Authors: Lee Savino
I knew that. Before I went to college, I’d given him a thank you card with my high school picture in it. He kept the picture on the shelf with framed photos of his whole family.
“If you’d only stolen from him once, and told him right away, he probably wouldn’t have fired you.”
“I really fucked up didn’t I?” Tears filled my eyes. “I’m such a screw up. Total waste of space.” My voice sounded defeated and pathetic, even to my ears. “I wish my mother had just gotten an abortion. Everyone would be better off.”
Cole moved so fast I didn’t see him until I was over his lap receiving the first hard swat. He kept spanking, harsher and harsher until I was wriggling and crying.
Just as quickly, it was over. Cole set me on my feet and fixed me with the sternest stare I’d yet to see. “Regina. If I ever hear you say that again, or talking down, you will think that spanking was a walk in the park. Understand?”
I bobbed my head up and down. Anything to avoid that punishing palm. My hand crept back to rub my bottom, and Cole caught it in his firm grip.
“Answer me.”
“I understand.”
“Good girl.” His tone softened, and he pulled me into his lap. I lay tucked against him on my side and he rubbed my bottom until I relaxed against him. I stayed very quiet. The spanking had undone me, but it had also stemmed the tide of self-disgust. No one had ever cared enough about me to stop me talking down on myself. Cole’s violent reaction both shocked and steadied me.
“Feeling better?”
“Yes. Sorry.”
“It’s okay, sweetheart.” Cole kissed my shoulder. “I told you I’d take care of you, and I will. But I won’t tolerate anyone saying bad things about you. Not even you.
“Thank you,” I said, and meant it.
He chucked me under the chin. “I’ve got to get back to work. I’m going to be pretty busy for a few days, but I’ll make sure you’re occupied. The minute I get a chance, we’re going to resolve the situation with Mr. Roberts, once and for all.”
“Okay,” I said, though I didn’t like the sound of that.
The days settled into a routine, with Cole working long hours, as he’d warned me. I wondered if he kept himself busy so he could keep his hands off me longer. It pleased me to think I was that much of a temptation. Of course, the more he stayed away, the more I wanted him. Whenever he worked from home, I made myself as loud and obnoxious as I could, which only earned me the gag. Often I found myself watching him, admiring the grace in his long fingers on the keyboard, the timber of his voice as he gave someone instructions.
“Regina,” he called one day, without looking up from his papers. “You’re doing it again.”
I blinked. “Sorry.”
“Keep it up and I’ll give you a new rule—no looking above crotch level.”
“That’s only going to make it worse.” I went back to my work, only to look up when a shadow fell over my hands.
Cole stood behind me, tracing the delicate strap of my skimpy outfit. His touch spread tingles through me.
I turned to face him. We were mere inches apart. “Cole?”
“Regina,” he said, and then he was all over me. Touching, kissing, claiming, his hands sliding up and down my body as I pressed myself into him and whimpered. When the kiss ended and we broke apart, both of us were breathless.
“Bedroom,” he ordered. “It’s time.”
Squee!
But when I got there, I saw a wooden rectangle on the bed, and realized what he meant. Cole stalked into the bedroom after me. I met his eyes, once, and saw darkness there. I didn’t look at his face again.
“Strip.”
Slowly, I removed the little white apron. “What’s going to happen?”
“I told you you’d get paddled for stealing. I think you need it.”
I let the maid outfit fall to the floor. “Will it hurt?”
“Yes.”
I stood to the side of the bed, arms wrapped around myself watching Cole remove his shirt and belt. His bare chest was a thing of beauty, a product of his daily run and five hundred pushups executed in crisp, military style.
He motioned for me to move to the foot of the bed. My breathing picked up as he picked up the paddle and examined it, before setting it down and picking up his belt. He doubled it over and tested it against his palm, snapping it. I jumped.
Cole crooked a finger at me to get me to come closer. Close to hyperventilating, I obeyed. The man couldn’t be more intimidating with an executioner’s hood.
His fingers curled around my hips, warm and reassuring. “It’ll hurt, but it’ll feel good.”
I let out a broken laugh. “How’s that?”
“After this punishment, it’s over. You’re forgiven. We never have to speak of it again.”
He waited for me to answer, but for once in my life, I couldn’t speak. I’d do anything for this man, but he never stopped pushing the boundaries of where I wanted to go.
