Rock Him (20 page)

“That’s the thing, son. I don’t want what happened to you to happen to Ella. I don’t
want her to be … damaged.”

Asher gave a short, humorless laugh. “
I’m
damaged?”

“You are a lousy guardian for Ella for the same reasons I was a lousy parent. You
can’t put her ahead of yourself. You neglect her for business, a phone call.”

“Oh, the irony.”

“Yes. The irony. I will take her from you at the hearing. I’ve rearranged my life
to care for that little girl.”

Asher scowled. “As have I.”

His father continued as if he hadn’t heard. “I’ll give her my all, Asher. I should
have done it with you and Dee. I didn’t know. I can’t let you make the same mistakes
I made.”

“I’ll see you in court.” Asher disconnected the phone.

He picked up the nearest object, ready to hurl it into the wall, but stopped. He looked
at the thing in his hand. A travel mug Maddy made for him with photos of Delilah and
Ella. He put it down and collapsed onto the couch, staring at it.

The anger faded, leaving heartache in its wake.

When Maddy’s cell phone rang at eight
A.M.
her heart leaped. Asher? Maybe he would let her explain. She should have told him
about Sterling’s initial call, but since she’d decided early on not to help him, she
hadn’t seen the need to. Besides, she’d discussed the matter of the phone call with
Ella’s therapist. The woman had been adamant that Maddy stay out of it — completely
out of it. She had instructed Maddy to keep silent about Sterling’s phone call and
offer. The therapist didn’t want to add fuel to Asher’s anger toward his father. The
woman held out hope for reconciliation between Sterling and Asher, if only for Ella’s
sake.

But how could Sterling possibly have the information he did? Had someone been following
them?

She focused on the number and her shoulders slumped. Not Asher.

“Hello?”

“Madeline Anderson?”

“Yes?”

“This is Patricia Leeds from the Los Angeles County Family Services court. We need
you to testify today at an emergency hearing to discuss the welfare of Ella Lowe.”

“That’s
today
?”

“Are you the child’s nanny?”

“Yes. I mean, I was.”

“What dates were you employed?”

Maddy gave the woman the information.

“So you quit yesterday?”

“Quit? Not exactly,” Maddy hedged.

There was a weary sigh from the other end of the phone. “Do you know where the courthouse
is?”

“Yes.”

“Then we’ll see you at eleven
A.M.
this morning. Third floor, conference room eleven.”

“Okay.” Maddy put the phone down on the coffee table and sat staring into space.

She hadn’t the energy yesterday to put her things away, and today she was so exhausted
and heartsick she was almost catatonic. Getting up, she checked the kitchen cabinets
for coffee. Ah, good, there was half a bag of beans.

She hadn’t done her usual stretches this morning so she had zero flexibility and a
lot of pain. She ground the beans and put them in the bottom of the French press then
put the kettle on and waited until the whistle sounded.

Her chest ached, her swollen eyes burned as tears of grief and shame welled in them.
The kettle whistled at full throttle. Maddy absently turned the burner knob to off
and poured the boiling water. Too fast. It sloshed over the back of her hand holding
the handle of the press.

“Ouch. Damn it.” She pulled her hand away and set down the kettle. She stared at the
burned flesh. If it was red and painful, it would blister. That’s all she needed.
Scars on her ugly hands. Good. Maybe the soreness from the burn and the pain in her
body could distract her from the ache in her heart.

• • •

Maddy pushed the button in the courthouse elevator at ten forty-five. The doors opened,
depositing her on the third floor. She walked stiffly down the linoleum hallway, checking
doors for numbers. Wrong corridor. She turned back with a sigh, clutching her purse
with sweaty hands. A white bandage on her left hand covered the angry half-dollar
sized blister. Conference room eleven. She walked in warily.

There was Sterling Lowe, impeccably attired in a gray suit, sitting next a man that
must be his lawyer. Asher was at the opposite end of the table, his back to her. She
could see his spine stiffen as she walked in, but he didn’t turn. Her heart clenched.
The only other occupants were the therapist and the social worker, talking quietly
together on the far side of the room. They each turned a sympathetic smile in her
direction.

