Rock the Heart (16 page)

Noel’s flight lands at the Charlotte airport any minute. He’ll be here soon and I don’t have a fucking clue what I’m going to say to him.  As much as I love the idea of using the silent treatment method, I don’t think I’ll be able to stop myself from lashing out at him at least once. 

He needs to know I think he’s a selfish bastard and I hate his guts.

The mouse on my laptop keeps sticking as I continue research into charities like Black Falcon’s. I have to keep my mind busy some how. If I allow it, my brain will drive me insane replaying thoughts of Noel and all the other women he’s been with. I didn’t insist he use a condom when we were together because stupid me, trusted him. Now, the thought of all the diseases I might now have makes me want to literally murder him. 

I readjust myself in the bed and open a new search page. Mystery girlfriend has my mind curious. I tossed and turned all night wondering who she is and what she looks like.  

I open a new search box and carefully type in, “Noel Falcon’s girlfriend, Sophie,” into the box before hitting send. It only takes a couple seconds for the results to pop up, but out of all the links, I don’t see anything about Noel Falcon and a girlfriend. 

I tap my finger on my chin and then it occurs to me I can still probably find this girl. I just need a different route. This time I type in, “Riff from Black Falcon’s girlfriend, Sophie”. 

Bingo.

This time pages and pages of pictures flood my screen of Riff and a blonde named Sophie together. I click on a full length picture of her. As much as I hate to admit it, she’s beautiful. Long, blonde hair cascades down her back and her legs are incredibly long, not to mention her perfect smile. I stare down at my very modest chest and then back to Sophie’s.

We are exact opposites in every way. 

Another thought occurs to me. I’m the other woman. Noel cheated on this gorgeous woman with me.  That thought alone keeps me from hating her completely. It’s not her fault Noel is a terrible person, but that doesn’t erase the fact she came between two best friends. 

She’s still a fucking slut.

“What are you doing?”

My heart bangs against my ribs. Shit! He isn’t supposed to be back yet. 

I roll to my side and sit up after I slam the lid on my laptop shut. He stands there in his red t-shirt and distressed jeans looking like he hasn’t slept much. Crazy rocker hair stands in place with a pair of black sunglasses resting on his head with both hands planted on his hips.

How dare he question my actions. “That should be my line.”

Noel flinches. The look on his face gives him away.

He knows I know. 

He steps inside the room and shuts the door behind him. “Lane, you can’t believe the shit you read on there.”

I raise an eyebrow. “Oh, really. Who should I believe then, Noel? You?”

He takes two quick steps and sits on the bed next to me. He tries to wrap his arm around my waist, but I shove it off me. “Baby? Please. Let me explain.”

I shake my head. “No. No more lies.”

“I never lied to you.” 

“You’re lying to me right now!” I shout. My entire body shakes, so much for being cool and blowing him off. “Were you ever going to tell me about Sophie? Or are your plans to revenge fuck me not complete yet?”

Noel grabs my chin between his thumb and index finger and forces me to look at him. “You’re not just some piece of ass to me, Lane. How can you even think that?” My eyes water and I blink out a tear. It rolls down my cheek and Noel wipes it away with his thumb then cradles my face in his hands. “I love you.”

A sob I can no longer hold back escapes me. “How can you love me when you have a girlfriend?”

His lips pull into a tight line. “It’s complicated, but it’s not what you think.”

“Then tell me. Tell me why you would say things to me that make me believe I’m your world and not tell me you have someone else.”

He sighs and rests his forehead against mine. “Because I can’t leave her and I can’t lose you.”

I pull away from his hold and a cold chill runs through me. “Then why drag me into all this Noel? Why not let me work on the campaign from New York? You forced me to come here because you knew I still had feelings for you. You knew this would eventually happen and you have no intentions on leaving your girlfriend, and yet, you did it anyway. Riff is right. You are a selfish bastard.”

“Riff? He’s how you found out, isn’t it? I’m going to fucking kill him!” He roars and bounces up off the bed.

“Noel!” I reach for him, but he flings the door open and storms down the hallway to Riff’s foxhole before I have the chance to get out of bed.

Noel throws open the curtain and lunges inside. “You fucking told her?”

