Return of the Warrior (16 page)

“Understand what?”

Christian’s throat tightened as old memories assailed him. “When I first came to Europe, I couldn’t sleep for days on end. I would walk the halls of Stryder’s home, clutching my sword and searching every shadow for someone who might pounce on me. Stryder was the same. The only way we learned to sleep again was to have two beds set into his chambers. I would stand watch and guard over him while he slept and then he would watch over me. If I heard the simplest footstep or voice outside my room, I would awaken in a sweat, clutching my sword in expectation of an attack.”

Her heart ached for the horror he described.

“To this day, I can’t sleep well unless I can identify every sound around me and know that it isn’t masking the sound of an enemy coming after me. It is only in the last year that I have finally learned to lay my sword aside at night.”

“But you still keep it within arm’s reach.”

He nodded. “It is a hard way to live. Many of those demons are gone now, like shadows of a distant nightmare. But others…they are more resilient and they stalk me even now.”

Christian paused to frown at her. She could feel him searching her gaze as if seeking something he needed. “At least they did until you.”

He picked up a lock of her hair and stroked it
with his fingers. “I don’t hear them whispering to me whenever you’re near. I only hear your heartbeat.”

Those words lightened her heart and gave her hope. “Then I am glad for you.”

His eyes tormented, he pulled her into his arms and gave her a thunderous hug. Adara held him close, reveling in this moment. He had reached out to her. For the first time, he had spoken of his past and shared it with her.

It was a breakthrough.

As in all battles, his heart wouldn’t be won by a single victory. It would take many small ones such as this to bring him to her.

She would be patient and she would trust that in the end, Christian would finally see all that she offered him.

And yet even as that thought went through her, she saw an image in her mind of Agbert holding Christian. Of his gaunt, terrified face that had only been eased by Christian’s kind and patient reassurances. It was true that Christian’s people needed him.

But now she was no longer sure if his people were the Elgederions or the ones who were still being freed and returned to their families.

While Christian and Dagger settled Agbert, Adara returned to the inn to pack their things so that the army could march as soon as they were all ready.

She left out Christian’s armor, assuming he would want to wear it beneath his monk’s robe as he always did.

After Phantom and Lutian came to get her coffer and take it to the wagons to be loaded, she went below to buy bread, milk, and cheese to break her fast. She smiled at the inn’s owner as soon as she saw him and asked for enough that she could share with Christian when he returned.

The short older man walked off, leaving her alone. While she waited, a strange sensation came over her. The hair on the back of her neck rose as if she were being watched and her senses were trying to warn her.

Still fearing that they were being followed by their enemies, she cast her gaze around the room until she found two unknown men in one corner who were glaring in her direction. Nay, on second thought, they were glaring straight at her and no one else.

The unfounded hatred in their eyes was extremely disconcerting. She looked about the inn at the other men who belonged to their group. Some were laughing. Some making ready to leave. Some were lounging on their benches, while others ate. None of them seemed to notice the suspicious-looking two men at all.

She hadn’t seen either one before. Perhaps they were townsmen or travelers who were new to Calais. But that still didn’t explain why they hated her.

Did she perchance remind them of someone?

She was relieved a few minutes later when the owner brought her the foodstuffs and she paid him for them. Wanting to get away from the men, who were still staring at her, she made her way back to her room, where she set the items down.

She had just poured herself a goblet of milk when someone knocked on her door. Assuming it was one of their party, she opened it to find the two men from below.

Her blood went cold, but she refused to let them see her panic. “Can I help you?”

They shoved her back into the room, then slammed the door shut.

Christian felt awful as he climbed the stairs to his room. Poor Agbert. He’d had a horrendous time in prison, but then, they all had. The worst part about being in the Brotherhood was facing others who were just coming out of their nightmare. There were times such as this when he wondered what it would be like to put the whole of it behind him and carry on free of the responsibility.

Unfortunately, he couldn’t. This was his lot in life.

But at least he now had Adara. The thought of her waiting in his room had somehow made the past hour more bearable.

“The men are ready to ride,” Ioan said as he came up the stairs behind him.

Christian nodded. “Knowing Adara, I’m sure we’re already packed as well. I just need to don my armor and I, too, will be ready.”

Ioan was about to leave him when they heard something shatter inside Christian’s room. A heartbeat later, Adara screamed.

Terror, panic, and anger descended on Christian as he swung open the door to find her in the room with two other men who were trying to hold her down.

“I’ll make you pay for that, bitch,” the one holding her said as he tore open her gown.

Christian flew across the room, ready to kill them both. He grabbed the one holding his wife and knocked him against the wall, then turned to knock the other one back.

