Rise of Legends (The Kin of Kings Book 2) (28 page)

She hoped to get better before Cleve returned, so she could truthfully tell Reela that it was all right if she and Cleve went back to sharing a bed. But at this point, Effie wasn’t sure she could make it through the night without her friend’s touch.

When Reela awoke, Effie asked her, “How are you doing without Cleve here?”

Reela rubbed her eyes and thought about the question for a long time. Effie was used to these pauses when Reela was asked something difficult, for she wouldn’t say something she didn’t fully mean. Finally, she replied, “I miss him and I worry about him, but it’s not difficult. I think it might be if you weren’t here, though.” She kissed Effie on the cheek.

Battle training had taken the place of regular training at the Academy, reminding Effie all too well of last year when it became difficult to breathe every time she remembered they were at war. She’d grown stronger since then, now able to envision herself standing against hordes of enemies without feeling her chest tightening.

She hadn’t seen Wilfre since they’d returned, and she was glad for it. Though she was curious to know what had happened with Trentyre. Effie had expected Terren to ask her and Reela to join the group that would travel back through the forest with Wilfre into the abandoned Slugari colony. They would dig beneath Trentyre, then create a tunnel to the surface. But Effie and Reela hadn’t seen Terren in a while. Effie wondered if he’d sent a different team of people. Perhaps Wilfre’s complaints had changed the headmaster’s mind about her and her friends.

It had gotten easier to train each day that passed since Alex’s death. She actually could focus now while shooting fireballs at training dummies or out from the top of the Academy’s walls. She wondered what Tauwin’s men thought of all the fireballs that would fall thousands of feet short from their camp—whether they understood the mages were preparing for an attack and not actually trying to shoot them a mile away. Hopefully it scared them, though Effie imagined it would be difficult to be scared being on the side with so many more soldiers. Sometimes she had to remind herself that she was just as much of a soldier as the warriors clashing swords during every hour of daylight. She didn’t always feel like one compared to them. Especially compared to Cleve and Alex.

When Effie came home one day, Steffen called from his room, “Effie, is that you?”

“Yes, why?”

“Meet me in the front room after you change,” he said, knowing her habit of getting out of her uncomfortable training gown as soon as she got home. The fabric was thick to protect her from burns, but it was rough against her skin. She put on a clean shirt and some less clean pants, then returned to the front to find Steffen sitting at their table.

“Reela, we’re ready for you,” he called out.

The psychic came out of her room and sat beside Steffen. “So what is it we’re doing?” she asked.

Steffen gestured for Effie to sit. He looked more serious than usual, as if burdened by unfortunate news. Steffen was often the first student to know something, a perquisite of his friendship with Jack Rose.

Effie sat and untied her long hair, giving her hands something to do as she waited for Steffen to speak. He had three sheets of paper in front of him, all either blank or facedown. He arched his back to access his pocket, then withdrew a potion in a vial and set it carefully on the table as if it were dangerous.

“I hope you know neither of us is stupid enough to take that.” Effie pointed at the black substance.

“It’s only there if you want to take it.”

“That depends,” Reela said. “Did you invent it?”

Effie and Reela had assisted Steffen many times in testing his potions, more so when they were younger and hadn’t learned their lesson yet.

Steffen frowned. “Partially. Jack Rose helped.”

Effie scoffed while Reela calmly reminded Steffen, “We agreed a long time ago that we wouldn’t be helping you anymore with your trials.”

“But—”

Reela put up her hand to stop him. “I know. This is very important, and it needs to be tested. But every potion is very important to you. We’re not going to do it.”

“This one is different.”

Reela squinted and leaned toward him.

He took on a sad look. “I wouldn’t lie to you. It really is different. I invented this specifically for you and Effie…and I think also for myself.”

“You think?” Effie challenged.

He scratched his head. “It’s difficult to tell because I don’t remember a lot. I’ve already taken it.”

Effie was confused. Steffen usually remembered everything.

Reela seemed intrigued, though, a wry smile upon her lips. “All right, Steffen what did you make for us?”

Effie stood. “I don’t want to know.”

“It’s supposed to help you,” Steffen argued.

“It always is.” She started to leave.

“Really, this one is different, Effie. Please!”

The desperation in Steffen’s tone came as a shock. He was usually as mellow as a cat sitting beneath a sunbeam. Perhaps there
was
something different about this potion. She sat again just to appease him.

She was also somewhat curious, she soon admitted to herself.

“What’s the paper for?”

“I’ll explain in a moment. First let me tell you about the potion.” He cleared his throat as he often did before delving into a serious subject. “I know how much pain you’ve been in since we lost Alex.” The mood of the table changed; Reela’s smile shifted to a frown. Effie thought about leaving again, but she told herself to be brave. This conversation might hurt, but she could endure it. “I’ve come up with something that can help.”

“Help?” She couldn’t help but laugh snidely. “Unless it’s a way to bring him back from the dead, I don’t see how any potion can help.”

“It can help, Effie. It will allow you to forget him.”

“Forget him?”

“Yes. Completely.”

“Steffen!” Reela scolded, her face red. “How can you even suggest that?”

He seemed surprised by her anger. “I don’t mean to offend. I just thought Effie and you would like to have the option.”

“And me?” Reela pressed her hand against her chest. “Are you going to offer it to everyone who misses Alex until it’s like he never existed?”

Steffen calmly replied, “I thought you might want it for the brother you lost.”

Reela gasped. “My bastial stars, you’re mad. No one would want to forget someone so close to them.”

Effie hadn’t given herself time to think about it yet, though she found it surprising that Reela was so quick to hate such an invention.

