Revolution (The Lone Riders MC Series Book 1) (9 page)

‘It’s the past, Lexi.’ Angie tried to keep her voice steady, because she was absolutely sure now that her daughter wasn’t going to leave this alone. ‘And the past isn’t important. You’ve left
England
behind now, and you’re back home. Whatever happened over there…’

‘Shane’s death?’

Angie’s eyes stared into her daughter’s for a few, long seconds before she spoke again. ‘Whatever happened over there, it’s done. We move on.’

Did they? Is that what they did? Just move on and forget anything that might just have affected the rest of their lives? ‘Do you wish I’d come back sooner?’ Lexi whispered, still holding her mother’s gaze.

‘You shouldn’t have stayed away that long.’

‘So why didn’t you do something about that, Mum?’

Angie’s gaze didn’t waver, her voice calm and controlled. ‘It was your decision to make, Lexi.’

Lexi gave a low laugh, looking down at her boots before she raised her head to meet her mother’s eyes once more. ‘Yeah. It was my decision.’

Angie watched as her headstrong daughter walked off towards the clubhouse. She was hiding something, Angie knew that. It was obvious. And whether that was something she just wasn’t ready to tell her own mother yet, or whether it was something that could have major repercussions on all of them, she didn’t know. And she didn’t know if she ever wanted to.

***

Lexi slid up on to a stool at the bar, picking up a coaster and turning it round and round between her fingers, a nervous habit she appeared to have picked up since arriving back here.

‘You want a beer?’

Lexi looked up, smiling at Kel as he reached underneath the bar, producing two bottles of beer.

‘Or is it more of a shoulder to lean on you’re looking for?’

She took the beer from him, pulling off the cap and taking a drink. ‘Both.’

‘Something on your mind?’

‘Shit you wouldn’t believe,’ Lexi sighed, putting the beer down and pushing both hands through her hair.

‘Want to talk about it?’

Lexi looked at him, this man who’d been a rock for her throughout her latter teenage years. The man who’d been her daddy substitute, almost, in the absence of Charlie, despite
Tay
being her stepfather. She’d just never been able to turn to
Tay
, or trust him enough to help her. She’d always been able to trust Kel.

‘Yeah. Yeah, I want to talk about it, Kel. I want to talk about it so fucking much…’ She trailed off, turning to look at the clubhouse door, watching as Coby walked in, laughing with Cain and Luca, joking around like the overgrown teenage boys they could sometimes become when the heat was off and there was some downtime to be had. She watched as Coby’s eyes briefly met hers, and every memory of his touch, his kiss, the roughness of his beard as it had rubbed against her naked breasts just hours earlier – Lexi felt her stomach dip just thinking about it. And every inch of her wanted to feel him do it all over again. She didn’t care if he fucked her then ran, just like he’d done before. She really didn’t care. She was back in this crazy, fucked-up world she’d grown up in, still learning to accept every just-as-fucked-up rule that came with it.

‘Something going on there, Lexi?’

Kel’s voice shook her back to reality and she turned to look at him, swallowing hard. She couldn’t tell him. She couldn’t. She’d really thought she could open up to him, and she wanted to, she really wanted to because if anyone could tell her the right thing to do, it would be him. But she couldn’t involve him in this. It wouldn’t be fair. He was too close to the club, too involved. It wouldn’t be fair to ask him to keep the secret. Even if she had no intentions of it staying a secret forever. It just wouldn’t be fair, asking him to keep something like this from
Tay
.

‘No,’ Lexi replied, taking a quick look back over at Coby. Jesse and Kip had joined them now, as well as a handful of girls Lexi suspected were from The Candy Cave. One of them was draped over Coby, her mouth close to his ear as she whispered something into it, which caused him to groan loudly, his arm snaking around her waist, pulling her against him. Lexi felt her stomach heave, a wave of nausea rising so quickly she only just made it to the bathroom in time.

‘You sure nothing’s going on?’ Kel asked, standing in the open doorway, his arms folded.

Lexi looked up at him, wiping her mouth with a tissue. ‘Something I ate.’

‘Well, you can keep spinning me that line, honey, but I ain’t ever gonna believe it.’

‘I’m fine, Kel.’ She pushed past him, back out into the clubhouse.

‘I didn’t ask if you were fine, Lexi,’ Kel persisted, following her back to the bar. ‘I asked if something was going on. Between you, and our Vice President.’

