Rocky Mountain Hero (To Love Again Book 3) (2 page)

“Dad was very clear that we had to find the place he had marked on the map. We stopped during the day to watch some caribou and it got later than we thought. It was getting dark and we still hadn’t found the place on the map.”

“Were you scared then?” she whispered.

“Plenty scared. Jesse wanted to just set up camp for the night before it got too dark. Which made sense actually - it was what we’d been taught. But I had a feeling.”

“You mean something about your dad’s instructions?”

“Exactly,” he squeezed her shoulder and she trembled under the strength of his hand. “Dad was so insistent that we find the spot on the map, I thought there was more to it than just a test.”

“So you kept going.”

“Jesse didn’t want to, but I convinced him. Actually, I just kept going and he didn’t want to be left alone so he followed.”

“He’s your younger brother, right?”

“Only by a year, but enough to make a difference. We kept going and just as it was getting so dark there would be no choice but to stop and make camp, we found the place on the map.”

“What did you find?”

“It was an old forestry hut, tucked into the trees beside a little stream. It was fabulous. There was a wood stove and a big pile of wood. Dad had already been there and had left hot soup in a thermos. There were even cots and a couple of old blankets.”

“So he didn’t throw you into the wilderness to fend for yourselves?”

“No.” Tray pushed himself up and put another piece of wood on the fire. Isabel watched his easy grace, the quiet confidence in his movements. There was something about Tray that didn’t fit with her picture of him as a young college kid. She’d been thinking about that before and now her thoughts turned back to that.

Maybe it was the type of experience he’d just talked about – having to fend for himself at such a young age, or at least to think that he was fending for himself. Maybe it was growing up on a farm. She knew that brought with it a whole set of responsibilities that children in the city wouldn’t have: rising early, chores before school, chores after. Everyone pitching in to help keep the family business running. It was a nice way to live, she thought. Working your own land, and working alongside your family and neighbors. Her friend Jenny also came from a farm and she talked about knowing the whole community. That would be a good way for kids to grow up – knowing the whole community. What was the saying – it takes a village to raise a child?

She wished she’d had some of that support. Once Chet left, she didn’t have anyone. Her parents and sister were too far away to help. She didn’t know her neighbors, didn’t have close friends with children. She was left with a demanding practice and two kids that needed her attention. She had a fantasy of being on the farm, or in a small community, and having the whole community rush in to help her. It was a nice fantasy – and one she knew was reality for others depending on where they lived, on their circumstances.

Tray kicked at the fire, head down, across from Isabel. In the dancing light, he appeared even taller. She imagined him as a small child, resolute, determined to find the spot on the map. She could see that same determined spirit in him now.

She admired his courage. He took a big risk asking her to be his teacher. He was willing to put himself on the line for what he wanted. It was a trait she could relate to – a mirror image of herself.

CHAPTER THREE

“It’s cozy,” she said, looking up to meet Tray’s eyes. “Hard to believe this small fire is warming the entire space.”

“Fire’s a wonderful thing. Hungry?”

“Not right now.” There was something she needed to know about Tray, a piece missing. This might be her opportunity. “Tray, the whole map exercise with your father, how did it make you feel?”

“Aside from scared, you mean?” He chuckled and pushed a stray lock of hair out of his eyes. “It’s hard to explain.”

“Try,” she said softly.

“It was a great adventure. Me and Jesse, finding our own way through the woods. I remember the feeling of independence – and confidence. Confidence because our father trusted us enough to send us out there alone.”

He reached for a longer stick and stirred the ashes, before placing a shorter piece on the fire. “What I remember most though, is the feeling I had when Jesse wanted to stop.”

“Like you were giving up?”

“That, yes - like we were giving up too soon. But it was more than that. A feeling in my gut that convinced me I should keep going. It was so strong I didn’t question it for even a minute.”

Isabel smiled. “Intuition.”

“Yes, I learned a powerful lesson that day. I learned to listen to myself, to that inner voice that I hadn’t even known existed. And finding the hut taught me something else.”

Isabel waited, trying to read his face.

“I learned not to stop before the miracle happens.”

“Before the miracle happens?” As the words came out of Isabel’s mouth, she heard the skepticism and wanted to suck them back in, but it was too late.

He shrugged his shoulders and stirred the fire once more. He lowered himself to his haunches and stared into the flames.

“When Jesse wanted to stop, I knew there was something more, something better. Partly because of my faith in my father, but it was more. I just knew.”

He met her eyes briefly and she knew she could drown in the depths of those eyes. “I just knew, Isabel. Remember, we were kids. We were in the woods, it was getting dark, the adventure wasn’t seeming like so much fun anymore. But I was convinced that we should keep going. Convinced that there was something more, something better.”

“And there was, when you reached the cabin.”

“That was the miracle. The hut itself yes, but the soup, the beds, the stove and firewood. We were willing to settle, to be safe, but when we pushed the extra distance we found so much more.”

She knew what he meant, it had happened so many times in her own life. Her studies, for one. Her family had wanted her to stop when she had her psychology degree, but she continued to complete her doctorate. She wanted to practice, she had a clear vision and she was willing to risk the safety and go for the miracle.

