Retribution (Book 3 of The Dominion Series) (9 page)

My body trembles with pleasure as the endorphins hit my brain and I can’t imagine a more intense experience than this – him inside me, me feeling his desire on top of mine, our minds connecting, the effect of his blood magnifying everything ten-fold.

It’s almost too much to bear.

Almost.

But I can bear it because it's washing away the pain and grief over learning that Michel killed my mother. I will bear it because this is what I need to forget him. I shut off my mind and let my body lead me where it wants me to go – where my heart wants to be.

Then Julien bites me, the pain sharp and short and we wallow in pleasure too intense to describe.

The next morning, I wake and he’s naked on his stomach beside me, a pillow over his head. I'm surprised to see him there and that he wants to sleep with me. He always left before.

“What’s going on in that too-busy mind of yours, Eve?” he says, his voice muffled under the pillow. “You think too much.”

I smile. “How can I not think with you lying there naked like that?”

He pulls the pillow off his head and rolls on to his side, reaching to run his fingers over my cheek, aiming for my dimple.

“God, all I want to do is fuck you,” he says. “It’s really distracting.”

My gaze travels down his body to his erection. “That’s just a morning thing,” I say and grin. “Even I know that. You get one of those,” I say and point to it, “and you look around for a way to get rid of it. If it wasn’t me, it’d be someone – or something else.”

“Luckily, it is you. But what were you thinking? I couldn't quite read you because my blood is leaving your system."

"I was thinking that you never slept with me before and wondering why you are now."

"I've changed," he says softly. "Before I thought you'd died, I thought I had time to position myself so I could win you back from Michel. I can't wait anymore. I have to take what I want or Michel and Soren will."

I don’t really know what I think of this possessiveness of his, other than it thrills me a bit and scares me at the same time. He’s so powerful now as a vampire since he and Michel took the waters of life, but it’s just the force of his personality that’s also so powerful.

He pulls me over on top of him and kisses my neck. I try to pull away.

“Let’s have a shower first,” I say.

“Women. Always want to be so clean. Men just want to fuck.”

He lets me go and I get off the bed and go to the bathroom. I turn on the shower so that it’s nice and warm and I get in, Julien behind me. We stand together under the streams of water until we’re both soaked. Then I get shampoo and start washing my hair. He does the same and then pulls me closer so that my back is against him. I lean against the wall, my hands spread to hold my weight.

He starts running his soapy hands over my body, from my shoulders, over my breasts and down to my groin and between my thighs.  Then he soaps my back and down to my behind, his fingers slipping between my cheeks. It’s just so warm and pleasant and arousing, standing like this, for we’re connected, just enough of him touching my mind so that I’m able to take it without getting dizzy.

He slips his hands back around to my mound, his erection pressing against me from behind. Then he takes my hips in his hands rubs his erection between my cheeks, and for a moment, it presses against my anus.

I tense, something nameless but very dark rising inside of me, scaring me when I feel him there.

“
Don’t
,” I say. I straighten up and clench my fists, nails digging into my palms.

“What’s the matter?” he says and stops. But then he knows because he feels the buried memory just before the pain from my palms blocks him.

“I’m sorry,
I’m sorry
,” he says, instantly understanding. He tries to turn me around and embrace me but I don’t let him for nausea rises in me at the body memories I can't block. I pull away from him, and he lets me, his hands dropping. I rinse off, all desire fleeing.

“I wasn’t going to take you that way,” he says, standing there, his hair still all soapy, his lashes wet and clumped together. “I would never unless we talked about it first. It was just accidental.”

I shake my head, unable to speak. When I’m finished rinsing off, I step out of the shower and he rinses off and turns off the water. I’m almost dry by the time he has a large towel around his waist.

“Eve,” he says, his voice soft. “Don’t shut me out. Talk to me.”

“I can’t,” I say and wave him away. “We’ll
never
talk about that,” I say, motioning to the shower, “because
that
will never happen.
Never
.”

I go to the bedroom and find my clothes.

He follows me. “Never is a long time.”

I just wave my hand at him and turn away, biting at my cheek to stop my tears.

“Eve, I understand that what Thompson did hurt you very deeply.
That
,” he says and points to the shower, “doesn’t have to hurt. It can be very pleasurable for a woman if done right. It’s all technique. A man has to know what he’s doing.”

I turn to him, horrified. “
That
will never happen. If you want it, find someone else.”

He grabs me and holds me still, his hands gripping my shoulders.

“Eve,” he says, his voice soft. “You want the truth. I’ll tell you the truth.”

I turn my face but he forces it back so that he’s looking in my eyes.

“I’ve lived a long time. The things you fear the most?” he says and strokes my cheek. “The things you say you’ll never do because you fear them? Those are the things you
must
do to defeat your fears. If you don’t, they’ll fester inside of you. They'll haunt you. If you do them, they lose power over you. Then, you’ll be free.”

I can’t believe he’s saying these things.

“How could you even
imagine
doing it to me when you know what happened to me?”

“I
fuck
you, Eve, even though Thompson did as well. Even though he hurt you when he did. You enjoy fucking me, don’t you?”

“I would never enjoy
that
.”

“Yes, you would.”

“
Never
.”

