Renewed Faith (CSA Case Files 3 / Military Romance) (9 page)

“You think I want to throw him under the bus for the rapes and murders to get back at him for being my pimp?” Elle sat forward and slammed her mug on the coffee table. “You have some nerve to accuse me of being some spiteful bitch who doesn’t take responsibility for her own actions. I sold my body for sex because it was the only thing I was good at. As long as I brought in the money, Bee was fine. The man does have anger issues, although they were never directed at me. Rachel told me what happened and it doesn’t take a fucking genius to see that it makes Bee a likely suspect. You can—”

“Elle, it was just a question…not an accusation.” Kevin sat forward, resting his elbows on his knees after he picked up his coffee. Through it all, he never wavered in his scrutiny. “Again, you’re putting words into my mouth. I never accused you of anything, so don’t go and change my mind about you being spiteful. Understand?”

The way he said that last word had her stomach tightening in response and deflating whatever anger she might have felt. Elle sensed something that she refused to name as his tone dropped an octave. Kevin sounded like the Doms did when speaking with their subs. Secretly Elle wanted nothing more than to be one of those women whose Dominant took over his submissive’s pleasure. She’d always been the one performing, making sure she made her money’s worth. Sure, the johns told her what they wanted, but it was still her that was executing the acts. Pushing that loose thought aside and knowing that those kinds of considerations were nothing but trouble, Elle didn’t answer. She did what she was best at and changed the subject.

“Hash has a vested interest in Rachel.” Elle finally unfolded her legs out from underneath her and stood up, not bothering to look at him. She went into the kitchen and placed her cup into the sink with the other dishes she needed to wash. “They’ve been seeing each other for a couple of months. That’s why he was there at the crime scene.”

Elle wasn’t sure what he would say or if he would allow her to get away with avoiding, well, all of the things she’d sidestepped tonight. It wasn’t like she didn’t have his cell phone number, so why she felt the need to go looking for him tonight made absolute no sense to her. Maybe she needed to take some of the money that she’d saved by being frugal and go on a mini vacation. The moment she discarded that idea something else immediately took its place. Kevin never mentioned why it was so cool in her apartment. Was he just being polite?

“There will eventually come a time that you and I will be truthful to one another,” Kevin murmured, his low voice humming in her ear. Elle’s fingers tightened on the countertop to prevent herself from turning around into his body which now melded with hers. It was the first time that she’d been so close to a man since she’d left the life. “Right now, I’m going to give both of us some breathing room before I do something that I’ll regret.”

The heat of Kevin’s body vaporized the second he stepped back from her. Elle turned her head slightly to see that he was walking over to her small kitchenette table for two. It came from the same thrift shop as the coffee table. As was becoming her typical reaction, she wasn’t sure what to feel or say, so she remained silent while he shrugged into his jacket.

“You’re going to drive in this?” Elle closed her eyes at the foolish question. It wasn’t her right to be concerned for his safety and she hoped that he didn’t take that as an invitation to stay with her. She quickly thought of an escape. “Wouldn’t it be better for you to drive to Connor or Jax’s house? The roads have to be covered by now.”

Kevin’s left side of his mouth lifted up in a smile, but she didn’t return the gesture. Elle was well aware that he found humor in her attempt at correcting the mistake. Leaving him to the investigation was probably a sound idea and one she should have listened to. She wouldn’t make that mistake again.

“My truck has four wheel drive. The snow is no problem, plus I like my bed.” Kevin walked to the door and opened it, stopping to look at her once more. “You may not want to hear this, city girl, but this thing between us is not going away. We’ve ignored it for over a year. That might come easy to you, but for a man like me, it’s bringing me to the end of my rope. I don’t like it there, Elle, so something has to change now.”

Chapter Seven

E
lle managed to get through an entire week without seeing Kevin. It wasn’t like she had to go out of her way. The only time she’d left her apartment was when she’d volunteered her time at Reformation, talking to the girls who were still there and making sure that Rachel was still on the right path. She got her information on the investigation through Rachel, who’d contacted the police just as she said she would. Elle knew that Bee had been brought in for questioning, but not the outcome. It wasn’t as if she were going to call up Kevin to find out either, specifically after his parting words the last time they’d been together.

“Elle, why is the front door open?”

Jax appeared in the doorway of the storage closet with Emily, whose belly was the size of a basketball. His usual smile had now been replaced with a scowl while his wife was practically glowing with happiness. Elle felt a twinge of envy, but quickly pushed it aside. Her life had dramatically changed in the last year and she couldn’t be more content with her good fortune. She stood from where she was rearranging some of the boxes of liquor, non-alcoholic beverages, and additional inventory that had arrived not thirty minutes before their arrival.

“The delivery man just left,” Elle explained, wiping her palms down the front of her denim to get rid of the dirt. “I was just about to lock things up.”

“I don’t mean to be harsh here, but you can’t be too cautious.” Jax took a step back, leading Emily to one of the stools that were situated at the end of the bar. “We’re still in the crosshairs of an assassin and until he’s caught I don’t want to take any chances.”

“Jax, she knows that,” Emily said, taking his hand and holding it to her thigh. Elle didn’t press the issue on this threat that was mentioned every so often, but now that he reminded her, she wondered if Kevin’s life was at risk as well. “How are you doing, Elle?”

