She heard his footsteps behind her, but she didn’t turn around. Victoria was seething. “Victoria.” He called to her, from behind. She stopped walking, but didn’t turn around. “If you want to talk, you can talk to my back. I expect it’s the least offensive part of me.” She heard Roman sigh heavily from behind her. “Look…let’s just try to do this task. Our…personal feelings are just going to get in the way.”
Victoria was genuinely shocked. She hadn’t expected him to be this logical, and frankly, it was refreshing. “Alright, then. Friends?” She stuck her hand out, watching Roman carefully. He looked down at her hand and paused, as if he were deciding on whether or not he wanted to agree. After a few more minutes of silence, he grabbed her hand and shook it firmly. “Friends.”
The two remained there, awkwardly avoiding each other’s eyes. Victoria started to step forward, to get closer to Roman so they could discuss their next moves. They’d had many a conversations with her wrapped in his arms. But she stopped short, reminding herself that that isn’t what friends do.
“
So, where do we start?” She asked, hoping she didn’t sound overeager. Roman smiled, apparently relieved that she was making an effort. “I was thinking we could do a little bit more training, during the day, since you sort of got unlucky with the training before.” They both grimaced, their thoughts lingering to Raela, and the unfortunate incident that was Victoria’s stabbing.
“
So…the usual spot, to, you know, get on with it?” Roman asked, suddenly. Victoria looked up, squinting. She didn’t quite catch his meaning. “Get on with it…?” She asked slowly, as the suggestion hung awkwardly in the air. “Get on with the training, I mean.” Roman added quickly, with a cursory, nervous look at what seemed to be a particularly interesting spot right above Victoria’s forehead. “Right, okay.” She said, slowly. “Right. Uh.” Roman stepped quickly to the left, and around her. “I’ll show you where it is, again. Follow me.” “Okay, right.”
As she followed Roman out of the convent, she hung her head in embarrassment. That hadn’t gone as well as she’d hoped, and the newfound awkwardness that had suddenly begun pervading every aspect of their relationship, well, Victoria didn’t know how long she could live with that. Grace had never told her that all the extra space she would be getting, would be filled to the brim with tension.
She followed Roman to their training spot. As she stepped into the clearing, she found that her embarrassment fell away, as she reveled in the comfortable feeling of familiarity. The clearing was just as she’d left it, what seemed like months ago; shady, secluded. Her eyes fell upon the rock, upon which she and Roman had kissed, last time they were here, and she felt a tiny pang in her heart. It was not something she would readily admit to, but for some odd reason, she felt like she needed Roman.
“
Are you ready?” His voice shook Victoria from her thoughts, and she whirled around to see Roman standing in one of the fighting positions he’d showed her, but the name, or how it was done slipped her mind completely. “I guess so. I think I’m getting rusty, though.” She said, whilst shrugging, and attempting to mimic his position.
“It’s like this, remember?” She shook her head to indicate that she didn’t, and he smiled apologetically and shifted his footing. “Okay, put your feet like this. Right foot in front of the other. Crouch a bit. Yes, that it’s it” Victoria moved to follow his instructions. “See? It’s easy. Just basic defense. Make sure you keep one hand behind your back, and the other near your dagger at all times.” Roman demonstrated the move. “See, come at me, like an attacker” He gestured to her with both hands, before falling back into the position.
Victoria smiled, and made large, exaggerated moves towards Roman. “I’m attacking you!” She said, unable to keep laughter from creeping into her voice. “Victoria, this is serious.” He responded, but he said it as if he were trying to convince himself as well. As she neared, Roman whipped an imaginary dagger from inside his robe, and made a stabbing motion in her direction.
“
In all honesty, Victoria, that was probably how Raela got you. It’s a basic defense move, but it can be used for offense as well.” Victoria felt her face fall. She’d nearly been killed over a basic move. One you should have known, the nasty little voice in her head piped up.
