RISK (22 page)

Ellie

I stand at the entrance to his building. I'm late. I promised him I'd be at his apartment door by five o'clock, but I had no idea what to wear. Adley wasn't around to offer her advice, so I tried on several different outfits before finally deciding on a pair of jeans rolled up at the ankles and an oversized light blue T-shirt knotted at my hip. It doesn't show too much skin. That's the look I was going for.

"Ms. Madden?"

I turn at the sound of a male voice saying my name. I know it's not Nolan. His voice is deeper with a clear timbre. This voice is higher. There's a pretense of something regal there.

"Hi, Dino," I say after glancing at his name tag. The only reference I have for how to speak to a doorman is my encounters with the man who worked in the building where Tad's condo was in Vegas. Paul was his name, and when he wasn't busy rushing to help the residents in and out of taxis, Ubers or their chauffeur driven cars, he was doing card tricks on the small desk he stood guard by.

My greeting takes Dino by surprise. He takes a step back and smiles. "Mr. Black told me to expect the most beautiful redhead in the world. He wasn't kidding."

Since Dino is cashing a paycheck partially funded by Nolan, I take the compliment with a grain of salt. "You're kind. I'm late. I should get up there I guess."

"It's your first time meeting Miss May, isn't it?"

The question is too personal, but it's welcome. I need a pep talk before I meet Nolan's daughter and since Adley was nowhere to be found, Dino is second best. "Yes. Do I look nervous?"

He holds his index finger and thumb an inch apart in the air. "Just a wee bit."

I suck in a deep breath and push my shoulders back.
              "She's the sweetest girl you'll ever meet." He marches over to his desk near a bank of elevators. "She drew me this picture just this afternoon."

I look down at the sheet of white paper that's decorated with a tall semi-rectangular building, a stick figure wearing a large square hat and another figure next to it with enormous ears on the side of its head. "It's adorable."

"This is our building." He points out as his hand glides over the paper. "This is me in the hat and that's Montgomery, the monkey Miss May wants to adopt."

I giggle. "I heard about the monkey."

"If you smile like that, you'll win her heart." He moves to press the elevator call button. "They're on the top floor. Penthouse One. Just knock on the door and he'll be waiting."

"Thank you." I squeeze his forearm through his perfectly pressed uniform just as the elevator doors fly open.

***

"Wow," I whisper under my breath when he swings open the door to his apartment.

It's not the view of the city that's visible on the far wall. It's not even the polished marble floors. It's him. Nolan is standing directly in front of me. A small girl with long blonde hair is next to him. They both smile at me and when they do the pink headbands sporting bunny ears sitting atop their heads move slightly in sync with each other. The fact that they're both wearing jeans and white T-shirts only adds to how perfect they are together.

"It's her." The little girl jumps up and down. "Daddy, is this her?"

He scoops her up easily with one arm. She leans her hands on his shoulder. "This is Daddy's friend Ellie. You should invite her in, May."

She nods and takes a deep breath. She mumbles something under her breath before she speaks, loudly and slowly. "Would you like to come in, Ellie?"

I stare at her. She's incredible. Her eyes are a rich shade of brown, her nose a perfect small replica of Nolan's. As she turns to look at him, I catch her profile. There's no denying she's his daughter. I see it in her smile.

"I brought you something, May," I say as I step inside. "I picked it up on my way over. That's why I was late."

"You're not late." She reaches for Nolan's wrist and looks at his watch.

"You can tell time?" I ask, trying not to sound surprised.

"Not yet." She shakes her head slightly, her bunny ears moving as she does. "Daddy is teaching me about the big hand and the little hand. He says no digital nine cents May."

She lowers her voice slightly as she tries to mimic Nolan.

"Nonsense, May," Nolan corrects her with a kiss on her cheek.

I reach into my pocket and pull out the small box that I asked the clerk at the store to wrap with a pink ribbon. "I hope you like this, May."

"I will. Presents are my favorite." She reaches her small hand toward me. "Thank you, Ellie."

I hand her the box and watch while she delicately unwraps the ribbon. She pulls open the box before her hand jumps to cover her mouth.

"Monkey earrings," she screams. "Daddy, look!"

Nolan shoots me a look that says that I'll pay for the gift later. I wiggle my brows.

She makes quick work of the packaging, pulling out both the clip-on earrings in the shape of a monkey's head. Nolan holds the packaging in one hand while he balances her in his arm.
              "This one is for Daddy." She carefully clips the earring on his left ear, taking extra time to adjust it correctly. She softly kisses his cheek before she clips the other to her right ear.

"They're pretty, Ellie." She looks at Nolan. "Is she safety, Daddy? Can I hug her?"

"She's safe," he says quietly with a dip of his chin and an arch of his brow.

