Resistance (27 page)

A
llie’s heart
seemed to stop.

The words hung in the air like smoke; incriminating her.

I did not just say that,
she thought, panicking.
Why did I do that?

But it was too late to turn back. You can’t recant a declaration of love. It cannot be withdrawn or stricken from the record. It’s there forever.

She stared at Carter in shock, as if he was the one who’d said it, and waited for him to recoil. To look embarrassed. To tell her she was wrong. A horrible person.

A cheater.

He’d gone dangerously still – so still he didn’t seem to breathe.

Then he sagged back as if some unseen force that had been holding him up had suddenly let go. His breath came out in a ragged sigh.

‘Oh God, Allie, I love you, too.’

Something cold inside of her began to thaw. All of her confusion left her. Because the answer was right in front of her.

She couldn’t love Sylvain because she was in love with Carter. She always had been.

They reached for each other at the same time, and then, at last, his lips were against hers and they were kissing with the pent-up desire of months of trying not to want each other.

Exhilaration made Allie’s head swim. She’d wanted this for so long. Dreamed of it. But she’d thought it could never be. Now his lips were against hers – warm and familiar. His breath was soft inside her mouth, filling her lungs.

After everything that had happened, she needed this. Needed him. Needed it to be OK.

She knelt closer to him on the unfamiliar bed, twining her wrists around his neck.

He whispered words against her lips that she couldn’t make out but she knew what he was saying. That he loved her. That they should always be together.

His hands slid down her spine, flattening against the small of her back, trying to pull her closer, but it wasn’t necessary, she’d wrapped her arms around his neck and was pulling his body down on top of hers.

When she lay flat on the bed, he propped himself up on his arms so as not to crush her against the unforgiving mattress, and covered her face with kisses. Kissing her forehead, her eyelids, the tip of her nose, her chin.

Then his mouth returned to hers.

Butterflies swarmed in Allie’s stomach. Wonderingly, she explored his body, running her hands over his shoulders, down the bare skin of his arms, up the flat plane of his stomach, the shallow curves of his chest.

He was so warm. So alive.

‘Is this really happening?’ she whispered. ‘I’m not dreaming … am I?’

He sat up, pulling her with him with easy strength until she sat facing him, her legs tangled up with his. Cupping her face between the palms of his hands, he held her as if she were made of the most fragile glass. His eyes were as serious as she’d ever seen them.

‘This is not a dream.’

‘But how?’ she said, still stroking his shoulders, feeling the muscles move beneath her fingers. Solid and real. ‘What will we do?’

His hands slid down to her waist and he pulled her forward until she could feel his breath on her cheeks.

‘We will find a way,’ he promised her. ‘We have to. I won’t be apart from you any more. I won’t pretend any more.’

It was like he was reading her mind. Saying her thoughts aloud.

‘I feel like I’ve been lying to myself for so long …’ She touched the soft silk of his eyebrows, the hard, smooth angles of his cheekbones. ‘But I had to. I didn’t want to hurt anyone. I didn’t want to be hurt.’

He closed his eyes, letting her touch him everywhere. ‘I will never hurt you, Allie. Never again.’

She believed him.

Placing her hands flat on his chest she pushed him back on to the bed. He fell back willingly and she lay on top of him, the sound of his soft laughter muffled by the pressure of her lips against his.

‘
I
tried
,’ Carter said quietly, ‘to make myself fall in love with Jules.’

As he spoke, his fingers traced circles on the sensitive skin on the inside of Allie’s forearm. She felt that touch in her stomach.

Her own fingers were running through the soft, dark strands of his hair.

They lay side by side on the bed, facing each other. Now that they were allowed to touch each other, they couldn’t seem to stop.

‘It was the same with Sylvain,’ Allie confessed. The thought of how much this would hurt Sylvain extracted some of the joy from the moment with the precise sharpness of a scalpel. She dropped her hands to her sides. ‘I care about him – I can’t seem not to. But when he told me he loved me … I couldn’t say it back. I think I knew then. But I couldn’t admit it to myself.’

Carter pulled her fingers up to his lips and kissed them. His eyes were sombre. ‘The poor sod.’