“
No, Victoria, it’s alright, really. You didn’t know it, and it’s not your fault. We just have to focus on learning it now.” Roman smiled tentatively, as if he were unsure as to how she might react. At last, Victoria smiled back. “You’re right, I guess. But how is it you know so much more than me? We’re nearly the same age.” Roman looked at her and frowned. “I guess there’s a lot you don’t know. I’m not sure why Sister Katherine would have kept you in the dark about so much, but I suppose she has her reasons.”
Victoria felt her anger flare at Roman’s words, as she realized that they were all true. Sister Katherine had indeed kept her in the dark, her entire life. She’d always known of the Other Sisterhood’s existence. That sort of thing was hard to hide, especially when you actually lived in the convent. But Sister Katherine had failed to tell her that the other nuns had a family, and had a choice. Hell, she hadn’t even realized she had her own choice, until Grace told her. She wondered what other details about her life Sister Katherine had conveniently left out, but most of all, she wondered why.
“
Victoria, hey, are you listening?” “Uh, yes. Go on.” She turned her attention back to Roman, who was now peering down at her, evidently concerned.
“
Alright, I said, that, at least for the Other Brotherhood, you are inducted as soon as you want to be, really. My parents sent me to be a part of the Good Brotherhood when I was about 10. Shortly after, I learned of the Other Brotherhood, and demanded that I be inducted.” Roman’s face darkened for a moment. “I don’t know if that was really the best decision for me, at the time.” “Why?” Victoria settled down on the grass besides him, as she found herself growing increasingly enraptured by his tale.
“
It’s not something I really like to discuss.” “Why?” “I just don’t.” He said, but this time, with an edge to his voice. “Don’t you have some things like that? Personal things?” Victoria looked down at her knees as she thought about this. “Well, I did, but someone named Roman came along, and decided that he was going to inform me of my innermost thoughts. If I had any personal thoughts, you did your best to make sure they weren’t any longer.” She said calmly, surprising herself more than anything. It had certainly irritated her at the time, that he could just get in her head and tell her how she felt, but in retrospect, it was kind of funny.
“
So, what happened?” Victoria treaded forward carefully. Roman had always been privy to her personal beliefs, but never once had she had the same sort of discussions with him.
“
I killed someone.”
For a moment, Victoria wondered if someone had replaced her heart with a tin can, because to tell the absolute truth, Roman’s confession raised no response in her whatsoever. “Okay, so you killed someone. That’s what the Other Brotherhood does. It’s really not that shocking.”
“
I killed lots of people.”
“
Okay.”
“
I liked it.”
“
Okay. I’m sure I don’t need to tell you this, but I think I like it too.”
“
I killed someone innocent.”
“
So? A death is a death.”
“
But this guy was innocent! He had a family, he had a life, and I took it from him.”
“
Are you still going on about this Roman, seriously?”
“
Yes, Victoria, seriously. I feel bad about it. Why don’t you?”
“
Oh, I don’t know Roman, perhaps I have a wooden heart, who knows. But the fact is, you did it. I don’t know the whole situation or anything, but I do know this. If you wanted to stop working for the Other Brotherhood, since it’s getting in the way of your righteousness, then just stop. It’s that simple. Just stop. Work for the Good Brotherhood, feed some poor children, and feel better about yourself.”
“
It’s not that simple.”
“
Why isn’t it? You actually had the choice, didn’t you? Well, I had the choice, I guess, but that’s a different matter entirely” Victoria waved her hand dismissively.”
“
I can’t stop.”
“
Why?” Victoria asked, exasperatedly.
“
I don’t want to.”
Victoria narrowed her eyes. “So, you mean to tell me, that all this time, when you were complaining about me getting my “thrills” from this stuff, which, by the way, I’ve never actually killed anyone like you have, you were getting the same rush? And you were telling me I was wrong?” Victoria rolled her eyes as far back as they would go. “Oh boy. You’re the biggest hypocrite I’ve ever met, in my life.”