After a minute of silence, he laid the belt on the bed. “Regina, look at me.”
I did, and he rewarded me by cradling my face in his hands. His hazel eyes, his aquiline nose, his handsome features blurred.
“We don’t have to do this,” he said.
“Yes, we do.” Somehow not going through with this discipline was worse. Not only did I deserve it, but worse, I’d let down Cole.
“Do you trust me?”
“Yes.”
“Then get into position.”
I put my hands on the bed, stuck my bottom out as the target.
Cole ran a finger down.
“Hand first, then belt, then paddle.”
His hand clamped on the back of my neck and I steeled myself.
The blow didn’t come. Instead, his long fingers danced between my legs, strumming my clit to a fever pitch. I gasped, and writhed, teetering on the edge of orgasm.
“Being turned on will make this less painful,” he said. “I told you, Regina, I’m going to take care of you.”
At his words, I relaxed completely. His left hand remained at my neck as his right squeezed my bottom. He didn’t have to hold me down, but his touch made me relax. I could struggle all I wanted; he wouldn’t let me get away.
Cole started spanking me. Light at first, then building at a steady crescendo. He paid particular attention to my sit spots, but even my thighs got a few swats. After a few minutes, the swats grew harder. I ground my chest into the bed, gritting my teeth. I didn’t cry out, though. The slow buildup meant I could take the pain.
My bottom stung and felt red hot to touch by the time Cole finished the hand spanking. I wasn’t anywhere near my limit. He stopped and palmed my bottom, squeezing and releasing. The rough massage worked the sting away.
“You okay?”
“Yes,” my reply came muffled by the bed.
I heard him moving behind me and braced myself. Up next was the belt.
The first lash sliced across my bottom and I reared up off the bed.
“Back in position.”
“I’m sorry,” I gasped.
“Do you want me to hold you down?” Without waiting for an answer, he put a hand between my shoulder blades and pushed me back down onto the bed.
The next blows with the belt made me jump, but I realized I could breathe through the pain. It burned and then faded.
“You’ll think twice before breaking the law again. You pull anything like that again, you’ll answer to me.”
I gasped as he laid a lash over a previous one. My hands flew back to protect my bottom, and he quickly captured them and held them in the small of my back. The next few lashes came down harder, and I realized how much he’d been holding back.
“Ow,” I cried. “I’m sorry.”
“You’re gonna be.” The belt caught my lower buttocks, blazing a trail across my sit spots.
I cursed.
“Do you need me to gag you? Swear again and I’ll get soap.”
“No.” Somehow I knew being unable to call out would make things worse. “Please. I’ll be good.”
“You better be. From now on, you get so much as a speeding ticket, you answer to me.” The belt came down again and again. “And if you find yourself in trouble, you ask for help. No more riding it out alone.”
I didn’t ask him to stop. The pain seared through me, cleansing fire. I cried out the tears I’d bottled up for years, ever since a phone call about my mother’s condition dragged me out of my sophomore year, back home. It wasn’t fair.
“What’s not fair?” Cole asked, and I realized I’d spoken out loud.
“My life! Everything!”
“Talk to me, Regina.” He dropped the belt on the bed, and massaged my bottom.
“I’d gotten out! I’d almost escaped this hell hole. I survived my childhood here. Wasn’t that enough?”
“That’s it, let it out.”
“I hate this place! I hate my life! I just want to leave.”
He sat and pulled me into his arms. “When you came back to take care of your mom, you didn’t ask for help. Why?”
“I didn’t think anyone would—”
“Your old boss gave you your job back without a second thought.”
“I didn’t want to ask for anything more than that. I didn’t deserve it.”
He tugged me closer. His hand rested at the back of my neck, holding me against him.
“You deserve it.”
He ended the hug and I almost cried out at the loss of his arms around my body.
“Almost done. Back into position.” His tone was incredibly gentle.
I moved, resting my head on one arm. I reached for his hand with the other. He took it.
I squeezed his fingers as he tapped the paddle against my bottom.
“This will hurt,” he warned.
The blow took the breath from my lungs. But then I was falling, floating softly into another place. I relaxed, gave in, and let Cole take over.
A few more sharp taps with the paddle, but the pain felt far, far away.
“One more.” It cracked down a final time, and felt as if Cole had hit me with all his might. I cried out.
It was over.
