Rock Chick 07 Regret (49 page)

“Looks like the Powwow is a bust. You wanna go back or you want a coffee?”

“Coffee,” I answered. “I should get one for Ralphie too.”

“I’ll get ‘em,” he told me then his face dipped and his mouth brushed mine.

Then he was off to the coffee counter, leaving me affected deeply (yes, even by his brush on my lips!) and teetering without his body to support me.

“Sit down before you fall down, child.” Shirleen called.

I decided to do as she suggested before I caused an even bigger stir and took a seat in a big, comfortable armchair amongst the crew.

“I cannot
believe
you have a small dog wearing a cute sweater accessory!” Ally exclaimed. “
Chickie
, you got it goin’
on
.”

“
YoYo’s
not mine. Buddy, Ralphie and I are watching her for a friend,” I told Ally.

“It’s still a cute sweater,” Roxie said, rubbing
YoYo’s
body all over and YoYo was loving it, wiggling in Roxie’s lap, showing her belly.

“The sweater’s not
YoYo’s
, exactly, it’s Ralphie’s,” I explained.

All eyes came to me.

“Don’t ask, it’s a long story,” I went on.

All lips formed grins.

“Everything all right?” Jules asked, her eyes on me, her arms holding her new son Max.

I surprised myself by saying, “No.”

Now why did I say that?

I didn’t
share
.

Ever!

“No?” Ally asked quietly.

“I got bad news yesterday,” I shared again.

Yes, shared.

Yes, again!

What was happening to me?

“Your Mom,” Indy said softly and I looked at her. “Lee told me.”

“Eddie told me,” Jet put in.

“Hank told me too,” Roxie added.

“You should know, they told the rest of us,” Ava finished.

I feared I was about to hyperventilate.

“You don’t have to talk about it,” Jules said immediately, watching me closely for a second, then her eyes sliced to Ally but it was Stella that spoke with her super cool, throaty, sexy voice (no kidding, Stella’s voice was aces).

“She doesn’t, Ally, so lay off.”

“I didn’t say anything,” Ally defended herself.

“We should let Sadie control what she wants to share,” Jules replied and I decided I liked Jules,
loads
.

“It just felt like I lost her all over again.”

That was me too!

It just came out.

I could no longer control my own mouth, I was blurting out private thoughts willy-nilly!

“That’s understandable,” Ava told me.

“She was trying to protect me,” I went on, still unable to stop myself and they all had their eyes on me.

Normally, I wouldn’t like that.

Normally, it would make me uncomfortable.

Normally, I would call my Ice Princess.

But their faces were open and their eyes were kind. Instead of feeling uncomfortable, it felt like they were open because they wanted me to give it to them so they could take it away from me. Even though it was bad stuff,
really
bad stuff. But that way, I wouldn’t have to hold it inside anymore.

Now, how bizarre was
that?

I put my hands in my hair, pulling it away from my head and looked at Mace’s boots.

Then my hands dropped and I whispered, “I can’t stop thinking about it. Thinking that she died scared. I hate it that I’ll never see her again, because I always thought…” I stopped then took a deep breath and started again, “But I hate it more that she probably died scared.”

Then all of a sudden, that big, hard, burning thing came back into my chest and it started choking me. I even made a choking sound
out loud
.

“Oh blast! I’m going to fucking cry
again,
” I announced then my hands went over my face and I burst into tears.

Within moments, I felt fingers curl around my wrists and strong hands pull me out of my chair. Then I was up against a rock hard body that, for a second, I thought was Hector’s. But it was bigger than Hector’s body, taller and the arms that wrapped around me were different.

I looked up and was shocked to see Mace through wet eyes.

“I’m sorry,” I whispered.

His hand went to the top of my head and slid down my hair to my neck. He put pressure there until my cheek was against his chest.

“Don’t be.” His deep voice sounded over my head and rumbled in my ear.

My arms slid around his waist and I held onto him and he held onto me and I cried silently against the chest of a man I didn’t know at all, except his name. And I did it in a bookstore, full of people, some I knew, most I didn’t.

And I didn’t care, not even a little bit because, as I cried, I felt that hard, hot ball in my chest start to shrink and fade until, after awhile, it was nearly gone.

Then I was shifted, turned and Hector was there. His arm went around my shoulders and he tucked me in his side, curling me to face him. His hand went to my face, his thumb wiping at the wetness there.

“You okay?” he murmured.

“Stop asking me that,” I replied.

He grinned and his fingers formed a fist, his knuckles slid across my cheekbone gently before his hand fell away.

“You’re okay.”

I put my temple to his shoulder then saw a big mug with foamy milk on top thrust into my line of sight.

“Drink that, woman,” Tex ordered and I looked up at him as I took the mug. “
Shee
-it. Someone get her a Kleenex, her makeup’s runnin’.”

My hand not holding the mug shot to my face to wipe away mascara.