“
No, I’m not!”
“
Yes, you are. I’ll never meet a hypocrite as big as you. You’re the king of hypocrites really. And you rule over Hypocrite Land, too. Is it nice there?”
“
Victoria, stop, seriously.”
Victoria stopped talking for a moment. Even if he was a hypocrite, the least she could do was hear him out, she supposed. “What?”
“
I didn’t want you to enjoy killing, because I thought you were better than me.”
“
Better than you?”
“
You were raised in the convent, not the Other Sisterhood, up until very recently. I knew that you found the Other Sisterhood interesting and all, because I watched you, a few months ago, though.” He said, apologetically. “But, you were still a good person. I saw you argue with Sister Katherine over lying to the poor children. I really thought you were something. I never did that. I accepted the Other Brotherhood without asking, without caring. At least you cared. And that made you a better person, to me.”
Victoria stared back at Roman, unsure of what to say. It was the first time he’d ever really bared his soul to her, and unfortunately, he chose to do it at a time when they were broken up, so Victoria found herself treading carefully. “You really think I’m a better person than you?” Roman nodded, fervently. “Yes.”
Victoria sighed. “You know, Roman, I don’t know a lot about this, but maybe we’re looking at this too narrowly. Not everything is so black and white. We don’t have to be separated into good and bad people, right? We just do good and bad things.” She bit her lip, instinctively. It all sounded good, but she found herself wondering how practical it was, in the real world, in her real life. How could she, or anyone justify running a convent, and an assassin’s guild out of the same building? Tending to kids by day, and killing by night?
“
But Sister Katherine is so good, and kind. How can she be?” Roman murmured, more to himself than to her. Victoria sighed heavily. “I don’t know. I really don’t. It makes me feel…lost” She admitted, feeling somewhat lame for doing so. “Me too.” Roman muttered, as the two of them remained seated on the grassy forest floor, too deep in thought to resume their training for the day.
The following day, Victoria and Roman met for training again. This time, there was a marked change in mood. They set to the training with a fervor neither of them had shown before, and by the end of the day, when they’d finally collapsed to the grassy floor, their expressions were grim, and unchanging. All morality questions aside, the task in which they had volunteered for needed to be completed, and as Roman told Victoria, while disappearing into the forest before nightfall, when taking on a task, an assassin is always expected to put his life on the line. “If he doesn’t finish it, quickly and efficiently”, Roman said, as he brushed past her shoulder in the darkness, “Be sure, that’ll be the way he dies. The code, of an assassin.”
“
I guess it’s time then.” Victoria said, as she stood with Roman in the forest clearing. They’d been training for a week, and while it was not nearly enough time, Sister Katherine had informed her that the Board member who’d ordered the hit was getting antsy. “I guess so.” Roman replied, softly.
As the big moment grew nearer and nearer, Victoria found herself feeling the weight of her break up with Roman. It wasn’t anything he said, but rather, it was what he didn’t say. She’d told herself that she would have a fantastic time even if she had to drag Roman along, but she couldn’t help but notice how much that lessened the fun. On the plus side, however, their new-found friendship was getting less awkward, as there seemed to be some unspoken rule that whenever conversation turned too intimate, someone should bring up the weather.
“
So, what now?” She asked, fingering her dagger nervously. She didn’t suppose that they could just walk up to the Prince’s residence and assassinate him. “We watch. Remember?” Victoria didn’t. Much to her dismay, her memory was still a tad fuzzy, probably from her injury.
“
We’ve got to watch for a few days. Learn our target, and see what the best way is, to complete this. It’s all about patience. Do you have the maps?” Victoria nodded, and withdrew several folded pieces of paper from her robes and handed them to Roman. He in turn unfolded them and scanned over them quickly. “Alright. I’ve got it. This shouldn’t be too hard. It’s all right here.”