Allie thought of the lost look on Sylvain’s face when he said goodbye. The way he’d said, ‘
Even though I know
…’ Had he meant this?

All along, had he known who she really loved?

She couldn’t bear to think of that.

Taking Carter’s hand in hers she pressed his palm against the skin of her cheek. This was what mattered right now. This contact.

This love.

With his other hand, Carter traced soft, invisible lines along her jaw, down her neck, along her clavicle.

His touch made her shiver.

‘And Jules?’ she said. ‘Is she in love with you?’

His face darkened. Dropping his hand on to the curve of her hip, he nodded.

‘Before she left … things were getting serious. I knew I had to get out of it before it went too far but I didn’t know how. I was afraid I’d … I’d hurt her.’

He rolled over on his back, resting his head on his hand, staring up at the ceiling as if he would find the answers he needed there.

Allie sat up so she could see his face.

‘When her parents took her away, the worst part was … I was kind of relieved.’ He wouldn’t meet her eyes. ‘And I hated myself for that. But I couldn’t help it. I kept hoping she’d find someone at the new school who deserved her. Then she’d break up with me and everything would be fine.’

‘But she didn’t,’ Allie said.

He shook his head, his lips in a tight line. ‘She wrote me letters, telling me she’d wait until we were both out. We could go to university together …’

Allie let out her breath.

‘What a mess we both are.’ Her voice was thick. ‘We try so hard not to hurt anyone that we hurt everyone.’ She raked her fingers through her tangled hair. ‘We ought to be arrested for the good of the community.’

A wry smile quirked up the corners of his lips. ‘We’re not criminals, Allie. We just … can’t not love each other.’

Each time he said the word it made her heart flip.

Love.

So this is what it feels like.

‘What happens now?’ she asked, leaning closer to him. ‘I mean seriously? If neither of us can bear to hurt Jules or Sylvain …’

‘We have to.’ A strand of Allie’s hair tumbled on to Carter’s chest and he caught it, twisting it around his finger like a ring. ‘You just said we tried to protect them and all we did was make things worse. I actually think we’ll protect them more by being honest.’

Suddenly miserable, Allie lowered her head on to his chest, pressing her body against his. He pulled her into his arms, holding her close. As she listened to his heart beat a steady rhythm she couldn’t ever remember feeling so warm and safe.

‘I don’t want to hurt anyone,’ she murmured as exhaustion took over and her eyes drifted shut.

He pressed his lips against her temple. ‘Me neither. But I am never losing you again, Allie Sheridan. And that is a promise.’

B
ang
, bang, bang!

Allie went from sound asleep to wide awake in an instant, sitting straight up in bed and staring at the heavy bedroom door, hoping she’d dreamed it. But Carter was already standing on the other side of the bed, his body tense.

The knocking came again, so hard and insistent the door shook in its frame.

They ran across the room until they stood on either side of the doorway.

‘Who …?’ Allie whispered, looking at Carter.

He kept his eyes on the door. ‘Raj, I hope. Only one way to find out.’ He stepped closer to the door. ‘Who’s there?’

There was a pause. ‘Dom. And friends.’

Hearing the familiar American accent, Allie relaxed. They were saved.

Carter moved quickly to open the sturdy locks and the door swung open.

On the dark landing, looking as unruffled as if she always roused students from guesthouses at four in the morning, Dom stood at the head of a phalanx of guards.

Her glasses glittered in the light from the bedroom as she scanned them for wounds. Finding none, she tilted her head. ‘Let’s get you out of here.’

Before they could move, though, Nicole and Zoe pushed through the others to get to them.

‘Allie!’ Nicole pulled her into a hug. Allie clung to her, relieved to see them both in one piece.

‘Where’s Rachel?’ Allie asked, looking down the dark stairwell.

‘She’s safe,’ Nicole promised her. ‘Outside in the car. Everyone’s OK.’

‘Thank God.’ Allie felt weak with relief.

They were all OK. Everyone was fine.

All but one.

‘Lucinda?’ Allie looked from Nicole to Dom, afraid she already knew the answer.

