Rising Up: Finding Me book 1 (36 page)

"Is it any surprise?  My girlfriend nearly gets killed today!  Look I'm gonna crash.  I hope your flight is good and call me when you get there Lake."  I accept the pat on my back from my cousin.

"Sure thing."  He walks away.  "Oh Mason, keep loving that woman, she's about to break and there may not be enough of her left to put back together."  His head drops and I know he hasn’t got over losing Maddie yet.

With a heavy heart and an aching head I lock up and go to bed.  Ginny is lying on her side and I can tell she's not sleeping but I get undressed and climb in behind her and pull her soft body against mine, my hands reach round to stroke her swollen stomach and I feel the movements of our child as it acknowledges my presence.

"I love you Ginny, don't build your wall again I need to reach you."  I kiss her back between her shoulder blades.

"I love you too Mason and I'm trying really hard not to fall apart.  Don't let me break, I need you."

The pain in her voice nearly breaks me.  "Never babe, never.  I've got you I promise."  My head dips back down and I kiss down her neck and across her shoulder, I can feel her shudder under my touch.

"Love me Mason, I need you to love me."  Her voice sounds so desolate.

I slide my tongue up and down her back as she sways her hips against me, my erection growing quickly against her.  I slide my finger down her ass and between her legs and find her wet and wanting, her moans encourage my fingers to slip inside her and I feel her muscles clench tightly around them. 

Stroking her to a gentle climax, before I slip inside her and let her move against me, grinding my dick harder inside her, I have to take over and pump slowly in and out until I feel my orgasm build, reaching to her front I rub her clit hard with my thumb, my other hand strokes her breast, gently pulling on her nipples. 

We both stiffen and climax together, everything I have to give her pours inside her as I shower kisses over her back as she milks my dick, she shudders and quietly moans my name.

Sliding out of her I get a cloth to wipe her clean not wanting her to move from the bed.  "Sleep now Ginny my love."  But she has already slipped away.

*

I watch her over the next week and a half as we continue to get the house ready, and it's looking pretty good right now, and we should be on time to move in before Cookie arrives.  My mom hasn't left Ginny alone and is keeping her busy with designing the nursery, it's a good way of keeping her sitting still as they pour over websites and brochures, but as I watch her, I can see when her thoughts are troubled, I see her eyes glaze and lose all their brightness as the turn dark with worry.

"Come on babe, its show time."  We've got our appointment with our doctor.  "Let's go and see how beautiful Cookie is looking today."

My mom rolls her eyes.  "I wish you would stop calling it Cookie, it will end up having it as a nickname for the rest of his or her life, and trust me if it's a boy at eighteen and the same size as you Mason, I promise you he will hate you for calling him that in front of his pals."  She laughs to herself and shakes her head at the thought."

"Nancy if it is a boy I promise you I will not still be calling him Cookie when he graduates."  Imogen shakes her head at the thought of her bump graduating.

"Whereas I will do it just to embarrass him in front of his girlfriend."  I gather Ginny up so we can get on our way and we are both laughing as my mother tuts and bothers at us. 

I worry as we approach the doctor’s offices and I see Ginny shrink back into herself as her eyes dart about looking at every face and car surrounding us, and although she is happy when it’s just us or with family, I know she is still struggling with the potential threat surrounding her.

"Well Imogen, it looks like your baby has had a growth spurt, although I'm sure you have noticed how much bigger your bump has gotten, I'm happier now, these last two scans have been excellent.  How are you finding it away from work? "

"It's fine."  Imogen is just looking at the screen and not really paying any attention.

"Is everything okay with you dear?  You seem very quiet today.  Mason has Imogen been sleeping and eating well?"  I can see her questioning me bothers Imogen.

"I'm here, you can ask me."  Getting up off the examination table she wipes her stomach and picks up the new picture.  "Are we ready to leave?"

"Yes, you can leave.  Keep up the good work Imogen, it's not long now."  The concern on the doctor’s face is obvious to me but Ginny keeps looking down.

"Okay, fine.  C'mon Mason I want to go." 

To say I'm surprised by her attitude and abruptness is putting it mildly.  "Imogen, just hang on minute will you.  Dr. Markson asked a question and you haven't answered her.  What's wrong babe?"