Tears leaked out of my eyes.
“Shh, Regina. Forever. You’re forgiven.” Cole rocked me in his arms until the storm passed, my big, gulping sobs quieted.
“Cole, I—” I started to say
I love you
. But that wasn’t what I meant. Whatever I felt went deeper than love.
I love you, I’ve always loved you, I’ll love you forever
, was more like it. But I couldn’t say that without knowing he was ready to hear it. He’d asked me to obey him, and I had. He’d said nothing about love. “Thank you.”
He lifted me and put me to bed. As soon as he lay down behind me, his arm wrapped around me and pulled my body flush to his.
I lay there quietly, filled with the floaty feeling. Eventually, though, I came down. Thoughts raced through my head in time to my throbbing bottom.
“Cole? What are we doing? Do you know?”
He seemed to understand what I was asking. “I’m claiming you.”
“Claiming me? Like what, I Tarzan you Jane sort of thing? Isn’t that sort of old fashioned?”
“I guess I’m old fashioned then.”
“I’ll say.”
“Regina.” His voice, like his touch, was firm and soothing at the same time. “Stop fighting this.”
“I have to fight,” I whispered. “If I don’t fight…I’ll give in completely.”
“That’s it, baby. That’s what I want.” He pulled me closer, into his arms. His lips found my ear. “Give in to me.”
“You don’t understand. I’m afraid I won’t be able to stop. Cole,” I pushed away from his chest to meet his eyes. “You’ve always been my weak spot.”
Excitement flared in his eyes. “Then let go and give us what we both want.”
“I’m scared.”
“Baby. You can trust me. You know that.”
I nodded, and let him hug me again. I’d never felt anything so good as Cole’s arms around me, his firm chest under my cheek.
“I’m going to take care of you,” he said. “You know I will.”
“I do. I just don’t know why you’d want to.”
“Because you’re mine.” His hands slid up and down my back, setting every nerve afire. “You were always mine.”
Cole’s phone rang, breaking the spell between us.
He groaned. “I have to take this.”
I rolled out of bed as soon as he left the room, and went to the mirror. My ass was as red as expected, but not bruised…yet. All in all, it wasn’t as bad as I thought.
You were always mine.
Cole’s words echoed through my head. Did they mean what I thought they did? Or was he just stating the obvious? Of course I belonged to him. But was he mine?
The answer to that question would either break me, or set me up for life. Either way, fear gripped me.
Miserable, I crawled back into bed. I was so in love with him I couldn’t breathe. It overwhelmed me. This whole week I’d done everything on his stupid list. I scrubbed the man’s toilet for godssake, and felt blissfully happy. If that wasn’t love, I don’t know what is.
Did he reciprocate? Was all this business of “claiming me” teasing? Just a game to him? He had everything handed to him on a platter. Worse, he didn’t take it for granted. He worked hard. He was the finest, most upstanding citizen of Licking Hole, maybe even the entire state.
And I belonged in jail.
Cole’s voice echoed down the hall and I settled back on my side of the bed.
It wouldn’t work. The sheriff and the screw up. The golden boy and the girl from the wrong side of the tracks.
Cole finished his call and returned to the bedroom. “Regina?”
I didn’t answer. I lay on my side with my eyes squeezed shut, pretending to sleep.
After a moment, he lay down and fell asleep beside me. I let my breath out then, a quiet whine against the hurt I felt in my chest. Lying next to a man, knowing he could never love me—the pain of the punishment had nothing on this.
***
I was quiet the morning he drove me to volunteer. No more protesting. I had to finish up my time with Cole, and get the hell out. He’d tire of me and let me go. I just had to be a good little Regina, and obey without complaint.
My silent vow lasted until Cole pulled up to a pretty brick building with sign reading “Maple Grove Senior Assisted Living.”
“No,” I said. “This is where you want me to volunteer? No way.”
“You promised.”
“I can’t.”
“Just try. For me. Just do as I say. Don’t think about anything else.”
Silently, I cussed him out.
A well-dressed woman with short, curly hair stood on the curb waiting for me.
“I’m Betty,” she said, shaking my hand. She looked about as old as my mother, and though she had a no-nonsense handshake, she wore a big smile. “I’m the activities director here at Maple Grove.”
Activities director?
She waved goodbye to Cole and turned to me, cocking her head. “Sheriff Townsend says you’re between jobs and volunteering until you find a new career?”