“You can’t have them both,” Riff yells back. “I won’t let you do that to Sophie.”

I jump off the bed. “Noel, stop!”

In a split second, Noel loses it. He yanks Riff from the bunk and throws him down on the hallway floor. Riff starts to stand, but before he gets the chance, Noel’s on him, connecting a hard punch in his face. 

Riff grunts and grabs Noel into a tight headlock. Noel flings his arms wildly, his fists cracking against Riff’s ribs. 

“Stop it!” I yell, while standing back. These two guys both have a good foot on me and at least sixty or so pounds. There’s no way I can break them up without getting hurt. 

Trip and Tyke’s curtains fly back and they jump out of their bunks. The twins get in-between the two fighting men and pull them apart. Riff and Noel both still red-faced determined to get at each other.

“I can’t believe you fucking told her!” Noel shouts while still in Trip’s firm hold. “You need to mind your own damn business.”

Riff laughs harshly. “Me? Mind my own business? You make it pretty hard to do when you’re fucking my girlfriend behind my back!”

Noel’s mouth drops open. “She came to me. I didn’t go after her.”

“And that makes it fucking okay? Jesus, Noel, you were my best friend—my brother and you still screwed me over. I’m not going to let you do that to Lanie.”

“I was going to tell her!” Noel shouts with his arms spread wide. 

“When? When were you going to tell her? After Sophie has the baby?”

I fall back against the wall. A baby? Did I just hear that right? Sophie’s
pregnant
? With
Noel’s
baby?

Noel’s body stills and his eyes snap to mine. That’s why he can’t leave her. He fucking knocked her up. I shake my head. No. No fucking way this is happening to me. I am not this person. I don’t get caught up in drama like this.

“Lane?” I hear Noel say my name as I continue to shake my head and back away from him. “Lane, wait!”

I turn on my heels and run back to the bedroom to grab my suitcase. I can’t stay here. I can’t stomach looking at him a second longer. The drawer flies open and I grab a handful of my clothes and throw them in the bag. It looks like a mangled mess, but a few wrinkles are the least of my problems.

The laptop on the bed goes in last and I zip up the suitcase. I freeze when I hear his voice. “Where are you going?”

Is he a complete idiot? Did he actually think I’d stay once I found out about Sophie? I shake my head and step around him into the bathroom to grab my make-up bag. The road with Noel isn’t anything like I planned. 

Noel grabs my arm as I pass back by him. “Aren’t you going to talk to me?”

I yank from his grasp and head for the bed. “I have nothing to say to you.”

He slams the door shut to our room. “Well, I have something to say to you.”

I roll my eyes at him. Anything that comes out of his mouth will be a lie and I don’t have time to listen to his bullshit. 

I grab my suitcase. “Get out of my way, Noel.”

“No. Damn it, Lane. You’re going to listen to me, even if I have to tie you down to that fucking bed.”

I narrow my eyes. “Wanna bet? Move.”

“God damn it, Lane. Would you fucking stop and listen to me for two seconds.” He runs his fingers through his hair. “I fucked up, alright. I know that. Sophie and I aren’t what you think. Trust me. She means nothing to me.”

I gasp. “You’re worse than I thought, if you’d talk about the mother of your child like that. You really are an asshole, like your father.”

His eyebrows shoot up. “I am nothing like that bastard.”

“Oh no? I recall him turning his back on his child, too.”

His jaw tightens and the muscle work beneath his skin. “What the hell do you know about being there for someone, Lane?”

That hurts. It’s a direct blow to the heart. He’s calling me out for leaving him four years ago and it can’t come at the worst opportune time. Doesn’t matter. Before I dumped his sorry ass, I was always there for him. “A hell of a lot more than you do, apparently.”

“That’s fucking bullshit. You turned your back on me. You always do. When you think I put something else ahead of you, you bail. You did it that night on the dock and you’re doing it again now.”

I shake my head. “That’s not why I left you, Noel. I left you because you were a selfish bastard who cared more about himself than the person who loves you the most in the world.”

The suitcase hits the floor with a loud thud when I yank it off the bed and roll it towards the door. 

Noel steps in my path and grabs me by the shoulders. “Please.” His voice is so low it’s a near whisper. “Please stay with me.”