"Okay, yes Dr. Markson I'm eating and sleeping well, because I have round the clock supervision and am fed wholesome home-cooked meals constantly due to the fact that after surviving being tied up, raped and beaten to within an inch of my life, I now have another psychotic lunatic bitch hell bent on ending my life. 

So excuse me for not jumping for joy right now, because if she gets her own way neither I nor my baby will be here for much longer.  Is that a good enough answer Mason?  I really want to go home now."  Her arms wrap themselves around her middle as she tries miserably to hold herself together.

I watch her walk away before turning to apologize to Dr. Markson.  "I'm, um...."  I’m struggling to find the right words for the doctor when Ginny walks back in and tears are pouring down her face.

"Oh God!  Dr. Markson, Mason I'm so so sorry, I had a bit of a difficult time of it lately.  I'm really happy that the baby has got bigger and I am excited but I think I'm just a bit overwhelmed at the moment." 

Turning to look at me she can see my heart breaking for her.  "Mason I think I need to see my therapist again.  Like today.  Can you call them for me?"

"Babe, I'll do anything for you.  Come on let's get outta here.  I love you sweetheart."

"I know you do, I just can't work out why."  Her voice is so despondent it scares me, the wall seems to be well and truly surrounding her again.

I've got my arm around her and her head is resting in the crook of my neck.  "Because, if I can quote you, you're really, really good in bed."

My heart soars when she actually laughs hard at this, just like the old Ginny would.

Imogen

I couldn't get an appointment till this afternoon, but what's another twenty four hours.  The visit to the therapist was hard and long but very beneficial, I was worried when she cleared her whole afternoon for me.  I had to face up to my fears, the real ones and the ones my imagination has been running wild with. 

Mason wanted to drive me there, but I knew I would need the time alone driving back out of the city to our home.  It really is beginning to feel like a home, but the fog that has been swirling around my head for not just the last three days and if I'm honest with myself which is something I haven't been for a while now, the fog has been there since Jake caught me, I have moments when it is lifting and sometimes it has even cleared, but it soon smothers me again. 

So after this long session where I have had to voice my fears and then face them with a clearer mind, and after dissecting the real problems from the irrational ones I do surprisingly feel better, lighter and God forbid a little bit happier. 

I can't control the outcome of my parent’s trial.  I can't control the crazy minds of both Lauren and Celia, but I can control me and I seem to have lost myself, I know Mason and his family are only trying to make me happy and to let me take this last stage of my pregnancy easy, it isn't because I can't do it myself it's more why should I do it alone.

My parents neglected me so much that I had to do things myself, and even more so after Theo left, but it is not my fault that they did this but theirs, their lack of any form of praise or affection was not because I didn't deserve any, but that they were so self-involved that they didn't care enough to give me or Theo their love or affection. 

I have to stop trying to put all the blame on my shoulders and to not feel guilty for theirs and Jake's and everyone else.  I have been blaming myself for Maddie leaving when really if they had wanted to, Maddie and Lake could have fought harder to make their relationship work, it's not a fault of mine that Mason and I met and obviously had a major connection, it should be celebrated, not hidden just because their relationship wasn't as strong.  I love and I am loved, I deserve this. 

As I turn off the main road and weave my way down to my home I see the last rays of the setting sun streak through the trees, and I have to stop and appreciate what I have. 

An epiphany, if I have to put a name to it.  That is it, it's my epiphany.  I put the car back into drive and carry on to the house, and as I pull up Mason and Phoenix are stood on the newly renovated and extended porch waiting for me. 

Sadly I can see apprehension on Mason's beautiful face, but I can't stop the smile from spreading across mine, he automatically grins back at me, his dimple causes my heart to lurch.  I actually begin to feel good again.  Thank fuck for that!  This thought makes me giggle and that is how Mason finds me when he opens my car door.

"Hi Mason, sorry to have been so long but...."

"Ginny, to see that smile across your face and to hear that giggle I would've waited a lifetime, I’m glad I didn't have to but I would have.  C'mon babe let's get inside, your dog is a disgrace by the way."

I looked down at him.  "Don't listen to him baby, he's a nasty man and you have my permission to bite him."  I run my hands down his silky fur and then pull my hand away when I notice the smell.  "What the hell is that?"  I look back down at him and he's gazing adoringly up at me.

