Return of the Warrior (20 page)

Christian had no doubt that Phantom would know all about that. “And you? How do you fit into this? Why did Selwyn try to kill you?”

“I may have been bastard born, but without you there to take the throne, I was the closest blood link to it. It was a chance Selwyn and Basilli decided they couldn’t take. Basilli had his men dress as Moors and then attack my dormitory.”

“As he attacked my monastery?”

“Aye. And before you ask the question of how I came to be in your prison…Selwyn sent me there to kill you.”

Christian was stunned by that. “What?”

He nodded. “After the death of my father, I was turned out by my mother, who feared what would befall her if anyone found me in her home. With
no other option, I became a thief and a hired dagger. One night, I had decided that the time had come to pay retribution for my father’s death. I snuck into Selwyn’s chambers intending to cut his throat as his men had cut mine. Unfortunately, they caught me and I was imprisoned. He tortured me for weeks, wanting to know who I had told about my father’s murder and his part in it. In the end, after I had lied and convinced him that I knew nothing and had tried to kill him only because someone had paid me to, he offered me a pardon from my crimes provided I kill you.”

“But you didn’t. Why?”

Phantom laughed bitterly. “I wouldn’t give Selwyn the satisfaction of having you slain. I knew we would escape eventually. I never had a doubt. And I figured that one of us would return at last and pay our debt to him in full.”

Now everything made sense. Phantom turning up all these years whenever Christian was in trouble. He’d always suspected that the man followed him.

Now he knew for certain and he finally knew why.

They were family.

“So that is why you have haunted me all these years.”

He nodded. “I wanted to make sure that you would live to take his coveted throne from him.” Phantom’s pale gaze bored into him. “My father was a good and decent man who loved me and my
mother the way your parents loved you. I don’t want to see one man destroy that and get away with it.”

“Neither do I.” Christian held his hand up before Phantom. “I hope that this means you will stay in the light, by my side, cousin. You have lived far too long in the darkness that he relegated you to.”

“I make no promises to that. I personally like the feel of shadows on my face. But I will stand by your side, Christian. Always.” He took his hand and squeezed it.

Christian pulled him into a quick hug, then released him. “Thank you, Phantom, for everything.”

He inclined his head to him.

Christian stepped away, then pulled the surcoat over his head and settled it into place over his armor. It was a perfect fit.

Belting his girdle around his waist, he started back for camp.

“Christian?”

He paused at Phantom’s call. “Aye?”

“You have been blessed with a good wife. Better than I think even you know. Don’t let the past blind you to the future you could have.”

“It’s not that easy, cousin.”

“I know. Believe me, I do. But you two have made great strides together. I have seen something inside you change with her presence and I would hate to see you cast that away.”

Phantom’s words confused him. “Why would you care, Phantom?”

“Because if a man as good as you doesn’t deserve a blessed life with a woman like her, then what hope is there for someone like me?”

With Phantom’s words ringing in his head, Christian paused as he entered his tent. Adara was already there, unpacking a few of their things, making their spartan tent more welcoming. But then, her presence alone accomplished that. There was truly nothing more soothing than the gentle visage of his wife doing the simplest of things.

As always, she was humming.

Her long black hair hung in an intricate design of braids woven with red ribbons that matched the red of her gown. Something about the style reminded him of a delicate rose. Her body bore no sign yet of their child. Still, he could just imagine what she would look like in a few weeks as her body grew to accommodate the new life. How even more lovely she would be to him.

In spite of what Phantom had said, Christian
didn’t think of himself as a particularly good man. He was just as guilty of sins and crimes as Phantom had been. How many men had fallen to his sword over the years? But he had always tried to live his life nobly. To honor his word and never fail his brothers-in-arms.

Just as he prayed he would never fail his wife and child…

Child.
That one word echoed through his soul. He would now be responsible for another life, one of his own making. That child would turn to him for advice and for care and protection in a way no one ever had before.

And that child would be devastated to find itself alone in the harsh world that had raised Christian.

What did he know of children? Not since his own boyhood had he been near one, and even then his association with other children had been sparse at best. He knew only that they smelled badly, cried loudly, and were oft grimy with sticky fingers and moist noses. Truly, they were a horror on earth.

“Christian?”

He focused his gaze to find Adara watching him. “Aye?”

“Are you well? You look uncertain.”

He was, but he would sooner die than ever let her know it. “Nay, I was only thinking of something Phantom said.” He crossed the floor to help her lay out their blankets. “It’s been a long day. You should rest.”