She looked back over at the pool table. Only Cain, Luca and Kip were there now. Both Coby and Jesse, and a couple of the
Candy
Cave
girls, had disappeared. And it didn’t take a genius to work out where they’d gone.

‘It’s what they do, Lexi,’ Kel said quietly, sliding a tumbler of whisky towards her. ‘You know that.’

She looked down at the whisky before looking back up at him. ‘I can’t… I can’t stop thinking about him,’ she whispered, her eyes back down on the glass, watching as her fingers circled the rim.

‘Is that all?’ Kel asked, his voice quiet. Calm. But she had no intention of telling him everything. She couldn’t. She’d already made that decision.

‘I don’t know if I love him, because love is such a fucked-up emotion, especially around here. I just…’ She looked back up at Kel. ‘I guess I like being fucked-up.’

‘How long?’

Lexi frowned, finally picking up the whisky and taking a sip. She had every intention of avoiding that question. And of ending this conversation as quickly as possible because she’d already let him know too much. Kel wasn’t stupid. He was quite capable of piecing things together if she gave him enough clues. No, she knew exactly who she needed to confide in. ‘I’m out of here,’ she said, downing the rest of the whisky and placing the empty glass back down on the bar.

‘Lexi?’

She turned back around, Kel’s eyes serious as he looked at her.

‘Be careful.’

And those were words she could have done with hearing a long time ago.

Ten

‘You okay?’ Jesse asked, sitting down next to Lexi at one of the tables outside the clubhouse. The sun was shining, the sky was a beautiful clear blue, and under any normal circumstances things would have been perfect. She was back in a place she loved, with people who made her feel safe, that’s the way it had always been around here. Until something she’d instigated had changed all of that, and kicked up a whole heap of shit that had altered everything. Her fault.

‘I’m fine.’ She looked at him. ‘Good night last night?’

Jesse clasped his hands together, looking straight at her, smirking slightly. ‘You jealous?’

She couldn’t help smiling, nudging him gently. ‘Like hell.’

He stared straight ahead, watching as two bikes pulled into the compound, parking up by the clubhouse. It was Coby and Kip, their voices echoing around the yard as they chatted loudly about something.

‘I’m surprised you’re here so early, though,’ Lexi continued, her eyes fixed on Coby. He was leaning against his bike, still talking to Kip. ‘Not a late one, then?’

Jesse shrugged. ‘The girls have got an early shoot this morning. Kel’s over at The Candy Cave getting things sorted. Some of us might go down there later, see how it’s going. It’s all girl-on-girl today, apparently.’

Lexi sighed, finally tearing her eyes away from Coby, although she could still hear that distinctive Scottish accent of his as he walked towards the clubhouse. ‘Did you stay here last night?’ she asked Jesse.

‘Yeah. Don’t know where Coby got to, though. Think he took off some place else.’

Lexi felt her stomach heave again, but she managed to hold the nausea in this time, looking down at her own hands that were also clasped tightly together now.

‘Anyway,’ Jesse sighed, standing back up. ‘Better go get the garage opened up before
Tay
gets here and starts throwing his weight about.’

He left her with a smile, and she returned it, although she was quite positive it hadn’t gone anywhere near her eyes.

She pushed her hands through her hair, sighing a little bit heavier this time. Why did it bother her so much if Coby was fucking about? Isn’t that what he’d always done, what they’d
all
always done? Even when she and Jesse had been together she wasn’t sure he’d been completely faithful all of the time, which is why it stung so much to think about the shit she’d had to go through just because she’d strayed. Different rules. And there wasn’t a thing she could do about that.

Her phone beeping broke into her thoughts and she picked it up, reading the text message that had just arrived. Sighing again she stood up, slipping the phone into the back pocket of her jeans as she made her way around the back of the office, closing the gate that cordoned off that part of the yard behind her.

‘Is this how it’s gonna play out now? Secret text messages? Clandestine meetings?’

He smiled, the arrogance seeping out of him as he leant back against the wall. And yet still all she wanted to do was wrap her legs around him and close her eyes as he sunk so deep into her he may never come out. ‘Makes it so much more interesting, don’t you think?’

She walked over to him, slowly unfastening her shirt, pulling it open so her naked breasts were exposed. ‘Does all the secrecy turn you on, soldier?’