"That is the wonderful stench of fox crap, and believe me that is sooo much better than when he first came in, he's had two baths since then."  Mason scowls down at my baby boy and I can't stop myself from laughing, a great big loud cathartic laugh that very soon has me crying, but when I put my hands up to wipe my eyes and the smell hits me again I just start all over again.

"Bad boy Phoenix!!"  I just smile at them both.  "Christ I've missed feeling like this."  And because Mason is a clever man he knows when to keep quiet even though I know he's thinking 'me too'.  "Come on lover, feed me I'm starving!"  I go to hold his hand and then think better of it.  "Think I'd better wash these don't you?"

We are sat at our makeshift table in our now beautifully fitted kitchen, the new furniture starts arriving from Monday so we won't have to look like we are squatting in our own home.

Mason looks up at me questioningly.

"What?  Have I got sauce all over my face?"  I use my napkin to wipe my mouth and chin.

"No, you look beautiful.  I'm almost afraid to ask but do you want to talk about how you got on today?"

"No, not really I'm just going to say it helped, well that's putting it mildly.  It was really good and I have sorted out the wheat from the chaff, as the saying goes.  So I am now focusing on the important things, the things I can control and the things that make me happy. 

So I'm pulling myself out of my pit of self-loathing and of guilt.  I can only work on what makes me happy, what makes us happy.  So for now I'm good.  I'm not 'cured' of all those feelings but with regular help I will be able to cope better with them."

"That's good enough for me, babe."  His face then goes very serious.  "I heard from Lake today, would you like to know what he said?"

"Is it going to make a difference if I know tonight rather than tomorrow?"  I keep my voice light even though I know this is going to be difficult to hear.

"No babe, it's nothing that can't wait till tomorrow.  Do you want an early night tonight, you must be tired?"

"I suppose so, it's been a tiring day."  I get up and start to clear all the dishes away.

"Leave them Ginny, we can do them in the morning."  He pulls my hands away from the sink, I can't wait for the dishwasher to be plumbed in.

"I'm not leaving them, what if your mum gets here before us in the morning, I don't want her to see this mess.  It will only take two minutes."

"I said leave them Imogen."  My back straightens when I hear his deep dominant voice. My panties are instantly soaked.  I'm calling them the 'right' name now!  "We are staying here tonight."  He takes my hand and leads me upstairs.

I'm led in to our bedroom and cannot believe what I see.  When I look around the room we've chosen as our master bedroom, I can't believe the effort he has put in.

In the center of the room is an enormous, and I mean enormous, wrought iron bed with four posts and draped with a gossamer fabric the color of a storm cloud, the grey silk shimmers over the top floating down the sides.  The mattress is deep and so very inviting and the sheets are varying shades of grey, white and midnight blue the whole effect is breath taking. 

I love it and want to climb into it, but a giggle escapes my mouth making Mason look at me quizzically.

“What'cha laughing at?  Don't you like it?  I can change it all.”  He looks so worried as the giggle turns into a laugh.

“It's a fantastic room I love it, but it is reminding me of a certain book that involves grey, and like this room there were at least fifty shades of them.”  I glance back at him and he still doesn't get it.  “Don't sweat it Mason, I'll let you borrow my Kindle and you can read it.  But more importantly, let's christen the bed.”

“Hell yeah!” Picking me up and softly throwing me on the crisp sheets he starts to undress me so slowly that I'm squirming with desire for him.

Mason

I'm watching her intensely as she walks into what is going to be our bedroom, and as I take in the bed and all its furnishings it astounds me.  I've realized that with everything new she becomes very tactile, seeing her hands trail across the soft fabrics is bordering on erotic, a sensual touch here and there makes my dick twitch in my pants. 

Turning to look at me she smiles, and that makes my heart soar, but when she starts laughing and talking about a book I know it's time to get naked.

I throw her on to the bed and start undressing her, luckily most maternity clothing seems to involve elastic or are stretchy rather than having buttons and zips, so I quickly strip her of all her clothes, she lies languidly in front of me purring like a kitten.  This is not going to be a hot quick fuck, this is love-making. 

This is me showing Imogen just how much I love her, and, how much I want and need her.  By the time I have her naked in front of me my dick is so hard it hurts, my clothes hit the floor in record time and I move over her and cover her body with mine.

“Ginny? Babe look at me.  Are you happy sweetheart?  Please babe talk to me.”

