“I can help in this body
where my old one couldn’t-”
“You’re wearing my charge’s body!” she shrieked and choked on a sob. “Did you not think what it would do to me to see my dead charge walking around, constantly being reminded of how I failed at the one thing I was put on this Earth to do?”
He blanched a little and I felt right about that. Shame on Simon for being so selfish and only thinking about himself.
“I didn’t think, no. I just reacted. I knew that I could do more good in a body that was
n't
hinder
ing me like the other one and-"
The crack of her hand across his cheek was loud. He looked at her blankly, as if he understood that he deserved it. “I hope that one day I can forgive you for this, Simon.”
“I hope that as well. I’m sorry, sister. This decision was for the good of all, and I sacrificed the good of the one. I’m sorry to have caused you pain.”
“I understand,” she said sincerely. She turned and took in the room. “Please try your hardest to call him Simon and not…Josh.” She gulped.
We nodded and she went to sit on the couch, burying her face in a wad of tissues. Could she not see that Josh sacrificed himself for her because he was fond
of her? Because he cared about her? I for one was proud of him. Racine would grow to be one day, too.
"All right," Miguel drawled and stepped up to the front of the room beside Jeff. "We know they're coming. We need to buck up and push all this trivial crap to the side and figure out what to do."
"Yes," Jeff and Simon agreed in unison. Jeff scowled at Simon, but looked back to Miguel. "Outside perimeter?"
he began his plotting and it seemed that Merrick and my reunion would just have to wait.
"Might as well," he agreed with a sigh.
"No point in waiting
down
low
. They know we're here." He grinned evilly. "May as well meet them and gain the upper hand. They don't know that
we
know they're coming."
Cain nodded and said,
"Ok, let's pull the old 'w
omen and children in the cellar' bit and get this thing started."
"Now hold on a minute!" Lillian said.
"Do not argue with me on this one, L," he growled. "Really? You almost died yesterday or may have
even
actually
died and you want me to let you out there for another try at it? No."
She gulped
and to my surprise, nodded. "All right
."
He blinked his own surprise. "Ok, good." He slowly turned back to Jeff and Miguel. "Ambush style. Let's go."
"Sounds perfect," Miguel said and winked at Rylee, who growled at him, as he made his way to the kitchen. "I'll grab some grenades."
Cain and Lillian began
their goodbyes and that started the flood for them all. I refused to look at Merrick. I'd just gotten him back
minutes ago
and now he was being put right back out there on the front lines again. It seemed childish to pretend that
this wasn't about to go down, but I just couldn't force my chin to move his direction.
But he knew what I was doing and took my stubborn chin in his hand. My Merrick looked at me knowing
ly and gave me a sad, small
smile
. "I'm so sorry, honey. I wish…Well, y
ou know what I wish."
"I wish that, too. It's ok. I'm used to the whole song and dance
by
now." His smile grew. "You go fight while I stay and pine for you like the lovesick puppy
that
I am."
"That sounds great actually."
"It sounds like crap," I argued making him laugh out loud. He framed my stupid little useless
wet
cheeks in his hands and I tried to steady my quivering lip.
"I love you more than I can ever get to you to understand
,
and I'm sorry that we can't have our little reunion right now." He reached forward and bit my bottom lip gently. He made a growly noise in his throat. "Mmm, I'd love nothing more
than to drag you to our room
right now
…caveman style." I laughed. That was totally something Cain would sa
y. "But I'll have to settle for
this until later."
He slammed his mouth to mine and I felt the pleasurable hum all the way to the ends of my hair. I let my arm
s
circle his neck and bring him
closer to me. His hands pawed a
nd pulled me so close and tight that
it was hard to breath
e
.
Not that I was breathing anyway. I was too busy being breathless.
When my fin
gers weaved their way through his
hair, he pulled back with a groan, grabbing my hands gently and pulling them to his mouth. He kissed them and exhaled his frustration in a warm puff against my finge
rs. "You can't do that
," he chastised. "I'll never leave if you do."
