Authors: Walter Scott
The Hecate looked at me with surprise, and then ejaculated, âA wilfu' man will hae his wayâthem that will to Cupar maun to Cupar! To see thae English belly-godsâhe has had ae fu' meal the day already, and he'll venture life and liberty rather than he'll want a het supper! Set roasted beef and pudding on the opposite side o' the pit o' Tophet and an Englishman will mak a spang at itâBut I wash my hands o'tâFollow me, sir,' (to Andrew), âand I'se show ye where to pit the beasts.'
I own I was somewhat dismayed at my landlady's expressions, which seemed to be ominous of some approaching danger. I did not, however, choose to shrink back after having declared my resolution, and accordingly I boldly entered the house; and after narrowly escaping breaking my shins over a turf back and a salting-tub, which stood on either side of the narrow exterior passage, I opened a crazy half-decayed door, constructed not of plank, but of wicker, and, followed by the Bailie, entered into the principal apartment of this Scottish caravansary.
The interior presented a view which seemed singular enough to southern eyes. The fire, fed with blazing turf and branches of dried wood, blazed merrily in the centre; but the smoke, having no means to escape but through a hole in the roof, eddied round the rafters of the cottage, and hung in sable folds at the height of about five feet from the floor. The space beneath was kept pretty clear, by innumerable currents of air which rushed towards the fire from the broken panel of basket-work which served as a door, from two square holes, designed as ostensible windows, through one of which was thrust a plaid, and through the other a tattered great-coat; and moreover, through various less
distinguishable apertures, in the walls of the tenement, which, being built of round stones and turf, cemented by mud, let in the atmosphere at innumerable crevices.
At an old oaken table, adjoining to the fire, sat three men, guests apparently, whom it was impossible to regard with indifference. Two were in the Highland dress; the one, a little dark-complexioned man, with a lively, quick, and irritable expression of features, wore the trews, or close pantaloons, wove out of a sort of chequered stocking stuff. The Bailie whispered me, that âhe behoved to be a man of some consequence, for that naebody but their Duinhé-wassels wore the trews; they were ill to weave exactly to their Highland pleasure.'
The other mountaineer was a very tall, strong man, with a quantity of reddish hair, freckled face, high cheek-bones, and long chinâa sort of caricature of the national features of Scotland. The tartan which he wore differed from that of his companion, as it had much more scarlet in it, whereas the shades of black and dark-green predominated in the chequers of the other. The third, who sate at the same table, was in the Lowland dress,âa bold stout-looking man, with a cast of military daring in his eye and manner, his riding-dress showily and profusely laced, and his cocked hat of formidable dimensions. His hanger and a pair of pistols lay on the table before him. Each of the Highlanders had their naked dirks stuck upright in the board beside him,âan emblem, I was afterwards informed, but surely a strange one, that their computation was not to be interrupted by any brawl. A mighty pewter measure, containing about an English quart of usquebaugh, a liquor nearly as strong as brandy, which the Highlanders distil from malt, and drink undiluted in excessive quantities, was placed before these worthies. A broken glass, with a wooden foot, served as a drinking cup to the whole party, and circulated with a
rapidity, which, considering the potency of the liquor, seemed absolutely marvellous. These men spoke loud and eagerly together, sometimes in Gaelic, at other times in English. Another Highlander, wrapt in his plaid, reclined on the floor, his head resting on a stone from which it was only separated by a wisp of straw, and slept, or seemed to sleep, without attending to what was going on around him. He also was probably a stranger, for he lay in full dress, and accoutred with the sword and target, the usual arms of his countrymen when on a journey. Cribs there were of different dimensions beside the walls, formed, some of fractured boards, some of shattered wicker-work or plaited boughs, in which slumbered the family of the house, men, women, and children, their places of repose only concealed by the dusky wreaths of vapour which arose above, below, and around them.
Our entrance was made so quietly, and the carousers I have described were so eagerly engaged in their discussions, that we escaped their notice for a minute or two. But I observed the Highlander who lay beside the fire raise himself on his elbow as we entered, and, drawing his plaid over the lower part of his face, fix his look on us for a few seconds, after which he resumed his recumbent posture, and seemed again to betake himself to the repose which our entrance had interrupted.