I close my eyes. I can’t look at him. Even though what he’s done to me is completely shitty, I don’t want to see him this way. Hurting him again is the last thing I want to do, but I can’t stay. Not after all this. “Let me go, Noel.”

“No,” he says. “I’m going to fight for you. I need you to know you’re my everything. I can’t lose you again. I just want you to give me a chance, Lane—a chance to prove myself to you.”

His words sting. How I wish they were true. If they were, he would’ve ended things with Sophie the minute we reconnected and told me everything. Instead, he hid everything from me. 

“How can I trust you now?” I open my eyes and touch his cheek. “I’m sorry,” I say before I step out of his hold and roll my suitcase out the door. 

This isn’t the brightest idea I’ve ever had. I roll my suitcase through the parking lot and try to stay out of all the road crews way as they push and pull amps and speakers toward the arena. I’m not even sure what city we’re in, let alone how to find a place to run away to in order to avoid running into Noel. 

“Lanie?” I hear my name spoke by an unfamiliar voice and I turn. It’s the bodyguard that’s always herding Noel’s fans away. Noel probably sent him to find me. Great.

“Oh, hey, Mike.” I reply as coolly as I can and hope he doesn’t notice the heavy-ass bag I’m toting around with me. 

His eyes drop down on my hot-pink luggage. “You going somewhere?”

I tuck a loose strand of hair behind my ear. “Um, yeah, actually. I need to find a hotel, but I’m not sure how to get out of this place or even what city we’re in, so I can Google a cab company.”

He frowns at me. “I can take you if you want.”

If he wasn’t so big, I’d wrap my arms around him and thank him profusely for saving my life. “That would be awesome.”

He smiles and for a second he loses that intimidating bear vibe and turns cuddly. “Come on, the Escalade is parked on the other side of the buses.”

Mike takes over the handle of my suitcase and starts walking. I don’t argue. With his muscles pulling that thing, we’ll get out of here twice as fast.

When the SUV comes in sight he hits a button of the key and the trunk opens. Mike shoves my bag inside and we both jump in the cab.

“What hotel do you want to go to?” he asks.

I shrug. “It doesn’t matter—the cheaper the better.”

He nods and backs out of the parking space. “The tour manager booked us all rooms at a local hotel. You’re more than welcome to have my room.”

“Oh, no, Mike. I can’t do that. You need your room.”

He laughs and shakes his buzz cut head. “Lanie, you’re welcome to it. I’ll bunk up with one of the other guys. It’s no big deal.”

As bad as I feel for taking his room, I agree to it. Being broke majorly sucks in emergencies like this. What little money I have left in my checking account will be spent on buying me a plane ticket back to New York where I belong.

My heart instantly sinks. I don’t belong there anymore either. Not only is my job at Center Stage Marketing flushed to hell, but that non-compete contract makes it impossible to get another marketing job in the city.

I’m royally screwed. 

Mike pulls the Escalade under the awning of the Hilton and opens my door after he grabs my bag. “Come on. I’ll check you in.”

I smile. He’s unbelievably nice. How can he work for a douche bag like Noel?

Mike walks up to the check-in desk and the blonde clerk blushes as she speaks with him. I can see why girls like him. He looks like he can lift you with one hand and plus has these amazingly cute dimples. 

He grins, while the attractive blonde writes down what appears to be her number and slides it across the counter to him. He folds the little scrap of paper and tucks it, along with his I.D., back into his wallet.

Mike waves bye to the girl and then turns to me with the hotel key-card. “Room 211, Lanie. Do you need me to help you with your bag?”

I shake my head and pat his arm. “Thank you, but no. You’ve done so much to help me already.”

The handle on my bag clicks as I pull it up. 

Mike tilts his head and pulls his mouth into a tight line. “You know, Lanie, he’s different with you. I’ve worked for him a long time and he’s mentioned you several times before, but I didn’t know how much he actually loves you, until he saw you again that first night in Houston.”

I bite my lip. It’s nice to hear confirmation of Noel’s feelings for me, but it doesn’t change the facts. “He’s having a baby, Mike, and he neglected to tell me about it.”