“I am so much happier than I have been for a long time Mason.  You are everything I want and everything I didn't think I could have or I deserved, so the thing I'm feeling the most right now is arousal, the heat of your skin against mine is driving me wild, I want you so so much, and I can't believe I get to wake up next to you for the rest of my life.  So please make love to me before I combust and burst into flames.”

So I did, I mean what else is a hot-blooded horny man gonna do when the woman he loves says that? Leaning over her I lick down her throat and over her shoulder blade, watching her skin pucker and pebble as my hands and tongue caress every inch of her body. 

The sounds coming from Ginny are driving me wild, as she mewls and pants, if I'm not careful this will be over much quicker than either of us want.  “Ginny, my love, steady now.  Let's not take this night too fast.”  My hands are running over her warm flushed skin,

“Mason, I want you.”  Her low breathless voice penetrates my arousal and stopping my ministrations I find myself looking deep into her eyes and can see deep into her soul.

“I love you so much Ginny, I can't stop myself.”  Lifting her legs up and raising her hips I thrust deep and hard inside her.  “Oh God you feel so good, your pussy walls are clamping down on me.  Ginny, I wanted this to be slow but I need you hard now, can you take me now?”

“Mason, if you don't fuck me right now then we are over.  I mean it!  I want you inside me right now please.” Listening to the desperation in her voice sends me over the edge as I ram into her hard, pulling back just to go again and again, I can see the sweat on my forehead dripping down onto her breast spurring me on harder and harder.

“Shit, God, fuck, yes!  Mason!  Don't stop, I'm coming!  Oh God I'm coming!”

As her strangled cries fill the room her muscles clamp down hard on my dick squeezing and pulsing hard around me.  “Fuck Imogen!”  Throwing my head back and roaring as my seed erupts from my body filling her hot tight pussy. 

I lower her legs back down and can't stop myself from running my hands over her stomach and I see and feel the ripples as the baby moves to my touch.

"He loves you touching him, he can definitely tell the difference between my touch and yours."  Her soft satiated voice makes my heart burst.

We are lying on our sides facing each other and it seems like we are reconnecting again.  "Do you realize that we both call it him now?  Will you be disappointed if he turns out to be a girl?"  I lean up and rest my head on my hand so I can see her face more clearly as she has turned to lie on her back looking up at the gossamer fabric over our heads.

"God Mason no!  I just got fed up of saying 'it' it was so impersonal, I think if I really got my choice I would like a little girl, I want to be able to show her how amazing it is to be a girl, how powerful we can be and with the right loving background that a woman can achieve everything and more than a man can. 

But it doesn't matter as long as he or she is told and knows that they are loved every day I will be happy."  She faces me now.  "What would you prefer Mason, if you really had a choice?"

"Jeez, Imogen.  Um... I really don't mind.  I know you are going to say that that's just a cop-out but really the pros are high on both sides, yes I'd love a boy to play ball with and to teach to fish and to sail and I know why you're frowning, you do all that with a girl, but a girl won't always want to fish or play baseball. 

But a girl that loves her daddy more than any other man until she is an adult herself, yeah I could be happy with that too.  I just want it, her, him, here with us safely and soon."  I lean in to kiss her and her eyes have tears in them so instead of asking her as I usually would, I just kiss them away.

"I don't know what I have ever done to deserve you Mason, but I'm so glad you are mine, I'm never letting you go."

With that she slips her leg over mine and is straddling me, her wet core rubbing against my quickly hardening dick.  I look at her hooded eyes as she rises up on her knees and eases herself down on me, the perfect O shape of her mouth as she lets me fill her completely. 

Letting her control the pace I just hold her hips and let her slowly ride me.  Her hair is pushed off her face and is hanging almost to her waist as she leans her head back and grinds down hard on me, her breasts are full and heavy, and not just because of the pregnancy but with want and need, and her soft round stomach that just looks so beautiful to me. 

I can't keep my hands still and reach up to cup her breasts and pull her nipples between my fingers and thumbs causing her to release a low deep groan spurring me on even more.  Leaning over me know I know she wants me to take her breasts in to my mouth, running my tongue from one to the other across the deep valley of her cleavage I take my time to lick and nip each one, before I feel her tighten around me and sitting back upright again and cupping her own breasts she rides me hard until we both cry out long and loud.