We advanced to the fire, which was an agreeable spectacle after our late ride, during the dullness of an autumn evening among the mountains, and first attracted the attention of the guests who had preceded us, by calling for the landlady. She approached, looking doubtfully and timidly, now at us, now at the other party, and returned a hesitating and doubtful answer to our request to have something to eat.
âShe didna ken,' she said, âshe wasna sure there was ony
thing in the house,' and then modified her refusal with the qualification,ââthat is, ony thing fit for the like of us.'
I assured her we were indifferent to the quality of our supper; and looking round for the means of accommodation, which were not easily to be found, I arranged an old hen-coop as a seat for Mr. Jarvie, and turned down a broken tub to serve for my own. Andrew Fairservice entered presently afterwards, and took a place in silence behind our backs. The natives, as I may call them, continued staring at us, with an air as if confounded by our assurance, and we, at least I myself, disguised as well as we could, under an appearance of indifference, any secret anxiety we might feel concerning the mode in which we were to be received by those whose privacy we had disturbed.
At length, the lesser Highlander, addressing himself to me said, in very good English, and in a tone of great haughtiness, âYe make yourself at home, sir, I see.'
âI usually do so,' I replied, âwhen I come into a house of public entertainment.'
âAnd did she na see,' replied the taller man, âby the white wand at the door, that gentlemans had taken up the public-house on their ain business?'
âI do not pretend to understand the customs of this country; but I am yet to learn,' I replied, âhow three persons should be entitled to exclude all other travellers from the only place of shelter and refreshment for miles round.'
âThere's nae reason for't, gentlemen,' said the Bailie; âwe mean nae offenceâbut there's neither law nor reason for'tâbut as far as a stoup o' gude brandy wad make up the quarrel, we, being peaceable folk, wad be willingââ'
âDamn your brandy, sir!' said the Lowlander, adjusting his cocked-hat fiercely upon his head; âwe desire neither your brandy nor your company,' and up he rose from his seat. His companions also arose, muttering to each other,
drawing up their plaids, and snorting and snuffing the air after the manner of their countrymen when working themselves into a passion.
âI tauld ye what wad come, gentlemen,' said the landlady, âan ye wad hae been tauldâget awa' wi' ye out o' my house, and make nae disturbance hereâthere's nae gentleman be disturbed at Jeanie MacAlpine's an she can hinder. A wheen idle English loons, gaun about the country under cloud o' night, and disturbing honest peaceable gentlemen that are drinking their drap drink at the fireside!'
At another time I should have thought of the old Latin adage
âDat veniam corvis, vexat censura columbasââ'
But I had not any time for classical quotation, for there was obviously a fray about to ensue, at which, feeling myself indignant at the inhospitable insolence with which I was treated, I was totally indifferent, unless on the Bailie's account, whose person and qualities were ill qualified for such an adventure. I started up, however, on seeing the others rise, and dropped my cloak from my shoulders, that I might be ready to stand on the defensive.
âWe are three to three,' said the lesser Highlander, glancing his eye at our party; âif ye be pretty men, draw!' and, unsheathing his broadsword, he advanced on me. I put myself in a posture of defence, and, aware of the superiority of my weapon, a rapier or small-sword, was little afraid of the issue of the contest. The Bailie behaved with unexpected mettle. As he saw the gigantic Highlander confront him with his weapon drawn, he tugged for a second or two at the hilt of his
shabble,
as he called it; but finding it loth to quit the sheath, to which it had long been secured by rust and disuse, he seized, as a substitute, on the red-hot coulter of a plough which had been employed in arranging the fire
by way of a poker, and brandished it with such effect, that at the first pass, he set the Highlander's plaid on fire, and compelled him to keep a respectful distance till he could get it extinguished. Andrew, on the contrary, who ought to have faced the Lowland champion, had, I grieve to say it, vanished at the very commencement of the fray. But his antagonist, crying, âFair play! fair play!' seemed courteously disposed to take no share in the scuffle. Thus we commenced our rencontre on fair terms as to numbers. My own aim was, to possess myself, if possible, of my antagonist's weapon; but I was deterred from closing for fear of the dirk which he held in his left hand, and used in parrying the thrusts of my rapier. Meantime the Bailie, notwithstanding the success of his first onset, was sorely bested. The weight of his weapon, the corpulence of his person, the very effervescence of his own passions were rapidly exhausting both his strength and his breath, and he was almost at the mercy of his antagonist, when up started the sleeping Highlander, from the floor on which he reclined, with his naked sword and target in his hand, and threw himself between the discomfited magistrate and his assailant, exclaiming, âHer nain-sell has eaten the town pread at the Cross o' Glasgow, and py her troth she'll fight for Bailie Sharvie at the Clachan of Aberfoilâtat will she e'en!' And seconding his words with deeds, this unexpected auxiliary made his sword whistle about the ears of his tall countryman, who, nothing abashed, returned his blows with interest. But being both accoutred with round targets made of wood, studded with brass, and covered with leadier, with which they readily parried each other's strokes, their combat was attended with much more noise and clatter than serious risk of damage. It appeared, indeed, that there was more of bravado than of serious attempt to do us any injury; for the Lowland gentleman, who, as I mentioned, had stood aside for want of an antagonist
when the brawl commenced, was now pleased to act the part of moderator and peace-maker.
