Rock Him (19 page)

Asher frowned at the man shuffling his feet, refusing to make eye contact.

“This lieutenant of yours, he wouldn’t speak to the press, would he?” Asher said,
“He’s not going to make this more difficult to explain, just to see himself on television?”

A quick glance at the expressions ranging from pained to amused on the other officers’
faces told him all he needed to know.

“We’re not waiting for him.”

Sergeant Greene made a token sound of protest.

Asher held up a hand. “Does everyone know their roles?” he barked.

There were nods all around.

He turned to Maddy. “You. Love struck. Hero worship.”

She laughed, then sobered and said quietly, “Your mom?”

He stiffened. “I’ll deal with her.”

“She has a gun, Asher,” she whispered so quietly in his ear he could barely hear her.

Fuck. That bitch. So, she showed Maddy her Derringer?

He pulled Maddy away and gave her a gentle shake. “Trust me. I’ll take care of it.”

She relaxed imperceptibly.

“Justin?”

He grinned. “Ready, boss.”

He surveyed the glum group surrounding him.

“Smiles, everyone. Smiles!” He gave them his thousand-megawatt grin and they filed
through the front door, led by Justin.

Asher pulled Maddy up against his body as they made their way awkwardly down the steps
together. There must have been twenty-five people there with cameras. Some with badges.
Most of them appeared to have slept in their clothes. Asher shook his head, grin firmly
in place.
Parasites.

Sergeant Greene shouted, “Listen up, people. The security gate malfunctioned. The
homeowner called us. I’ve got reinforcements on the way and will be citing for trespass.
Just because the gate was open doesn’t mean you’re allowed to enter. This is private
property. Now get out.” The three other officers started ushering the photographers
down the driveway.

Someone shouted, “We heard it was a domestic dispute.”

“Yeah!” someone else echoed.

That was his cue. He pulled Maddy’s resistant body into his arms and kissed her. Really
kissed her with his lips, tongue, and breath. She clutched at his shoulders and he
was totally lost.

The sound of Justin’s laughter recalled him moments later. He lifted his head, dazed.
Far from leaving, the paparazzi were catcalling and, most of all, snapping photo after
photo of him and Maddy. He glanced down and grinned, a real honest-to-God happy grin.

Her gaze was unfocused, with no trace of self-consciousness despite the audience of
their press.

He grabbed Sergeant Greene’s arm.

“I’ll let you take it from here. I have things to attend to.”

Sergeant Greene laughed.

• • •

An hour later he left a sleeping Maddy in his bed and made the call to his father.

“Sterling Lowe.”

“It’s Asher.”

“Is Ella okay?”

“Ella’s fine. I’m calling because that bat-shit crazy bitch kidnapped Maddy at gunpoint.”

“What?”

“Yeah. Apparently she’s still got that Derringer.”

“That shouldn’t have happened. I’ve got people on her.”

“You do?”

“Of course. How do you think I managed to keep her away from you all these years?”

“Well, I’m heading over there to — ”

“Don’t. I’m not going to tell you your business, but it’d be best if you let me handle
this.”

“No.”

Sterling sighed. “Please, Asher. She
wants
your attention. She’s like a child. If you give it to her, you let her know that
is how she can get to you, and she’ll continue to try to get you through the people
you love. That could mean Ella, too. Any interaction fuels her. I have this on the
best authority. But I can make sure it doesn’t happen again. You have my word.”

“I need to be
sure
she won’t try anything, with Maddy or Ella.”

“It’s as important to me as it is to you. She’s not healthy, Asher. She never has
been.”

“Would she try anything with Ella?”

“Taking her?”

“Yeah.”

“It’s possible. With her anything is possible.” His tone underwent a subtle change.
“You’re too close to Jacqueline in LA, Asher. Ella would be safer here with me.”

Here come the machinations.

“Forget it Sterling. If you can’t take care of Jacqueline, the police — ”

“No. I’ll tighten up security on her and keep her occupied with something else. I
can usually create enough drama to suck her attention away somehow.”

He was surprised the man was admitting to being so manipulative.

“If she creates another problem for me, I’ll go public with her mental illness, press
charges about kidnapping Maddy, all of it.”

