Resist (London) (16 page)

“Fuck ‘em!” She shouted, then spoke again, “I’m a student! That’s what students are supposed to do right?”                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                   

She couldn’t seem to stop giggling, I wanted to laugh along with her but I was also kind of worried. She was a party girl, but she didn’t get herself into a state like that.
Ever. Well, from what I knew anyway. This time, she looked like she was struggling to even hold her own head up.

“Harper, did you take something? Or are you just drunk?
” I asked, needlessly, since I already knew the answer.

“I
miiiight be” She slurred. Well, that didn’t make any sense, but considering the way she was cradling the bottle of vodka she had, I assumed she was just drunk.

Fuck, it was worse than I thought, she could hardly form words.

“Right, let’s get you up the stairs, get some water down you and get you into the shower okay?”

She frowned up at me, looking like she had forgotten I was even there. God damn, she really was a mess.

“You want to get me in the shower hey? You know, if you want to see me naked again, you only have to ask!”

I blew out a frustrated
breath, I did
not
need images of her naked in my head when I was trying to do the right thing. Then again, the sheer fact that she smelt like a brewery calmed my libido, marginally.

I picked her up bridal style holding her tightly against me, she just fit perfectly and was yet another reason I knew she was made for me. She rested her head on my shoulder and kept her eyes closed. She was mumbling, maybe to herself, I couldn’t tell, but I tried to understand what she was saying.

“All your fault Mason, you did this to me, it’s not right is it? Shouldn’t be feeling like this. Should be happy and laughing. Not loving though. Never loving. Can’t fall in love, it’s controlling. I can’t be controlled.”

Well, it didn’t make sense. But I couldn’t help the way I felt elated that she was talking about falling in love.

It had to mean something right?

I managed to get the door open and set Harper on the sofa so I could go and get her a drink of water. She was out for the count by that point, so she didn’t resist when I put her down. I stood staring down at her for a minute, wondering what it was that made her so god damn
stubborn. It couldn’t be
just
having rules as a kid, all kids have rules. Even all adults have rules, that’s life. The thought was only fleeting seeing as I got sidetracked almost instantly by her beauty.

Even with the black shit around her eyes smudged across her face, she was still the most beautiful girl I had ever seen. Every time, it was her lips that drew me in, they were like pure temptation.
Lickable, kissable, so god damn full and smooth that I couldn’t draw my eyes away from them.

I shook my head in an attempt to wipe the images from my brain. I poured her a glass of water and tried to rouse her from her sleep so I could force her to drink it. She told me she never had hangovers, but I was certain she would be in a lot of pain when she woke up, if I didn’t get some fluids down her.

Speaking to her wasn’t working, shouting at her wasn’t working and shaking her wasn’t working either. If it wasn’t for the steady rise and fall of her chest, I wouldn’t have even been sure she was still breathing. I gave up on the water and decided to put her in the shower.

If nothing else, at least she’d smell better afterwards!

I stripped us both down, turned the shower on at a luke-warm temperature and lifted us both under the water.

I tried to put her on her feet but her legs just buckled beneath her and she made no effort to support herself. I don’t think I’d ever seen anyone in that much of a state, and I work in a nightclub!

I was starting to get worried that maybe she needed a hospital, when I felt her rouse slightly and she started mumbling under her breath again.

“You shouldn’t be naked in here with me. Get out.”

I could barely make out the words, but when I did, I chuckled lightly, kissed the top of her head and held her tighter against me. Even in a drunken haze, she still took the effort to try and tell me what to do. She didn’t make any effort to pull away from me though.

I have no idea how I did it, but I got us both washed and dried, before carrying her into her bedroom.

I knew I shouldn’t stay. I promised myself I’d leave her to work out her shit by herself. But I just couldn’t leave. I wanted to hold her against me all night, forever actually, and never let go.

She had curled up on her side with her hands under her head and her knees tucked up, so I pulled her back into me and put one arm in the space between her neck and the pillow, and the other arm wrapped around her waist. I buried my face in her
hair, I loved the smell of her hair. Always like vanilla. But I promised myself again, stronger this time.

N
o more.

I wouldn’t be her lap-dog anymore.

That was the last time.

Well I hoped it would be, possibly, maybe.

Ahh hell, who was I really kidding, I didn’t think there was a chance in hell that I could stay away.

Harper

I woke up when I felt the bed shift beside me. I didn’t move until I could figure out who would be in my room, or why
I
was even in my room considering I couldn’t remember a thing about the previous night.

And then, like a freight train, it all just came rushing back.
The whole sordid lot of it.

Going to a dive bar.

Getting mauled by yellow teeth man.

Trying to kiss a random guy.

Getting turned down, even though I didn’t really want to go through with it anyway.

Drinking more than I ever have.

Good god, it was so awful. I had a vague recollection of being put in the shower at some point. But other than that, after getting in the taxi from the club, I didn’t have a clue what happened after that.

But I knew the smell.
That masculine, clean,
Mason
smell. So without turning my head or moving a muscle, I asked, “What are you doing here Mason?”

“Nothing.
Pretend I was never here.”

