As he followed, Rick wondered at his luck of finding Gianni, and of Gianni even knowing who he was. It gave him hope to know that Shelby had talked about him enough with a friend that the friend could guess who he was.
Finding Shelby at a party had not been one of the scenarios Rick imagined, and he worried that he didn’t have a plan. He slowed his pace, wondering if he should wait until the next day to find her.
Gianni turned and saw his hesitation. “Come!” he told Rick.
Rick stopped. “I don’t know, maybe I should wait until tomorrow.”
Gianni walked back to Rick, took his arm, and pulled him along.
“Is okay, Rick. Come,” Gianni said, but Rick still wasn’t sure.
Gianni stopped and turned to face him. “Rick. Is okay,” he said more slowly. “Shelby, yes?”
“Yes,” Rick agreed.
“Okay, pamè,” he said and continued down the street. Rick followed the man in a daze.
~
As Gianni drove away, Rick carefully made his way along the uneven footpath leading to Morgan’s house. The closer he got, the more clearly he heard loud voices and laughter, carried by the relentless wind. He also heard someone playing guitar and singing – a woman. He wondered if it was Shelby, but couldn’t tell. The last time he heard her sing, she was sixteen, and didn’t know how.
When he reached the terrace, he could see people milling about inside. He approached the door, took a deep breath, and entered. No one noticed him as he walked inside. The main living room that once contained the postcard wall was the smaller room, but it was full of people, many in small groups engrossed in conversation. He spotted Morgan in one of the groups and came up behind her. He touched his hand to her shoulder.
When she saw him, she squealed and her hands shot up to her cheeks. She pursed her lips, and wrapped her arms around him.
“Oh my God, Ricky. What are you doing here? I can’t believe this.”
She let him go and brought one hand back to her cheek.
“Hi Morgan. How are you?”
She didn’t answer but looked around the room instead. “Is Randy with you?” she asked.
“No, he’s not. It’s just me.”
“Just you? Well, what are you doing here? I mean, I’m really happy to see you, I’m just surprised is all.”
“Well, I’m actually looking for Shelby. Is she here?”
Morgan looked a little confused, but said, “Yeah, she’s here. That’s her in there singing.” Morgan pointed to her studio.
“Okay, thanks.” Rick turned to leave, but Morgan grabbed his arm to stop him.
“How is Randy?”
Rick thought for a moment, and then answered, “You know, he hasn’t been the same since you left. You were really good for him. I wish you guys could have worked things out.”
“So do I,” Morgan said softly.
Rick smiled at her and turned toward the studio. Looking back at her, he said, “You should call him. I think he’d like that.” He continued on his way, and when he reached the doorway, he could see the larger room held quite a few more people. The room was dim, with only a few kerosene lanterns scattered around the room to provide light. At the far end, Shelby and a man sat on chairs facing the room’s occupants. Shelby played her guitar and the man played harmonica. Rick didn’t recognize the song, but he could tell it was a Shelby original.
He followed along the back wall to a dark corner and watched the performance. A few people danced to the song, but most stood around listening. The sight of her forlorn expression made his heart ache. So beautiful and so full of talent, how could she think she was dead inside? At tenty-three, she had her whole life ahead of her. Hopefully, she would share it with him, and together they could discover how good life could be.
She and the man played four more songs before Shelby pulled the guitar strap over her head and set it down beside the chair. She walked through the room, and exited the way Rick had come.
He wasn’t sure whether he should follow her, or just wait and watch some more. But then, he knew exactly what he needed to do, and he moved through the people to the chair Shelby had vacated. He sat down and took the guitar in his hands. He strummed lightly a few times to get the feel of the instrument.
The room became quiet, waiting to see what this man was going to do. Rick watched the door for Shelby, but she remained in the other room. Then, he began to play, and as he played, a whisper spread through the room. When he started to sing, a hush replaced the whisper and Shelby appeared in the doorway.
