“What did I do?” she asked in a panic, pulling her hand away. “Are you okay?”
The stabbing pain in his back took his breath away, and he found it difficult to answer. He slowly crawled off her and rose to his feet.
“You didn’t do anything, it was just a bad spasm in my back. I don’t think the couch is a very good idea.” He pulled her up to stand in front of him. “Maybe we should try this in bed instead,” he said, leading her behind him. When they reached the bed, he stopped to kiss her again. “See? I’m more traditional than you ever imagined.”
She pushed him down to lie on the bed, removed his pants, and then took off the rest of her clothes. “Lucky for you, I’m not,” she said as she straddled herself over him and leaned down to kiss him.
“I do love you,” he told her.
“I love you too.”
~
The air filled with dust as Julia moved one box after another. A few rays of late afternoon sun streamed into the dimly lit attic through shuttered windows, and reflected off the dust particles swimming in the small space. Rick waited as she searched, occasionally taking boxes from her and setting them off to the side. He was alarmed at how much stuff she and Devon had accumulated in such a short period together.
“You know, we don’t have to do this now.”
“I know, but you’ll be amazed how quickly the time will fly.” Julia handed him another box and then spotted the sought after bounty. “Ah ha!” she declared, lifting it up with some difficulty in a victorious display. The box, labeled
Maternity
across the top, threatened to burst the tape holding it closed. She handed it to Rick and began to work her way out from the labyrinth created from her search.
“Don’t you want to put some of these back?” Rick asked. He set the box down and grabbed her arm to steady her as she stumbled over the outermost boxes.
“Nah, it makes it easier to see what they are when they’re all spread out instead of stacked.”
When she was free, he retrieved the box and followed her back down to the living room, careful to peer between himself and the box to keep his footing. He set it by the front door and turned to find Randy shoving a glass vial into his pocket. Pretending he hadn’t seen, Rick walked through the living room, into the kitchen. He pulled a beer from the refrigerator and returned to the others.
Devon, Keith, and Randy were all sniffing as he entered, and Julia was flipping through channels on the TV. Rick took one of the chairs facing the TV and watched the shows and commercials passing by. After a swig from his beer, he looked around to find the others all looking guilty. He laughed and shook his head. “You know, you guys don’t have to hide it from me. I’m pretty sure I can handle the peer pressure.”
“Sorry man, just figured it would be easier if you didn’t know,” Devon said.
“How could I miss it? You guys, all sniffing and trying to act cool…plus Randy’s got a rock hanging in his nostril.” Randy reached up and felt his nose. “Pretty hard to miss that, so don’t even bother trying to hide it, just makes us all look stupid.”
Julia laughed from her spot on the couch. “What time do you need to take off Ricky?”
“I want to get home before Beth to start supper, so I’ve got about an hour.”
Randy snickered, and Julia snapped at him. “Hey! Maybe you should try doing something nice like that once in a while. If you did, maybe Morgan wouldn’t be so pissy with you all the time.”
Randy lost his grin, and when Julia turned away, he stuck his tongue out at her, amusing no one but himself. Julia continued as she once again began to flip channels, “A little maturity would take you a long way, Mr. Young.” She winked at Rick, and he couldn’t help but chuckle. In the distance, Elijah began to cry as he woke from his nap. Julia rose and tossed the remote to Rick before she left the room.
Rick pointed it toward the TV and clicked the
Power
button. He sat forward in his chair and faced the other three. “I’m bored. Anyone want to shoot some pool?”
Devon and Randy shook their heads, but Keith stood up. “I’ll play you a game.”
“Cool,” Rick said, standing and following Keith toward the basement. He stopped and called back to Devon, “Is there beer in the fridge down there?”
“Yep.”
Once they’d turned on all the lights, Keith said, “Rack ‘em up,” and headed to the mini-bar for a beer.
When the balls were set, Rick took the first shot. “Guess I’m stripes,” he said as the blue-striped twelve fell into a corner pocket. He got in three more shots, and was beginning to think he might get to run the table for once, but missed his fourth. He never got another chance. Keith was an expert pool player, in fact, they often teased him that if he ever needed a new career, he would do well as a pool hustler.
“Again?” Keith asked when he sank the last ball.