I answer the silent question he poses to me. "I'd love a hug, May."

Nolan

"It's not L E, May." I write Ellie's name out on a piece of white paper sitting on my lap. "It's Ellie. See the letters I wrote here?"

May scoots out of Ellie's lap and crawls across the couch to land in mine. "Oh, Daddy. I see."

I look over at Ellie's colorful palm. May ran to her bedroom to get her markers as soon as we'd finished our pancakes. She set to work on Ellie's palm, drawing a picture of a monkey, a star and finishing it with Ellie's name written as it sounds, L E.

"It was a good guess, May." Ellie smiles at her. "It sounds like it's just an L and an E."

"My name has three letters," May announces proudly. "Daddy is teaching me the letters, so when I go to school, I'll be the smartie."

"I think you're great at writing the letters and drawing pictures."

May beams at Ellie's words. "I can draw you a picture of me. I'll get more paper."

With that, she bounces out of my lap and heads down the hallway toward her bedroom.

"You're fucking amazing," I whisper across the couch to Ellie. "She's crazy about you. I am too."

Her eyes light up. "She's a beautiful little girl, Nolan."

I was fishing for an '
I'm crazy about you too, Nolan
,' but my apparently my bait game isn't strong enough.

"Do you need anything, sir," Tilde, one of May's nannies, comes out from the kitchen. "My shift ends in thirty minutes. I've prepped a bedtime snack for May. You'll find that in the refrigerator. She had tidied her room before you arrived home earlier. I think that's everything."

"You're free to go." I glance at Ellie before I turn back to Tilde. "I'm taking May to a museum tomorrow so I won't need you until four. You can let the staff know they have the morning off."

Ellie shifts uncomfortably in her seat. I was worried when she didn't arrive at five. By the time my watch signaled its daily alarm at five thirty I was convinced she wouldn't show.  I was resigned to eating alone with May at six, as I do most days, but then the light tapping on the door erased all my doubt.

"Karen is here for the night." Tilde picks up an empty glass from the coffee table. "Enjoy your evening."

I watch Ellie as Tilde walks away. She follows her every step, not turning back to me until Tilde is out of sight.

"Tell me what you're thinking." I inch closer to her. "You look so serious. Something is going on in that head of yours."

She looks down at her hands in her lap. "It's a lot to take in. This apartment, your staff, May. It's so much, Nolan."

I know it is. Even though I was the one who cooked the pancakes, the chef I'd hired to prepare meals for May and I stood nearby. One of my housekeeping staff swooped in to clear the dishes even though I've asked them repeatedly not to do that. I want my daughter to take on more chores. Loading the dishes into the dishwasher is a task that May enjoys. The silverware is off limits for now, until she's old enough to understand safe handling of the forks and knives.

"It's just May and me that you need to worry about," I reassure her quietly. "You came here to see us. She's having a great time, Ellie. I want you to have fun too."

"I found some paper," May exclaims as she races around the corner from the hallway. "I'll draw you a picture of me that you can take home."

Ellie smiles as May climbs back into her lap. "That's the best gift in the world. I'll keep it forever."

***

"May will be asleep in a couple of hours, Ellie." I rest my hands on her shoulders. "I can give you the key for the shoebox and you can hang out there."

She looks over to where Dino is standing guard at his desk. "It's been a long day, Nolan. A great day but I'm exhausted. I think I should head home for the night."

I don’t want that. It's not just because I'm aching to be inside her again. I want time alone with her after what happened today. She met my daughter. She stepped willingly into my life and didn't run in the opposite direction.

She hugged May as she was leaving my apartment. May hugged her back, tightly. She kissed Ellie on the cheek and told her that she hoped they could be friends. Ellie nodded because the emotion she was feeling was too much. I saw the tears beading in the corners of her eyes. I saw her knees shake as she crouched down to hold May close.

"You can rest at the shoebox until I get there."

"Until you get there?" She grins. "What will happen when you get there?"

"I can draw you a picture on your hand." I whip a purple marker out of my back pocket. "May didn't touch your right hand, so there's plenty of room for me to draw my…"

"Dino will hear you if you say cock." She leans close, her voice no more than a whisper.

"Dino's hearing isn't what it used to be." I pull her to my chest. "Besides, you like talking about my cock."

"No," she says with a laugh. "You talk about it way more than I do."

"That might be true but you think about it more than I do."

"I thought about it this morning," she admits as she kisses my cheek. "I've come twice today already, so I'm good."

"My cock wasn't involved in either of those," I point out. "I want in, literally, Elle, I want in."

She taps her finger on her chin. "I suppose I could go over the practice interview for the NYPD I found online while I wait for you."

"There's that fucking spirit I was looking for."