“Good.” Elle walked back behind the bar and reached for a glass. She poured Emily a glass of orange juice and set the tumbler in front of her. “Jax, I’ve been careful, I promise. I’m not getting careless. The deliveryman had just literally walked out the door.”

“I saw him.” Jax reached up and removed the skullcap he’d been wearing, leaving his blonde hair mussed up. Elle could see a few little stress lines around his eyes and she wondered if it was due to the fact someone was still out there with the intent to kill Emily or was it because his firstborn child was scheduled into this world within the next few weeks. “I know you’re not going to like this, but I think having either Connor or myself here for the deliveries might be a good idea. All it does is provide this predator with easy access into this part of our lives. We can’t be too careful.”

Elle didn’t have the heart to argue with him even though that was her gut instinct. She’d been taking care of herself for a long time and she didn’t need someone else to do that for her. The rational part of her brain knew that Jax needed to have his bases covered. Emily had become this core for him and Elle didn’t blame him in the least for doing his damnedest to keep her safe.

“Whatever you feel is best. I’ll make sure you have the delivery schedule.” Elle turned her attention to Emily, whose blue eyes sparkled with happiness. They’d been sweet and invited her to their wedding, although Elle had remained to herself as much as she could. She worked for Jax and Connor, but that didn’t mean she socialized with their women and friends outside of that circle. “Emily, how are you feeling? The date is getting close.”

“Other than having to pee every half hour, I’m doing good.” Emily took a sip of her juice and then set the glass back down onto the countertop. “Listen, we didn’t just stop by to visit. There’s something we want to run by you.”

Elle didn’t want to hurt her feelings by saying that she hadn’t thought their visit was anything but social, so she just nodded her head for either one of them to continue. Emily seemed to be the one who was uncomfortable as she shot her husband a look, whereas Jax’s signature smile started to appear. Her heart began to stutter at the trouble that implied.

“It’s no secret that you and Kevin have been dancing around whatever the hell is between you two.” Jax took a couple of steps behind Emily until he pulled out another barstool and made himself comfortable. He folded his arms on the countertop, holding his cap in between in large hands. His look became somber for a brief moment. “Kevin’s grandfather passed away this morning. He’s cleaning up his shit at the office before driving to Wisconsin in order to be with his family.”

Elle wasn’t sure how to react to the news, so she crossed her arms over her chest and waited to see what this had to do with her. She felt sympathy for what Kevin must be going through, but it wasn’t like she could do anything for him. The best thing for him was to be with his family and friends. She glanced at Emily to see that the woman was nibbling her lower lip and watching her closely. An uneasy feeling started to ascend her spine.

“Connor isn’t here.” Jax’s voice caught Elle’s attention and she turned her focus back on him. “He’s checking out a lead on this threat that’s been hanging over CSA and won’t be back into the country for another few days. In the meantime, I can’t leave Emily, as we’re too close to her due date. Lach is somewhere in the jungles of Africa, which leaves the rest of the team covering the cases that we do have.”

“I’m not sure I’m understanding what this has to do with me.” Elle mentally cringed, knowing how heartless she sounded. It wasn’t that she wouldn’t lend a hand when needed, but she had a feeling that Jax and Emily were going to ask more of her than she could give. “I have the club under control. It’s not like you need to be here. There have been numerous times that you and Connor were gone at the same time and I handled management just fine.”

“Elle, we’re not questioning your management skills,” Emily said softly, leaning forward and placing her elbows on the hard surface. “We’re worried about Kevin and we don’t think he should make the drive by himself. He was very, very close to his grandfather and this is hitting him hard. He’s made it no secret that he has feelings for you and we thought that maybe as a friend—just a friend—that you would go with him for support.”

Elle didn’t reply right away, mostly because she was speechless. She switched her gaze back and forth between them, trying to figure out if this was some sort of prank. Her breathing became rather stinted when it appeared that it wasn’t. They really thought it would be in Kevin’s best interest if she were to accompany Kevin to his family’s farm in Wisconsin and attend a family funeral. Jax and Emily were delusional.

“Whatever you think Kevin feels for me is nothing more than pity.” Elle busied herself by putting the cap back on the orange juice and storing it back into the mini fridge underneath the bar. “I owe him a lot for what he’s done for me, but that doesn’t give me a ticket to pry into his personal life. I wouldn’t even say that we’re friends so much as acquaintances. You know that. You’re his friends and he isn’t going to want me with him for something so private.”

“Is that how you see it? Pity?” Jax asked, his deep voice expressing disappointment. Elle refused to be kowtowed just because he saw things differently. She straightened and met his gaze straight on. Emily placed a hand on Jax’s arm, but he saw her stare for stare. “Kevin isn’t one for pity, Elle. The man almost lost his leg when an IUD went off beside him during his tour in Afghanistan. He came back to recover but instead of lying in his own bed of misfortune, he dug his way through four years of college to obtain his bachelor’s degree. He used it to help others in a program similar to the Wounded Warriors Project. He’s seen people learn to live without their limbs and he watched those men and women deal with PTSD. Never once did he look upon them as some kind of charity case or them needing his pity, so don’t think you’re any different.”

“Jax.” Emily’s voice cut through his lecture, but she shouldn’t have felt like Elle needed saved. She didn’t. This type of honesty was something that Elle could deal with and respond to in kind. “I don’t think—”