Authors: Jessa Hawke
“Thanks, Liv,” she said, thankful she could hold back her tears. “I’m gonna go get dressed.”
Olivia gave her a playful swat as she headed to her room. The bed was a Queen sized canopy bed with gauzy pink curtains tied together and a pearlescent headboard. Her suitcase was sitting next to the high bed, and she ripped it open, hunting for the green dress Olivia told her to wear. She showered and slipped it on twenty minutes later, happy that she had one dress that hugged t pp0- he gentle curves of her slim frame. The skirt fell to mid-thigh, and it highlighted the creamy paleness of her skin, another aspect of her appearance Sharon used to tease her mercilessly for. When she caught herself in the mirror, she almost didn’t recognize herself; her face was flushed, her short hair curled gently around her face, and her eyes were soft and shining with excitement. Her curves looked fuller and her waist more pronounced. She realized she hadn’t worn this dress in a year, and hadn’t had a date since the first year she started working for the Ikedas. Had she really been neglecting herself for so long?
“No more,” Roz whispered to herself. She was going to take Olivia’s advice; no longer would she coast mindlessly through life on a wave of contentment. She wanted to feel like she had this afternoon---alive and changing and growing,
real.
She remembered Artie’s hand on hers, warm and solid, and the surge of adrenaline she’d felt when he leaned in, close enough to kiss her. Roz took a deep breath, holding her own gaze in the mirror.
I can do this,
she decided.
I’m going to do this. I’m going to win one for myself.
She strode out of her room with purpose, full of nerves and teeming with energy.
Two hours later, she felt as though she had been thrown to the bottom of a well. Artie had been perfectly pleasant to her, but had been far more interested in speaking with the other guests. The food looked amazing, but it was tasteless and cold to Roz. She played with her potatoes dejectedly until an attendant came and lifted it away. Olivia kept looking from Artie to Roz, apparently noticing his sudden coldness as well. Roz was happy she hadn’t imagined his warmth or his sudden change in mood; both had been so unexpected it would have been easy to convince her that she’d imagined it. The guests filtered out of the lovely dining hall slowly, scraping their chairs against the cleaning wooden floors loudly as they exited. Olivia, Roz, and Artie were last; Ben had taken Bradley to bed after he’d fallen asleep eating Jell-O. He’d patted Roz’s head affectionately as he left the room, the only gesture he could offer while holding his son. Olivia was gazing at Artie coolly. Roz fidgeted in her seat, wanting nothing more but to flee. He hadn’t said more than a few curt words to her all night. Her mind was jumpy from flipping through all the possible ways she could have offended him, but there were none that made sense. Olivia must have come to the same conclusion as well. She rose, finally, eyes still on Artie, who was staring at his wine glass resolutely.
“Well, Roz,” she said slowly. “I’ll see you at the cabin. I don’t think there’s anything worth staying for here.”
Roz burned with anger and embarrassment as she studied Artie’s face. He still wasn’t looking at her, and it was growing more and more awkward with every passing minute. She cleared her throat, waiting for him to look up. When he didn’t, she did it again. He still wouldn’t answer.
“Artie,” she snapped, finally fed up. “This is ridiculous. Just tell me why you’re blowing me off. Tell me you were playing with me. Tell me it was a dare.” Tears welled in her eyes, and Artie slowly raised his icy blue gaze to meet hers. “Just tell me you didn’t mean anything you said, so I can go. “ Roz stood, her legs shaky, but determined to storm out as strongly as Olivia had.
Artie sighed, and the sound broke Roz’s heart and shattered her will power. “My brother says I can’t hang out with you,” he said, utterly forlorn. He sounded so miserable that Roz actually laughed.
“You’re kidding, right?” she spat. “Your brother--who, if I remember correctly, is only a few years older than you---
forbade
you to hang out with me like you’re some child?” The anger swelling in her chest felt like it was too strong to be pointed at one person, but it felt good to let out. “You’re going to let your older sibling run your life---and for what? So you can keep impressing him?”
