Authors: Jessa Hawke
She hit the send button before she could chicken out. Not thinking she would hear back from Chad again at all, much less that night, Sarah busied herself with some reading that had been assigned in one of her classes. But just when she sat the book in her lap and leaned her computer chair back her email chimed.
“No way,” Sarah said to herself. “No way am I actually talking to Chad Jackson right now!”
His newest email read.
Sarah, I'm glad that I'll be passing through your town soon. It is funny that we will be playing there in a Christian coffee shop considering we aren't religious at all and the venue will most likely be too small, unless I completely and totally underestimate how many people might show up. Who knows though. These kind of things are hard to judge, especially when I'm not intimately familiar with the demographic of the area.
Will I get to see you the night of the show? From the sounds of it you're a pretty big fan my work so I'd love to meet you. Maybe you have something you'd like me to sign or something of that nature? If you do don't hesitate to bring it up. I'm completely and totally cool with signing merchandise, or even things as small as a napkin. I know how much some of these things can mean when they help to bring the work alive, so that my fans can know that there is someone behind the music, it's just not a machine churning out all these sad songs about love.
I hope you don't mind me asking but could you tell me a little more about what I can expect? And also, I might need to crash with someone. Do you know anyone that would be able to accommodate me and my drummer? Oh! I forgot to mention. My drummer will be able to make it now! I know it sounds like it might be something out of some kind of drama, but I'm not joking that my drummer's mother pulled out of her bout with cancer to make a miraculous recovery. It really it something to be astonished of and I want to emphasize that the most, how lucky we both are that that universe, and God if he exists, has decided to spare such a wonderful woman. Without her there would be no Just New, and myself and my drummer wouldn't even be a thing to have a name. We'd probably both be working some kind of insurance salesman job and hating life, wondering how everything went so wrong. Or anyway, that's what I like to think would have happened without her, because even if I would have been another kind of musician without her, it certainly wouldn't be the one I am now. And who I am now is truly who I want to be, so I am blessed in that respect.
So, Sarah, I hope that you can help us out somehow and maybe ask around and see if anyone would have any room available. Me and my drummed don't take up much room since we don't really have much gear to unpack, and always leave it locked in the van anyway.
Let me know!
Sarah had to sit and think about what she wanted to do. Did she want to have both of the men over with the chance of maybe getting some alone time with Chad? It seemed like a long shot at best. Surely he wouldn't just come over at her behest and spend the night in her apartment. It wasn't like she lived in the dorms or anything but she did live in a part of town that was known particularly for its partying. There wouldn't be anywhere for them to hide if they decided to come to her campus town apartment, no bar they could all retreat to that wouldn't have people in it too young to be able to keep from judging and maybe even from saying something. Sarah knew that Chad would ultimately be a good sport about it, but it was also her responsibility to make sure that her guests were comfortable and not in bad positions because of things that she did or didn't do. Clearly, not mention this to them would most likely be pretty shady. Sarah didn't want to sketch anyone out, so she was up front with Chad.
I really want both of you to come to my place to stay for the night. I know that might sound a bit forward, but just hear me out. So I live in campus town, right on top of the bar Estas. We could eat fish tacos there after your gig and then head up to my apartment to crash for the night. I think that would be easiest considering that the venue you'll be playing out is just down the street.
I feel like I need to add, though, that me living in campus town won't give us a very wide selection of bars to drink at after the tacos. Estas will be all right for a bit, but eventually the entire student body floods into the bars. So even though there will be bars and stuff across the street, hell, pretty much on all sides of us, we won't really be able to go exploring.
Sorry if that comes off weird, I just want you both to have an idea of what to expect. As far as my apartment goes, neither of you would be intruding at all. I don't mind having people over. My place is nice and big with a guest bathroom that includes a shower so that will be much easier than if I found you someone that lived in a place that was a little more adult but then only had a single bathroom—it's not that the places on main street are awful, it's just that it's an old part of town is all.
Anyway, let me know what you are thinking. If you want I don't have a problem finding you both another place to stay. I'm sure it wouldn't be that hard at all.
ttfn
But suddenly the conversation took a turn for the wrong direction. Sarah wondered if her short and sudden reply had put him off as much as the content.
I'm not sure why you think we would be so comfortable just coming over to a young woman's apartment, such as yourself, and spending the night. Even though it would be unlikely that you would spread any calumny around about us, it wouldn't behoove us if people got the wrong impression. I mean, I am old enough to be your father. That is, if your father were a very spree young man and got right to having a beautiful young lady like yourself. But even though you are most likely harmless I must insist that an effort be made to find a more suitable place to “crash” as I might have put it too lightly. Me and my compatriot don't mind staying in a seedy place, but we do mind coming off sleazy to people. And I don't want to feel like we are intruding on you, which we most certainly would be considering.
So please, do get back to me. And now it's my turn to be sorry if that came of strangely, but I do have to watch my reputation a little bit. I know it may seem trivial but you never know what is going to happen after the fact. You know? You never really know what someone is going to get on the internet and represent as the truth. For instance, if I were to come over and something were to happen—say the spark of romance led to some kind of illuminated intimacy, what then? Would Just New not then be, more or less, on the chopping block, as Americans like to say? I think that it would be. I mean, what else could happen? Because that's just the start. The allegations made could get us banned from doing any more US tours, and I don't think that would be acceptable at all. Especially considering how much Just New has struggled while so many other indie acts are passing us by.