Maddy made her way to a chair in the middle of the oval conference table, pulled it
out and sat down. Purse in her lap, she stared at her hands, unwilling to meet Asher’s
eyes. Dread formed a cold, hard knot where her stomach used to be.

The black-robed female judge came in the room, followed by harried looking fiftyish
woman juggling files and a computer. Belatedly Maddy rose to her feet after the others
while the judge and her assistant settled themselves. She could feel Asher’s eyes
on her and peeked through the curtain of her hair. His eyes were coldly furious, promising
retribution.

Maddy swallowed hard and studied the table. The social worker she had only met once
and the therapist settled into chairs next to each other on Maddy’s right side.

The judge’s lips twisted. “I see here we’re due in court in less than a month. Anyone
care to tell me why we’re here early?” She gave a hard look to the social worker,
and then turned her gaze on the therapist.

Sterling Lowe’s attorney cleared his throat. “Judge, if I may?”

She glared him down. “No, you may not. I’d like to hear from the women in the room,
since they, at least, are
supposed
to be impartial and only concerned about the welfare of the child.”

Asher made a sound that could’ve been a snort. The judge whipped her head around.
The transcriptionist continued to type, head down.

Mimi piped up. “Mr. Lowe … er … Mr. Sterling Lowe, brought some incidents to our
attention.”

“Let’s hear it,” the judge barked. “I don’t have all day.”

“According to Mr. Lowe Senior, Mr. Asher Lowe lost the child in a mall.”

The judge looked over her glasses at Asher. “True?”

Asher gave a curt nod, glowering.

“For how long?” the judge asked.

“Fifteen minutes.”

The judge shook her head. “It happens. Probably the longest fifteen minutes of your
life, am I right?”

Asher sat back, clearly off guard. “As a matter of fact, yeah. Your honor.”

Sterling Lowe leaned forward, flushed with rage. “Not to my grandchild it doesn’t!”
he thundered. The attorney tugged on his arm.

Sterling shook him off.

The judge narrowed her eyes at Asher’s father. “You’re doing yourself no favors.”
She pointed at the attorney next to Sterling. “Tell him.”

Sterling’s high priced attorney dragged a finger under his collar and whispered to
his client.

The judge surveyed Asher, then Sterling. “It happens to the best of us.” Directing
her gaze at Asher she said, “I assume you did all the right things to find her?”

He nodded.

“Including panicking, screaming her name and running around like a chicken with your
head cut off?”

Asher’s eyes widened. “Yep.” His attorney nudged him. “Your honor.”

The judge turned a dour expression on Sterling. “Save putting children on leashes
— something I’m not opposed to in some instances — that’s gonna happen. What else?”

Mimi responded haltingly, “Well, apparently the child urinated in public.”

Wait.
What
? Maddy sat forward in her chair. How could he possibly have known that about Ella
peeing on the street? Had they been followed? This wasn’t making any sense. Nausea
twisted through Maddy.

Sterling Lowe sat back, a smug expression on his face.

“That was my fault,” Maddy blurted.

“And you are?” She turned her narrow gaze to Maddy.

“I’m the … I was … Ella’s nanny.”

“Hmmmph. So what happened?”

“We had a play date and the woman wouldn’t let us in. Ella had to go … ” Maddy shrugged.
“But it wasn’t a busy street, just a residential one and there was no other option.”

The judge looked over her glasses at Sterling and shook her head. “Whole lotta nothin’
here.”

“There are a number of other incidents,” Sterling’s lawyer interjected, flipping through
the sheaf of papers in front of him.

“I thought I told you to stay out of it.” She glared at the attorney. “I have the
motion in front of me.”

“Yes, ma’am.”

She next directed her steely gaze at Maddy. “Do I need to place the child elsewhere?”

“Oh no!” Maddy gasped. “Please don’t. Ella,” she glanced at Asher, “Ella loves her
uncle. She may love her grandfather, too, but she’s doing so well with us. Uh …
with him.”

Sterling Lowe interrupted. “Of course she’d say that. She’s sleeping with him.”

Funny how you could still hear people’s reactions when they didn’t make a sound.

Asher’s jaw was clenched, face expressionless.

The judge made a derisive sound.