Sterling sighed. “That won’t do any good, but I’ll keep better tabs. You have my word.”

Asher padded back to the bedroom where Maddy was awake and stretching.

“We need to talk,” she said, solemnly, fluffing the pillow behind her and leaning
back.

She watched him approach, top button of his jeans unbuttoned, shirtless. “I know.
I’m sorry Maddy. I had no idea — she’s never done anything like this before. It has
been a dozen years since I’ve had contact with her. I just talked to Sterling about
it. He’s been keeping tabs on her, he thinks maybe the press about Ella or you in
my life set her off. Or maybe she came off her medications? But it’s being taken care
of.”

She sat up and folded her arms around her sheet-covered knees. “Yeah. Well, good.
I’d hate for Ella to be in her sights. But, I’m more concerned about you. Your willingness
to accept that I would break up with you because people said nasty things about me.
And on the phone? I would never.”

“Maddy, I haven’t dated many women unaccustomed to celebrity. Nearly all of my relationships
have been with women who knew what they were getting into with me — in fact, for many
of them, dating in the public eye was more of a perk than a hindrance. I’ve kept a
pretty low profile since Dee died. Deliberately. And I should’ve warned you that there
would be nastiness once you were publicly linked with me. I’m sorry.”

She tensed and hugged her knees to her chest. “Because I’m not up to your usual standard?”

He made a choked sound and she looked up, affronted.

“Maddy, you are so far and away above my usual standard, it’s laughable.”

It was as though the wind had been knocked out of her, a warmth settled in her chest.
It wasn’t a declaration of love but it was some kind of declaration and she reveled
in it.

“After Dee’s death I lost interest in doing a lot of the things I normally enjoyed
— the parties … uh … the women.”

She reached for his hand and he gripped it tightly. “You were struggling.”

“You met me at my lowest point. I’ve been in a successful band for two decades. I’ve
experienced burnout — from the road, groupies, conflicts within the band — you name
it.” He played with the fingers on her hand. She winced and he dropped it, and gathered
her into his lap with a sympathetic sound. “I’m not complaining. But when Dee died
… I’ve never experienced anything like that. For a while I was numb. But things are
better now. So much better with the two of you.”

She wrapped an arm around him and traced the raised, inflamed skin over his shoulder
blade, a newly inked Celtic symbol with something that looked vaguely like the number
four upside-down, entwined within. “Were you going to mention this?”

His shoulder twitched under her ministrations.

She moved her hand to the nape of his neck and stroked him. “Dee?”

“Yeah.”

He leaned back, until she was straddling him, he laced his fingers through her hair
and pulled her down to his mouth.

Asher put the guitar down and checked his messages. He’d missed a flurry of calls
from his attorney and held the phone to his ear to listen to the message the man had
left. Minutes later his guitar lay in pieces around him in his home studio. If there
was ever a rock musician voted least likely to smash up a perfectly good Gibson, it
was Asher Lowe. Cars? Hotel rooms? Most certainly. Guitars? Never.

At this rate he’d be headed to anger management classes. Not that it would be necessary,
as it appeared he was on the verge of losing custody of Ella. With a dim sense of
unreality, he entered his office and picked up the documents his attorney had faxed
and skimmed them.

“Fuck.”

He took the sheaf of papers to the living room to await her return from the store.
He looked through the papers again, numb with disbelief. His attorney called back,
there would be an emergency hearing but it hadn’t been scheduled.

By the time he heard the slam of the front door, it felt as though he’d been waiting
hours for Maddy to return.

“Asher.” She halted mid-step, staring at him. “What’s happened?” she whispered. “Is
it Ella?”

He stood, holding up the sheaf of papers, in a hand that trembled.

“Is this how he did it?”

Maddy was close enough to see her mother’s bank logo on the front of the top piece
of paper. He watched her closely. Despite the mounting evidence, he’d held on to a
frisson of hope. But there it was, a damning flash of guilt across her face before
she looked away.

Something tore inside, a physical pain accompanied the evisceration of his heart.
He’d actually fallen in love with her, he realized with dawning horror. He’d always
been so careful not to get too deeply involved. Not to lose himself in a woman, not
to trust like that. And now that he had, she would cost him everything. Disbelief
and pain were morphing back into fury. God knew what showed on his face, but inside
searing rage raced through him.

