Authors: Hallie Miller
"Headed somewhere?" he asked as he made his way to her.
Lilly jumped at the sound of his voice. She could already sense a tone of anger or frustration in his question. "I was just... taking a walk," she lied.
"Do you normally take walks with such a large purse?" he asked accusingly when he stopped beside her.
Lilly glanced up to see his eyebrow raised and his lips settled into a firm line. She knew she only had two options at that moment: tell him the truth or try to invent her best lie. Either one probably wasn't going to fare well in the long run with the look on his face. She decided to try for the lie, hoping he was too busy to argue.
"You know, it's kind of like a survival kit. I've got my phone and," she paused, trying to think of anything else, "and other stuff, just in case."
Jake grabbed the bag from her, opening it, and pulling out the contents. "So what are the heels for? In case your sneakers get too uncomfortable?" Jake held the pair of heels she packed for interviewing with various jobs. Without another word, Jake shoved the heels back into the purse and grabbed Lilly by the arm, dragging her back toward the house. He threw open the screen door and pulled her inside towards the kitchen. He nearly slammed her purse onto the counter, gave her a hard smack on her behind and thrust her into the bar stool at the breakfast bar.
"Ow! What was that for?" Lilly screamed, rubbing what she could before he pushed her down on the stool.
"To get your attention," he said firmly. "What is going on? And don't you dare lie to me."
Lilly shrank back against his anger. She didn't even know what to say, so she just remained silent.
"Lilly, I'm not kidding," he began as his cell phone started to ring. He snatched it out of the belt holster. "What?" he snapped into the headset.
Lilly stared at the countertop, hoping the phone call was important enough to take his mind off of her current situation. Interrupted out of her thoughts, she heard him talking to the other person on the line,
"A cab? Where?"
Oh God, this is not going to be good
, she thought as she felt his eyes boring into her.
"No I'm sure I have a good idea who called for it. Will you apologize for me and give him some money for coming all the way out here?" Jake stared down at her, anger building underneath his skin. "Thanks, Jim. I'll pay you back this afternoon." Jake replaced the phone into the holster, placing a hand on each side of seat of her barstool. He really thought she was being more honest with him, but this made him realize he still couldn't fully trust her The amount of regret and anger filled his body until he didn't even know what he was going to say. He sighed.
Lilly's heart pounded as she waited for him to scream at her. She knew he was really upset when he became really quiet and just sighed. "Jake," she said, unable to look up at him, "I'm really sorry."
"Sorry for what, Lilly?" he asked with a sad tone in his voice. "For lying to me or for not thinking you could trust me enough to tell me the truth?"
Tears welled in her eyes. She didn't think it was possible to feel any more like a piece of crap. She felt the tears rolling down her cheeks as she watched him put his face in his hands. "I've got to get back to work," he said as he rubbed his eyes. He walked towards the back door. Lilly couldn't believe he wasn't going to yell at her or spank her or do anything. She knew she had really upset him. Guilt overcame her and she chased him out the back door.
"Jake! Wait!" she yelled, running up behind him as he approached his horse.
"Lilly I don't have time right now. Please just stay in the house. We'll talk about it later."
Lilly could feel the resignation in his voice. He had given up on her. She couldn't let him feel like he was the one who messed up the situation. Before she could spit anything out, he mounted the horse and rode toward the distant pasture. She trudged back up the house, feeling like she just wanted to crawl into a hole and wished she never tried to go behind his back.
Jake didn't come back for dinner that night. Sylvia could feel the tension when she asked Lilly what she did that day. Lilly just mumbled, "Made a mistake." Sylvia barely made out the words but decided not to push the issue too far. She leaned in towards Lilly's ear to give her a little advice. "Admitting you are wrong is the first step in losing some of that guilt."
Lilly lifted her head from where it rested across her arms on the dinner table. "You think?"
Sylvia nodded. She watched Lilly head upstairs to her room, hoping she took what she said to heart. She could feel the somberness in her body language and knew it had something to do with Jake not joining them for dinner.
---oOo---
Lilly paced back and forth in her room, waiting to hear any sign of Jake's arrival. At nine o'clock, she heard the screen door close and his office door close minutes later. She couldn't stand him being upset with her and she knew she had ruined his trust in her. All the trust she had gained with her weeks of opening up to him and telling him about her past was ruined. She knew there was only one thing that would make her feel better about the situation, but she hesitated once she reached the door to Jake's office. Slowly, she lifted her fist to the door and knocked.
"Come in."
Lilly opened the door and walked toward his desk. Jake glanced up to see who it was and then stared back at the desk. Lilly slowly approached the large mahogany desk until she reached the two chairs that sat directly in front of it. His office was navy with dark cherry furniture. The pictures on the walls were beautiful photos of the surrounding countryside. It was so masculine, but at the same time, so cozy. She knew what she had to do.
"Jake? Can I talk to you?"
Jake looked up to see tears in her eyes. His heart melted at the sight of her. She was wearing one of his t-shirts that hung to her mid-thigh. It made her look even smaller and more fragile. He couldn't bear the thought of making her cry.
"Of course, honey," he replied, turning his chair to stand and walk around to the other side of the desk where she was still standing fidgeting with the bottom of the large shirt. Before he could even make it around the desk, she lurched toward him, wrapping her arms around his waist. "Whoa, hey," he said, picking her up and holding her against him. He could hear her start to sob heavily and her tears dampened his shirt as he held her. He walked over to the leather couch against the wall and sat down, keeping her on his lap. "Sweetheart, what's wrong? Are you hurt?" he asked with concern as she continued to cry. He checked up and down her arms and legs to see if she was hurt anywhere. He couldn't understand why she was so incredibly upset.