Nicole just squeezed her hand and shook her head.

‘She didn’t make it,’ Dom said. ‘I’m very sorry.’

Allie shuddered. Those were precisely the same words Isabelle had used about Jo.

She didn’t make it ….

It was an awful way to say someone had died. As if they’d somehow
failed
to live. Failed to survive a bullet. Or a blade.

She was still processing how she felt when Zoe looked past her and frowned at the rumpled bed. She wrinkled her pert nose. ‘Wait. Did you two
sleep together
?’

Allie froze. The stairwell went sickeningly silent. Everyone seemed to be looking at her. Or trying not to look at her.

Carter handled it. ‘There’s only one bed,’ he explained. ‘But we didn’t do much sleeping.’ Allie’s gaze shot to his; he didn’t meet her eyes. ‘We were waiting for you guys. What took you so long anyway?’

‘There were lots of people to fight,’ Zoe said chirpily. ‘Then Raj made us wait because you were followed.’

Allie saw Carter’s body tense.

‘Why did he think that?’ he asked, his voice unnaturally even.

‘When you left the park, someone was behind you,’ Nicole said softly. ‘But Raj’s friend – Sharif, I think? – he’s been watching the street all night and he saw no one so we decided it was OK to come get you now.’

Allie thought of Sharif, already tired when they arrived, staying up all night to keep them safe. She could have hugged him.

‘We
think
it’s safe but we’re not certain,’ Dom said, clarifying Nicole’s assessment. ‘We should go. The cars are out front.’

‘One second.’ Allie ran back to the room to grab her boots, hopping on one foot as she pulled them up. Carter was on the opposite side of the bed, putting on his shoes.

She could feel everyone watching them; speculating about what had happened in this room with just one bed.

Boots on, she straightened and walked to the door with her head held high. Carter was right behind her.

As they closed the door, Allie stole a quick last glance at the room where everything changed. Where she’d finally listened to her heart.

Carter’s fingers brushed against hers as she turned away and she didn’t believe it was an accident.

Her heart ached with love for him.

She’d lost the grandmother she barely knew but she still wasn’t alone. Now she had Carter.

T
hey descended
the stairs in a precise order. Two guards in front. Then Nicole and Zoe, Allie and Carter, followed by Dom and two more guards.

Allie was sure they’d already woken everyone in the house but they moved quietly now, hustling down the steep staircase to the ground floor.

The entrance hall was dark and there was no sign of Sharif. She said a silent thanks to him, wherever he was, for looking out for them.

The guards opened the front door.

Allie stood on her toes to see, but all she could make out was darkness.

They left the building in pairs. Allie and Carter were side by side, surrounded by the others.

The street was utterly silent. The drinkers in the pub on the corner must have finally gone home to sleep it off.

It was not yet dawn. The sky was velvety black above the harsh glare of the streetlights. Allie looked up at the dark emptiness above them. Something was missing. It took her a minute to figure out what it was.

There were no stars.

You can never see the stars in London. The city is its own solar system, so bright it blinds you.

When she’d lived here, she’d just accepted that fact. But now the sky seemed empty without them.

The warm night air smelled heavily of exhaust.

A line of four black Land Rovers stood waiting for them, double parked, engines idling. Allie saw Rachel inside one of them, waving at her wildly. She waved back.

Moving as one, careful but fast, they made their way down the concrete front steps to the pavement, then out into the street. Ahead, the car doors opened for them.

Something moved at the edge of Allie’s vision. She snapped around to see a skinny black cat slinking across the road in a pool of lamp light. It stopped in front of the first Land Rover, licked its shoulder then stared at her accusingly with wide, golden eyes.

Black cat crossed our path
.

A sudden sense of dread made her shiver. But then Dom, talking quietly into her mobile phone (‘Loading the vehicles now. All parties accounted for’), grabbed her elbow, and steered her towards the third vehicle.

Her nerves alight with apprehension, Allie went where she was told, but she kept her eyes on the cat.

Suddenly, it crouched and hissed, as if startled. As she watched, it scuttled out of the road, leaping over a low wall with impossible grace, and disappearing in the darkness.