Retribution (Book 3 of The Dominion Series) (11 page)

He must feel it for he leans his forehead against mine for a moment as his breathing quickens. We remain like that for a moment and even my heart races at the image of kneeling naked at his feet. I push it out of the way, hating my weakness. My heart screams that he killed my mother… My mind counters that he was compelled to kill her just like he was compelled when he killed Danielle. Not of his own choice.

It was Soren. My hatred for Soren almost makes me change my mind.

He exhales heavily, making that sound in the back of his throat. Then, he pulls back, his face serious once more.

"You'd need to obey me in every way and without hesitation. If I tell you to do something, you have to do it. I have to know with complete certainty you won't question me."

"I don't really think I want this whole Dominance / submission thing," I say, but I know it's a lie. There's this part of me that seriously finds it appealing.

I hate that it does.

"Eve," he says, his voice soft. "This isn’t about what you want or what I want anymore. If it was, you and I would be living in Wales on the Pembrokeshire coast. From there, we could watch the stars at night and walk the beaches. Listen to the birds nesting in the cliffs on Skomer Island. Make love to the sound of the surf."

I stare at him for a moment. Despite everything, it still touches my heart that he wants us to be together somewhere far away, but I must fight Soren. Maybe I'm starting to accept that Michel isn't truly guilty, that Soren was the one truly responsible for my mother's death.

But still… I'm with Julien now. I love
Julien
and it's only in that moment that I realize I
do
love him.

“If you want me to come with you, you have to tell me everything. Tell me how you knew my mother.”

He sighs.  “I met your mother before she joined the Council as a researcher. Then she married your father and she wanted a child so much but she was infertile, her tubes blocked and scarred by an infection she got when she was on the streets. I told her about a Council program which would provide her with IVF if she agreed to carry at least one child to term for our use.”

“So you blackmailed her.”

He exhales. “We gave her what she wanted most in life. A child. You think what she wanted most was to kill all vampires, but you're wrong. She wanted you.”

“You preyed on her desire for a child in order to get your prized Adept with fight skills.”

“Eve, do you have any idea how important you are?”

“No,” I say, anger filling me once more, despite his powers. “You’ve never really explained.”

“At first, your kind – the new group of enhanced Adepts – were intended to protect vampires like Julien, who’d be fighting those out for Dominion. To protect them as well as work cases.”

I nod. “My mother could fight. How was that possible?"

"She was one of the very few natural anomalies found due to genetic screening. They were fast, but they didn't have fight sight. That was just your group. Eve, your DNA was enhanced using Ancient DNA, and from them, DNA from the Grigori.”

“Grigori,” I say, scoffing. “I don’t believe in any Fall.”

He sighs. “Regardless, when the Grigori fell, they infused their DNA into that of humans and it’s been passed on for thousands of years, mostly silent. When it is expressed, it causes more problems than it solves. Your mother’s abilities caused her so many problems until she understood they were gifts."

I frown, not knowing what that meant. “What problems?”

“Like you, she had touch telepathy and saw violence in the objects she touched. But unlike you, she grew up in a very violent home and so she was almost driven mad by it. She ran away, lived on the streets, was a prostitute and drug addict in Brooklyn. Like Kate. That’s how she became infertile.”

"Kate was an Adept?"

"Yes," he says, shaking his head. "She was a natural anomaly like your mother. But she wasn't discovered until it was too late for her. She couldn't be saved. All I could do was care for her until she died. I couldn't cure her, even after I transformed."

I exhale, wanting to keep pushing him to get more answers.

"You met my mother because of your work.”

He nods. “I was in New York for a while doing outreach for the Council. We looked specifically for runaways and street youth. Because of their gifts, natural Adepts most often had problems in school and with their families. I found your mother and realized she was an Adept. I brought her to our rehab facility. She blossomed. Went to school, got her degrees, met your father…”

“Julien said I was meant for him. My mother wanted me to be his Adept, if I chose to join the Council when I reached eighteen.”

Michel looks away and I follow his gaze out the window at the mountains surrounding the Abbey.

“
Technically
, you were intended for one of us. Your mother wanted it to be Julien because she trusted him. I wasn't an operative at that time, but Julien was, so you would never have been mine."

"An operative?"

"Undercover," he says. "Working to infiltrate Blackstone. I was at the SCU."

"Why are Adepts like me so important?"

Finally
we sit up and he takes my hand, leading me to chairs along the wall. I sit and he stands in front of me.
I look at my coach and he’s standing with his head down. Michel must have compelled him to comply, no questions.
Michel sits beside me on a chair, one arm on the back behind me. I move away from him.

"We discovered that those of you created under the new program have this unique ability. When you drink our blood, you can connect telepathically to us and we can connect to you. If you drank the blood of ten vampires, you can connect us all. Genes we didn’t understand from the Grigori were transferred, giving you this ability. You’re a conduit.”

I move farther away, for when he's so close, I can't help but feel something from him.

“Why is that important?”

“It would link all of us together so we’d know exactly what each one was doing and thinking. Like a collective. Like the Grigori before they fell. It would be amazing for warriors. Or strategists. Or angels who just want back a bit of the heaven they lost when they fell. That's why Soren wants you.”

“This is insane,” I say and turn my face away. “The Grigori. Fallen angels. I don’t believe it. They’re just mutated humans. They have some ability to project into our brains and make us think we’re experiencing things. Like you making me see wings, manipulating my dreams or my mind. That’s it.”