He frowns. “He has his reasons. All I’m saying is give him a chance to explain them to you. Maybe it’s not what you think.”

Before I can say anything else, Mike turns and heads for the exit. Noel’s lucky to have him. That guy seems to really care about him.

It takes me two tries to get the room unlocked and get inside.

 Stupid technology.

The room isn’t anything special—a typical king-sized bed type room. I sit my bag on the floor and flop back onto the bed. What the fuck am I going to do? I scrub my hand down my face. This is one big clusterfuck. 

My job is screwed. 

My love life is shit.

I sigh and dig my cell phone out of my pocket and search Aubrey’s number. “What’s up lucky girl? How’s that fine man of yours?”

I close my eyes. “Not good.”

They’re the only words I can get out before I start balling over the phone. I let it all go. The emotion and hurt I refused to let myself feel in front of Noel. Anger somehow put on the backburner as I allow my heart to break over the phone with my best friend.

“Aw, baby cakes, tell me what happened?” Aubrey sounds concerned.

It kills me to bring myself to admit to her what an awful person Noel is. “He’s such an asshole.”

She lets a heavy breath waft into the phone. “Did he hurt you? I’ll kill him if he laid a finger on you.”

I roll my eyes. “Nothing like that. He’s just…” I take a deep breath. “Noel has a girlfriend, Aubrey.”

“What!?” I rip the phone away from her shrill screech. “What do you mean he has a girlfriend?”

A tear rolls down my cheek and I wipe it away with the palm of my hand. It’s hard to say that out loud. “I guess he has for a while, but that’s not the worst part.”

“What can be any worse than that?”

“She’s pregnant.”

Aubrey gasps. “Like, with a baby?”

I roll my eyes. “Yes. She says it’s Noel’s.”

“Oh, my God. Screw the job, Lanie. Run away as fast as you can from that freak show. Come home.”

I can’t bring myself to tell her that Sophie is Riff’s ex. That will only make her feel weird, and this situation is fucked up enough as it is, without adding that to the mix. 

I sigh and think about catching the next flight back to New York, so I can wallow in my own apartment. Being anywhere around Noel Falcon is the last thing I want to do, which is why I’m here. To get some space and figure out what my next move is.

A knock on the door startles me. Damn, I should’ve put the do not disturb sign on the door since it’s still midmorning. “Just a minute,” I say.

“Who is that?” Aubrey questions. 

I shove myself up from the bed and start towards the door. “It’s probably just housekeeping.”

I pull the door open, expecting to find maid service, and my heart clenches in my chest. “What are you doing here?”

Noel shrugs with his hands in shoved deep his pockets. The neck of his red shirt hangs lose from the fight with Riff and his dark hair still wild. His face red and the sparkle in his blue eyes gone, replaced by dullness. He looks awful. “Can I come in?”

A sane person would slam the door in his face after telling him to take a flying leap. As much as I want to do that, I can’t bring myself to after looking at his face. He looks broken. 

Maybe he actually cares that I left? 

 I pull the door open and he squeezes past me so I can shut the door. I lean my forehead against the door and take a deep breath. “Aubrey, I’ll have to call you back.”

“Is it him?”

I nod. “Yes.”

She takes a breath. “Tell him to fuck off, Lanie. You don’t need to put up with his shit.”

After I tell her okay, and she’s satisfied I’m about to throw him out on his ass, I end my call. He’s waiting in silence—waiting on me to make a move. Since I’ve already let him in, I have no choice but to face him—to hear him out. 

I turn around and lean against the door, but I can’t look at him. The worn carpet on the floor marks a path from the bed to the door. It makes me wonder how many happy couples spent romantic weekends in this room and if any ever went through anything like this situation—betrayal by a lover. 

Noel takes a step toward me and grabs my hand. I try to jerk away but he refuses to let go. “I know you hate me and never want to see me again, but I can’t let that happen. You mean everything to me, Lane. I don’t love Sophie. I never have, but I love you, more now than ever. I can’t lose you.”

My chest crunches tight at the sound of her name on his lips. A tear falls from my eye. “Why did you sleep with her, Noel? How could you betray Riff like that? More importantly, how could you keep this from me? We are not supposed to have secrets.”