Like an angel strayed from heaven, you burst into my realm
And through my loves confusion, you swiftly took the helm
My life, once familiar, you so easily unwound
A lost and wandering soul was mine, now, forever to you bound
He watched as her eyes searched for his in the low light and her mouth fell open. She walked through the room, slowly moving toward him.
I meant no wrong, you took my hand
I walk you through your storm
But now you’re gone, I lay alone
And chase your haunting form
You showed me a world, a world I’d never seen
I never really knew just how lonely I had been
The joy that you bestowed on me, I had never known
The laughter of your heart, you granted me alone
Her eyes never left his, even when she was standing right in front of him. He continued to play and to sing her song to her. Performing the song never felt like this before, and as he sang, everything he ever felt for her came through in his voice.
I meant no wrong, you took my hand
I walk you through your storm
But now you’re gone, I lay alone
And chase your haunting form
Now you’re gone away from me, your memory’s all that’s left
How could I have known, you would leave me so bereft?
Darkness fills the space, the space you made replete
Now alone, I start to see, I’ll never be complete
I’ll never be complete
I meant no wrong, you took my hand
I walk you through your storm
But now you’re gone, I lay alone
And chase your haunting form
When he was through, he stood, put the guitar down and turned to Shelby, oblivious to the hooting and clapping around him. Rick cupped his hand around her cheek, and she pressed into it. Pulling her towards him, he wrapped his arms around her.
“Rick, what are you doing here?” As she spoke, her breath on his neck warmed his entire body.
“I came to talk to you. I need to talk to you.”
She tilted her head back to look at him. “About what?”
“Is there some place we can go? A little more quiet?” he looked around the room. Someone had turned on music from a cassette player, and people were beginning to dance. It was as though someone turned up the volume dial on the entire house, as the conversations became louder to match the music.
Shelby looked around and then took his hand. “Come on, we can go to Morgan’s room.”
He followed her through the people, into another room. A single lamp lit the space. Shelby took the lamp from its perch on the window’s ledge and moved it to a table beside the bed. She turned the flame higher, and the room appeared to grow in size. Still holding Rick’s hand, she pulled him down to sit beside her on the bed and looked at him expectantly.
All the things he wanted to say were racing through his mind, but he commanded them to slow so he could say exactly what he wanted. He couldn’t blow this.
“That night, at the coffee shop…when you left, my world shattered. I was so lost, and tired. I couldn’t even imagine how I could go on. The only other time I came close to feeling that bad was when I left you before. That was terrible, but the night in the city? It felt like the end.”
Shelby looked at him with a mixture of compassion and confusion.
“I’m tired of it Shelby.”
“Tired of it?”
“I’m tired of hurting, tired of being sad. I’m tired of being lonely, even when I’m with people that I love. I’ve been lonely my whole life, I just never realized it until I met you. The only time in my life I’ve ever been happy, truly happy, was when I was with you. I can’t chase dreams anymore, Shelby.” She listened, but didn’t speak. She just stared down at their entwined hands, so he continued. “I know you’ve been sad and miserable for years too.” He brushed her hair from her eyes to reveal the tears that readied to fall. “We don’t deserve it Shelby, and I think it’s time we try to be happy for a change, together.”
The tears she tried to contain dropped from her eyes as she shook her head. “No, I told you Rick, I’m empty, I have nothing to give you.”
“But you’re not. Don’t you see? If that were true, you wouldn’t be sitting here with me right now. You think your soul died that day, but it didn’t. It’s just been sleeping, healing. It’s been long enough, it’s time to take back your life.”
She began to sob uncontrollably and Rick pulled her to him. He rocked her gently as she cried. “But what if I can’t?” she asked, struggling to catch her breath.
