Revive (Storm MC #3) (19 page)

Madison laughed.  “Yeah, she really is.  And to think she ended up with a biker like Scott; the least romantic man you could find.”

“It’s certainly a strange combination, but it works for them, doesn’t it.” 

“Possibly he tames the romantic side of her, tames those unrealistic expectations she might have, and she brings out the tiny bit of romance he has in him.”  She shrugged.  “I’ve really got no idea, but I’m glad they found each other.”

We fell silent, lost in our own thoughts.  I was contemplating Harlow and Scott; it had certainly shocked the hell out of me when he’d pursued her, but she had been the best thing for him.  And he had changed in subtle ways.  Perhaps that was what Harlow had meant; people change each other without even meaning to. 

I was snapped out of my thoughts when Madison passed me a pumpkin and some potatoes.  “You can be in charge of getting those ready.”

I took them off her.  “What’s for dinner?”

“Roast lamb and vegies.  And I’m making cheesecake for dessert.”

“Did I hear the word cheesecake?” J asked as he joined us. 

“Yeah, baby, I’m making that chocolate one you like,” Madison told him, giving him a huge smile.

He dropped a quick kiss on her lips before taking a swig of his beer.  “That’s why I married you, woman.”  He grinned at her.  “That and your other assets.”

“Yeah, yeah, J.  We all know why you really married me.”

“And why’s that?”  He leant against the kitchen counter, waiting for her answer, still grinning like an idiot.

“Because you’re a very smart man who knew I was the best thing to ever happen to him.”

He pushed off the counter and leant his face down to give her a longer, deeper kiss.  “Can’t argue with that, baby,” he murmured before adding, “Your surprise guest has arrived, by the way.”

“Oh my God, why didn’t you say something?” Madison shrieked, slapping him away from her, and running out to the lounge room.

I was intrigued to see who it was so I followed her out.  The sight that greeted me punched me in the chest, and threatened to suck all the happiness out of me.

Serena.

Madison’s best friend, Serena, was in the lounge room.  And she was all over Nash.  And Nash wasn’t doing anything to stop her.  In fact, he had his arms around her, his hands dangerously close to her ass.  He was listening intently while she whispered something in his ear.  Whatever she said was funny, and he roared with laughter just before she moved her face away from his and laughed with him.  My gaze zeroed in on her hand that was placed across his chest; almost in a possessive manner.

Madison reached them and pulled Serena out of Nash’s arms so she could hug her.  “You finally made it!” she exclaimed.

“Yeah, chica, I finally got here,” Serena replied, squeezing Madison back.

They finally let each other go, and Serena passed her car keys to Nash.  “Can you bring my bags in, sexy?” she asked him, and I was stunned when he grinned at her and nodded.  I watched him walk outside, my heart icing over.

I knew it was a stupid reaction, but I couldn’t control it.  Jealousy tore through me at the sight of them together.  I’d seen them together at Madison’s wedding and presumed they hooked up afterwards.  The chemistry between them was clear for all to see. 

“How long you staying for?” Nash asked as he came back in with two bags.  “Your car is fuckin’ loaded, babe.  Looks like you’re moving in.”

Serena and Madison blasted megawatt smiles in unison.  “I
am
moving in!” Serena announced delivering another blow to me. 

Nash’s face lit up, and J grumbled, “Fucking hell, why did I ever agree to this?”

Serena poked her tongue at him.  “Oh hush, biker boy.”  Then she looked at Nash, and said, “Maybe I’ll move in with Nash instead.  He wouldn’t whine like a school girl about having me.”

Laughter erupted from everyone; everyone except me.  I stilled, waiting to see where this would all end up.  Nash’s eyes found mine, and my heart began beating faster in anticipation of what he would say or do.  I hated this; it was exactly why I didn’t do relationships.  The not knowing where you stood with someone sucked.  This afternoon, I thought I knew where we were at, but now that was all up in the air as far as I was concerned.  And that it all rested with Nash paralysed me.

My gut churned with the jealousy I desperately didn’t want to feel while I waited for Nash to make his move.  He smiled at me before saying something to Serena.  She listened intently to what he said.  His gaze was focused on me while he spoke and when he’d finished talking, her gaze followed his until she found me.  She smiled, and then smacked him on the back, propelling him in my direction. 

He didn’t need much propelling though, he was striding towards me with determination.  When he reached me, he grabbed me by the arm and pulled me along as he kept walking into the kitchen.