“You would. You’d come,
hard
, and then you’d cry because you’d be so relieved. You’d be so glad you destroyed another fear. Overwrote another bad memory with a good one. I
know
you, Eve. You want to be fearless. It’s your motivation for everything – this need to no longer be afraid of the darkness in your past. Your mother’s death, your father’s insanity, your own rape.”

I try to pull my arms away from him. “I thought I knew you.”

“OK, that’s the end of it.” He lets go of me, raising his hands as if in surrender. “You won’t hear another word from me about it. If you ever want to try, I’m here. I know how and I guarantee you’ll be glad you did. You’ll be stronger and you'll be free from your past.”

“It’s perverted.”

“
Sacristy
,” he says under his breath. He makes a sound in his throat and covers his eyes with a hand for a moment. “Then I am one and just about every man in the world who ever existed is as well, because part of every one of us wants to do it. That's the truth. Even Michel, although he'd probably deny it and then just dream of it.”

He turns away and dries off.

I quickly dress, then leave the bedroom and sit at the piano in the large reception room. I don’t really know how to move on from this uncomfortable moment, all the lovely warm emotions and lust from earlier are gone now.

He comes up behind me and wraps his arms around my shoulders, his mouth at my neck.

"This was a mistake," I say, my throat choky.

“No, the mistake was ever letting Michel take you back when he returned from Pittsburgh, but I didn't want Soren to take you. I
love
you, Eve,” he says softly. “Whatever you want. Anything you want.
Anything
.” He sits on the bench and turns my face to him. “I’m yours, in case you didn’t realize it. I’ll do anything you want. Just say the word.”

I look at him for a moment, at the blue eyes, the dark brows. The thin silvery scar on his cheek.

“I read in my journal that you said you couldn’t give me what I want. What made you change your mind?”

"Time," he says and shakes his head, brushing the backs of his fingers along my chin. “Time changes us all.”

CHAPTER SEVEN

"March on and fear not the thorns, or the sharp stones on life's path."

Khalil Gibran

“The first thing you have to do is get trained,” Julien says as we sit at a small table in the reception room and a servant brings a tray of food for our breakfast. I select some scrambled eggs and toast, with a cup of coffee and orange juice. I’m starving, having barely eaten since Julien found me on the beach.

“What will that involve?”

He scrapes eggs and bacon onto his plate and digs in, as if he's ravenous.

“You need to learn how to use your powers,” he says between bites, eyeing me judgingly. “You beat Michel in the dojo but that was just one on one. If you have several opponents and some of them are also Adepts with fight sight, you’ll need to know how to beat them. You’re going to a special training facility in France.”

“France?”

He nods, takes a sip of coffee. “They specialize in Ni
tō
Ichi fighting. You need to know how to fight with two weapons – a stake and a sword. Or a gun and a stake. The trainers there are the very best. You’ll be there for two weeks to get the basics and then you and I will practice for a while. You’ll be tested when I think you’re ready. If you pass, no one will be able to beat you without a very tough fight.”

“I can’t beat either you or Michel any more, can I?”

He shakes his head, takes a long drink of orange juice, looking at me intently over the rim of his glass.

“No. Not since we both transformed.”

“Since you both can now manipulate our minds, make us think you have wings or
can disappear.”

“Oh, ye of little faith,” He says and shakes his head, grinning. “You are
so
stubborn.”

He turns back to his food but now, he’s a bit less focused, like he wants to say something but thinks better of it.

“What?” I say, knowing he wants to speak up but he doesn’t.

He shakes his head. Puts his fork down and pushes back from the table.

“Nothing,” he says. He regards me from under those dark brows. “It’ll be a tough two weeks, Eve. You'd better eat up. You’ll be worked like you’ve never been worked before. The mental and physical discipline will change you.”

“How?”

“You’ll become tougher. Wiser.”

“Wiser?”

“It’s not just a physical discipline. It’s mental. It forces you to focus on what matters. It centers you spiritually.”

A thrill goes through me at the thought of training and becoming stronger. I took some Kendo as a teen, using wooden katana. I knew that Ni
tō
Ichi was double sword fighting.

“What about Michel?” I say, wondering how he’ll respond to the fact that Julien has me and is planning on training me.

“What about him?” he says, and I can still hear a thin note of anger in his voice. “You’re mine. I made that clear to Vasquez. Michel’s out of this as far as I’m concerned. Things are the way they were supposed to be so forget him and his grand plan of manipulation.”

“What plan?”

He just waves his hand in dismissal. “He thinks he can control everything. He’s self-deceived.”

I try to push Michel out of my mind, but I know he’ll be upset that I’m with Julien. Right now, I'm still too shocked by his revelation to know how I feel. I sigh and drink down the rest of my coffee.

“What about your blood when I’m at the facility?”

“I’ll make sure you have a supply to keep you healthy. Mine has the strength of ten vampires so it will help you heal from any wounds or bruises you get from training.”

“When do I go?”

“Tomorrow. We fly tonight.”

“You think I’m ready?”

“If you aren’t, you’ll get ready really quick.”

“Will I see you at all?”

He shakes his head. “Not until your training is over. I’ll see you the last day when you’re tested.”

A sense of apprehension fills me. Going to France, staying at a training facility for two weeks away from everything I know.

It will be a real test.

That night when it’s time for my blood feed, I’m in no mood for sex and Julien retreats when he feels me so apprehensive, his lust doing nothing to arouse me.