And then Pax climbed beside her. “Lube, Teresa.”
“Bedside drawer.”
Pax leaned over her back, kissed her neck. “You’re in control here, Teresa. You’re uncomfortable, you stop this.”
She reached up and slid her hand across his cheek. “I want this. I want both of you inside me at the same time. Now fuck me.”
She felt the cool liquid coating her ass, Pax’s finger there teasing her as AJ thrust inside her. She lifted against Pax’s finger, and he replaced his finger with his cock.
“Relax, baby,” AJ said. “Exhale and push out when Pax slides inside. It’s easier that way.”
She nodded and AJ kissed her. She lost herself in AJ’s lips and tongue as Pax pushed his cockhead past the tight barrier of her anus, then pushed his shaft inside her.
The burning pain made her hiss, but it finally settled and all she felt was full of cock, just as she wanted. She threw her head back and Pax leaned over her to lick her ear. “Ahh, you’re so tight, so hot here, Teresa. Just like I knew you’d be.”
AJ began to move again, the sensation unbelievable. She was filled by two cocks, both moving in tandem. She would lift a bit off AJ and Pax would drive into her ass. Then Pax would pull out a bit and AJ would thrust deep into her pussy. And when AJ began to circle his thumb over her clit, she felt the pleasure tremors inside, her body gripping them both in a tight vise. She shuddered and ground against AJ, raking her nails down his chest, her orgasm tunneling toward her like a runaway train she had no hope of stopping.
“I’m going to come. Oh, God, I’m going to come.” She arched her back and let her cries run free as her climax rocked her. She felt it everywhere, pulsing through her nerve endings like a strike of the sweetest hot lightning shooting through her, exploding over and over.
AJ groaned and shoved hard up into her, gripping her hips as he shouted out his climax. Pax gripped her hair and pulled as he came, too, the three of them locked together in the most intimate moment Teresa had ever experienced, coming together and forever bonding, the three of them.
She never wanted this moment to end; she still pulsed with the aftereffects of her orgasm long after it was over. Pax kissed her neck, AJ’s lips brushed hers, and both their hands skated light and easy over her body.
At this moment, she felt treasured and cared for and loved.
Pax pulled out and drew Teresa from AJ’s lap. The three of them showered together, Pax and AJ soaping her down gently, tenderly kissing her, rinsing her, drying her. They climbed into bed together and Teresa drifted off into a blissful slumber sandwiched between these two men she loved so deeply.
In the middle of the night, AJ woke her and made love to her again, slow and easy, without words, taking her to a low, rumbling climax that devastated her senses. After, she rolled over and found that Pax had been awake, watching them. She climbed on top of his steely hard cock and rode him to another blistering climax, neither of them speaking, just touching and kissing. Teresa was afraid to break the tenuous bond that still held the three of them together; she only wanted to feel them inside her, touching her, kissing her, loving her.
She fell asleep between them again, aching inside because she knew this would be the last time.
In the morning she made them coffee and they ate breakfast together.
“You packed up?” she asked as they helped her with the dishes.
Pax nodded, his expression solemn.
They put their bags on their bikes.
“So where are you headed next? Or is that some kind of national secret?”
AJ laughed. “Just back to headquarters for debriefing.”
“Oh. Well, that’s good.” She twined the fingers of both hands together and clamped her lips shut.
Don’t say it.
It wouldn’t matter anyway.
Pax locked his saddlebag. “I guess that’s it.”
She shuddered, then smiled. “I guess so.”
“Teresa—” Pax came up to her, pulled her into his arms.
She placed her fingers on his lips. “Don’t. Please. I’m having a hard enough time as it is.”
He gave her a curt nod, then bent and put his mouth on hers, kissing her so deeply she couldn’t hold back the tears. He let her go and turned away to grab his helmet, and AJ swept her into his arms to kiss her next, his mouth so soft, his kiss telling her so much.
She finally pulled away, blinked back the stinging tears and offered them a bright smile. “R ide careful.”
AJ nodded and climbed on his bike. She stood outside in the driveway and watched them both ride away.
SHE HADN’T SAID ANYTH ING TO THEM ABOUT HOW SHE FELT,
knowing there were no words that would keep them tied to her. And she wouldn’t have said so even if she could have figured out what to say.