“Talk to me, sweet thing.  What’s going through that mind of yours?” he asked when we were alone. 

Nerves gripped me.  I didn’t want to admit my jealousy to him.  God, we’d only been sleeping together for a week, and it wasn’t like we’d made any promises to each other.  In fact, I was sure Nash came with a warning that read ‘no promises will ever be made to any woman’.  And even though he’d told me he felt something for me, I wasn’t delusional; men were fickle creatures and he could change his mind at any moment. 

Here he was though, looking at me with what looked like worry, and he managed to coax the truth out of me.  “It’s not pretty, Nash.  You sure you want to know?”

He chuckled.  “Baby, none of the shit in my mind is ever pretty.  I can cope with ugly; we’re old friends.”

I blew out a breath, and pushed through my fear.  He could do what he would with it; at least I’d know where I stood and there would be no more worrying and wondering.  “It’s obvious that you and Serena shared something at J’s wedding, and still have some kind of connection.  I won’t bullshit you; I was jealous when I saw her all over you.”

“Fuck, Velvet, you amaze me.”

I frowned.  “Is that a good thing or a bad thing?”

He smiled, and traced his thumb over my cheek.  “It’s a really fuckin’ good thing, sweetheart.”

Impatience circled me.  “Okay, so I’m glad it’s a really fuckin’ good thing, but can you tell me why?”

“I haven’t dated a lot of women - ” he stopped when I fixed him with a ‘you’re kidding’ look.  “Baby, I won’t lie, I’ve slept with a fuckload of women, but I haven’t dated many.  The few I dated, were jealous bitches and never failed to accuse me of shit and argue with me every fuckin’ time they were jealous.  We spent more of our time together arguing instead of loving, so for you to have a rational conversation with me about it fuckin’ amazes me.”

“So, continuing this rational conversation, where are you at with Serena?”

Nash looked pissed, and I figured I’d said something wrong.  He threw me off when her asked, “He really did a number on you, didn’t he?”

I instinctively knew that he was referring to James.  “Why do you say that?”

“Because I told you last week that I wanted to see where this went for us, that I feel something for you.  But at the first hurdle, you assume that I’m out.  I’ve watched my mother and sister get dragged down by men, watched them struggle with doubt about themselves.  That doubt was put there by those men, and I see that same doubt in you, baby.  And I fuckin’ hate it.”

I had to stop my mouth from falling open.  Seriously, this man was shocking the shit out of me.  Repeatedly.  I’d never met a man so in tune with my feelings; a man so perceptive, and willing to get it all out there in the open.  Maybe there really was a chance at something here. 

“Yes, he did a number on me,” I admitted.  “He shredded my self belief and then he kicked me out with nothing to my name, and even less to my self worth.  I’ve spent years building myself back up, Nash, and I honestly thought I was over it, but being with you has brought my insecurities out.”

“I can see that, and I want to fix it.  I don’t want you to have any doubt about this shit.  As far as Serena is concerned, yeah we had sex, but that’s all it was.  She and I are too alike to ever work, and to be completely honest, I’m not interested.  And I doubt she is either.  We kept in touch but just as friends so you have to trust me on that one.  Can you do that?”

I trusted Nash implicitly.  I had no idea why, but I did.  “Yes, I trust you.”  My voice was certain. I wanted to give that to him; I sensed he needed that.

“Thank you.  Now, about those insecurities of yours... I’m not interested in anyone else.  I only want you, Velvet.  I haven’t been interested in a relationship with anyone for ten years, baby, so when I tell you that I want one with you, that should tell you how serious I am about this.”

My belly fluttered.  I tried to speak, but nothing came out.  He’d completely flabbergasted me.  He knew it, and curled his arm around my waist, and pulled me close.  His lips swept across mine softly before he asked, “Are we on the same page, sweet thing?”

Still at a loss for words, I whispered, “Yes.”

It was enough for him.  He smiled and nodded.  “Thank fuck for that.”

***

L
ater that night, after he’d blown my world with his mad sex skills, I curled up next to him in his bed.  I snuggled into his chest and he put his arm around me, letting his fingers trail up and down my back. 

“Can I ask you something?” he said, a serious tone to his voice.

“You can ask me anything,” I said because I was fast getting to the point where I would trust him with everything.

“Are you close to your father?”