âHaud your handsâhaud your handsâeneugh doneâ eneugh done!âthe quarrel's no mortal. The strange gentlemen have shown themselves men of honour, and gien reasonable satisfaction. I'll stand on mine honour as kittle as ony man, but I hate unnecessary bloodshed.'
It was not, of course, my wish to protract the frayâmy adversary seemed equally disposed to sheath his swordâthe Bailie, gasping for breath, might be considered as
hors de combat,
and our two sword-and-buckler men gave up their contest with as much indifference as they had entered into it.
âAnd now,' said the worthy gentleman who acted as umpire, âlet us drink and gree like honest fellowsâThe house will haud us a'. I propose that this good little gentleman that seems sair forfoughen, as I may say, in this tuilzie, shall send for a tass o' brandy, and I'll pay for another, by way of archilowe,
1
and then we'll birl our bawbees a' round about, like brethren.'
âAnd fa's to pay my new ponnie plaid,' said the larger Highlander, âwi' a hole burnt in't ane might put a kail-pat through? Saw ever ony body a decent gentleman fight wi' a firebrand before?'
âLet that be nae hinderance,' said the Bailie, who had now recovered his breath, and was at once disposed to enjoy the triumph of having behaved with spirit, and avoid the necessity of again resorting to such hard and doubtful arbitrement;â'Gin I hae broken the head,' he said, âI sall find the plaister. A new plaid sall ye hae, and o' the bestâyour ain clan-colours, manâan ye will tell me where it can be sent t'ye frae Glaseo.'
âI needna name my clanâI am of a king's clan, as is weel
kend,' said the Highlander; âbut ye may tak a bit o' the plaidâfigh, she smells like a singit sheep's head!âand that'll learn ye the settâand a gentleman, that's a cousin o' my ain, that carries eggs doun frae Glencroe, will ca' for't about Martimas, an ye will tell her where ye bide. But, honest gentleman, neist time ye fight, an ye hae ony respect for your athversary, let it be wi' your sword, man, since ye ware ane, and no wi' thae het culters and fireprands, like a wild Indian.'
âConscience!' replied the Bailie, âevery man maun do as he dowâmy sword hasna seen the light since Bothwell Brigg, when my father, that's dead and gane, ware it; and I kenna weel if it was forthcoming than either, for the battle was o' the briefestâAt ony rate, it's glewed to the scabbard now beyond my power to part them; and, finding that, I e'en grippit at the first thing I could make a fend wi'. I trow my fighting days is done, though I like ill to take the scorn, for a' that.âBut where's the honest lad that tuik my quarrel on himsell sae frankly?âI'se bestow a gill o' aquavits on him, an I suld never ca' for anither.'
The champion for whom he looked around was, however, no longer to be seen. He had escaped, unobserved by the Bailie, immediately when the brawl was ended, yet not before I had recognized, in his wild features and shaggy red hair, our acquaintance Dougal, the fugitive turnkey of the Glasgow jail. I communicated this observation in a whisper to the Bailie, who answered in the same tone, âWeel, weel, I see that him that ye ken o' said very right. There
is
some glimmering o' common sense about that creature Dougal; I maun see and think o' something will do him some gude.'