Revive (Storm MC #3) (23 page)

When I got to the kitchen, I didn’t give him a chance to say anything; I spoke first.  “If you’ve come to keep arguing, I’m not interested.  I don’t want to fight anymore, Nash.”

“I do trust you, Velvet,” he started, his voice rough, not at all what I was expecting.  The anger I thought he was projecting was something else instead.  There was almost a brokenness to it; to him.  My heart listened closely while he kept talking, because I was sure he was about to crack himself wide open for me.  “I’m fucked up though, where this shit’s concerned, and I find it hard to trust.”

His voice cracked on his last word, and he stopped talking.  His eyes frantically sought mine; searching for what, I wasn’t sure, but I sensed his desperate need for me to wait patiently for him to get this all out. 

So, I waited.

His hand pushed through his hair, and he blew out a long breath.  “I was married.  Her name was Gabriella.  We met when I was twenty, back when I didn’t have a clue.  I would have done anything for her.  I married her and planned a long fuckin’ life with her, but she threw it all away when she cheated on me.  And not just once.”  He placed his hands on his hips, and bent slightly forward, expelling more long breaths.  It was like he couldn’t catch his breath; almost like he’d just run a fast race and was struggling.  I realised that’s exactly what was happening; he definitely was struggling for breath.

I placed my hand on his back, and said, “Nash, you need to focus on your breathing.  Count your breaths.”

He did as I said, and began taking longer breaths.  I counted them in my head as he took them, more out of habit than anything.  Memories of my mother’s experience with this flooded my mind.  I hated watching him go through this just as much as I’d hated watching her.  Watching someone struggle through anxiety made you feel useless and desperate; desperate to be able to take it all from them and carry their burden.  But you fucking couldn’t and that was the bitch of it all. 

The house was silent apart from Nash’s breathing.  I welcomed the silence; it allowed me the space to think.  My anger dulled as the pain spilled from him.  It was in this moment I realised how broken he was.  He hadn’t done the work to move past this hurt, and I wondered how long he’d been carrying it.

He was starting to get his breathing under control, and straightened.  His eyes found mine.  They were wary. 

I gave him a small smile, and reached for his hand.  “How long ago was this?” I asked, softly.

His chest heaved again, but he maintained his breathing.  “Ten years ago.”

I didn’t want to rush him, so I squeezed his hand, and waited for a moment before saying, “Tell me about her, Nash.”

He stared at me, and all I could see was his damaged soul.  But his eyes were reaching for me; he needed me.  I gently guided him to sit at the table, and prodded him to talk again.  “What was Gabriella like?”

His hands fidgeted on the table, and he stared at them for awhile before finally opening up.  “She was fun, spontaneous, up for anything.  She was everything I wasn't back then.”  He paused, and looked at me.  I was stunned by what he’d just said, and he must have been able to read that on my face.  “You might find it hard to believe, but back then, I was the responsible one.  Growing up, I had to be.  My father left when I was twelve, and my mother was pregnant with Carla.  Jamison and I helped run the house and raise the girls during our teens while Mum was working two jobs making ends meet.  I left school when I was fifteen to take on a mechanic apprenticeship to help her with the bills.  So yeah, I had to be responsible and organised.  When I met Gabriella, I was working as a mechanic, and desperately wanted her to be a part of my life.  She made me feel alive again after all the shit I had to deal with at home.”

“What do you mean by that?” I asked, wanting to keep him talking, and wanting to know more about his life.

“Dad never had anything to do with us after he left; not one fuckin’ word.  Still hasn’t to this day.  Erika was ten when he left, and Carla never knew him.”  His eyes blazed with anger now.  “He fucked them up.  Erika got into all kinds of shit; boys, alcohol, drugs, skipping school.  You name it, she fuckin’ did it.  All she wanted was a father who fuckin’ cared.  God help him if I ever find him.”

“So you were helping your Mum deal with all this?” 

“Yeah, Jamison and I tried to help.  We spent nights trying to track Erika down, nights trying to keep her away from the parties, nights at the fuckin’ hospital while they dealt with the shit she’d put in her body.  Mum was wrecked; physically and mentally.”  He stopped, and pierced me with his gaze.  “The whole thing was fucked up.” 

“You wouldn’t know it now; your family was amazing when I met them.”