“I know you can. Remember how you always said, one of my best qualities was seeing people for who they really are? Not letting them hide?” She nodded and pursed her lips. “I see you, Shelby. I see who you are, even if you don’t. I know you’re there, afraid to let the world see the real you. The last time you did, the world kicked your ass and made you feel small and insignificant, but you’re not. You’re the brightest star in the universe, hiding behind a cloud, afraid of being seen, but I see you.” He smoothed her hair and kissed her temple. “And I’m going to be here every day to help you shine again.”
She pulled away from him and wiped her face with her hand. “What do you mean, every day?”
He cupped her face in his hands and wiped at her tears with his thumbs. Taking a deep breath, he said, “Shelby, I love you – it’s only ever been you. One day, a long time ago, you wished you could be my girlfriend, since that day, I’ve only wanted to be
everything
to you. The only way I’ll leave this island is if it’s
with
you.”
She leaned into him again, still crying. They stayed that way for a long time, until Rick pulled her with him to lie on the bed. He softly kissed her lips and then held her until sleep took them both.
Chapter Thirty-Nine
When Rick awoke, the house was quiet and only a faint light surrounded the window. Shelby was no longer beside him. He lie there, contemplating his next move. He thought he had convinced her, but her absence indicated otherwise. Checking his watch, he saw it was just after seven, though the low light made it appear earlier.
He sat up and swung his legs over the side of the bed. Peeking out from his shoes on the floor was a scrap of paper. He picked it up and saw it was a note, but the room was too dark to make out the writing. Rick stood and walked to the window. Outside, a light rain fell from the gloomy clouds, but there was enough light to read the note:
Rick,
I’m sorry to leave you so early, but I need some time to get my thoughts together. Seeing you here last night was so amazing, but also very confusing. You are so special, and the fact that you came here for me means so much.
I have some things I need to do today, but please meet me tonight and hopefully I’ll have my head together, and will know how to talk to you by then. I’ll be at the Disco Sirocco at 9:00. I hope you remember where it is. You and I spent some wonderful evenings there long ago.
I’ll see you there,
Shelby
He folded the note, stuck it in his pocket, and went back to the bed to put his shoes on. His jacket hung from a chair, and picking it up, he headed for the door. The house was quiet, but he saw several people sprawled out, sleeping in a few corners. Morgan was curled up on a couch, fast asleep. He walked through the room as quietly as he could, unlatched the front door, and walked out into the rain. The pack of cigarettes in his pocket was bent, and only a few remained unbroken. He pulled one out and lit it before zipping up his jacket. Thunder rumbled in the distance as he turned onto the road and headed for town.
He considered looking for her, but knew that pressuring Shelby in that manner wouldn’t help his cause. It would be best to find another way to kill time, although he had no idea what that might be.
As he reached the outskirts of town, he saw a path leading away from the road and toward the sea. He wasn’t sure, but he thought he remembered going that way before. The land wasn’t as open as he remembered – several new buildings sat along one side of the path now, between Rick and the main road. He continued on, and was finally certain of his whereabouts. He was soaked through and cold, but couldn’t stop himself from descending the steps leading down to the chapel under the rocks.
Other than the light and the color of the sea, it was just as he remembered. The sidewalk was wet, but he found the rocks he and Shelby sat on when he gave her the necklace protected by the cliff, and they were dry. He sat down and lit another cigarette. Looking around, he fondly recalled the times they spent together, swimming, talking, and just enjoying one another’s company.
If I can ever talk her into marrying me
,
this is where we’ll do it
–
a small ceremony under the rocks
. The idea made him smile. He knew he hadn’t won her yet, but he was much closer than he’d ever been.
~
The day passed agonizingly slow. He changed out of his wet clothes and showered. Maria found him and fed him, twice. He walked around town, trying to remember the twists and turns of the village alleys and lanes. The port café was warm and welcoming, and he stopped for an afternoon cup of coffee. Just as she described years before, Morgan was there with friends, staying out of the rain and passing time. He joined her for a while and they talked about old times. She asked about everyone, and Rick filled her in. When she pressed him, he explained why he was on the island looking for Shelby.