Revolution (The Lone Riders MC Series Book 1) (6 page)

But this was
his
club. His chapter. And if they thought they could keep secrets from him, they were wrong. Any shit he didn’t know about he considered dangerous. And if something
was
going on, he’d make it his business to find out exactly what that was.

Seven

‘You okay?’ Kel asked, sitting down next to Lexi on a couch at the back of the clubhouse.

‘I have no fucking idea.’ She threw herself back against the cushions, sighing
 
heavily, raking a hand through her hair. ‘I’m sorry, Kel. I guess everything’s slowly starting to catch up with me, that’s all. And you really don’t need me piling any of my crap on you tonight.’

‘I told you if you needed to talk, you come to me, okay?’ He looked at her, right into her eyes. ‘Do you want to talk?’

She didn’t know. Because she wasn’t sure how much she should be telling him just yet. How much she should be telling him at all.

‘Good to be back?’ Kel asked, leaving his previous question unanswered as he sat forward, clasping his hands between his knees.

‘It’s like I’ve never been away,’ Lexi replied, matching his stance, taking a swig from the bottle of beer she was holding. ‘And yet, at the same time, so many things are different.’

‘Eight years is a long time.’

She looked down at her hands clutching the bottle.

‘Your mom okay with you being back?’ Kel continued.

Lexi nodded. ‘She seems to be.’ She looked up, her eyes meeting his. ‘Was it a test, Kel?’

Kel frowned. ‘A test?’

‘I was out of control, to some extent. Back then. I questioned the morals of this club, threatened to leave it behind so many times… fought against everything it stood for. I fought against Jesse, but then he…’ She trailed off, looking down again.

‘He was trying to push you away,’ Kel said quietly, causing Lexi to look back at him.

‘You could see that?’

‘I guessed. So much shit was going down back then, Lexi. We were in the middle of that turf war with the Cabos MC, all that violence…’

‘Jesse getting shot…’ Lexi’s voice was little more than a whisper as she remembered that day only too well. The noise and the smell and the pervading air of fear – it had terrified her. ‘I think it got too much for him, you know? The responsibility he felt for making sure I was okay. I only wanted him to be safe, but maybe I shouldn’t have voiced my concerns quite so loudly, shown my weakness quite so much. I mean, I grew up surrounded by this, Kel. I knew what my life was gonna be like, yet, I couldn’t help myself. Couldn’t stop putting all my shit on Jesse’s shoulders so, yeah, of course he tried to push me away. It was the only thing he
could
do at the time. Pushing me away meant I left him alone, let him get on with things the way he always had done. Or that was the plan, anyway. But it got so much more complicated than that.’

‘You guys were together for almost four years, Lexi. It’s hard to let go of something after so long. Under any circumstance.’

‘He was with Deena for
five
years, Kel. And he seems to have let go of her pretty easily. And I really wish he hadn’t done that.’

‘Deena isn’t you.’

‘I’m nothing special. I’m a liability. And I really don’t want to fuck up his life all over again, that’s not why I came back.’

‘Why
did
you come back?’

She looked at him, leaving a beat or two before she spoke again. ‘I don’t know if I can do it,’ she whispered, looking right into his eyes. She knew that if she was going to tell anyone what had happened during her time in
England
, it was going to be Kel. All her fears, all her hopes; all her mistakes – the ones she’d made, and the ones she was about to make. The knock-on effect those eight years away had had on her life. She wanted to spill everything out to this wonderful, kind man in front of her because she needed to tell someone. But maybe it was too soon. She needed to get her own head straight first, before she started to chip away at the truth. ‘This life, it’s… it’s insane. Who in their right mind would ever want to live this way?’

He reached out and took her hand, squeezing it gently. ‘All of
us
, Lexi. The answer to that is all of us.’

She looked at him as he stood up, finally letting go of her hand. ‘I need answers, Kel.’

‘From who?’