He gave me a tight smile.  “It’s been a long fuckin’ road to get there.”

My heart was hurting for what he’d been through; for what he’d missed out on in life.  “And Gabriella?”

His words cracked my heart a little bit more.  “I fell hard for her; hard and fast.  I’d fucked around with a lot of chicks before her, but she was different.  She made me want more.  I chased the shit out of her.  She was all I wanted, and I felt like the luckiest bastard alive when she said she would marry me.  Problem was, she didn’t have a fuckin’ clue what loyalty was.”

“How long were you married for?”

This question seemed to rattle him, but he kept talking.  “I was with her for five years, three of those we were married.”

He stopped talking and I sensed a change in him.  It was like he’d put the wall back up and wasn’t going to talk anymore.  Suddenly, he stood, and began pacing the room.

I stood and moved towards him.  “Nash, what - ”   

He cut me off, his voice rough again.  “Velvet, I can’t do this with you if we don’t have total honesty.  I’m not saying you haven’t been honest with me; I’m just telling you what I need.  And I’m not trying to control you when I tell you I don’t want you flirting with the boys.  What I am telling you though, is that I can’t be in a relationship with someone who does that.”

The vulnerability in his words touched me.  Nash had a way of doing that in the most unexpected moments.  He laid his heart out for me, and I had no intention of trampling it.  I would happily give him what he needed, and although I regretted the fight we’d had to have to get to this point, I was also grateful for it because it had forced him to open up.

I nodded.  “I hear you, Nash.  And I understand what you’re saying.”

The look he pinned me with revealed his need.  “Can you give that to me?”  He expelled a ragged breath, and I watched as his shoulders slumped a little.

I was close enough now to touch him, and I placed my hand on his cheek.  Softly.  Lovingly.  I whispered, “Yes, I can give you that, baby.”

His chest heaved once again, and he curled an arm around my waist.  Pulling me into his arms, he pressed a long kiss to my forehead before tightening his hold on me.  I lost track of how long we stayed like that.  It was time we needed to reconnect after everything that had been said. 

When we finally pulled apart, he murmured, “I’m sorry, baby.”

I looked up into his eyes.  The anger was gone, but there was still something there.  I wasn’t completely sure, but I sensed he had more to tell.  He’d shut down towards the end there, but I wasn’t going to push him anymore tonight.  I whispered, “Me too.”

He bent his lips to mine, and kissed me.  It was a gentle kiss, but I felt his desire tangled in with the softness.  I felt his need too; it matched mine.  Our lips and tongues slowly explored each other; there was no rushing, no wild frenzy.  There was urgency though.  Our bodies pressed together, and we clung to each other while we drew the kiss out.  I didn’t want it to end; Nash was whispering sweet nothings through this kiss.  And for a man who didn’t do hearts and flowers, I knew it meant something.

When his lips left mine to trail kisses along my jaw and down my neck, I tilted my head to the side to accept everything he wanted to give me.  His hands moved to the bottom of my t-shirt and he slowly removed it, his eyes firmly focused on my chest.  He dropped my shirt on the floor and bent his mouth to my nipple.  When his tongue circled it and he began sucking, I moaned, and moved my hand to the back of his head to hold him there.  He lavished attention on both my breasts, causing my whole body to light up with desire. 

When he’d finished, he looked up at me, and murmured, “I’m a lucky man, sweet thing.”

“We’re both lucky, Nash,” I said.

“Fuck, I need to get you under me, baby,” he growled.

He didn’t wait for a response, he scooped me up into his arms and walked us into my bedroom.  My body sung with desire and anticipation in a way it never had for anyone else.  He placed me on the bed, and I watched as he removed his clothes.  His muscles always drove me wild, especially when they flexed while he undressed.

Once his clothes were off, he grabbed a condom out of his wallet and put it on, watching me while he did this.  My tummy fluttered as he watched me; Nash’s attention on me always had this effect.  It only intensified when he joined me on the bed and removed my panties.  And when his tongue licked my clit a second later, my eyes squeezed shut as I let the pleasure take over.  I was no longer in control of my of body; Nash had complete control now.

Strong hands slid under my ass, gripping me while he kissed my pussy.  His soft kisses slowly turned demanding, and he began licking and sucking, working both of us up.  The growls coming from him were as much a turn on as his mouth.  Knowing he wanted me as much as I wanted him caused both my body and my heart to pulse in ecstasy. 