I made mock pout lips which caused him to laugh
in a rumble.
"Can't you stop being adorable for just two seconds?" he said wryly. He kissed my forehead, then my cheek, then my lips. He sat there
with them pressed to mine
, just
absorbing and not moving, before
pulling
away
with a puckering sound.
I sniffed once more and let him set me to my feet
. This was it. No more stalling.
"I love you, Finch."
"I love you, Sherry." I jolted a little. He hardly ever called me Sherry anymore…unless I was in trouble. It was always baby or honey or gorgeous. He laughed at my expression. "I miss saying your name sometimes. I know you hate it, but I love it. Your
mother
may not have named you Sherry for the right reasons, but I don't care. You're my Sherry."
"What do you mean 'the right reasons'?"
His lips twisted a little. "Sh
e ref
used all the girl names your father
suggested. And on the way to the hospital she passed a graveyard at a stoplight. She picked the first female name she could find and…there you have it."
"What?" I said, disgusted. "How do you even know that? Danny didn't come along until later."
"She
confessed it to your father once, when Danny was born. Your father was upset that he couldn't help name either of you and wondered where she got the nam
es from. You were a graveyard, D
anny was a burger place." I gave him a 'Huh?'
look. "Danny Boy's Burgers on Fifth S
treet. True story."
I just shook my head. My mother was a psycho!
He pressed his mouth to my ear, wrapping
me
in a tight, final embrace. "I've got to go, baby."
"Be careful. And
you better
come back."
"Always,
"
he promised.
With one last kiss that ached with sweetness, he went to Jeff and Miguel to plot our ambush of the Lighter's…ambush. Could this day be anymore screwed up?
I held in an explosive sigh and turned to Lily. She was playing with her doll, Joy's, hair. Twisting it into a messy braid that had no pattern or order. She was so
innocent and yet
,
not. There was a new
air about her, one that I didn't have time to think about. I squeezed my eyes shut tightly and took a deep breath, holding it in
so long it hurt before blowing it all out. When I opened my eyes, Lily was standing in front of me. I jumped and then laughed. "You scared me, bug."
"Sowwy. Are we gonna go hide in the closet again?"
I pressed my lips together. "Yeah. Probably. That ok?"
"Can Calvin and Fwankwin come, too?" she said and swung from side to side as if this all was no big deal.
"I think that's a good idea." I took another needed deep breath and prepared for Merrick's outrageous look at what I was about to say
to everyone
. "Ok, I think me and the kids and anyone else…Ellie, at least, need to come with me to the back room, right? We'll lock ourselves in."
True to my knowledge of him, Merrick's eyes bulged, and then his face softened into gratitude. He mouthed 'Thank you'. I nodded. I understood that he hated for me to fight him every time on whether I was going to fight or
not. But as morbid as it sounded
, I learned that stupid accidents and enemy attacks can h
appen right in our living room and he'd be safer not worrying about me and Lily. I almost smiled. I was making massive progress in my mind. It was har
d -
so, so har
d -
to let go of control.
Before I even realized it Merrick was nose to nose with me. I did smile then. He pressed his lips to mine before lifting Lily
and giving her a stern look
. "Stay with Mommy."
"Mmhmm." Then she gasped. "Oooh, let's bring snacks!"
Merrick guffawed at her before kissing her forehead. Then he kissed mine and went back to plotting. I went to gather a few snacks just in case we were bunkered down for a while and told Lily to get together some games or something.
I heard them plotting. Miguel, Merrick, Cain and Jeff would lead the attac
k outside with a group and P
astor, Max and Daniel would lead the one at the door of the bunker in case anyone got passed, which they were thinking was likely since they were sending so many. And then Marissa, who agreed to hold down in the bunker
,
but refus
ed to be locked in the backroom,
along with a few others
would be in the door waiting for anyone who got through, if that were to happen.