Rock Chick 07 Regret (8 page)

I thought about how much energy it would take for me to understand what on earth was going on.

Then I realized, just before I fell asleep (for real this time) that I didn’t have enough energy to figure it out.

* * * * *

I opened my eyes and saw Daisy sitting in the chair where Hector slept.

She was wearing shoulder-to-toe dark denim, fawn-colored fringe falling from the shoulder pads of her blazer, more fringe down the sides of her skintight jeans. She had on fawn-colored, spike-heeled, platform, round-toed boots, her jeans tucked into the boots. There was more than a hint of rhinestones and rivets sprinkling her outfit
everywhere
.

She looked like she was going to get up and start singing, “Jolene”. Instead, she sat, legs crossed and read
National Enquirer
.

Darn. Now what?

I couldn’t feign sleep and avoid her forever. Or could I?

“Sadie?”

My eyes moved to Daisy’s and she was looking at me.

There was the answer, I couldn’t feign sleep and avoid her forever.

I didn’t respond. Instead, I sat up and lifted my good hand to pull my hair away from my face. When I dropped my hand, my hair tumbled back in my face again.

I sighed.

“Let me get that,” Daisy said softly and I looked at her again.

Her
Enquirer
was on the chair; she was up and digging through her purse. She yanked something out and dumped her purse on the night table.

She showed me a big, pale pink clip.

“Voila!” she said as if she’d pulled a rabbit from a hat not a hair clip from a handbag.

“Turn your back to me,” she ordered and even I wasn’t Ice Princess enough to tell her to go jump in a lake.

I turned my back. Her hands went through my hair, her long fingernails gently scraping my scalp.

It felt nice. It reminded me of when I was little and my Mom used to brush my hair at night before I went to bed. Sometimes when my Mom would brush my hair, she would tell me stories. Sometimes they were funny stories, sometimes romantic, sometimes adventurous. I used to love when my Mom brushed my hair and told me stories.

Daisy carefully pulled and scraped my hair for longer than was needed then she twisted it and I felt the clip go in.

Her hands went to my shoulders and she gently turned me around to face her. When I did, her eyes were on my hair. Then her gaze dropped to mine.

“All better,” she said.

“Not even close,” I replied.

There she was, bitchy Ms. Townsend rearing her ugly head.

Daisy’s teeth bit her lip and her eyes sparkled with tears.

“Sadie, sugar –” she started but before she could say more the door opened and Hector walked in.

Really, no more, I got it. I was the daughter of a Drug King, a bad man who probably destroyed many lives. But seriously, how much penance could a daughter do for her father’s sins? I mean,
I
didn’t sell heroin to school kids for goodness sakes!

I’d had enough.

I picked up the call button thingamabob and stared at it, found the button for the nurse and pressed it.

Then I saw Hector’s belt buckle and abs by the bed.

Darn.

“Sadie,” Hector called.

I kept my head down and hit the nurse call button again.

“Sadie,” Hector repeated.

My head came up and I looked at him.

“Why are you here?” I snapped.

He opened his mouth to speak but before he could I turned my head and looked at Daisy.

“And why are
you
here?” I asked her.

“I thought I’d –” Daisy started.

“No, actually, I don’t want to know,” I interrupted, reached out and grabbed my IV stand
thingie
. Then I threw back the covers and scooted to the side of the bed, rolling my IV with me. It hurt but I did it anyway and I didn’t even wince.

“Sadie, get back in bed,” Hector ordered but I had my legs over the side and I stood up.

I walked two steps, wheeling my IV stand
thingie
with me (the IV stand
thingie
kind of bit into my bid for Queen Ice but I’d just have to work it).

I turned to them, hand on my IV stand and stood my ground.

“Both of you, leave,” I demanded.

Daisy’s eyes slid to the opposite side of the bed where Hector was standing. My eyes went there too. He didn’t look happy.

“I’ll ask you again,
mamita
, get back in bed,” he said.

“That isn’t asking, that’s telling,” I retorted.

“Then I’ll
tell
you again, back in bed,” he shot back.

“No,” I replied.

He started walking around the bed… toward me.

I wondered, in the nanosecond before I started retreating, why he seemed completely unaffected by my Chill Factor. Everyone else went into deep freeze.

Not Hector.

I had, of course, noticed that his body was preternaturally hot. Maybe that was it.

“Hector,” Daisy said softly as Hector advanced.

Something in her tone must have reached him because all of a sudden he stopped. So I stopped too.

Hector and I squared off and went into stare down mode. While we were doing this, Daisy came forward cautiously but didn’t get too close to Hector or to me.

“Sadie, we’re here –” Daisy started.

Again I didn’t let her finish, my eyes broke from Hector’s dark ones and cut to her.

“I know why you’re here.” I motioned to Hector. “And I know why he’s here. You wanted to get a good look at how the mighty have fallen.”