Their life wasn’t with her, could never be.
And it would be unfair of her to even attempt to change that.
She went inside, shut and locked her door, and then let the tears fall freely, let the ache and loss envelop her. She wrapped her arms around herself and sat on the sofa, knowing she was never going to get over loving them.
TWENTY-THREE
THEY MADE IT BACK TO DALLAS, DEBRIEFED WITH GENERAL LEE,
and unpacked their things. AJ couldn’t stand being in his room. It felt claustrophobic. Apparently Pax couldn’t either, because he was downstairs in the main room when AJ came down.
Everyone was here. There was a mandatory weekend get-together, which meant the whole group had to attend. All the guys had been out on assignment for a while, so it was nice to relax and catch up in between more official meetings and briefings.
Diaz and Jessie were there, and Spence, too. Spence had brought Shadoe along since they were about to start their own vacation, taking a ride out west. Mac and Lily came out of the kitchen arguing with each other about something. Rick and his new girlfriend Ava were snuggled in one of the oversized corner chairs.
It was good to see old friends again. Since Diaz and Jessie had gotten married, they’d bought a house and didn’t hang out at Wild Riders headquarters that much anymore. Shadoe and Spence were talking about getting married soon, too, though Shadoe said she might string Spence along for another year or two, which made Spence growl and Shadoe laugh.
“Heard about your vacation,” Diaz said as AJ slid into one of the chairs. “You two manage to find trouble wherever you go, don’t you?”
“We try.”
“Got a new bullet wound to show off, I hear,” Shadoe said to Pax. “That should impress the ladies.”
“Uh-huh.”
Shadoe’s gaze shifted to Lily, and then to Jessie, who shrugged and asked, “What the hell is up with you two? You’re usually the most talkative out of all of us and you’ve barely said two sentences.”
“Just tired, I guess.”
“It’s more than that, AJ,” Spence said, plopping his booted feet on top of the coffee table. “Spill.”
AJ shrugged. “Nothing to talk about.”
“I know that look,” Jessie said, leaning on the arm of the sofa, her arm around Diaz. “I never thought I’d see the day.”
“I think you’re right,” Shadoe said. “Dear God, the mighty have fallen.”
AJ frowned. It was always like this when the guys got together. Now that they all had women, it had gotten even worse. “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”
“You’re in love,” Jessie said.
AJ didn’t answer.
“Oh, my God, you are.” Shadoe looked to Pax. “How’s this going to affect your mighty twosome in the sex department?”
Pax didn’t answer, either.
“Holy shit,” Spence said. “You, too? Same woman or did you find two?”
“Am I missing something?” Ava asked.
Rick whispered in her ear. Ava’s eyes widened, then she smiled. “Sounds fun.”
“Not on your life,” Rick said. “You’re a one-man woman.”
“I miss all the fun,” she said, crossing her arms and affecting a pout.
“But Pax and AJ never did.” Lily winked. “But I think their wildcat days must be over now that they’re in lurrrrrve.”
“Don’t you all have places to go?” Pax asked.
“Not at the moment.” Diaz leaned forward and clasped his hands together. “So . . . the old love bug finally bit the two of you, huh? And here I thought I’d be the last holdout.”
“Hey.” Jessie slugged him in the shoulder. “You fell hard and fast.”
Diaz dragged Jessie onto his lap. “You seduced me.”
She laughed. “Bullshit.” But she kissed him.
The last thing AJ needed to be around right now was a couple in love. Or multiple couples in love. “Get a room.”
“Hey, honey, you wanna talk about it?” Jessie asked, sliding off Diaz’s lap to come over and sit on the arm of his chair.
“No, I really don’t.”
Shadoe stopped him. “We were just teasing you like we always do. We didn’t mean to hurt your feelings.”
He pulled her into a hug. “Feelings aren’t hurt. Now go cuddle with that moron you seem to love.”
She grinned. “Okay. Are you sure nothing’s wrong?”
“Nothing a good workout won’t solve.”
Shadoe nodded. “I understand.”
AJ went to the gym to beat the shit out of the punching bag.