She looked down at her fingers gripping the beer bottle before she looked back up at him. He just held her gaze for a few, long seconds, saying nothing more, before he walked away.

Dropping her head she pushed the almost empty bottle away from her, sliding both hands through her hair, sighing heavily before standing up and making her way out back to the apartment.

Closing the door behind her she walked over to the sideboard, placing both hands palm-down on it as she stared at her reflection in the mirror. Her eyes were more alive than they’d been in a long time, but her face was tired. Worn down. Eight years away had caused that. All the shit that had happened, all the questions racing round inside her head, they were only adding to the weight she was already carrying around with her. A weight that would never be eased until she found those answers she was looking for. Made the decisions she needed to make. But had she really needed to come back here to do all of that? Yeah. She had.

‘Not in the mood to party, huh?’

Her eyes met Jesse’s in the mirror as he appeared in the doorway, and she watched as he walked towards her.

‘Want to have some fun, just the two of us?’ he whispered, resting his hands on her hips, his lips brushing the back of her neck.

She turned around, kissing him quickly before she walked away, over to the other side of the room.

‘Lexi?’ Jesse frowned, sticking his hands in his pockets as he watched her back up against the wall. ‘You okay?’

‘I’m fine.’

He walked over to her, waiting until she gave him some kind of sign that she wanted him to touch her.

‘The answer’s yes,’ she whispered, taking his hand and pulling him closer. ‘I want to have some fun. Just the two of us.’ He could take whatever he wanted, she didn’t care right now. The release would be good. It was necessary.

He smiled, his mouth lowering down on to hers before moving to her neck. Lexi rested her head on his shoulder, smiling a slow smile as she saw another figure appear in the open doorway, their eyes immediately locking. She was surprised by how much she wanted him to see this. How much she needed him to watch this happen. How much of a kick it gave her to know he was seeing what Jesse was doing to her. That alone excited the hell out of her, and she could feel herself becoming wet, biting down on her lip as she felt Jesse slide her shorts down over her legs. She stepped out of them, kicking them away, groaning quietly as his hands slid back up over her thighs, the curve of her waist, slipping under her shirt, pulling it open. She shrugged it off, watching as it fell to the floor, leaving her naked and ready. And as she looked back up she saw Coby bow his head briefly, but he made no attempt to move, shoving his hands down into his pockets as he leant against the doorpost.

She kept her eyes on him, waiting until he raised his head again. She needed to look at him, right at him. She needed to hold his gaze, to know he was watching. She needed to see him see this. She wanted to look at his face while another man fucked her.

Jesse’s knee parted her legs and she pushed herself against him, her eyes still on Coby as Jesse lifted her up, pushing her back against the wall. She wrapped her legs around him, closing her eyes only briefly as he slowly pushed inside her. And as she opened her eyes again she felt her stomach dip, because Coby was watching. His head was back up now, his eyes staring at her as Jesse fucked her fast and hard, and she responded, every moan, every shout that fell from her lips pulling him in deeper, filling her up, and still Coby watched. He watched as Jesse came inside her, and she screamed so loud she thought the entire clubhouse would come running, but they didn’t. This, it was a noise they were used to. It surrounded them on an almost constant basis. And Lexi in turn watched as Coby
bowed his head again, pushing a hand through his hair. But knowing he’d witnessed it all, that was enough for her.

 
‘Jesus, baby…’ Jesse groaned, falling forward, his forehead resting against hers. ‘You been picking up some tips over there in
England
?’

She held him close, watching over his shoulder as Coby stepped back from the door, aware that Jesse might see him now.

‘You need to walk in on me more often,’ she whispered, running her fingers over his beard. She’d always liked to do that. She loved the rough feel beneath her skin, and for a few brief seconds she considered letting him go down on her. Because that was another sensation she’d always loved – his mouth touching her while his beard rubbed against her, oh God, this was so wrong! So wrong. And it really wasn’t fair.
 