He brought me to the edge.  I was writhing under him, my hand clawing at his hair, and when I cried out his name, he pulled his mouth away and let go of me.  His glazed stare sent a shiver of lust through my body, and I reached for him.  “I need you in me, now,” I begged.

Nash wasn’t a man who needed to be told twice.  He moved fast, positioning himself over me.  But he didn’t enter me straight away.  Instead, he rubbed his thumb along my jaw, watching me with that intensity that was all Nash.  “I want you, Velvet,” he rasped.

I stroked his arm, my touch gentle, and whispered, “I’m all yours, Nash.”  My legs wrapped around him as I said this, trying to hurry him.

He shook his head.  “No, baby, I want you in my life, not just in my bed.  I don’t want to fuck around with this anymore.”  He moved his face closer, his eyes burning into mine, his voice rough and demanding when he said,  “I need to know that you’re mine.”

Time slowed, and my entire world became Nash in that moment.  I saw only him, felt only him, heard only him.  He was asking me for everything, and I was going to give it to him.  After years of pushing men away, pushing my need to be loved away, I was finally going to let it in.  I moved my hands to hold his face, and I nodded.  “I’m yours Nash, only yours.”

A look crossed his face; relief perhaps.  And then he pushed inside me.  Slowly, all the way.  He didn’t pull out, just let himself settle in me.  “Fuck, baby, I love being inside you,” he groaned.

I tightened my legs around him, and squeezed his cock.  He hissed, and pulled out.  I waited for him to thrust in again but he didn’t.  He stilled, and dipped his head to kiss me.  It was another gentle kiss.  Nash was showing me a softness I’d never seen from him before; it was a side to him I could get used to.  But I knew it wasn’t something I would see very often, so I soaked it all in, letting his gentleness wash over me.  I let him love me in this moment.  It was too early in our relationship for words of love, and besides, I figured Nash wasn’t the kind of man to make declarations like that easily, but I knew in my soul that this was his way of cherishing me.

As his lips left mine, he thrust inside me again.  This time, he began a slow rhythm of thrusting in and out.  I let him set the pace, enjoying the sensations his slow movements were giving me.

“Nash,” I moaned his name as I felt my orgasm building.

He was holding himself above me, watching me while he moved us towards our release.  At the sound of his name, he grunted, and thrust harder.  “Fuck,” he muttered, a look of determination on his face.  “I fuckin’ love it when you say my name.”

I heard him, but I didn’t have it in me to say anything.  My mind could only focus on the pleasure he was giving me.  Instead of using words, I used my body to show him what I was feeling.  I clung to him tighter, and dug my fingernails into his back.

My nails set him off like they always did.  He pulled out of me and then thrust hard and fast; the slow was gone, and the Nash I craved was back.  Picking up his pace, he fucked me with a relentless intensity.  I shut my eyes as I spiralled into the orgasm I’d been chasing.  When I finally came, I squeezed my arms, legs, and pussy; taking every last drop of bliss he was giving me. 

And then he came.  He rammed into me one last time, and roared, “Fuck!”  Losing himself in it, his legs and back tensed as he stilled.  His head dropped and I moved my hands to hold the back of his neck, gently stroking him there.  I loved this time after he came; I felt so close to him in that moment. 

Once he’d recovered, he pushed off me, and left to dispose of the condom.  I curled up on my side while I waited for him to return.  Sleep was already claiming me, and I closed my eyes, savouring the thrill from everything Nash had just given me.

The bed dipped, and I opened my eyes to find him settling in next to me.  I ran my gaze over his powerful body, and unable to help myself, reached out and touched his chest.  He laid on his back and reached for me, positioning his arm underneath my head and tucked me into his side. 

Kissing me on my head, he whispered, “Go to sleep, baby.”

I smiled, but he didn’t see it.  I hoped he could sense it though. 

My last thought before I fell into a deep and peaceful slumber was that the journey ahead didn’t matter, so long as I had Nash by my side.

Broken - Seether

N
ash

Fuck, I was a greedy bastard.

I’d just had Velvet’s mouth and pussy around my cock, and as I watched her walk into the bathroom, I decided I wanted her again.