He reached out to touch her, lowering his head to kiss her, but she backed away slightly, putting her fingers to his lips, shaking her head. ‘No, no, no, mister.
I
say when, you got that?’

‘Playing hard to get?’

‘I haven’t got time for that shit.’

‘Then get over here and let me suck on those perfect tits of yours. Man, that is the
best
way to start a day.’

‘Fucking a porn star not enough to get you going, huh?’

He laughed, taking one last drag on his cigarette before throwing it down on the ground. ‘She was nothing, compared to you, darlin’.’

Lexi smiled, taking a step closer to him. ‘Oh, really?’

‘Really.’

‘So, she didn’t fuck you in positions you never thought you were capable of, or make you come so hard you almost passed out? Because, that’s what she does for a living, isn’t it?’

‘Come here, Lexi.’

She took another step closer, her mouth almost touching his as she spoke. ‘Now, why should I come anywhere near you, let alone allow you to put that dick of yours inside me when I have no idea where the fuck it’s been?’

He smiled again, reaching out to flick a thumb over her nipple, and it was all Lexi could do not to let him know how good that felt. ‘I know where I want
it to
go
,’ he whispered, his thumb pressing a little harder this time.

Lexi bit down on her lip, her eyes staring deep into his. She could feel herself burning up, that ache between her thighs almost unbearable now. But she wasn’t going to give in that easy. He didn’t deserve that. He may think he had her all on his terms, but he was wrong.

She moved closer still, standing up on tiptoes to very quickly and very lightly press her lips against his, smiling slightly. ‘Tell you what, soldier. You get yourself cleaned up, wash any sign of that porn star bitch off you, and that dick of yours can go anywhere it likes. You got that?’

He raised an eyebrow. ‘Anywhere?’

‘
Any
where.’

He groaned, throwing his head back. ‘Fuck me, Lexi! Come on, kid, I’m desperate here. You started this…’

She smiled, pulling gently at the chain hanging from his belt. ‘Yeah. I guess I did. What a bitch, huh?’ She turned away from him, every nerve-ending in her body screaming out to turn back around and let him fuck her into next week, but she was learning to play a different game here.

‘Lexi?’

She slowly turned around, fastening her shirt back up, although her rock hard nipples were straining against the thin material, just aching for him to cover them with his mouth. ‘What?’

‘It has to be this way, baby.’

Because that was the way
he
wanted it?
 
Or was someone else telling him to play it this way. ‘I know.’ Oh yeah, she knew. But it wasn’t going to be this way forever. She’d make sure of that. She hadn’t come back to
Paradise
to roll over and die, accept all the shit she’d been made to accept for far too long. Those days were over. Circumstances had changed.

She walked away from him, knowing he was watching her, and she played on that, walking that little bit slower, swaying her hips just a touch more than usual. She needed that man to want her, and she wanted him to love her. But she knew part of that was going to take a lot of work, and not all of it could pan out the way she hoped it would.

‘Looking for someone?’

‘Jesus,
Tay
! You made me jump!’ Lexi gasped, slamming a hand to her chest as she tried to get her breath back.

‘Sorry, kiddo. Just wondered what you were doing back there.’

‘I was taking the trash out,’ she replied without missing a beat. ‘Anything else?’

He looked at her, straight at her, and Lexi felt a light shiver run up her spine.

‘Listen, Lexi…’ His tone changed, his voice softer, less suspicious. ‘It really is good to have you back. Your mom, she missed you. She might not let you know that, but she did. Trust me.’

Lexi narrowed her eyes slightly as she stared back at him, this handsome older man with an aura about him that she just couldn’t fully trust. But her mum loved him, she always had. Angie could have lost everything because of
Tay
, but instead he’d made sure they were all looked after. He’d given them a good life, and he loved her and Kip, as much as if they’d been his own. But, for some reason, whilst Kip had loved having
Tay
as a stepfather, Lexi just hadn’t been able to fully buy into that. She just didn’t entirely know why.

‘Yeah, well, I missed her, too.’ At times more than Lexi had been able to bear.

Tay
leant back against the wall, lighting up a cigarette, taking a drag and smiling at her. A smile Lexi couldn’t really read. ‘And what about me? You miss
me
?’

She just looked at him, but ignored his question. ‘My mum around?’

‘She’s in the office.’

Lexi started to walk away.

‘Lexi?’