He sighs and then brings my knuckles to his lips. “I don’t even remember her getting into my bed, to tell you the truth. I’m not always on my best behavior and, honestly, I was too wasted most of the time to remember much of anything, a few months ago. One morning, I woke up and there she was—completely fucking naked. I knew Riff would go through the fucking roof when Sophie told him what happened, so I bought her a plane ticket home.”

“You sent her home?”

He nods. “I wanted the problem gone. I felt like shit because I couldn’t believe that even in a fucked up state I could let that happen. Riff’s the only family I have. I would never dick him over like that, or so I thought. That’s why I sent her away—to fix things.”

“You don’t remember sleeping with Sophie at all?”

Noel frowns. “Nothing. That’s what kills me. I watched Riff call her a million times after he figured out she split, knowing at some point I would have to fess up to my shit. To be honest, I prayed Sophie would never tell him, but I knew she would. It’s just the kind of person she is.” He takes a ragged breath and pinches the bridge of his nose. “She told him we’d slept together, and she could never go back with him after that.”

I shake my head. Poor Riff.

“Riff immediately hated me—despised me for taking her away from him. We’ve fought so many goddamn times over her, I’ve lost count. I try to explain to him that I don’t love her, but he won’t listen. That only makes things worse. He’ll never forgive me.”

“Have you seen her since she left?”

He shakes his head. “No, and I never planned to either, not until a month ago when she called Riff to tell him she’s pregnant with my baby. I have a hard time wrapping my head around it, you know. Even wasted, I always use a condom when I sleep with someone. I don’t know how this happened to me.”

I look into his eyes. “You didn’t use a condom with me.”

Noel’s gaze flick to mine. “That’s because you’re you, Lane. I love you. You’re the only girl I’ve ever loved and I had to fucking have you. I had to be near you—feel you completely. I’ve missed you so much.”

I blink out a couple more tears. “If you haven’t seen her, why do people call her your girlfriend?”

He sighs and then pinches his nose between his thumb and forefinger again. “I called Sophie after I found out she was pregnant. She told me she’s almost positive it’s mine and I felt sick. I always thought when I start a family it will be with the love of my life. Someone just like you.” My stomach knots and my legs feel week. I grip the door handle for support. “The thought of a little kid running around out there that belongs to me makes me want to step up to the plate. I don’t want the kid to hate me. If Sophie’s baby is mine, I want to be there for it.”

Noel will make a great father and I guess I didn’t give him enough credit. He’s not as immature as I thought. 

I shake my head. “That still doesn’t explain the whole girlfriend thing.”

He shrugs. “Sophie said the only way she’ll let me be a part of the whole process is if she can claim we’re together—something about not wanting to look like a slut and all that.”

“But you’re not even sure the baby belongs to you.”

“I know, but if it is, I want to be a better father than mine is to me. I want to be in its life. I won’t turn my back on it. If Sophie wants to call herself my girlfriend so I can, that’s fine, but I don’t have to love her and it doesn’t have to be true.”

“Do you know how absurd that sounds?”

Noel nods and his sets gaze on me. “I would’ve never agreed to it, Lane, if I knew that we were going to happen. You have to believe me.”

Mistakes can happen. I know this. I know Noel isn’t a virginal type of guy. Hell the whole world knows he has a massive sexual history, but the world also doesn’t get to see this sweet side of him—the side that will do anything for anyone. My Noel. 

“Can’t you just wait and get paternity tests once the baby’s born then take her to court for visitation? I’m pretty sure you can afford an attorney. 

“I could do that, but then I’d miss all the ultrasounds and the birth. I want to be apart of everything, if that’s my kid.”

“If the baby isn’t yours, then that means it’s…”

He rubs his face. “Not Riff’s. He can’t have kids. He got into some kind of accident when he was younger or something.”

“But, it’s possible, right? She was with him before you.”

The thought of Riff and Noel sharing the same girl makes me shudder. 

“I don’t think so.”

“How does Riff feel about all this?”

Noel shrugs. “He won’t talk to me about it. He feels betrayed and won’t speak to me. Whenever I try to talk to him about it, things get…ugly, and that’s not good for the band.”