"I'm so sorry," she cried, her words slurring.
"Shhhh. It's okay. What's got you so upset?" he asked, rubbing her back and kissing the top of her head.
"I-I don't want you to hate me," she sputtered, right before another wrenching sob broke.
Jake shook his head and pulled her back to face him. He lifted her chin when she continued to stare at his chest. "Look at me, honey. I could never hate you."
"But I'm horrible! I lied to you and disobeyed you and now you have no reason to trust me ever again!"
Jake tried to hold back a laugh at her dramatic statement. "I'm glad you are being honest with me."
Lilly looked back up at him. "Aren't you going to punish me?"
Jake chuckled. "Is that why you came down here?"
She nodded shyly and bit her lip before admitting her real intention. She took a deep breath and spoke as fast as she could, "I think you should spank me."
Shocked by her words, Jake pulled back and raised her chin to make her look at him again. "You
want
me to spank you?"
"Well, no. I mean, yes," she began, her words sounding dumber as she spoke. "I mean... I think I deserve it."
Silence filled the room as regret filled Lilly's head. She knew she shouldn't have said anything. It felt like hours before he said anything. He took another deep breath and started rubbing her back again. "Lilly, why don't you tell me why you lied and then we will talk about your punishment."
She knew she had to tell him the whole story. She couldn't bear to lose his trust again, if she still had it that was.
"I have a problem," she started, wiping the tears off of her cheeks. She tried to summon up the courage to tell him the rest.
"And?..." he prompted.
Lilly knew once she said it she would feel better. She formed the words in her head and spit them out as fast as she could, covering the most important details. "I have some credit card bills and the collectors are calling me and I don't have the money to pay them off, so I was going to go to town to get a job so I could start paying them," she paused for a second, "and I was scared to tell you."
Jake sighed with relief, thanking it wasn't that she wanted to leave him. "Why were you so scared to tell me?"
"Because I know you're always so perfect with the ranch bills and stuff and I didn't want to disappoint you," she said, her voice fading. She filled with relief when she didn't hear anything angry in his tone.
Jake stood up, setting her down in front of him. He took her hand and pulled her with him to sit behind the desk. Turning on the computer, he lifted her and set her to sit on his knee. "Well, let's go ahead and deal with this right now. Log into your credit card accounts," he ordered, keeping a hand on her lower back.
Lilly lifted her shaky fingers to the keyboard, wondering how he was going to fix this situation. It hit her right then that he had no idea what to expect when he saw the first page of her credit card report.
"Three thousand dollars?!" Lilly cowered and just nodded. "How many credit cards do you have?" he asked angrily.
She knew this was taking a turn for the worse, but decided not to make him any angrier with another lie. "Three," she mumbled, bracing for him to erupt in anger. When he didn't say anything, she stilled and glanced back at his face. His jaw was clenched tightly and his eyes were closed with his head leaning on the back of the chair.
"Okay, here's what we're gonna do. You are going to march upstairs and bring these cards down to me right now, but before that, you are going to write down the username and password for the other two accounts."
Not wanting to make him any angrier, she scribbled down the usernames and passwords and rushed up the stairs for her purse. She hastily grabbed the credit cards out of her wallet and raced back down the stairs. She slowed when she reached the office door, knowing she sealed her own fate. She slid in the office quietly while Jake was still staring at the computer screen and writing something down on a pad in front of him.
Jake looked up to see Lilly return to the office. She looked nervous, holding the cards in one hand, standing close to the door. He crooked a finger at her. "Come here," he said firmly.
Slowly, she started walking toward him. The closer she got, the more he noticed her hands migrating to cover her behind. He smiled to himself. It was incredibly cute and sweet how she was starting to submit to him. He knew she was scared but she was trying very hard to admit to her misbehavior. In that sense, she had come a long way in the past few weeks, and he knew he wouldn't need to punish her too harshly for her to get the message. When she reached his side of the desk, he grabbed her arm, pulling it from behind her. He pulled her closer until she was standing between his legs as he sat in the large leather desk chair.
He held out his hand. "Lilly, give me the cards." She placed them in his hand gently and looked down at the floor. "From now on, there will be no more credit cards. I paid off all of the balances," he began when Lilly opened her mouth to interrupt. He placed a finger over her lips to stop her and continued. "From the looks of it, it was a total of ten thousand, four hundred and sixty-seven dollars."
"You paid them all?!" she said in surprise, not realizing he made as much money as he did. "I will pay you back I promise!"
"Yes you will. You are going to start working around here. I could use some extra help with the books and with some daily chores. I'll consider it as a payment plan until all of the money is repaid."
"Ten thousand dollars! That's going to take months to pay off!"
"That's not a problem for me." He smiled at her. "I enjoy having you here. Maybe you might even want to stay once it's all settled."
Lilly smiled and leaned forward to hug him. She knew she cared about him but now he confirmed that he cared about her just as much. "Thank you."
After hugging her close, he pushed her back, his face once again serious. "Now then, I'm not quite finished. Since you have shown me that you cannot manage money or cards, you are not to get another credit card at all. I will give you a certain amount of spending money each week and that is it. Is that understood?"
Lilly balked at the idea. "You are going to give me an allowance? What am I, ten years old?"
"Until I can trust you again to be honest with me, you are on probation. You are not to leave this house without my permission. When you can show me that you can follow directions and do as you're told, you can start earning back your privileges." Jake looked into Lilly's disbelieving eyes.