Maddy felt the anger steadily creeping up, threatening to overwhelm her. “Yes. I’m
… I was sleeping with him. I care for Asher, but that’s not the point of this hearing,
is it? We’re supposed to be doing what’s best for Ella. And you,” she pointed a shaking
finger at Sterling Lowe, “I don’t know how you got your information. The
only
people who knew about those incidents were me and Asher and — ” her mouth dropped
open, “ — my mom. I sent her emails about what’s going on,” she said. “Good God. You’ve
hacked my email!”

Sterling Lowe didn’t have the grace to look ashamed. His attorney cleared his throat
but remained silent.

Maddy looked daggers at them and then turned to the judge. “I shared some of our struggles
with my mom. We’re close and she runs a daycare. I ask her advice from time to time,”
she explained. “Maybe I shouldn’t have, but my mom is great with kids. She even has
some experience with children and grief. I never meant … how could he?” She looked
back to the judge. “He has my emails. Is that legal?”

In her peripheral vision she saw Asher sitting forward in his chair, she could feel
the eyes of everyone in the room on her.

The judge was contemplating Asher’s father. His attorney was looking around the room.
With a sigh, the judge turned back to Maddy.

“Of course it’s not legal. Not that I can waste county money going after him for it.”
She jerked her head in Sterling’s direction. “It would be difficult to prove and only
result in a fine anyway. But it shows very poor judgment.”

She turned her attention to the therapist. “How is the child adjusting?”

The woman shot a nervous look at Sterling.

Was he blackmailing her, too?

The woman held up both her hands. “Ella’s doing beautifully, all things considered.
She loves school, she loves Maddy, and she’s coming to love her uncle. She misses
her grandfather and she still struggles with the loss of her mom. In a perfect world,
I’d like to see both these men who love Ella care for her. But I can see why that’s
impossible. I don’t know who would be the best guardian for Ella, but I strongly advise
against another upheaval or major change at this time. It’s my recommendation that
guardianship remain with Asher Lowe.”

The social worker nodded her assent. “As long as we’re recommending what’s best for
the child, I don’t think it’s another nanny. Regardless of their … er … personal
issues, Ella has bonded with Maddy and it’s a very strong bond. One I don’t advise
breaking, given everything the child has been through.”

Maddy stared at the table fighting tears, thankful her hair was a curtain around her
face.

The judge pursed her lips and slapped her hands flat on the table.

“I’ve heard enough. The child stays with Asher Lowe. Mr. Lowe, I don’t care what your
personal situation is with Ms. Anderson. It’s lamentable that you couldn’t keep your
hands off your employee, but maybe now we can carry on a professional relationship?”

Maddy instinctively nodded.

Asher did not respond.

“But we’re going to do what’s best for the child here, and that is Ms. Anderson. Is
that clear?”

“Yes, ma’am,” Asher drawled.

“Ms. Anderson?”

Maddy swallowed hard. She peeked over at Asher.

He was staring at her, expressionless.

“Yes, your honor. I’d like to continue to care for Ella.”

The judge turned to Sterling Lowe. “Mr. Lowe. Clearly you are a man used to getting
what you want by subverting the rules.” She raised a dismissive hand. “That may work
in your world, but it doesn’t work in mine. Where children and families are concerned,
we care about the character of those providing for them. You’re no spring chicken,
so I’m certain my words are falling on deaf ears, but if you pulled this ‘end justifies
the means’ nonsense with your children, it’s no wonder you’re estranged.”

“I love Ella. I want what’s best for her,” Sterling Lowe said, hoarsely.

The room was silent, every pair of eyes on the older man at the end of the table.

The judge continued in a softer tone. “Yes. All of us here understand that. In fact,
believe it or not, every single one of us
in this room wants that. And everyone
but
you believes that Ella is getting the love and care she needs in her current environment.
So when you are the sole outlier, you need to consider that your desires may be in
conflict with reality. You’d be best off mending fences with your son.”

Asher made a sound — a derisive snort? — and covered quickly with a cough.

• • •

Maddy walked out of the conference room, brushing at the tears continuously leaking
from her eyes.

“Maddy.” She recognized Asher’s authoritative tone and picked up her pace. She’d call
him later, after she got herself under control.