She paused to look up at him. “What of you?”

Her gentle brown eyes searched his, but it was the concern he saw there that touched him deep in his heart. Christian reached out to lay his hand against the flush of her cheek. The softness of her skin never failed to amaze or to warm him. She was a part of him in a way no one had ever been before. Deep. Integral.

He’d almost lost her this day. The rage and pain he’d felt still simmered inside him. He didn’t want to feel this. Didn’t want to know that one person held so much power over him that by simply leaving or dying she could utterly destroy him.

It was humbling.

And it was wonderful. Being with her…feeling her…there was nothing else like this. Her presence gave him strength and made him deliriously happy.

Adara covered his hand with hers. He watched her so intently that it made her throat tight. There was so much emotion in those blue eyes. So much love and adoration, and at the same time she saw his fear, his torment. How she wished she could take that from him.

All she could do was offer him whatever solace was humanly possible. Rising up on her tiptoes, she laid a gentle kiss to his well-shaped mouth.

She was completely unprepared for his reaction to her kiss. He crushed her to him with a groan as he raided her mouth. His tongue spiked against hers as if he wanted to completely devour her. The
ferocity of his passion left her breathless. He teased and nibbled her lips, before he deepened his kiss even more.

He pulled back to stare down at her with his eyes glazed and probing before he buried his lips against her neck. Adara hissed as chills spread over her while he loosened the laces for her gown.

She unbuckled his belt, then let it fall to the floor before she seized his surcoat and pulled it over his head. He removed his mail hauberk just as quickly.

Her heart hammering, Adara started unlacing his aketon.

“Bugger it,” he snarled. “I can’t wait.”

Adara frowned, not quite understanding until he unlaced his chausses and let them fall to the floor. He seized her then and pulled up the hem of her gown. Two heartbeats later, he pinned her to the stake in the center of the tent and was deep inside her.

Her head spinning, she wrapped one leg around his hips as he thrust himself into her over and over again. He was raw and fierce with his need, letting her know just how much he craved her touch.

Christian ground his teeth as the pleasure of her body assaulted and eased him. He needed this physical connection to her in a way that defied his best abilities to understand. She was his soul. A part of him that he had long ago forsaken.

In her arms, he found the sanctuary he’d been
searching for. But for how long could he stay here? Sooner or later, all men had to forsake sanctuary. It was the nature of the beast. Somehow it always turned on its master.

He pressed his cheek to hers and inhaled the fragrant scent of her dark hair. “You are mine,” he whispered against her ear as he thrust himself deep.

“I am yours, Christian,” she breathed. “I have always been yours.”

He pulled back to stare at her in wonderment as he eased the ache in his body with hers. Her face was creased by pleasure as she watched him carefully. All these years she had waited for him.

If only she’d come for him sooner.

Or maybe she shouldn’t have come for him at all. His indecision tore through him, and yet how could this be wrong? How could what he felt for her be the end of him? Surely something this confusing and wonderful had to be divinely inspired.

“I want you to stay with me, Adara. Always.”

She reached up to touch his lips. “I’m not the one who threatens to leave.”

Nay, she wasn’t. Christian drove himself in deep and held himself there so that he could feel the sweetness of her body wrapped around his, feel the warmth of her arms clutching him in the heat of this moment.

“I know nothing of this life you offer me, Adara. I know nothing of riches or ruling. Nothing of a woman’s love or her heart. I only know warfare and cruelty.”

Adara’s heart clenched at his whispered, grief-laden words, but it was the tormented look in his eyes that seared her.

“I know not how to be your king…”

She held her breath as he stayed completely still, his body still inside hers. She expected him to withdraw, expected him to run away from her.

Instead, he continued to stare at her as he lifted his hand to touch her cheek. “But God help me, I want to be your husband. I want nothing more than to see you in my bed every night before I lay myself down to sleep.”

She choked as joy consumed her. She took his hand into hers and kissed his callused fingers. “I love you, Christian. I will never leave you.”

He closed his eyes as if to savor her words. She ached to hear him repeat loving words back to her, but he didn’t. Still, he had committed himself to her. It was more than he’d ever done before.

They had come far these weeks past. Not just in distance, they had traveled leagues in their relationship. Mayhap by the time they reached Taagaria, he would be ready to travel that last step that would bring him completely into the shelter of her heart.