He sighs. “You just won’t believe, will you? No matter what.”

“I’m a skeptic,” I say and look at him. “I need proof. Evidence.”

“Haven’t I given that to you? What more do I have to do?”

I shake my head.

“How can you prove it isn’t a mental projection? You can’t. I know some neuroscience. Real experience or stimulating a memory – there is no ultimate difference to the brain or the person experiencing it. Until you can prove it, projection is the simplest explanation. I tend to accept those over the more complicated ones that rely on some improvable deity.”

I'm so confused and squeeze my fingers into my palms to clear my mind.

"Regardless of what you believe, believe this. I didn't want this for you. I wanted you to study music like your parents did. But what I want isn't the point. This is about fighting Dominion," he says, "and both you and I have a responsibility to join the fight.
This
is what your mother would have wanted for you, had she known how close we are to it. Julien's so infatuated with you, he won’t let you be used the way you should be, but Eve, as much as I love you, I know I have to put my personal desires aside and use you the way you were meant to be used.”

“As a weapon?”

He nods, closing his eyes. “
Yes
.”

“I hate the thought of leaving Julien.”

“You’ll hate yourself even more one day if I you don’t come with me.”

“Why can’t you and Julien just cooperate and fight against Dominion together?”

He shakes his head. “Because we both love you and want you for our own. Neither of us wants to yield to the other.”

“Why can’t I choose between you?”

“You
can
. I just wanted to give you time. I wanted to see how Julien would use you and now I have.” He shakes his head. “In the end, he’s too selfish. He wants a happy little life with you as his partner, fighting crime like you’re some ordinary Adept. You’re
not
ordinary and you were meant for this war.”

He shakes his head for a moment as if fighting his emotions.

“I can't lie, Eve. I was just as foolish and selfish. I thought I could make a new life for you and escape this future but I was wrong. I understand now that I have to follow this path, however much I wish to avoid it. As much as I love you – as much as I want you, I need you with me to win this war even more.”

“So I can choose?”

“Yes, but please," he says and takes my shoulders in his hands, staring in my eyes. "Consider what I've said seriously. I'm giving you this choice. By rights, I could just take you, the way Julien has. He
didn't
give you a choice, did he? He took you and you were far too overwhelmed by him and by everything that's happened to you to refuse. I
will
give you the choice. I've
always
given you the choice. But let me warn you again – things have gone farther than I thought they would. Time is not on our side, Eve.”

“Tell me so I understand.”

“I would but I don’t want to frighten you." He shakes his head. "I don’t want to break your heart.”

“It’s that bad?”

He nods, and brushes a strand of hair off my face. “If it wasn’t, I’d let you stay with him without making this offer. I won't lie to you. He can make you happy. I know that.”

“So if I say I'm staying with Julien, you'll just up and leave right now?”

“I let you stay this long. I didn’t try to take you back. I wanted to see what he’d do and how you’d respond. I've made my offer. You have until the end of the course to decide. At the end of your test, Julien will be here and he'll take you with him. Or I'll take you with me. It's your choice. You'll have to live with the consequences.”

I don't know what to do or say, so I just sit there, staring at his beautiful face, so filled with concern.

"I want you to be happy, Eve," he says and leans in, kissing me softly. "I'll do everything I can to make you as happy as possible if you agree to help me. But I can't promise you happiness. You may chafe at what you must do, what you must be when we're on stage and you're seen as my pet. As my blood slave. It will be dangerous. You may even die."

"If I decide to stay with Julien?"

"I'll leave and I won't come back unless you ask me to. Even if you do decide to stay with him, at any time, you need only contact me and I'll come for you. It will break my heart if you choose him, but I want you to be free to choose. To be happy."

Something's building inside of me. Emotions are filling me up, making me close to tears. I bite my cheek for a moment.

“What about your happiness?”

He shakes his head.

“I’ll be happy once we stop Dominion. Not until.”

I close my eyes and take in a deep breath.

"I'll decide when the time comes," I say.

He nods and releases my shoulders.

"Have you fed yet today?"

I shake my head. "I usually do before they shut out the lights. The blood heals me of any wounds I receive during training. Then Julien and I connect."

He nods. "I want you to have my blood tonight. If Julien knows I've made this offer, there's no telling what he might do."

"He'll be worried if I don't connect with him."

"Your trainer will call him and tell him that they had to feed you ordinary vampire blood because the facility experienced a power outage and the blood went bad. He won't be happy, but he'll wait. I know he's busy in Boston. He's planning on flying to France tomorrow night so he'll be here for your final test."

"That's devious."

He cracks a grin. "I'm eight hundred years old, Eve. I've had lots of practice."

I can't help but smile back at his playful tone and that lopsided grin. Then his grin disappears and he pulls me into his arms, his lips finding my cheek, his tongue touching my skin. I feel such a wave of love and desire from him that it almost makes me pass out, but I push him away.

"Michel," I say, trying to escape his arms. "I can't…"

He sighs, his hands cupping my face. "I'm sorry. You must understand how I feel…"

I do understand. I feel it when he touches me. He loves me. He wants me. His heart is breaking at the thought that I love Julien.

Despite everything, this feels so right – being with Michel. This could happen so easily between us...

I pull back and there are tears in his eyes. The expression on his face is haunting in its sadness, as if he already knows that I'll choose Julien.