Even when Chet left. After that first year, he’d called and wanted to come back. She knew it would be so much easier to raise her children with their father in the picture. She struggled through many sleepless nights wondering if she had the right to deny her daughters access to their father, but in the end she couldn’t return to a loveless marriage. Ironically, being alone had somehow shown her how empty her marriage had been. Chet removed had been like taking your finger out of a glass of water - there was no noticeable difference. Once the shock was gone, and the pain started to subside, she realized it was she and the girls that were her family. Chet had been an outsider almost from the beginning. He’d put everything before them: his work, his friends, his weekend
business trips
.

Isabel hadn’t had time to think about her love life. Was there a miracle left in that department? Maybe when the time was right and she had everything else under control. The girls were away at school and once she had things straightened out with her practice, there might be a possibility.

She wasn’t sure if she believed in love twice in a lifetime, although in her practice she’d seen couples work through many things, and often fall back in love.

She also knew that sometimes a marriage couldn’t be saved, and people had to go their separate ways. It was rare that she felt that, but when she did, she believed that those people would find love again when they were ready.

She believed it for her clients. The problem was, she didn’t believe it for herself. Would she be able to love again?

“I know what you mean,” she said.

Tray rose and came to settle beside her, folding his long legs into a pretzel shape in front of him. He took her hand in his, rested it on his knee and drew tiny circles in her palm. “That lesson has served me very well in life. I know that I need to keep going, keep searching until the miracle happens. With the farm, for example - I could still be there. They need me, but I need to follow my dream. I want to help people, and when I finish my degree I will.”

“You won’t stop until the miracle happens.”

“I’ve had a lot of opportunities, Isabel – with women, I mean. Situations that might have turned into something serious. Maybe a couple of times I could have created a comfortable marriage for myself… ”

“But?” Isabel turned to catch a look of discomfort on his fine features.

“I wanted to wait for the miracle to happen.” She looked straight into his eyes and her heart leaped into her throat. Her breathing damn near stopped and the blood pounded through her veins like charging horses. My God, was he saying the miracle had happened?

CHAPTER FOUR

Tray reached for Isabel’s hand, wishing he could take back the words that hung in the air between them, but he could not. It would be like trying to catch smoke. He could neither deny nor define them. She stared at him in what appeared to be shock.

His brain raced as he searched for something to say, something to right it. “The cave, Isabel. This cave, today. I was ready to stop and make sure we would be safe for the night. But look what happened when we kept going.”

A look of disbelief swept across her face and she regarded him suspiciously. “That was the miracle?”

He could kick himself, but he’d turned away from the truth and couldn’t back down now. “You didn’t think it was a miracle?”

“Yes,” she agreed, clearly confused yet seeming more relaxed. Relieved. He’d been right. His feelings were not something she wanted to have to deal with.

They weren’t something Tray wanted to deal with either. They were out of control. Cuddled up with Isabel in this cave, telling her stories of his childhood, it felt like they were partners, or at least romantically interested in each other. He knew that wasn’t the case. As much as he might be feeling for Isabel, he was determined to keep his word. He’d promised her that he wouldn’t get emotionally involved. That she could count on him to be a good student and walk away when the lesson was done. It was proving more difficult than he could have ever imagined.

Isabel’s clear thinking through the storm had taken him by surprise. He hadn’t expected her to be flighty and hysterical as would many of the girls he knew, but while she was clearly scared, she’d just followed his lead and kept up with him on the way down the hill. Later, when he left her to gather more cover for the lean-to, she’d actually built it to the point where she could climb in and get shelter. That had also surprised him.

However, it probably shouldn’t. She’d been left alone with two children and had still built a successful practice. The woman was definitely a survivor. And given the way she’d just been looking at him, self-preservation was still top of her mind.

He only had so much time with her and he was determined to make the most of it. He would keep his feelings in check. He would play the good student, learn what she was willing to teach him about sexuality and seduction, and not scare her off. She had that deer-in-the-headlights look he was familiar with. Better to keep his feelings to himself and enjoy what little time they would have together.

“Should we eat a little before we sleep?” he asked, reaching into the pack for the food.

Isabel nodded and unwrapped the packets as he passed them to her.

“And maybe some hot tea?” he asked, pulling out a small cooking pot.

Isabel laughed and gave him a look of admiration. “You have an entire kitchen in there.”

“Something like that,” he replied. “Back in a sec.” He walked through the opening, through the smaller tunnel and was met with a blast of cooler air.

Just outside the rock face, the storm raged on, blowing snow swirled against the black of the night. He scooped a potful of snow and hurried back inside.

When the water was almost boiled, he threw a teabag in the water and dug through the pack again to produce cups.

Isabel wrapped her hands around the cup of tea he passed her, and breathed the steam in. “Nice to have something hot,” she said. “Is it still snowing outside?”

She’d put together a couple of sandwiches and they settled in for a late evening snack.

“Coming down like cats and dogs,” he said, between bites, suddenly ravenous.

“I thought that was an expression for rain?”

“Trust me, it works for this, too. As long as the cats and dogs are being thrown through the air like they’re in a tornado.”

“Do you think it will last the night?” she asked quietly, her brow furrowed.

“It may. Don’t worry, we have lots of wood. We’ll be fine here ‘til morning. As soon as the snow stops, or the wind dies down, we can start down.”

“What if it doesn’t stop? No one knows we’re here,” Isabel’s voice rose as she gave voice to her fear.

Tray remembered that she had no outdoor experience, and she’d been a trooper up until now. He’d forgotten how terrifying being stuck outdoors could be to someone who was used to a house, a bed, a roof. He set his tea down and cupped her face in his hands, gently stroking her cheeks with his thumbs.