“Sure,” Rick said, “I’ll rack ‘em if you’ll grab me another beer.”
“Will do,” he said, going behind the bar. “So, you and Beth, are you really going through with it?”
“Well, yeah. Why wouldn’t we?”
Keith shrugged his shoulders and handed Rick a beer. “Just never figured you for someone who would settle.”
Surprised, Rick asked, “How am I settling?”
“How are you not? Just because you knocked her up doesn’t mean you have to get married. You’re smarter than that. At least, I always thought you were.”
Rick could feel himself turning red and becoming irritated. “That’s what people do Keith – they fall in love, they get married, and they have kids.”
“Yeah,” Keith paused, “but you’re not in love.”
“What the fuck are you talking about? Of course we are!”
“Beth is. You’re not,” Keith said calmly.
His beer and game forgotten, Rick banged his pool cue on the ground. “How the hell do you know what I feel and don’t feel?”
“Hey, don’t get mad at me. I’m just pointing out the obvious and trying to make sure you don’t do something you’ll regret.”
“What
obvious
? I’m crazy about Beth, and it’s cool that we’re having a baby.”
“Okay, sorry,” Keith said and returned to the game. After a few shots, he asked, “Is Erin coming to the wedding?”
Rick grabbed the chalk off the table and turned away. “I’m not sure if she can yet.”
“Because she doesn’t know if she can make it, or because you haven’t told her?”
“What is with you?” Rick demanded, turning to face him.
Leaning his cue against the wall, Keith walked over to the bar and climbed onto a stool. He lit a cigarette and offered Rick one as he took the other stool. After lighting Rick’s, Keith put his hand on his shoulder and gave him a shake. “I’m sorry buddy, I just can’t buy the whole ‘I’m the happiest guy in the world,’ bit.”
Rick took a deep drag from his cigarette and a drink of his beer, wondering what Keith was getting at. “And I don’t know what to tell you to make you believe me. Are you jealous? Is that it?”
Keith laughed and shook his head. “I’m not jealous Ricky.” Looking him in the eye, Rick could tell he was serious. “It’s just that…I’ve seen you in love before, and this ain’t it.”
Nervous, but curious, Rick asked, “When have you seen me in love? I’ve never been in love before now.”
Keith didn’t answer right away, but kept his eyes locked with Rick’s. Noting it felt more like a conversation he might have with Devon, Rick began to squirm on the stool.
“We both know that’s not true,” Keith said at last. “I’ll let you deny it all you want, but just know that I know.”
Opting not to test his knowledge, Rick said, “Maybe I’m not
in
love, but I do love her, and I know in time that will grow into something I can be very happy with.”
“I hope you’re sure about that. Things can get really messy when you’re just trying not to hurt someone.”
“Nothing’s gonna get messy,” Rick assured him.
~
“Yum, something smells good,” Beth said as she walked into the kitchen. Coming up behind Rick, she put her arms around him, peeking over his shoulder to see what was on the stove. “Spaghetti!”
“Yep, I hope you’re hungry. It’ll be ready in about five minutes.” He turned enough to give her a quick kiss.
“I’m starving. Hope I can wait that long,” she said, letting him go.
“I put that box of Julia’s old maternity clothes in the bedroom. She said to go through it, and whatever you don’t want, just put back in the box.”
“Okay, great. Do you want me to make a salad?”
“Already did.”
“Alright,” she looked around, “I’ll set the table then.” She made her way around the kitchen, getting plates and silverware. “I had lunch with Morgan today.”
“Really? Randy didn’t say anything about it. In fact, he said Morgan was home sick.”
“He is such an asshole. She told me she wanted to go with him to Julia and Devon’s, and that he told her Julia and Elijah were sick, so they didn’t want many people over.”
Rick shook his head. “I don’t know why he’s being that way. Maybe they need a break from each other. The tour’s coming up, hopefully that will help.”
“Well, anyway, I was telling her that we couldn’t decide on any girl names, and she came up with the perfect name.”
Rick carried the pot of boiling spaghetti to the sink and began pouring it into a colander. “Yeah?” he said, backing away from the rising steam.
“Yeah, she was telling me about an old friend, and Morgan always thought she had the prettiest name, and I have to agree. I think it would be perfect.” She went to the cupboard and pulled out two glasses.