Steffen seemed confused as he spoke gently. “If we don’t remember someone, then we can’t feel any pain at losing them.”

He has a point.

“And we can feel no joy at remembering them,” Reela added coldly. “Or comfort, or love, or anything. Our memories are the most important thing we have. Without them, we’re just living moment to moment. There’s no purpose to life—to anything. We’d have no legacy if we forgot everything. We wouldn’t even know our own family! Memories make us human, the good
and
the bad. We can’t choose which ones we want to remember just because they bring us pain. That’s changing the past. It’s delusional!”

Effie gestured for Reela to calm down. “I’m not thinking about taking it, but I am curious. Steffen, you said you tested it on yourself already?”

“Yes, after ensuring it didn’t harm rats, I wanted to test it on myself before offering it to either of you. It’s safe…at least I think it is. I didn’t feel very well this morning, but I’m fine now.”

“When did you take it?”

“Last night. It put me to sleep soon after I took it, as it should do to you.”

Reela looked horrified. “So you’ve forgotten Alex?”

“No, someone else.” He looked guilty. “I think we were very close to each other.”

“Marratrice?” Effie guessed.

“No, I still remember her. I couldn’t choose her because of reasons I’ll explain later, but I wouldn’t want to forget her anyway.” His mouth twisted as he looked down at one of the blank pieces of paper. “Though I’m not sure I really wanted to forget the person I chose, either. I think I did it for other reasons.”

“Who did you forget?” Effie asked.

“Gabby Elegin.”

“My sister?” Effie screamed. Reela gasped. The psychic’s reaction confirmed this wasn’t some joke done in poor taste.

Steffen started to speak but then closed his mouth and let out his breath. “Perhaps this was a bad idea.”

Reela shook her head at him. “Steffen, it really was.”

“I don’t remember much of my reasoning. But I do remember that I needed to choose someone who had a strong connection with me, in the same way that you and Alex had a connection, Effie. I didn’t want to choose either of you because that would make our current situation too chaotic and confusing.”

Effie rolled her eyes. “I’m at least glad you didn’t do that. But Gabby? Are you really telling me you don’t remember her?”

“I’m trying to remember right now, but only the name sounds familiar.”

Effie could feel rage building. Her sister was going to be devastated. “You truly have no memories of spending any time with her?” Steffen shook his head. “You don’t remember speaking with her even once?” Again, he shook his head. “Touching her? Kissing her?
Loving
her?” Effie’s voice rose higher and louder, but he just shook his head sadly. “You must remember sharing a bed with her!”

“Sorry, I don’t. But I do know that I love her and I have done all those things.”

“How do you know, if you can’t remember?” Reela asked, her voice laden with judgment.

He slid forward one of the papers. “I wrote myself a letter.”

Neither Effie nor Reela flipped it over. Whatever he’d written didn’t matter. Gritting her teeth, Effie wanted to rip it up just to spite him.

“Why would you choose
her
? This is going to kill Gabby. You know how much she loves you. At least you did at one point.” He opened his mouth, but she continued before he could come up with some excuse. “You’re such a selfish idiot sometimes. You get so caught up in your new potions that you don’t realize what they’re doing to other people. And now you’ve done something you can’t undo, but you don’t even feel guilty because you don’t remember! You’ve broken her heart just to test a potion, Steffen. Why would you do this?”

He looked as if he was holding back tears. Effie felt a moment of guilt. Perhaps she’d gone too far.

No, he was the one who’d gone too far.

“I’m really sorry if this was a mistake, but I can’t remember what I was thinking, so I’m unable to argue my case. All I have is what I wrote before I took the potion. Please read it.”

Reela flipped over the paper, and Effie couldn’t help but read it.

“Steffen, you have forgotten a beautiful young woman named Gabby Elegin. She’s Effie’s younger sister by two and a half years, but more importantly, you love her. You are probably confused, so allow me to explain. As I write this, I have feelings about Gabby that sometimes seem impossible to overcome. I have a great fear that I will never see her again, or that if I do, it’ll only be a glimpse of her dead body. She’s defiant, which is one of the things you like about her, but, as you know, people like her are usually the first killed in a war like this. This thought sometimes prevents me from sleeping, eating, or doing anything that I normally enjoy.

There’s immeasurable suffering just from this fear of losing her, yet Effie has already lost Alex. They shared the same connection that you do with Gabby. It might even have been stronger. By testing the potion on yourself, and using Gabby as the subject to forget, it will prove to Effie that no harm will come to her if she decides to take it for Alex. She can see how the potion has affected you and decide if she wants to use it for herself. If you chose to forget someone who you didn’t love, the results couldn’t be as trusted as they are now. You’ve done this somewhat for yourself, but mostly for Effie. Make sure to offer Reela the potion as well, although something tells me she’s not as likely to take it.

When you see Gabby again, apologize and give her the letter sitting beside this one. You want to be back with her. You can trust me because I am you.

Lastly, remember to document everything for Jack Rose.”

Effie hardly knew what to think, though she felt tears welling in her eyes. He’d done this for her. Steffen had seen how much she’d been suffering and had invented a potion because it was the only way he knew how to help.

She set down the paper and took a deep breath as she thought. But then Steffen flipped over the second sheet and she gasped to see an incredibly detailed drawing of Alex. It had been a while since Effie had last seen Steffen draw anything, and she’d forgotten how talented he was. Alex’s trimmed beard and curly hair looked so real it was as if she could feel it with her fingers when she rubbed her hand across. His eyes almost shined, they looked so alive.

She had to push the paper away, for she had begun to weep and didn’t want to ruin it with her tears.

“I’m sorry if I’ve upset you,” Steffen said, “but it seems that I had your best interest at heart.”