I guess as a non-studio artist I need to be able to make sure that everything is legit before I can commit to it.
At first Sarah was shocked. How could things have gone so wrong when all she'd done was try to be cool to the guy she thought so highly of? It wasn't like she'd asked him to sleep with her, so it was funny, she thought, when he was the one to bring it up. But look who had started talking about it none the less?
Sarah didn't mind having to chase a little bit, but the holier than thou attitude was kind of lame. Most artists she'd met before, and even slept with, weren't this way. They didn't go about the world distrusting everyone. Instead they kept an open mind and had a good attitude, they were the kind of people that wanted to surround themselves with like minded persons. Nothing she had ever encountered before had prepared her for an artist with trust issues.
She had to admit, though, that maybe she had come off a little strong. She should have talked to him more or something, instead of just coming out and asking. It was obvious that had been the wrong thing to do. At the end of his email he'd hinted that maybe he'd be done to still come over if they met up and everything went well, he hadn't just outright shot it down and told her to go fuck herself. Although it did seem like maybe he'd come close a few times in his email, that was a threshold they had yet to cross.
How about we meet and talk about it the day of,
Sarah wrote.
If you aren't comfortable I completely and totally understand. It's not like I don't think that you should at least meet me. So if you would like we could meet before the show and talk a little bit. If you still aren't comfortable it's no big deal and I'll just be sure to line something up for you guys while you play. It won't be hard, I'm friends with the people that booked the show and the promoters. I'm sure they'll be able to put you up. But as Christians they might be a little strict about what happens, and about curfew.
In any event, just let me know. The show isn't for a few weeks, so we have plenty of time to work something else out if you don't think that sounds amendable.
The emails between them kept going back and forth. Sometimes she would make some headway in convincing Chad that he should meet her, and other times it sounded like he'd given up on the idea altogether and was just going to go to the show without seeing or hanging out with anyone and then hitting the road in their van without any rest. Sarah didn't think that it was a good idea for the band to head to Omaha without any kind of sleep, but she knew from some of their past tour blogs that they didn't have a problem going the extra mile to prove a point sometimes.
Once, outside a pub in Bristol, England, Chad was challenged by a fellow musician to go drive through the night, the next day, and the next night to go out of the way and play a show in a dive bar in the middle of nowhere. The way the bet, if it could be called that, had been laid out made sure that everyone understood that if they did go play the show that no one else would be there and that would mean the bands would lose money. The whole premise of the challenge was that Chad had said he'd do it if there was any musician at the festival they'd just played that would man up and go with him. A ruckus had broken out, with many other bands saying that they normally would but if they already knew that they were going to lose money and play to no one then they didn't see the point.
Chad had let it go, or just started to, when someone that had been sitting nearby nursing a beer let Chad know that he'd played in the festival as well, just at a different stage, and that he'd take him up on his offer right then and there. That's when the whole not sleeping thing had come into play because in order to do it the other guy had to load up his equipment and the rest of the band and hit the road right then and there to start driving—they were on tour and going out of the way meant sleeping less while they drove at night. But still, they insisted, they would do it if Chad proved not to be a blowhard and actually drove through the night and day with them. In front of them in fact, the man said. Chad could lead the way and he would follow.
Chad hadn't backed down, and had driven through the night and the day and had played one of the best shows that no one was there to see, but they recorded it and put it on the internet so people could enjoy it that way.
Sarah had no doubt that if she messed up and said something really stupid that Chad and the drummer would be out of there in a matter of minutes. And then she'd probably only see them ever again at the show, then never again after that. And any of the moments that they could have shared would be nothing but dust in the wind.
When the day that Just New got to Ames arrived Sarah had finally talked Chad into meeting. They met at the Indian restaurant right behind the coffee shop. It was convenient for both of them because it was close to Sarah's house, and Chad wanted to get out of there he could just walk to the venue he would be playing at a short time later and ask them for direction to a hotel. Sarah didn't want that to happen though, so here she sat, waiting for Chad who was just walking through the door.
“Why hello,” he said when he saw her. He stopped when he said it. Everyone looked.
Sarah couldn't help but giggle a little bit. She known she'd be a knock out in the shirt she wore, that really showed off her cleavage. She had short, black hair styled into a pixie and brown eyes. She also wore mostly black, with the only color on her body that wasn't black constituted a red handkerchief that she hung out of the back pocket of her pants.
Chad got something to drink and sat down across from her at the table.
“Well hello, Sarah,” Chad said. “Sorry to have been so standoffish. I know it can seem like I'm paranoid or something, but I just like to know who I'm talking to and what I'm dealing with exactly and sometimes people can really misrepresent who they are on the internet. I'm not trying to say that's what you were doing, but you have to look at it from my point of view. I'm coming to a campus that has a long history of unrest and also activism, so can I trust that you are really as beautiful in real life as you are in your pictures, and can I trust that your intentions are really as pure as you say? I don't know, and honestly it's all right not to know. But at least now we can talk to each other a little bit.”