‘I’d forgotten how freakin’ hot you are naked,’ Jesse said quietly, his fingers brushing lightly over her breasts before his head dipped, his mouth covering one of them, circling her nipple with his tongue, and once again Lexi’s eyes locked with Coby’s, an intensity filling the air that was almost suffocating. ‘I’m gonna go grab a shower.’ Jesse raised his head, kissing her quickly, his hand sliding around to gently slap her bottom. ‘Stay here, and stay naked.’

‘You got it, biker boy.’ She watched him head off into the bathroom, waiting for the shower to switch on before she turned to face Coby. He’d moved into full view again, standing there with his hands still in his pockets, his face impassive. She walked back over to the sideboard, leaning against it, her fingers gripping the edges. She wasn’t going to cover up. She didn’t see the point.

He walked further into the room, their eyes still locked together until he was almost right in front of her, and only then did his gaze drop.

‘What the hell was that?’ he asked, raising his head, their eyes locking once more. ‘You get some kind of kick out of it?’

‘You have no idea how much.’ Her eyes stared deep into his. ‘I thought this was what you wanted, Coby. To see me naked. To watch me fuck.’

‘I said we play fair. And this –
this
isn’t fair. That – I don’t want to see that. I don’t want to see someone else fucking you.’

‘I didn’t make you watch.’

‘Where is this going, Lexi? Because I have put my life on the fucking line for you, darlin’. Everything I have, my reputation, my place in this club – it’s all on the fucking line, for
you
.’

‘I said don’t, Coby. Don’t do that. Don’t make me feel that way because that –
that
isn’t fair.’

His eyes scanned her naked body, slowly, carefully, but his hands stayed in their pockets. ‘You know, in the beginning, I always thought of you like a daughter. When I first met you you were just ten years old, so what other way
could
I think of you?’

She leant forward slightly, her mouth almost touching his as she spoke. ‘Well, it wouldn’t do for “
daddy”
to touch his girl in an inappropriate way then, would it? Even though she’s all grown-up now.’

‘Enough, Lexi!’ Coby hissed, taking a step back. ‘This is all bullshit, do you hear me? We’re crossing lines, sweetheart, and I’m losing track of just what the hell we’re doing here.’

‘
Crossing
lines?’

He shook his head. ‘Maybe you should have stayed in
England
.’

‘You would’ve preferred that, huh? If I’d stayed away, out of sight. To protect
you
, and fuck anyone else. Is that it?’

He ran a hand over the back of his neck, looking briefly down at the floor. ‘How
are
things over there?’

She stared at him, waiting until his eyes met hers again, cocking her head slightly, taking a deep breath before she answered him, her voice lowering so it was barely audible. ‘Things are fine. My dad’s got it.’

‘Jesus Christ…’ Coby said quietly, looking away for a second or two before meeting her gaze once more.

‘Touch me,’ she whispered, her look daring him to do it.

He let out a small laugh, bowing his head again.

‘Take what’s yours, Coby.’

He moved a step closer, reaching out and sliding a hand between her legs, making her gasp out loud as he roughly pressed up against her. ‘
That
hasn’t been mine for a long time, baby.’

‘And whose fault is that?’

‘I had no choice.’

‘Yeah. You did, Coby. You did.’ She reached out to touch his face, running her fingers lightly over his grey-flecked goatee. ‘I’m sorry. I really am. For the position I’ve put you in. For the way it all happened. But you wanted it as much as I did. In the end.’

He took hold of her hand, gripping her wrist, his eyes boring into hers. ‘I
still
want it, Lexi. God help me… but I just… I can’t… And watching him – watching Jesse fuck you right there in front of me…’

‘You could have walked away.’

‘And why would I do that, huh?’

‘I need you, Coby.’

‘You are gonna kill me, baby.’

‘I need you,’ she whispered, moving her mouth closer to his, the memories and the pain and the raw, angry passion she felt for this man flooding her entire body. ‘Jesse he… I loved him, I… but that was before… Coby, I need
you
.’