I shrugged. “Something like that.”
“We’ll go easy on you. You’re going to be helping me in the Orchard.”
“The Orchard?”
“What we call the wing of our facility that houses our dementia patients. Right this way.”
I took a moment to mentally murder Cole before I followed.
The door opened to the dreaded scene. But instead of the horror show I expected, I saw a pretty room with cream wallpaper. There were even a few potted plants. Residents in wheelchairs faced a TV, but some also sat at tables playing with a craft.
Everything seemed neat and clean, and while not all of the residents were smiling, it looked like they had a good life. Maybe even better than mom’s in the trailer.
I waited to reserve judgment until after Betty’s tour. She showed me everything, from the kitchen to the residents’ rooms. She ran the residents’ social calendar, and took fun seriously.
“Thursdays Jenny White comes from Licking Hole Fitness and leads the residents in aerobics. Well, she plays music and gets them to move as much as they can. It seems to be good for morale. And Friday we always have a party.”
“What about today?”
“I hoped you might have some ideas,” Betty said. “Why don’t you get out among the residents, see what they’d like?”
By lunchtime—served at 11 am—I mingled with the residents.
“You’re so pretty. Are you married?” a white-haired lady asked.
“Uh, no.”
“But you’re so pretty!”
I saw Betty wave me over, pointing excitedly to a box of supplies. “Uh, thank you. I think I have to go—”
“Of course. Go cook dinner for your husband.”
“Oh, no, I’m not married.”
“But you’re so pretty!”
And so on.
My big breakthrough came when one of the ladies, a Mrs. Jameson, challenged me to a game of canasta. I organized a group of six, but I didn’t know the rules, and she didn’t remember them. In the end, we made them up.
“Hearts!” one gentleman shouted, and we all laid down our cards, groaning.
Betty walked by, nodding approval. On my suggestion, she’d gotten another group of octogenarian residents around the table, coloring like kindergarteners.
By the end of the day, I had a list of ideas for her, including casino night and more senior aerobics. Several gentlemen requested the return of Jenny White the fitness lady. She was good for their moral. Or, at least, her tight, spandex clad ass was.
I didn’t realize how many hours had passed until Mrs. Jameson started clapping in excitement. Cole stood in the doorway, casual in jeans and a t-shirt. My heart skipped a beat.
“What a handsome man! Is that your husband?”
“No, ma’am. But he is my ride.”
She nodded knowingly. “You better go home and cook him dinner. You don’t want that one to get away.”
“Did you have a good day?” Cole asked as I ran up to him. I nodded and blushed as one of the residents shouted, “kiss him!” and let out a wolf whistle. I grabbed his hand and pulled him outside before Cole got any ideas. A visit from the local sheriff was another idea for Betty’s Calendar of Fun. Cole would be a big hit with the residents. If all else failed, I could just make out with him in front of everyone.
“What are you smiling about?”
“Nothing.” I smoothed my features.
“I guess you had a good day.”
“It was all right.” I let my thoughts wander, and Cole let me. We got home, and I put on my costume without him asking, and made dinner.
After the meal, he set down his fork and caught my hand.
“What’s on your mind, Regina? It’s not like you to be so quiet.”
“Maple Grove…how much does a place like that cost?”
“A lot of money.”
I sagged in my seat. “Figured.”
“Don’t tell anyone this, but I heard that some employees get pretty substantial discounts.”
I glanced over at him sharply. It sounded too good to be true. “There aren’t any positions open. Betty told me that.”
“Yes, but Betty wants to retire.”
I went still. It sounded too good to be true.
“Do you think if I volunteered there for a few months, I’d be a good candidate for the job?”
“I think you’d be a shoo-in.”
I closed my eyes. I wanted this so badly for my mom I couldn’t breathe.
“It won’t work. I need money, now.”
“My guess is that Betty might hire on someone part time sooner rather than later. As for the rest…it just so happens I need a live in maid for the next few months. It pays pretty well.”
I smiled. “Does it now? I hear it’s worth it just for the other…perks.”
“Is that what we’re calling orgasms now?”
“If you like.” My smile fell away. “I can’t ask you to pay me.”
“You didn’t ask. I offered. What’s more, I’ll pay your bills directly, and order you to accept it.” He rose and cleared his dishes and mine. I stared at the woodgrain on the table, wondering if things could really get better, wondering if I dared to hope.