"You mean fighting spirit, Nolan. The expression is fighting spirit and it doesn't apply here."

"I meant fucking spirit."

"Because we'll be fucking?"

I nod. "That's the spirit."

She glances behind me. "Dino heard that. He's looking over here."

"That's because you're stunning." I kiss her lips softly. "I'll be at the shoebox by ten, Ellie."

She takes my key fob when I offer it. "I'll go there and nude study. I might order pizza."

I love when she teases me. I hope that she's teasing me. "Don't let the pizza delivery guy see you naked."

"You're the only man who sees me naked." She pops up to her tiptoes to wrap her arms around my neck. "I like it that way."

I love it that way, and I never want it to change.

Ellie

"I had no idea that nude pizza was a thing." He pushes his jeans down his legs. "We should do this every Saturday night."

"I'm game." I take a bite of the large cheese pizza I ordered thirty minutes ago. "I hope you like plain cheese. It's my favorite."

"Mine too." He sits on the edge of the bed in his boxer briefs. "It's not technically nude pizza unless we're both totally naked, right?"

I look down at my pale pink bra and panties. I had taken off everything right after the pizza was delivered, but that only lasted three minutes. I pulled my bra and panties back on as I waited for Nolan to arrive.

"I'm a messy eater and I don't want any hot sauce to burn my nipples."

His eyes fall to my bra and the outline of my nipples. "If I haven't told you yet, your nipples are incredible, Ellie. They're pink and puffy and when I suck on them, they get so hard like they're aching for more."

"You make me feel really beautiful."

"You are a stunning woman." His fingers brush over my chin, tilting my head up to his. "I crave you. It's not just your body but all of you. Your mind and your spirit. There's this thing about you, Ellie. It's this sense of goodness that just is in the air whenever you're near. I feel it. I know other people can too. I just want to soak in that and in you."

I lean forward to cup his cheeks in my hands. "You have that too, Nolan. That sense of goodness. I felt it when I first met you. You protect the people you care about and you care about people you don't even know."

His eyes close for a beat. "I haven't always been a good person."

"You are now." I kiss him softly. "The past is the past. What matters is right now and you're a great dad and a wonderful lover and a pretty good boss."

He huffs out a deep laugh. "I'm a pretty good boss? I'm a fucking fantastic boss."

I kiss him again, harder this time, my tongue skimming over his bottom lip. "You were right. Your employees do bitch about you when you're not around."

"Tell me who." His arms circle me pulling me close. "Tell me their names and I'll fire every last one of them."

I gasp when he opens the clasp of my bra with one hand. "If I tell you all their names there won't be anyone left working for you."

He smiles against my mouth, his breath mingling with mine, his teeth brushing against my bottom lip. "Make me forget all of them, Ellie. Make me forget everyone in the world but you."

***

His mouth eats at mine, his tongue pulling, taking, making me want even more than he's already given me. He fucked me once on the bed before we took a shower together.

I took him in my mouth as the hot water beat down on us both. He was so close, but he stopped me, yanking me to my feet so he could finger my pussy. I came in the small space; his name stuck on my lips behind the moan that I couldn't contain.

"Safe," I groan into the kiss. "Are you safe?"

"You know I am," he growls. "I was tested last week. You're safe too."

He told me he wanted to fuck me without a condom when we were in the shower but I silenced him with a bite to his shoulder. He surged then, pushing two fingers into me while his thumb strummed over my swollen clit.

"Fuck me bare," I whisper with a smile against his lips. "Come inside of me. I want to feel it."

"Christ." He pushes me against the bedroom wall, lifting me up. "I've never done it."

"Never," I say breathlessly. "I'll be the first?"

"The first," he repeats as he moves his hands to cradle my ass. "My first bare fuck. The first woman I've ever loved."

I close my eyes to ward off the tears.

He loves me. I love him.

He thrusts hard, the entire length of him driving into me. I gasp as I claw at his shoulders, my legs wrapped around him, my back pressed against the wall.

"Jesus, this feels like heaven." His lips are on my neck. "You feel like my heaven."

I cling to him as he drives into me with long hard strokes. My back thumps against the wall, each of his groans shooting right through me to my core.

"I'm going to come so hard. This is way too fucking good." He clenches his jaw, his neck taut as he increases the tempo. The sensation of feeling him like this, inside me, raw and exposed is almost too much to bear.

"It's too good," I cry out. "So good."

He bores into me with solid thrusts, his mouth on my neck, on my cheek, his lips fluttering over my mine. "Take it, Ellie. Feel it. This is all yours."

"Mine," I repeat back. "You're mine."

"You better fucking believe it," he grunts as he digs his hands into my ass and fucks me, each stroke a promise; a pleasure filled vow that he belongs to me and I am his.