But when the one who had touched her came back to swing at him, he lost all control. All he could see was the man ripping Adara’s gown, the terror on her face.

He slugged her assailant repeatedly, then grabbed his head and banged it against the floor until he felt Ioan pulling him back.

“Christian, stop! You’re going to kill him.”

Enraged beyond reason, he slammed the man’s head against the floor one last time, then turned on the other, who was pushing himself up from the floor. His lip was busted as he stared at Christian in disbelief.

“Go see to Adara,” Ioan snapped, pulling him away from the other attacker.

Needing to make sure she was all right, Christian went to her. She was huddled on the floor, weeping.

“Shhh,” he said soothingly as he pulled her into his arms. She looked up at him, her lips quivering, to show him her battered face.

It was more than he could stand. Rising, he went after her attackers again, only to find Ioan blocking his way.

“Get out of my way, Ioan, or I’ll thrash you, too. I mean it.”

Ioan refused to budge. “Let the sheriff handle this.”

“Why are you so angry?” the taller attacker asked. “You are one of us. ’Tis only fair we take a Saracen whore—”

Christian shoved Ioan away from him as he
lunged for the man and cut his words off with a vicious backhand. “That is my wife you speak of, you bastard. My
wife
you attacked.”

The color faded from the man’s face.

Suddenly Phantom was there, pulling him back as Ioan came forward.

“Let go of me!” Christian shouted. “I want justice.”

“I can’t let you hurt them, Christian,” Ioan said apologetically. “They are the ones who have just come back with Agbert and Dagger. They spent the past seven years in a Saracen prison.”

Still, he fought against Phantom’s hold. “It doesn’t give them the right to attack an innocent woman, and most especially not mine.”

“Nay, it doesn’t,” Ioan agreed. “I will see them into the sheriff’s custody.”

Far from appeased, Christian finally succeeded in shoving Phantom away from him to return to Adara’s side. Her tears were quiet and dignified and they tore through him like shards of glass, shredding his heart.

“I am so sorry, Adara,” he said, his eyes tearing up for the pain she’d suffered as he took her into his arms again. “I should have been here to protect you.”

“I’m just glad you came when you did,” she said, sniffling as she wrapped her arms around his neck and laid her head against his shoulder. Christian rose with her in his arms and carried her to the bed.

Phantom came forward with a wet cloth. “I should have been watching her, too. I knew Dagger had sent them ahead, I just thought they were at another inn. I had no idea they were here. Forgive me, Christian. I never meant to endanger her.”

“There’s nothing to forgive, Phantom. I am far more guilty of neglect than you are.”

Christian handed his purse to Phantom. “Go find her a new gown.”

Nodding, Phantom took the purse and handed him the cloth. “I’ll return as quickly as possible.”

“My thanks.”

Once he was alone with Adara, Christian laid her back on the bed so that he could examine her. Her cheek was swelling and her lip was split. There was also a clear outline of a man’s handprint against her throat where they had held her down.

He fought against the rage that demanded he go kill the men. “Did they rape you?”

“Nay,” she whispered. “You came in time.”

Relief poured through him as he wiped the blood from her lips, then pressed the cloth against her right eye, which was starting to swell. “I should have killed them.”

She covered his hand with hers. Her eyes were dark and filled with a forgiveness neither he nor her attackers deserved. “Nay, I wouldn’t see you arrested for such a crime. No real harm was done.”

Adara reached up to touch Christian’s face
while he tended her. Tenderness swept through her. She was so grateful that he’d found her in time. She’d been terrified when they started insulting and hitting her.

Even though she had done her best to fend them off, she’d been powerless to stop them. It made her wonder how many times her husband had experienced that awful feeling of helplessness as a boy. How many times had he suffered wounds much worse than hers and had no one there to ease them?

“I brought you bread to break your fast,” she said quietly.

“I will eat it shortly.”

She nodded. “How is Agbert doing?”

He gave her a stern glower. “You would ask after him while you are injured?”

“Aye, as would you in my place. I hope you gave him some serenity.”

He let out a tired breath as he turned the cloth over to let the cool side soothe her throbbing cheek. “He will be fine eventually.”

“Are there any who don’t heal?”

Christian’s throat tightened at her question—that she would be so compassionate, when any other lady of her stature would be demanding the lives of the men who had assaulted her.

It was something his mother would have done.

“Unfortunately, aye. There are always some who can’t adjust. Some kill themselves once they arrive home. A few have gone mad, and some,
such as the Scot, live in perpetual torment and seclusion from the world.”

She reached up to place her fingertips to his lips as she stared up at him with a warm, tender expression. “I wish you had come home to me so that I could have helped you.”