“If your mom moves there, you could sell the trailer. Move in permanently. Maybe even go back to college, finish up your degree. They have a commuter program. I checked.”
I closed my eyes. “Cole, I can’t.”
“Course you can. I’d pay for it.”
My eyes flew open. The handsome man across from me offered a smile that looked almost shy. And I realized that for the past few days, I’d been living in a dream.
Time to wake up.
“Why?” I asked. I made my voice hard.
“Why?” He frowned. I noticed his cheeks were flushed.
“You heard me, Cole.” I leaned forward. “Why would you do this? Why wouldn’t you just arrest me that night? Anyone else would’ve gotten in trouble.”
“Haven’t we been over this?”
“No. You never really answered. You say things like
I’m claiming you
and
you’re mine
and I just go with it. But I don’t know what any of it means.”
“Isn’t it obvious?” Now his neck was just as flushed as his face.
“No.” I suddenly was fighting tears. If it wasn’t important enough for him to say how he felt about me, then all of this was blackmail. And I was no better than a whore.
“Because I like you, Regina.”
Fury surged through me. “Like?” I waved my hand at the kitchen. “I am wearing a ridiculous costume. I even wore these torture things for you-” Reaching down, I pulled off the shoes and threw them at his head.
Cole raised his arms and pushed back in his chair. He started to rise and I beat him to it, standing so fast my own chair almost fell over.
“And all’s you can say is that you like me?” I screeched so loud the neighbors could hear.
“Regina, look.” His cheeks burned red as if I’d slapped him. I didn’t know if he was angry or embarrassed. “I’m not good with words like you—”
“Try, Cole.”
He took a deep breath and—
Nothing.
I shoved my chair back and stomped to the living room.
“I’ve got to go.”
Cole followed. “What are you doing?”
“What I should have done in the first place, instead of embezzling. Find some rich guy and suck his dick until he pays all my bills. Someone who isn’t you. All this time I should’ve used my body and I’ve been trying to use my brain. Silly me. Thanks for enlightening me.”
I picked up his landline—he kept one as sheriff. He took the phone out of my hand and threw it against the wall, where it shattered.
“What do you think this is?” He advanced. “You think this is some sort of game? That I would tell you I’m claiming you and then sit back and watch you walk out to another guy?”
I backed away. “Cole, I—”
“Answer me,” he shouted.
“You’re scaring me.”
He gripped my chin. He still looked pissed but his touch was gentle. “Good. Maybe then you’ll understand.”
“Understand what?” I pushed his hand away. “You make me do all these things for me, and you can’t even say what I am to you? A lover…a friend…a hot piece of ass? Just tell me where I stand!”
Cole’s chest rose and fell like he’d just run a mile. “I can’t.”
“Why not? Isn’t it enough that I obey you? That I want to be with you? I know you’re waiting for someone special—I just want it to be me!”
“Don’t you get it? It is you.”
“What?” I dropped to the couch like my legs had been cut out from under me.
“It’s always been you.”
“Then why—”
“I had to be sure.” He rubbed his hand over his head. “I wanted you to be sure. I don’t just want sex with you, Regina. I want it all.”
I shook my head, not understanding.
“I want this.” He waved his hand at my outfit. “I like spanking you. And controlling you. And overpowering you. I’m not normal, Regina. I never have been. I look at you, this beautiful woman, and I want to control you. I don’t want to settle down and treat you like a queen. I mean, I do, but here, and in the bedroom, I want to spank your ass raw and have you serve me on your knees. And I want to do more. I like having you as my slave. I need it.”
I studied his tense face. “Is that it?”
“I needed to know you could handle it.”
“Let me get this straight.” I stood up, but I was shorter than him. Climbing on the couch, I looked him in the eye. Standing on the furniture was probably against the rules, but Cole didn’t comment. “You’ve wanted me all this time. You just wanted to be sure I was sure.”
“Yes.”
“All of this has been a test?”
“I have these urges,” he said. “You need to understand what I am.”
“What are you, Cole?”
He pressed his lips together.
“You’re not a freak,” I reassured him. “You’re a dominant. You like control. Guess what, Cole?” I indicated my outfit. “I’m okay with it.”
“I have this darkness inside me...”
I cupped the side of his face. “I love your darkness.”