Role of a Lifetime (14 page)

Chapter 35

"Who wants another one?  Kelly?"

"Yes," Kelly replied, "I'll get it."  He started to stand up and let out a big groan.

Stuart and some of the other guys laughed and Kelly dropped back down onto the sofa.  He had spent the day chasing Stuart around the mountain.  Kelly was a decent skier but Stuart was phenomenal.  That, coupled with the fact that during the filming of "Mistakes" he had slacked off on his workouts, meant he was hurting right now.  A lot.

"You better hit the hot tub later if you expect to go back out tomorrow.  Here."

Kelly accepted the beer that was pushed into his hand.

"Tomorrow?" he moaned a little bit at the idea of skiing again the next day and there was some more laughter.

They hung out by the fire until someone said that dinner was ready.  The caterers had set up a huge buffet in the enormous kitchen and Kelly filled a plate and, after glancing around the table, took the seat next to Zoe.  The entire party was made up of spouses and/or significant others except for the two of them.

"So did you ski today?" Kelly asked her as he sat down.

"No, just got here around three, maybe tomorrow."

The talk alternated between the skiing and the movie.  After dinner people sat around the table talking for a while then eventually drifted off, some to the fire, some to the hot tub.

"I guess I'm ready for the hot tub," Zoe said and got up from the table.

Kelly stayed at the table with some of the guys.  She headed out the sliding door to the patio area.  The hot tub on the deck fit twenty people easily.  Kelly watched while Zoe peeled off her yoga pants and jacket and walked down the steps into the water.  Once she sat down in the water and he couldn't see her anymore he made up his mind.  He grabbed a water bottle and poured a beer and a merlot into two plastic cups, Stuart's wife had been adamant that there would be no glass around the pool.  Then he headed outside.

"I thought you might like some more water, or wine," he said to Zoe and set them both down next to her head on the edge of the pool, "Sorry about the cup, house rules."

"Oh thanks," she said and smiled at him as he took off his long sleeve t-shirt and sweat pants.

They spent the next couple of hours talking in the hot tub, getting out and sitting on the side when they got too hot and getting back in when they cooled off.  Gradually people left for bed until they were the only ones left.  Suddenly the overhead lights switched off and they were plunged into darkness.

"Oh!" said Zoe.

"They must be on a timer."

"So our time is up then, huh?"

"Looks that way."

There were small solar powered lights around the deck.  Kelly's eyes adjusted quickly and he grabbed Zoe by the hand to guide her.

"Are these your clothes?" he asked her.

"Yes, thanks."

She was shivering and he helped her on with her jacket.

"Where are your clothes?" she asked him.

"Got them, here," he said holding them up

"Are you going to put them on?"

"No, I'm still wet," he paused, then went for it, "I have a hot tub at my cabin, I'll probably just get right in."

"Which one are you in?"

"Whistler, you?"

"Alta."

He grabbed her hand again as they made their way down the path talking about Stuart, and why he would buy a house in Aspen and name the guest cabins after other ski areas.  They got to Zoe's cabin first.

"Well this is me I guess," she said.

Kelly looked up at the Alta sign.

"Yes it is."

"Ummm...I have a hot tub too actually."

Kelly didn't say anything, he just leaned in and kissed her.  She opened her mouth a little and he took advantage of that as he wrapped his arms around her.  He slipped his hand up under her jacket and felt her bare, wet back.  Which was covered in goose bumps.

"You're freezing," he said after he stopped kissing her, "We should get you in the hot tub."

"This way," she said.

Kelly followed her through the cabin and out the back.  He quickly noted that it was an almost identical setup to the one at his cabin, namely that the hot tub area was completely fenced in and very private.  He tossed his clothes on a chaise lounge and got in.  He watched Zoe remove her jacket and then her pants and come down into the water with him.   He reached out for her and she put her hand in his and he pulled her towards him.

Once he had her next to him he waited to see what she would do and when she didn't hesitate and straddled him, he got very excited.  He wrapped his arms around her and kissed her.

They made out for a while.  Kelly was more than ready and when he finally couldn't take it anymore he slid his hands down her back and ground her into him.  She made a noise he couldn't quite decipher the meaning of and pushed away.  He thought he had probably blown it.  Then she raised herself out of the water and took her bikini top off.

"Damn," Kelly said and she giggled.

He couldn't take his eyes off her breasts.  They were spectacular and they looked real.  One way to be sure.  He started to reach for her and then looked up into her face.  She looked happy and eager and young.  Very young.  He stopped himself before he knew what he was doing.  God, how old was she again?  Twenty five or twenty six, but he was forty four.  She was closer to Lia's age then his.

That was it.  Once he thought of Lia, he thought of Holly and he was done.  He had tried to talk to Holly the day she broke up with him but she had refused to answer his calls.  He had been furious.  But now, on the verge of, this, it didn't matter.  He loved Holly, he was sure of it, and not in a casual, hooking up between films kind of way.

"Kelly?" Zoe said and leaned into kiss him.

God he had to stop this and it was not going to be pretty.  He turned away at the last second and Zoe stopped, confused.

"What?" she said, "What's wrong?"

"Zoe, I," Kelly winced as she settled back down into the water on top of him.  He grabbed her by the waist, with the mindset of yanking her off him, but figured that would come across as too harsh, so he just held her still.

"What?" she said and wrapped her arms around his neck and leaned into him.

"Stop," he said, as their upper bodies connected.  He lifted her off him, awkwardly, and set her down on the seat next to him.

"Hey!"

"I'm sorry Zoe," he said as he started to get out of the water, realized what she was going to see if he did that, and sat back down.  "You are gorgeous, really, and smart and an amazing actress, but I can't do this, I can't."

"Kelly," she said, and reached for him under the water.