“Can’t exactly do that when I’m naked in my bed and you’re here too.”

I heard a heavy sigh and a few beats of silence. I wish he hadn’t have said anything.

“Ok, I’m here because you got yourself in such a state last night that you couldn’t even get yourself up the stairs. I was never going to leave you like that. I took care of you, I cleaned you, and I just wanted to hold for you for the night. It won’t happen again though Sunshine, I’m through with this. You still won’t let me in, and I’m tired of standing on the outside.”

I loved him.

He just didn’t know it.

I found it hard enough admitting it to myself, let alone ever admitting it to him. If I told him I loved him, he’d know how much he owned me, then he’d have all the control. Not. Happening.

I heard the zip on his trousers being pulled up and I panicked. I didn’t want him to leave like that. But I had started to form an idea in my head, something that I was almost certain would work, allow me to take back some semblance of control. I should definitely have thought it through more, maybe even just stopped thinking about all together even...anything other than what I did.

“Don’t go yet.”

“Don’t ask me to stay Harper. I’m not playing with this shit anymore.”

“Please stay.”

He hesitated, I saw it. I had hope.

Then he closed his eyes and shook his head, facing the floor.

“I’ll compromise.” I blurted, and he raised his head, looking straight at me.

“On what?”

I took a deep breath and answered, “Us.”

I sat up slightly in the bed, not bothering to cover myself up, I needed him to look at me like he wanted me. His eyes narrowed slightly but the rest of his body had frozen in place.

“You want to be with me?” He asked, sounding incredulous

“Not exactly.”

He shook his head, but said, “I’m listening...”

“I don’t want to lose you all together Mason. But I can’t have people telling me what to do. You’re too bossy, too overpowering. I won’t lie, you know I like spending time with you. But I meant what I said, I don’t want to be in a relationship with you. I’ll fuck you, I’ll spend time with you...but I won’t
be
with you. And we’ll have rules...”

“What rules?” He interrupted.

I knew the rules without even having to think about them. Rules to keep me safe, and ensure I kept my promise to myself.

“No asking where I’ve been or who I’ve been with. No demanding things of me.
No talking about
feelings.
No dates. No gifts, no romantic gestures... just fucking.” I declared.

He narrowed his eyes and pursed his lips, a thinking face I assumed. He studied me, probably trying to work out my game. I didn’t have a game though, I just wanted to be able to have sex with him
, fuck him out of my system I guess, without worrying about anything. No mixed messages, set rules. That simple.

“Alright...” He spoke slowly,
then added, “I want to add one other rule.”

“Okay, what rule?” I asked

“No one else. No other guys for you, and no other girls for me.”

Ahh crap.
Not happening.

“Um, Mase that’s basically a relationship, and that’s what I don’t want! Why can’t we just agree to this?”

“Because I don’t want any other guys hands on you, in fact, I just won’t allow it.”

Okay, so it didn’t go to plan, and he was getting on my nerves, what sort of guy would rather have all the
complications and responsibilities of a relationship, when he could have constant no-strings sex?

D
amn it!

“This is what I’m talking about!
I just said no demands Mason, if I want to fuck another guy, I damn well will. No, I don’t agree to that. I’ve told you what you can have, take it or leave it.”

Mason

I did not like ultimatums.

Did I wanna fuck her? That’s a stupid question, of course I did.

But there was no way in hell I was okay with her fucking other guys at the same time. In fact, I would never be okay with her fucking another guy, ever again.

She was mine god
dammit!

I knew I could use it to my advantage though. No matter how much she claimed it was just sex for the sake of sex. You can’t keep feelings out of it. Not altogether, it’s intimate, passionate and damn, with us...It was off the fuckin’ charts, hot. Her body was made for mine.
Long legs, soft skin and lips that practically screamed sex. The chemistry was explosive and I refused to let her ignore it. I knew then, that her idea to keep control has completely backfired. She knows how much I hate to lose. New plan, I was gonna fuck those rules right out of her.

Yeah Sunshine, you just made life a whole easier for me!

Harper

I watched him thinking over what I’d said. So, I really did feel the intensity in his eyes. He didn’t like my ultimatum. But he was still thinking it over.

Chances are, I probably wouldn’t have slept with anyone else anyway,
I just didn’t like him demanding that of me. I just wanted him, all the time. So it was a choice, do things my way.

Or no way at all.

I discreetly crossed my fingers under the blanket, hoping he’d take me up on my offer. People have fuck-buddies all the time, why couldn’t I?

Well, I already knew the answer to that. I loved him.
So much.

I don’t think fuck-buddies are supposed to have actual feelings for each other. Urgh, who am I kidding? I don’t know the rules involved in these things. All I knew was I wanted to have him, without him having me!

Selfish, fucked up, but fact.

He bit his bottom lip and I couldn’t help but moan at how erotic it looked.

The moan did it. His eyes turned molten. Decision made apparently.

Mason

I stalked over to the bed, threw one leg over her so I was straddling her hips, and leant right down so all she could was my face.
That moan, god, after that, there wasn’t even a decision to make. I needed her beneath me.

But first...

“So you can make demands, with your
rules
, but I can’t even make one?”