She swung back around, sighing quietly, because she really did just want to get away now. ‘What?’

‘If you need anything, from me or your mom, or from any of the guys here, you just ask. Okay? We’re your family. Remember that.’

How could she ever forget?

Making her way back out into the main part of the compound she sat down on a table outside the clubhouse, clasping her hands between her knees, looking out at everything going on around her. The garage was open now. Some of the guys were working in there, others were milling around by their bikes whilst a couple of the Prospects tidied up the yard. Life was going on as normal around her, just as she remembered it. Before she’d left. Before she’d been
made
to leave. And whose fault had that
really
been?

She hung her head, closing her eyes as she heard Coby’s familiar accent again, his deep laugh filling the air as he and Jesse approached the clubhouse. The man she’d once loved, and the man who’d made her love him.

‘Hey, Lexi, you coming with us?’

Jesse’s voice made her look up. ‘Sorry?’

‘The
Candy
Cave
. A few of us are heading over there to check out what’s going on, see if Kel needs any help.’

‘I’m sure he can manage fine without you lot turning up to do nothing but sit there and gawp like hormone-riddled teenagers who’ve never seen two girls making out before.’

‘We’ve got nothing else to do today.’ Jesse grinned at Coby, who threw him a grin right back.

Lexi looked at them both. ‘How old are you?’

‘You coming or not?’ Jesse asked, taking his hat out of his pocket and pulling it down over his head.

‘I think I’ll pass, thanks,’ Lexi replied.

‘Fair enough. Come on, Cobe. Let’s go see if the others are ready.’

‘I’ll be there in a second, brother.’ He waited until Jesse had disappeared into the clubhouse before he leaned in towards Lexi, his breath warm on her neck as he whispered in her ear. ‘Watching
you
fuck another woman, darlin’… now
that
is something me and my hard-on ache to see.’

She stared at him as he pulled back and walked off into the clubhouse. ‘Shit!’ she muttered under her breath, pushing a hand through her hair.

‘What was all that about?’

Lexi looked up to see her mum standing there. ‘Nothing.’

Angie raised an eyebrow, holding out a mug of coffee. ‘You look as though you could do with one of these.’

‘Thanks,’ Lexi said, taking the mug from her.

‘Want some company?’ Angie asked.

Lexi took a sip of the coffee, indicating the space next to her. ‘Help yourself.’

Angie sat up on the table beside Lexi, resting her feet on the bench in front of them. ‘You okay, honey?’

‘People keep asking me that, all the time… I’m absolutely fine.’

The sound of Coby, Kip, Jesse, Cain and Blake almost falling out of the clubhouse distracted her, all of them laughing over something Blake had said, and Lexi couldn’t stop her eyes from meeting Coby’s for a brief second. It was becoming a habit. And the only thing she could think about was how she wished she’d just let him fuck her earlier. How she wished she’d just given in to him because it hurt like hell to even look at him now. Every day it got harder to be around him and not be able to touch him or kiss him, or hold his hand. Right now, just holding his hand would be something she’d kill to do.

‘Hey, Coby!’
Tay
yelled from across the yard. ‘I need you with me today, brother. Got a sit-down with the Cabos this morning.’

Coby said something to Kip, slapped him on the shoulder and ran over to
Tay
. Lexi never took her eyes off him, and it was only when her mother spoke that she realized she’d been staring.

‘Something you want to tell me, baby?’

Lexi looked down, watching her fingers as they fiddled with the leather bands around her wrist. ‘I don’t…’ She looked up again, her eyes back on Coby, an ache in the pit of her stomach she couldn’t control now. It was painful, and confusing, but she welcomed it. Because it meant she was feeling something when, for a long time, she’d felt nothing at all. ‘When he came to
England
… that’s when it happened.’

‘What did, Lexi? What happened?’

Lexi waited until the others had pulled away on their bikes, roaring out of the compound in a barrage of noise and exhaust fumes before she said anything else. ‘Coby happened,’ she whispered, her eyes still on him as he walked over to the garage with Tay, his hands in his pockets, his eyes now covered by his mirrored shades, his hair pushed right back off his face.

‘He was just another club member before, you know? I mean, okay, I know he’s been in my life for a long time but… he was just another club member…’ Her gaze dropped again, a feeling of anger towards herself that she could be this weak. She was a kick-ass biker chick, and this – this was bullshit.