He felt her hand on his thigh and slid away from her.

"There's somebody else," he said, "We're kind of going through a...rough patch right now, but I want to make it work, with her.  I'm sorry."

She didn't say anything but the look on her face made it clear she wasn't happy.  He couldn't tell if she was mad or sad but whichever it was, it was his fault and he felt horrible about it.  At the same time the situation was so uncomfortable it killed his erection and, relieved, he quickly got up out of the hot tub.  He grabbed a towel from the stand and dried off quickly, then picked up his clothes.

Zoe hadn't moved and her back was to him.  He circled around the hot tub so he could face her.

"Zoe, I'm sorry, this is my fault, really..."

She looked up at him and pushed herself up out of the hot tub and sat down on the edge.  The steam was rising off her body but her nipples hardened up from the cold almost immediately.

"You said that before Kelly, if you're so sure you don't want to be here, then why don't you just leave already?"

"Yep, right, sorry," he said, and turned and went back through the cabin.

He heard the splash as she sat back down in the water.  He walked out the front door of the cabin and the cold air was a bit of a shock this time.  He hurried through the night to his cottage and, once inside, went right into the shower.

He took his time warming up in the hot water and formulated a plan while he did so.  He'd fly out tomorrow morning, soon as he could.  He'd go right to Holly's house and hopefully she would be home, but if not he would sit there for as long as it took.  And then he'd tell her how he felt about her, like he should have done a long time ago.  The rest, he supposed, was up to her.

Chapter 36

"Oh no," Holly said.

"What?" said the deli clerk.

"I just remembered, I don't need any ham, actually, well you already cut it, so I guess I'll take it."

"No, it's fine," the woman said, and put the pieces she had just cut back on top of the slab of meat and wrapped it, "What else?"

"That's it for the deli, but I'm going to get some fish," Holly said.

"Sure, meet you down there."

Holly pretended to study the fish in the case as the woman made her way over to it.  She already knew what she was getting, the cod was on sale.

"Still deciding?"

"The cod, half a pound."

Half a pound was too much, for just herself, that is.  Half a pound would feed her and Lia both.  But buying just a quarter pound of fish was too depressing, especially after almost buying the ham which only Lia would eat.  Lia had called it "bam" when she was little.  The memory made Holly sniff a little.

She got through the rest of the shopping although most of her really just wanted to go home and crawl back into bed.  She decided, as she drove home, that she'd go right to the barn and work, once the groceries were put away.

Holly was going to the weekly group therapy sessions at the vet hospital, sometimes with Maire, sometimes alone.  She was still just the animal therapy volunteer, but she listened intently throughout every session.  One of the things Mia had said was doing something, anything, but especially something productive, was better than sitting around dwelling on what was bothering you.

Holly had taken that to heart, but the pottery was piling up.  She decided to spend the afternoon applying glaze to some of the pieces that had been drying for a while.  Normally she would fire the pieces first, then glaze them, too much could go wrong with a single fire process, but with the amount of finished pieces she had sitting around waiting for the first fire, she really didn't have much to lose.

Happy with that decision, Holly turned down her long driveway, her spirits much improved.  Then she saw the strange car in the driveway and the man sitting on her front step.  She parked the car, got out and ran towards him, unsure of who it was, but completely convinced that something horrible had happened to Lia, and he was the person that had been sent to tell her.  She was shocked when he looked up and she recognized him.

"Hi Holly," Kelly said smiling.  The smile faded when she stopped several feet away from him.  "Just hear me out okay?"

"I saw, I didn't know it was you, I thought, something must have happened.  To Lia."

"I'm sure Lia's fine," he said, and got up off the step and took a couple of steps towards her.

Holly looked up at him and felt the regret come back.  The same feeling she got every time she thought about him since she had ended it, a little over a month ago.  Because you had too, she told herself sternly.

"What do you want?" she asked him.

He winced a little and she felt bad.  But really what did he want?  She wanted him, but she couldn't have him.  Having him show up out of the blue like this wasn't going to help her get over him.  And she needed to get over him.

"I just wanted to tell you something," he said, "I should have told you a month ago, I realize that now, but I was, never mind.  It's not a casual thing Holly, you and me, how I feel about you, it was never like that and I didn't expect you to hook up with me between movies."

He stopped, waiting for her to say something probably, but she didn't.

"I haven't felt this way about anyone in a really long time Holly.  I love you.  I'm in love with you.  And if you don't want to come to California, ever again, well I think we can still make it work.  I mean, sometimes I have to work but I'd rather be away for a month or two and come back then just have it be over."

She started to cry then, and in an instant he had his arms around her and she buried her face into his chest.  He loved her and she loved him, but if it was going to work she had to come clean, she had to be completely honest with him.  Well, almost completely.

"I have to tell you something," she said fishing around in  her pocket for a tissue, "It wasn't the hooking up thing, I still wouldn't do that, but really that wasn't it."

"What was it then?"

She didn't want to tell him because she was sure he wouldn't understand.  But if she didn't tell him then there was no point in trying again because they would just end up right back here sooner or later.  So she took a deep breath and said it.

"It's Lia, I didn't want to go to Aspen because I didn't want to be that far away again, in case anything happened," she didn't want to look up at him because it was going to be too hard see it end again, but she had to make it clear,   "Lia needs to come first, I need to make sure you understand that."

"I understand that."

She pulled away from him a little bit and peeked up at him.

"You do?" she asked.

"Yes, I do, well, honestly, I think you worry about her too much.  She's a smart kid and yeah, the world can be a dangerous place, sometimes, but not that dangerous.  Or maybe you're right and I just don't get it because I'm not a parent.  But either way, it's okay.  Lia comes first, got it."

She was so stunned it was that easy that at first she didn't know what to say.  Then she remembered.

"I love you too."