl!” They named her Vanessa Theodora. Vanessa was the name they had agreed on before, and Theodora for her uncle, the doctor.

And that night Brad called his mother to tell her. His voice was still vibrant with excitement when he placed the call, and it seemed to take forever for his mother to come on the line. He spoke to his father first, who offered his eldest son the appropriate congratulations. But there was no warmth in Margaret's voice when she spoke to him.

“It must have been a dreadful experience for Teddy.” Her voice hit Brad like a cold shower.

“Hardly, Mother. And I would think that if he's going to be a doctor he'd do well not to find that kind of experience ‘dreadful.’ ” But that wasn't the point and they both knew it. “He said it was the most beautiful thing he'd ever seen.” There was an awkward silence as Brad fought with his own sense of disappointment at his mother's reaction. He was too happy for her to spoil it for him, but she dampened his spirits nonetheless.

“And your wife is well?”

“She's wonderful.” A smile began to grow on his face again. Maybe there was hope after all. At least she had asked after Serena. “And the baby is beautiful. We'll send you pictures as soon as we have some.”

“I don't think that's necessary, Brad.” Necessary? What did she mean “necessary”? Christ. “I don't really think you understand how your father and I feel.”

“As a matter of fact, I don't. And don't bring Father into this. This is your war with Serena, not his.” But they both knew that Margaret ran the show, and where she led, her husband followed. “And I think it stinks. This is the happiest day of my life and you're trying to spoil it for us.”

“Not at all. And I find it very touching to hear you sounding so paternal. But that doesn't change the fact mat your marriage to Serena is a tragedy in your life, Bradford, whether you acknowledge that yet or not. And the addition of a child to further embellish an already disastrous union is not something I can celebrate with you. The whole affair is a tragic mistake, and so is that baby.”

“That child is no mistake, Mother.” He was seething. “And she is my daughter and your first grandchild. She's part of our family, not just my family, but yours, whether you accept that or not.”

There was a long silence. “I do not. And I never shall.”

He bid his mother good-night then and there were tears in his eyes when he hung up the phone, but it only made him love Serena and the baby more. His mother would have been furious if she had known that.

28

The years in San Francisco were happy ones for Brad and Serena. They lived in their own happy little world, in the pretty brick house overlooking the bay. Brad loved his work at the Presidio, and Serena was never bored with Vanessa. She was an enchanting golden-haired child who seemed to combine the best of both her parents. In truth she looked a great deal like Brad, but she had the easy laughter and grace of her mother.

Teddy came as often as he could. He called Vanessa his fairy princess and read her endless stories. He could never see them as often as he wanted to anymore, because his studies at Stanford were so demanding. It was only during holidays that he could really relax and spend some time with them. Whenever Teddy could get over, he took Vanessa to the zoo, and on special outings, and by the time she was three, she would stand at the door when she knew he was coming, and watch every passing car, until she saw him, and then she would scream with delight and shout. “He's coming! He's coming! It's Uncle Teddy!”

Other than her parents, he was the only family she really knew. She had only met her other uncle twice, when Pattie and Greg had come through San Francisco on their way to the Orient. Pattie had stared hungrily at the child, and several times been rude to Serena. Greg seemed not to see her at all, as he sat in his usual stupor between drinks. And Pattie had made a point of telling Serena how much their mother-in-law hated the baby without ever having seen her.

It was Pattie's idea to go to Japan for a vacation. Traveling had become her latest passion. But other than that, Serena and Brad had had no contact with the family back East. Ever since his mother's candid rejection of Vanessa, Brad had had minimal contact with his mother, and when his mother had once come to San Francisco to visit Teddy, she had refused to see Brad with Serena, and Brad had refused to see his mother without her, so she had stubbornly left town in the end without seeing Brad, or Serena, or Vanessa. Teddy had been heartbroken about the family rift and had begged her to change her mind, but she wouldn't. If anything, she was more determined than ever.

Whatever her grandparents' feelings were about her, it mattered not at all to Vanessa. She was a constantly happy, sunny child, with an even disposition and almost no ill temper. And she was so passionately loved by both her parents and her uncle that the absence of others to adore her never mattered.