He started moving against her again, swift and strong. Adara held him close as she let his strength wash over her. There was nothing she wanted more than to have her husband in her arms.

To have and to hold…

Aye, that was what she wanted. Her heart aching for it, she came, crying out his name.

Christian kissed her gently as he felt her body spasm. His breathing ragged, he joined her in paradise. His body shook from the force of his ecstasy. Adara alone had the ability to sate him on this level. To make him feel complete and wanted.

“What have you done to me, my lady?” he whispered as he nuzzled his face against hers. The softness of her…the smell of her flesh…

She weakened and strengthened him.

“I seek only to make you happy, my lord.”

He smiled, then kissed her soundly. “You definitely do that.”

Reluctantly, he withdrew himself from her and let her gown settle back around her body.

Adara pressed her lips together as her gaze dipped to take in the length of him. Against her will, she started laughing.

Christian frowned. “What has possessed you?”

“The sight of you,” she said as she realized that in his haste to take her, he still wore his unlaced aketon. His mail chausses had fallen to his ankles, but were held to his knees by his boots. It was quite comical, really, especially given the fact that her husband normally looked so composed and somber.

Christian glanced down and joined her laughter. “I fear my rose has turned me into a buffoon to match her fool.”

“Your rose?”

“Aye,” he said, pulling his chausses back up,
then tying them at his waist. “There is no other word to better describe your prickly beauty.”

She sensed he was teasing her and she enjoyed the novelty of it. “Prickly?”

He nodded. “You do have a surly nature about yourself. Stubborn, too.”

The light in his pale eyes was so playful that she couldn’t resist teasing him back. “Why, sir, I do believe you have me confused with you.”

“Do I?” He tried to pull her close.

Adara refused. She traced the line of his jaw with her fingernail, letting it gently scrape his whiskers. “Aye. You are the only prickly thing I see in this tent.”

The smile on his face warmed her. “You didn’t mind my prickliness a moment ago.”

He pulled her flush to his chest. Adara sighed involuntarily at the hard feel of him. There was something about Christian that was overwhelmingly masculine. The manly scent of his skin, his sleek muscles. He was all sinewy strength.

His hungry gaze dipped to her lips before he took possession of her mouth again. Adara surrendered herself to him, content to taste the only man she’d ever wanted. His tongue teased hers while she tasted his warm passion. At times like this, she knew he loved her even if he didn’t say the words. It was only in the darkness that she doubted him.

He said he would stay with her, but she wasn’t
so sure. At night he oft left her so that he could visit with Ioan and the others. It was then that she saw her husband’s true nature and his ease with the men.

He was a soldier at heart.

How long could such a man be content with home and hearth? The last thing she wanted was to make him miserable. Christian meant everything to her. What good would it do to keep him if he died in captivity?

He pulled back from his kiss with a frown. “Is something amiss?”

“Nay,” she said sweetly. “I was only trying to imagine what tomorrow might bring our way.”

Christian tightened his hold on her as his own doubts assailed him. “Let us not think on that. Tomorrow will come no matter what we plan. Tonight I’ve no wish to think of it. I only want to feel you with me.”

She kissed his hand, then released him. “Very well, all my thoughts are banished.”

If only his were. Now that she had broached the matter, his thoughts spun with concerns.

But the most immediate was the one that wanted him to abandon everything in the world for the woman in his arms.

However, it was time to lay aside his fears. His decision was made and there was no choice except to march forward with it and trust that fate would see him through.

Adara was his wife…

Nay, Adara was his life.
Lives are taken every day
…

The ominous voice in his head was haunting. It was debilitating. He’d delivered enough Last Rites to know firsthand how fragile life was. They had men out to kill them and she was pregnant. Women died every day of childbirth.

A man could go mad with such thoughts.

Christian laughed in spite of himself.

Adara scowled at him. “What has possessed you?”

“I am merely thinking that Lutian must have been quite sane until the day he fell at your feet. Indeed, I wonder how soon before I find myself his intellectual equal.”

She bristled under his humor. “Are you saying I made him daft?”

“Nay, I say only that you are making me lose all sense whenever you are near.”

“Addled you, have I?”

“Completely.”

She placed a kiss to his cheek. “And you have captured me, Christian.”

Christian smiled at that as she excused herself for a few moments to attend her needs. “I love you, Adara,” he said beneath his breath.

He only wished he could find the courage to say it aloud to her face without the fear that something would then come along and steal her away from him.