Shit, that question had come out of left field.  “No, I don’t have anything to do with him.”

“Tell me about him, sweetheart.”  His fingers continued to caress my skin, loving me with their touch; making me feel safe with him.

“He’s a cheating, lying criminal who never cared about my mother or me and my sister.”  In my mind, that covered everything he needed to know about my father.

Nash wanted to know more though.  “He cheated on your mother?”

“Repeatedly.  One of my earliest memories is of my father with another woman on our couch.  Turned out she was a friend of my mothers, and stayed over one night after a party.  My father screwed her while my mother was asleep upstairs.”

“Are they still together?”

“God, no!  She left him when he went to prison the first time about ten years ago.”

Nash was taking this all in, and I loved that he was interested to know about my family.  “Where is he now, babe?”

“He’s in prison again.  This time he’ll be in there for awhile because he got mixed up in some bank robberies and they assaulted some of the security guards.”  My jaw hurt from clenching it and the first stirrings of a headache surfaced.  Talking about my father always upset me.

“So, it’s just been you, your mother and sister for awhile now?”

I bit my lip, not wanting to answer this question.  But I had to be honest with him; he’d been honest with me about his stuff so far, it was only fair.  “I walked away from my family when I was twenty.  Growing up, I’d been embarrassed by them.  Kids at school used to pick on me about my white trash family because it was common knowledge what a lowlife my father was.  When I got the marks at school to be offered a scholarship to university, I took it and ran.”

Most people were stunned when they discovered I’d studied at uni, but Nash didn’t blink at it.  He simply asked, “What did you study?”

“Law.”

“You’re a lawyer?”

I made a habit not to carry bitterness about my past actions, but this was the one area in my life I struggled not to be bitter about.  “No, I never finished the degree.  I fell in love and gave it all up.”

He was incredulous.  “You gave it up for James?”

“Yes.  He was everything I never was, and he wooed me with all that glitters.”  It was painful to admit that I’d fallen for him and what I thought a life with him would mean.

“I just don’t see it, babe.  He’s an asshole.  And the Velvet I know doesn’t give a shit about money.”  He was struggling to believe me, and I liked that.  I liked that he didn’t see me as that person because she was shallow, empty woman.

“Nash, I’ve changed a lot since then, but back when I met James, I would have done anything to escape my background.  I thought that I could change everything about me and my life, and it would make me happy.  When he asked me to be his wife, I honestly thought he was everything I’d ever wanted.  And I didn’t have to think twice when he suggested I give up my studies to concentrate on building a family with him.  I’m just lucky that my mum and sister welcomed me back with open arms when I finally walked away from him.”

Something shifted across Nash’s face and I felt his body tense.  His voice was gruff when he asked me, “You wanted kids with him?”

My heart ached dredging this up.  “Yes,” I whispered, “It was all I ever wanted.  The idea of creating my own family that I could love and give everything to that I never had, that was what kept me going some days.”

Nash stopped caressing my back.  His hand stilled as he asked, “What happened, sweetheart?”

I swallowed, the tightness in my throat making it hard.  I raised my eyes to look at his face.  The concern I found there reached out and touched me lovingly.  In that moment, I fell a little more.  “I fell pregnant pretty much straight away but I miscarried.  And James kept getting me pregnant only to lose the baby each time.  Falling pregnant was never hard, but I just couldn’t carry a baby to term.  With every baby lost, James became more of an asshole and chipped away a little more of my self belief each day.  Until the day he decided I was useless to him, and he erased me from his life.”  My voice caught and I held back a sob.  It wasn’t the memories of James that threatened tears; I mourned my lost babies.  When the one thing you want in life is given but then ripped from you, over and over, it causes wounds that never truly heal. 

Nash moved to lay over me.  He held himself just above me, his powerful frame rigid, his muscles flexing.  His eyes held mine for a moment, and then he shifted to lie on his side, resting on his elbow.  He reached out and cradled my cheek with his hand, letting his thumb rub gently over my skin.  “In my experience, it’s the ones we love the most who have the ability to crush us.  They have the fuckin’ ability to rip our hearts out and shred them until we’re left broken and hopeless.  And then life has a way of trampling us even more when we’re down.  I’m in fuckin’ awe of you, baby.  You took that shit that happened to you, all of it, and you said to fuck with it.  And you’ve built your life into something good.  In fuckin’ spite of all those assholes.”