After he’d worked up a sweat for an hour or so, he decided even a physical workout wasn’t going to help.
“You miss her.”
He grabbed a towel, not bothering to look at Pax. “Maybe.”
Pax moved into the gym and took a seat on the metal chair. “Me, too.”
Now AJ turned to Pax. “You love her.”
Pax lifted his gaze to AJ. “Yeah, I do. So do you.”
AJ leaned against the wall. “It wouldn’t work. She’s there, we’re . . . everywhere.”
“They’ve all made it work.”
“Who?”
“All our friends here. Mac, Diaz, Spence, Rick. None of them ever thought their relationships would work. Now look at them.”
“That’s different. They’re different.” AJ pushed off the wall and moved toward the punching bag again.
“Bullshit. They’re no different than you and me. They just wanted it bad enough to make it work.”
AJ shifted his gaze back to Pax. “And you’re saying we don’t?”
“You and me aren’t really the most experienced when it comes to love. We’ve always made it about sex, deliberately choosing women who we know were only in it for the fun. Teresa wasn’t like that. She’s a forever kind of woman.”
AJ yanked off his gloves and grabbed his water bottle, pulling up the chair across from Pax. “You want forever.”
“Yeah.”
“With Teresa.”
“I love her. I know you do, too. We’ve spent our whole lives running from what scares us, afraid those we love won’t love us back.”
“She let us leave.”
“Yeah, she did. You know why?”
AJ sighed and leaned back in his chair. “Because she loves us.”
TERESA SAT IN THE BACK OFFICE OF THE BAR DOING PAPERWORK,
spitting out a curse when she added up the figures wrong for the fifth time in a row.
“Goddammit.” She crumpled up the paper and tossed it in the trash can. “Pull your head out of your ass, idiot.”
“You yelling at that piece of paper or yourself?”
Joey stood in the office doorway.
“What do you think?”
“I think you’ve been a miserable, snarling bitch since AJ and Pax left a few days ago.”
She stood and put the ledger away. “I have not.”
“Sis, we’re twins, remember? I know you. Sit down and talk to me.”
She slammed the door shut on the file cabinet and fell into her chair, rubbing her fingers over the throbbing ache in her temples.
“You love him, don’t you?”
She lifted her gaze to her brother. “I love
them
, Joey.”
Joey’s eyes widened. He came in and sat in the chair across from her desk. “Both of them?”
“Yes. Both of them.”
Joey laughed. “Tart.”
Then she laughed. “Asshole.”
“So what happened? You told them you loved them and they left anyway?”
“Not exactly. I did tell Pax I loved him, but it was a near-death situation. And I’m pretty sure he didn’t believe me.”
“So basically you didn’t tell them. Why not?”
“They have their own lives, their careers. I didn’t want to hold them back.”
“Sometimes guys need to know you love them. We make terrible psychics, Teresa. It’s just not in our genetic makeup. We like things simple and spelled out. Sometimes you even have to hit us over the head with it.”
“And if I told them, then what? They would have just felt bad when they left. I couldn’t do that to them. We went into this knowing they were going to leave.”
“I think all of you were afraid of being hurt, so none of you wanted to take that first step.”
She arched a brow. “Giving love advice now?”
“I love you. I want you to be happy.”
Her heart swelled. “I love you, too. And I am happy.”
“Not happy enough. If you want them, tell them. Then figure out a way to make it work.”
TERESA THOUGHT ABOUT WHAT JOEY HAD SAID, AND HALFWAY
through her shift that night, she realized maybe he was right. Maybe she’d given up, let them go too easily.
God, she missed them, missed their scent, the feel of their skin against hers, the way they kissed her and touched her, the way they made her laugh. She ached inside from missing them so much, and her bed was just so damned empty she hadn’t been able to sleep in it since they’d left.
She popped a couple beers for a customer, then pulled her phone out of her pocket, her palms sweaty as she contemplated calling AJ or Pax and asking if maybe they’d meet her this weekend. They might be on assignment in another state by now. Would they hate being bothered?
And when had she become such a coward? She’d survived rape, kidnapping and nearly being killed. She could damn well survive a fucking phone call and possible rejection. It certainly wouldn’t be the worst thing that had ever happened to her.