He pulled the cloth away from her face and stared at her for a hard second. “Had I known what was waiting for me, my lady, I would have.”

Adara’s heart soared at his words. It wasn’t an avowal of love, but it was enough to fill her with warmth.

Christian leaned forward and brushed a tender kiss across her brow. “If you like, I can tell Ioan to ride on ahead with the men.”

“Nay. I’m fit to ride.”

“Are you certain?”

She nodded.

Christian got up first, then helped her to her feet. As she set about straightening her mussed hair, he paced the floor, still struggling with his raw emotions.

He had actually attacked two men who had been through hell. Would have killed them had Ioan not been there.

Christian should be horrified over his actions. He wasn’t. In truth, all he felt was the rage inside that still wanted to cleave the men’s hearts from their bodies for touching Adara.

He was growing too attached to her. In spite of his efforts to keep himself immune to her wiles, it
wasn’t working. Slowly, bit by bit, she was weaving her way into his heart.

What was he going to do?

Someone knocked on the door.

“Enter,” he called.

Corryn rushed in. “I just heard what happened. Is Adara all right?”

He nodded as Corryn saw her and went to inspect her. “Did Christian arrive in time?”

“Aye,” Adara said quietly. “I suffered nothing more than a few blows. I shall be fine.”

Corryn shook her head. “Ioan should have let Christian have their heads. I would have.”

“Where did Ioan take them?” Christian asked.

“They were arrested for the deed.”

In truth, that was probably a worse punishment than any he could have meted out. After being locked up for so long, a stint in the sheriff’s cell would be debilitating to them.

A few minutes later, Phantom returned with a gown. “’Tis not fancy, but it will suffice.”

They left Adara alone to dress. Corryn ran off to wait with the men downstairs while Phantom and Christian waited in the hallway.

“If you want, I will go to the jail and kill them before we leave,” Phantom offered.

It was tempting, but not realistic. Not even Phantom was that talented. “You can’t do that.”

Phantom laughed evilly. “Trust me, I could get into their cell and have their throats slit and be out again before even they knew it.”

There were times when Phantom almost scared him. He didn’t know what disturbed him more, the fact that Phantom offered or the fact that he seemed so willing to spill their blood.

“Adara says to leave them be.”

Phantom shook his head as if he couldn’t believe what Christian had said. “She’s an incredible lady, isn’t she?”

Christian nodded. “Her strength amazes me.”

“Aye. She was always something to behold.”

There was a note in his tone that gave Christian pause. “You speak as if you knew her before.”

Phantom’s eyes turned dull. “I shall wait outside with the others.”

“Phantom?” Christian said as the man ran off.

Phantom didn’t pause.

Christian frowned after him. He would go and pursue this conversation, but didn’t want to leave Adara unguarded again.

There would be more time later to interrogate Phantom about this.

Irritated, he returned to the room where Adara was trying to tie the laces at her back. She was twisting and turning, like a squirrel trying to scratch an itch.

He smiled gently at the sight of her.

“You ever have trouble with this, don’t you?” he asked.

She straightened and shrugged nonchalantly. “’Tis why I have maidservants.”

After closing the distance between them, Christian laced the gown shut, then placed his chin on the top of her head. He inhaled her sweet scent as he pulled her back into his arms. Warmth and serenity crept through him, making him hard and aching to possess her.

She awakened something inside him. Something fierce and wild. Something that, in truth, scared him.

“You need to dress in your armor, my lord,” she said as she ran her hand down his forearm.

“I will.”

Adara pulled away reluctantly. “I’ll wait—”

“You will go nowhere alone.”

The anger in his tone was almost enough to irritate her, but she understood his alarm. Inclining her head to him, she helped him dress.

The mail was heavy, but as always, she helped him suit up, then tied the laces for him.

Christian paused as he saw her tiny hand on his chain mantle while she smoothed it down. How precious that hand had become to him.

Turning around, he cupped her face and offered her a gentle smile.

The smile she returned to him made his stomach flutter, his groin tight. He growled at the sight of her and wished that they had more time.

Taking her hand into his, he led it to his swollen shaft and pressed her open palm to him. “How I wish they weren’t waiting on us.”

Adara shivered at his needful tone and the feel of him in her hand. Her own body heated up, wanting to feel him skin to skin with her. “Aye, my lord. Would that we had more time.” She squeezed him playfully, causing him to let out an anguished moan.

He ground himself against her palm, letting her feel exactly how much he wanted to be with her.

“We’d best go,” he said, his voice ragged. “Otherwise they will be waiting an hour or more and, knowing Ioan, I am sure he would come to investigate, thereby causing his own murder when I kill him for interrupting.”