“What is it?”
She ignored his question, but continued, “Morgan say’s you knew the friend and that the two of you were even close.”
Rick suddenly felt a chill, despite the steam rising from the sink.
“She suggested
Shelby
. I just think that is such a pretty name for a girl, don’t you?”
Rick slowly turned from the sink to face her. He could feel his pulse beginning to race. He tried to remain calm, but knew his tone was anything but, as he said “No.”
“But –”
“No. Don’t ask me again. No.”
They ate in silence. Rick wouldn’t risk looking at her, but he knew she was watching him.
Chapter Twenty-Four
Rick awoke earlier than usual the morning of the season’s first snow. He turned and saw Beth sleeping. Panicked to see her still in bed, he looked at the clock to find it was past seven, but then remembered it was Saturday. He could feel the chill in the air before he looked out the window at the snow covered ground. It was more than the few inches the weather predicted – there was at least a foot on the roof of the garage and it was coming down heavy.
He crawled out of bed, found his robe and padded down the hallway to adjust the thermostat. After starting a pot of coffee, he decided to build a fire. Beth was easily chilled the last few days.
By the time the coffee was ready, the fire was going strong. Rick sat close to the flames and blew on his coffee. He thought about his impending wedding. It was less than a month away. They planned it for the second week in January, just before the tour. When he’d given in and called Erin, her reaction had been just as he imagined. She and Kostas were to arrive just before Christmas and stay through the wedding before heading back to Athens.
He heard Beth stirring, so he called out to let her know coffee was ready, and a fire was going.
“I’ll be out in a minute,” she called. When he heard the bathroom door close, he went to the kitchen to get her a cup of coffee. By the time he added her cream and sugar and returned to the living room, Beth was standing at the end of the couch. He approached to give her the coffee, but stopped when he saw tears in her eyes and panic on her face. Coffee spilled over the sides of the cup as he rushed to set it down.
“What’s the matter babe?” he asked, rising back up to embrace her. She pushed her face into his shoulder and sobbed. He turned, kissed her cheek, and ran his hand over her hair. “What’s going on?”
Through her tears, she said, “I’m bleeding.”
“What do you mean, you’re bleeding?” He pulled away to look at her.
“I’m bleeding!” she repeated, almost hysterically. “I shouldn’t be bleeding!”
Realizing what she was talking about, he made her sit down. “I’ll call the doctor, you stay right there. It might be normal.”
“It’s not normal,” she said. “It means something’s wrong,” she cried, burying her face in the couch.
“I’ll call now.” He raced to the phone and grabbed the phone book from the drawer. He found the number and dialed, but there was no answer. Remembering it was Saturday, he looked up the number for the hospital. Rick waited while the operator connected him with a doctor, and then explained the situation.
“He needs to know if you’re spotting or bleeding,” he asked Beth, but had to stop to hear what the doctor was saying. “Is it like your period?”
She didn’t answer, but continued to cry and nodded instead. “Babe! Which is it? Spotting or bleeding?”
“Bleeding.”
Rick relayed the information to the doctor, and then listened as he explained that Beth was suffering a miscarriage. “Can I bring her in? What can we do?” he asked. His heart dropped as the doctor told him there was nothing to be done – this early in the pregnancy, nature was taking its course. The emergency room physician advised him of what to expect for the rest of the day, and told him to have Beth see her regular doctor the following week.
He hung up and slowly turned to give Beth the news, but he could tell she already knew. Instead, he took her in his arms and slowly rocked her as she cried. He spent the day that way, holding her, feeding her Tylenol, trying to get her to eat, and talking her through the worst of her cramping. The phone rang occasionally, but they didn’t answer.
By the end of the day, another foot of snow had fallen, and Beth finally slept from exhaustion. Rick went to the kitchen and mixed himself a drink. He found his coat and headed outside for a cigarette. He’d only been out twice the entire day. Taking the shovel from its spot by the door, he made himself a path to the edge of the deck. The snow still fell, but was much lighter than before. He leaned against the railing and finally allowed the emotions of the day to work their way to the surface, but when they arrived, he couldn’t tell what they were. There were many, and they pushed at each other – sadness, relief, guilt, regret, and fear of what his future held. He wondered how the event would affect Beth, and their relationship.