It was shortly after her third birthday that Serena and Brad told her that she was going to have a little brother or sister, and she clapped her hands with delight and hurried upstairs to draw the new baby a picture. She made a picture of an elephant, which looked more like a dog, and Serena framed it and hung it in the nursery. This time the baby was due in August. And Teddy was already teasing her about it. He was graduating from medical school in June, and by then she would be seven months pregnant.

“And if you think I'm going to run off the stage at commencement and deliver a baby, lady, you're crazy. Besides, my rates have gone up since last time.” It was a family joke now that he had delivered her first baby, and she was only a little nervous that this time the baby might come quickly. The doctor had warned her that it could happen, and she had promised to stay close to home, and the phone, in the last two weeks of July and into the beginning of August.

Teddy was going back to New York in July after a brief trip around the West, and in August he was beginning his internship at Columbia Presbyterian in New York.

But the graduation itself was causing a great deal of excitement in the family. Everyone was coming out, his mother, and Greg and Pattie. His father had suffered a stroke and was too ill to be moved now, but everyone else would be there to see him get his diploma.

“Well, Doctor, excited?” Brad looked at his brother in his cap and gown the morning of the graduation and Teddy beamed. He was twenty-six now, and Brad was thirty-eight, but they both looked almost the same age. Brad still had a boyish quality about him, and Teddy had matured immensely at Stanford.

“You know, I just can't believe it. I'm actually—finally—going to be a doctor!”

“I knew that almost four years ago.” Together they smiled at each other in a few private moments during the tense family gathering at the ceremony. Margaret Fullerton had actually refused to acknowledge Serena at all, and Pattie was delighted. The only one unaware of the obvious hostility was Vanessa, and Teddy looked at her now with a familiar glow of pleasure.

“I love that kid so much.”

Brad smiled. “This time maybe she'll have a little brother.”

“You sure like to call the shots, don't you?” His brother teased and then Brad remembered something.

“Yeah. By the way, I'd like you to do me a favor.”

“Sure. What's up?” Teddy looked casually at his brother. It was rare that Brad asked him anything at all.

“I'm going overseas in a few days, just for a little advisory mission in Korea. I'd like you to keep an eye on the girls for me. You know, after last time I'm always afraid that if I leave for work and forget to call home she'll have the baby in twenty minutes on her way in with the groceries.”

“Nah, give her half an hour.” Teddy grinned for a minute, and then looked at his brother more seriously. “Will this mission be dangerous?” He had a sudden odd feeling about it. Brad was being unusually offhand, but he could see that his eyes were worried.

“I doubt it. We've had advisers over there for a little while. I just want to see how they're handling it. We're not really getting involved. We're just watching.” But watching what?

“For how long, Brad?” Teddy looked worried.

“I'll just be gone a few days.”

“I didn't mean that. I meant how long will we just be watching over there?”

“Awhile.” Brad sounded noncommittal, and then looked at his brother. “I have to be honest with you, Teddy. I think we're going to find ourselves in a war there. A damn strange one, I have to tell you, but that's what I think. I'm going to be reporting to the Pentagon on my findings.”

Teddy nodded. “Just take care, Brad.” The two brothers exchanged a long glance, and Brad patted his arm before going to tell Serena. “Not to worry, kid. Not to worry.”

But when he told his wife, he was startled at her reaction. Unlike her usual acceptance of whatever he did, this time she begged him not to go to Korea.

“But why? It's only for a few days, and the baby's not due for another two months.”

“I don't care!” She had shouted at first and then cried. “I just don't want you to go.”

“Don't be silly.” fie had brushed it off as pregnancy nerves but that night he heard her crying in the bathroom, and she begged him over and over again not to go and clung to him near hysterics. “I've never seen you like this, Serena.” He was actually worried. Maybe something else was wrong and she hadn't told him. But she insisted that wasn't the case.

“I've never felt like this. I can't explain it.”

“Then forget about it. Teddy'll be here, and I'll be back before you know it.” But Serena was panicked. She had a premonition that filled her with terror.