Daisy’s body jerked like I hit her at the same time I saw her flinch.

Hector didn’t flinch. His eyes narrowed, his face went dark and let me just say, it was scary.

Nevertheless, I was on a roll. I was beyond Ice Princess. I was Sorceress of the Antarctic and a bitchy one at that.

It hurt me to do it. It hurt more than my body hurt. But I had to.

I didn’t know why they were there and I didn’t care. It started like this, people being nice, doing nice things maybe trying to be kind.

It never ended like that. Never.

I went on, “Well, you had your look. Now you can go.”

Totally ignoring my order to go, Hector took a step forward. I took a step back.

He stopped. So did I.

We went into stare down again.

Finally he said, “The police are here.”

That surprised me but I covered before it could show.

“Why?” I asked.

Then Hector answered, “So you can swear out a warrant so they can go after –”

At his words, Sorceress of the Antarctic disintegrated, melted in an instant and I lost it.

Utterly.

“
No!
” I shrieked so loud and shrill I was surprised the TV screen didn’t burst.

He couldn’t say it. Not out loud. Not to
me
.

I retreated again.

“Oh sugar,” I heard Daisy say, her voice trembling but Hector was coming at me and I kept my eyes on him.

His face wasn’t dark anymore, there was something else there, something I didn’t want to see.

I closed my eyes to block it out, lifted my hand to ward him off, all the while wheeling my IV stand
thingie
and walking backwards. My back hit the wall.

“
Mamita,
” Hector murmured gently when I stopped. He didn’t touch me but he was close enough I could feel his heat.

With nowhere else to go, I turned my head away.

“Sadie?” another voice called.

I opened my eyes and peered around Hector’s body. I could see both Ralphie and Buddy standing just inside the door.

Hector stepped to the side and I saw them fully.

Ralphie was carrying an overnight bag. Buddy was carrying a huge vase of exquisite white calla lilies, my favorites.

They were staring at me and they looked pale (yes, even Buddy, I didn’t know black people could go pale but he did).

“Sweetie?” Ralphie said hesitantly.

Even though he called me “sweetie” (and he’d never called me “sweetie”), Ice Princess clicked into place.

“I’m okay,” I said immediately.

One second Ralphie was across the room. The next second I was in his arms.

“Oh Sadie, sweet ‘ums. You didn’t have an accident, did you?” he asked, his voice whisper-soft, one arm around my waist, the other hand stroking my back.

“Ralphie, I’m fine.” I held my body rigid and spoke to his throat.

He leaned back and looked down at me. “Sweetie, you are
not
fine. I can see, can’t I? I didn’t go blind in the night like a bad Jodie Foster movie. And I just got back from your apartment. It’s a disaster. What on earth happened? Who did this to you?”

This was not working well for me. It was all coming at me. Everyone was
talking
about it. How could I set it aside to deal with it later when people were
talking
about it?

“I’m gonna break his fuckin’ neck.” Buddy was now at our side.

I turned my head and looked up at Buddy, he got a close look at my face and I saw his teeth clench.

Then he repeated between his teeth, “I’m gonna break his
fuckin’
neck. Who did it?”

“I’m fine,” I said again.

“You have a cast on your wrist,” Ralphie pointed out and I looked back at Ralphie.

“I’m fine,” I repeated.

“You have a bandage on your face,” Ralphie went on.

I could take no more and really, could you blame me?

So I screamed, “
I’m fine!
”

Ralphie had never seen me lose my cool, never, therefore at my scream he winced. Then for some reason,
he
ignored my Chill Factor. His arms got tight and he pulled me close.

And no one had held me like that for as long as I could remember.

And I couldn’t bear it anymore.

I shoved my face in his ultra-elegant shirt and clenched his uber-stylish suit jacket in my good hand and I cried.

I didn’t care who saw me. Not even Hector.

Fuck it. I could take no more.

It was not wracking, sobbing, loud crying. It was silent, body-jerking, soul-wrenching crying.

Through it all, and it seemed to last a long time, Ralphie held on.

“Get it out, sweet ‘ums, give it to Ralphie,” he muttered finally.

“I have to go home,” I said into his shirt.

“You can’t go home,” Ralphie replied.

“I have to go home. I have to get out of here,” I said back but I didn’t take my face from Ralphie’s shirt.

“You’ll go home,” Buddy said from close to our side and I felt another hand slide around my waist as Buddy got closer and affected a group hug.

“Thank you,” I whispered, not looking up, not looking at Ralphie or Buddy and definitely not Hector or Daisy.

“You’ll go home, Sadie,” Buddy said. “You’ll go home with us.”

Chapter Three

I Waited

Hector

Hector sat, leaned forward, elbows on his knees, his left hand dangling, his right hand holding a Jack and Coke.