She held up a hand, beseechingly.

“How could you do this to me? To Ella?” he gritted.

“Asher, your dad contacted me but — ”

“Oh I know,” he replied, in a voice so bitter he barely recognized it as his own,
“an emergency custody hearing has been scheduled. My attorney tells me you’ve been
busy keeping my father up to date with all my failings. Sterling knows all of it,
and he’ll leverage it to take custody from me. You … you … deceitful bitch,” he
heard her gasp, but continued, raggedly, “you know how hard I tried — ” his voice
broke and he turned away.

He was really losing it, on the cusp of throwing shit around again.

He heard her behind him, too close.

“Asher, that’s not what — I didn’t. That is, he asked, but … if you would just listen
— ”

He whirled, “We’ll all get to listen to you, in court. Get out of my house.”

She shrank from the expression on his face. With a small sound, she turned on her
heel and fled the room. He heard the front door shut moments later.

God help him. She knew everything. He had told her things he had never shared with
another soul, his feelings of betrayal and anger mixed with regret about his relationship
with Dee. She
knew
him. She knew his
history
. Why did she do it? Money? She wouldn’t put Ella’s welfare aside because of blackmail.
Not her.

He tamped down the voice that told him he should have helped her mother. His investigation
had turned up her mother’s straitened circumstances. But he hadn’t wanted the awkwardness
that accompanied such a gift to cause a rift or some perceived imbalance in their
status. He’d gifted people with money over the years, and it always put a strain on
the relationship. The last thing he wanted from Maddy was gratitude; she had enough
concerns about the disparity of their incomes and her employment.

Maddy had joined forces with Sterling against him. All but handed Ella to his father.
And there could only be one reason she would do that. She thought Sterling would make
a better guardian. That twisted him up in agonizing knots of self-doubt and pain.
She’d had valid concerns about his parenting and interest in Ella the first few weeks
— he’d fucked up royally before coming out of his funk — but Ella had come to mean
the world to him. How could Maddy not know that? And why would she do it this way?

He stalked over to the bar and poured himself a giant tumbler of Scotch and drank
most of it, in one long swallow — desperate to numb the pain. Putting the glass down,
he pitched himself onto the sofa and covered his face with shaking hands. What was
he thinking? Ella would be home in a few hours and he couldn’t show up drunk at the
bus stop.

He gritted his teeth and pulled out his cell phone. Eyes stinging, he concentrated
on slowing his breathing.

His father answered with “Is Ella all right?”

“I wanted you to know I fired your little spy.”

There was a sharply sound from the other end.

“You bastard,” Asher said.

“Asher, listen to me — ”

“
No
. You listen. How dare you? You and your games. You used her mom’s
house
to blackmail her? Her mother’s livelihood? And you think you’ll make a better role
model than
me
, you sick fuck?” he spat out.

It was as though someone hit him in the stomach with a two by four. He could have
sworn his feelings for Maddy were the real thing. He would have bet she reciprocated
them. He’d let her in, and she knew how hard he was trying. And it still wasn’t good
enough. He couldn’t even begin to think about losing Ella.

“I’m not sorry,” Sterling said. “I’ll go to any lengths to make sure Ella is okay.
And son, you
have
to know she’d be better off with me. If there’s anything you’ve learned the last few
months, it’s that you can’t care for a child. I know, Asher. All of it. Losing her
at the store? Keeping her up late?”

She told his father everything
.

“It’s too much for you. Give her to me.”

Asher’s body went still. The hair rose on the back of his neck.

“You’re still the same. I made choices you didn’t agree with so I’m useless? I didn’t
follow in your footsteps, so I must be a fuck up? You’re the only person on the planet
who sees me as a fuck up. Ella’s far better off with me, and Dee knew it. That’s why
she didn’t change her will. I’ll never let you get custody. You’re a bully and a lousy
dad, and given half a chance you’ll wreck this little girl the way you tried to wreck
me and Dee. You have no idea how to be a father.
None
. Take it from me.”