“Don’t bother. It’s all over the place. You need a mirror,” Tex told me with brutal honesty or, I should say, Tex
boomed
at me with brutal honesty so, perhaps, the one person on the other side of the room who hadn’t witnessed my meltdown could be in on the show.

I still wiped, Tex still stared, Hector still kept me tucked tight to his side.

Daisy handed me a Kleenex and then Tex spoke (or boomed) again, “Don’t know your Ma. Figure she was good people, she did what Indy says she did. Do know, she was here, she’d be fuckin’ proud. You been through what you been through and you’re still
standin
’.
Lotsa
women wouldn’t only bend, they’d break but you didn’t do either and you’re still
standin
’. You were my daughter, I’d be so fuckin’ proud, I’d shout it from the rooftops. I figure, so would your Ma. And you can take
that
to the fuckin’ bank.”

Then he was gone and I stared in the space where he was for several, speechless, open-mouthed seconds, letting his words penetrate my brain.

And then something else hit my chest, it was that weird, warm, happy glow but it was so intense, so invasive, so overwhelming that it made the painful, burning, hot ball that had been there before seem puny.

Then I burst into fresh tears, these loud and wailing.

Smooth Move Hector divested me of my coffee cup, handed it to the waiting Daisy and pulled me into his arms.

I shoved my face into his chest, wrapped my arms around his waist and bawled like a baby.

And I didn’t care who saw that either.

Finally, I said into his chest between sobs, “After this, if I cry again, shoot me.”

“No fuckin’ way,” was Hector’s (unhelpful, in my personal opinion) response.

I looked up at him. “Seriously, Hector, shoot me! My mascara’s ruined! It’s going to take me hours to
unpuff
my eyes enough to put makeup on again!”

Through my watery, mascara-clogged eyes, I watched his brows draw together. “You want me to shoot you because your mascara’s ruined?”

“Yes!” I cried.

He burst out laughing.

“I’m not being funny!” I wailed, smacking him on the shoulder.

Hector’s head descended and he gave me a light kiss on my quivering lips.

His mouth moved away half an inch and he said, “
Mi cielo
, you’re hilarious.”

“Holy crap, we need a party,” Ally announced behind my back before I could retort and I turned in Hector’s arms.

“You’re partying at my gig tonight. Bring Sadie,” Stella put in.

“We’ll all put on sparkles!” Daisy shouted.

“Oh shit, white man rock ‘n’ roll and sparkles. Fuck,” Shirleen muttered.

“Pre-gig margaritas and girlie dress up at the loft!” Ava declared.

“I’ll get Nick to babysit,” Jules threw in.

“I’ll bring my
guac
and chips,” Jet offered.

“Rock on!” Indy shouted.

“You got
that
right, sister,” Roxie added and, for some bizarre reason, they all burst into fits of giggles.

Hector stopped laughing and murmured, “Fucking hell.”

I looked up at him, not crying anymore, and whispered (with a small tremor in my voice), “I think I’m in trouble.”

At that, Hector’s head bent to look at me and, slowly, he smiled.

Chapter Eighteen

Eighties Rock Video Bimbo

Sadie

“Yeah?” Luke’s voice sounded over the security speaker by the elevator to his and Ava’s loft.

“It’s Hector and Sadie,” Hector replied.

My heart clenched at those words.

He said,
Hector and Sadie
.

Hector and Sadie!

Oh my God.

We were Hector…
and
… Sadie!

“Elevator’s on its way,” Luke said through my freak out, clearly not seeing anything wrong with a “Hector and Sadie’.

Then a different panic seized me and, without a word, I turned and started toward the door.

I got three steps when an arm sliced around my waist, Smooth Move Hector caught me and turned me into his body.

“Where you goin’?” he asked, his brows drawn, his eyes scanning my face.

“I can’t do this,” I blurted, Pretend Sadie gone, Ice Princess Sadie enjoying a cocktail by an imaginary pool, Take Charge Sadie getting a facial, it was just me and I couldn’t do this.

No way.

I was no Rock Chick; I’d never been to a rock concert in my life.

My favorite recording artist was Madonna, for goodness sake!

“Why?” Hector asked.

“I like Madonna,” I told him, unable to stop myself.

Hector stared at me like I’d just announced my devotion to
Engelbert
Humperdinck.

“What?”

“Madonna!” I cried as the elevator doors opened. “Like a Virgin? Confessions on a Dance Floor? You know, Madonna!”

His face cleared and he started grinning. “I know Madonna.”

“Well then, there you go. I’m not a Rock Chick, I’m a Pop Chick. Pop Chicks aren’t cool, they don’t go to
gigs
. They don’t rock out! They go to clubs and dance! And I didn’t ever do that either!”

He ignored my rant, turned us, arm firm around my shoulders and guided us toward the elevator.

I struggled.

With little effort, Hector controlled the struggle and got me in the elevator.

“Hector!” I snapped. “Didn’t you hear me?”