“You don’t understand,” Artie said, his voice hurt. “My whole life has been about making him happy, proving to him that I’m responsible. He thinks I’m just chasing after some silly fantasy.” His face burned red, and his words grew more fierce. “He doesn’t understand the way you make me feel. He’s never been like that.”
“He doesn’t have to understand!” Roz said desperately. She walked around the table and stood in front of him, and Artie stood quickly, startled by the movement. “He just has to respect your decisions. This is
your
life, Artie. You have to be the one happy to live it, not him. You have to remember to live for yourself. Tell Sh----tell your brother the truth.” Artie looked at her curiously, and Roz tried to move on, not wanting him to know she’d almost said her sister’s name. “Tell him you want this, and then just do it. You don’t need his approval. You don’t need
anyone’s
approval She hesitated, then placed her palms on either side of his face. Artie held her wrists gently, rubbing her soft skin with his thumb. “You just need to be happy. You’ve accomplished so much. Didn’t you promise your dad you’d never let this resort get in the way of your happiness?”
She watched her words impact Artie. The panic in eyes started to slide away, and his shoulders relaxed. His coloring returned to normal, and he pulled both her wrists around him until he could wrap his strong arms around her. Roz felt his heart beat against her chest, matching the frantic pace of her own. Roz relaxed into his broad chest, feeling the peculiarly fuzzy happiness that she discovered when she’d first been alone with him. It was unbelievable to her that she’d only known him a day; it felt much longer.
He pulled back from her too soon, but his eyes were soft and much warmer now. “I’m sorry,” Artie said, cupping her face gently. “I don’t know why I bowed to him like that. Thank you for saying all that. I think I really needed to hear it.” He was gazing at her full lips and studying her freckles with a look of pure wonder. “How did you know I needed to hear that?”
Roz smiled, embarrassed. “I know something about bowing to older siblings. Someone very close to me gave me a similar talk, or else I would have been as lost as you.” She felt a surge of affection for him, and before she could stop herself, she raised herself to her tiptoes and pressed her mouth against his.
Artie stiffened in surprise, then relaxed, wrapping his arms around his slim waist and holding her against him as his lips opened and their tongues entangled gently. She felt the breath leaving her lungs, and her skin tingled as she plunged her fingers into his wavy hair. He bent her backwards, pressing his lips harder against hers until she let out a delirious moan. Then he was pulling her up, and his mouth was receding. Roz sucked air into her lungs as he released her, and she grabbed his arms to steady herself as the ground rocked under her feet.
“Wow,” she said breathlessly. He was gazing at her intently, his pale blue eyes burning with emotion.
“Wow,” he echoed. “And to think I almost didn’t get to do that.”
“Idiot,” Roz teased. She heard a squealing sound from the doorway, and turned to see Olivia peering at them through the glass door. Roz flushed with embarrassment, but Artie just laughed.
“I’m glad she’s supportive,” he admitted. “I was worried she’d have a problem with me moving in on their nanny.”
“Are you kidding?” Roz said, smiling as Olivia ran away. “She basically threw me at you.” She shivered as Artie’s eyes moved over her face.
“I’m so happy about that, because I definitely wasn’t backing off.” He smiled, and dipped his head toward her for a kiss.
The next few weeks moved by so fast that living in them still felt too brief. She and Artie quickly became inseparable. Artie opened up more about his family, and Roz met Joey, his brother. He was nice, but he seemed to be biting his tongue. Roz had a feeling that was because of Artie, and she felt a stab of pride. He actually took her advice and made her feel heard. He also made her feel special without it seeming like an adult humoring a child, something she’d been afraid of due to their age difference. Artie’s passion and intelligence made him more youthful than Roz expected, though, and it endeared him to her more.
Even Bradley grew fond of Artie; he got used to seeing them hang around each other, and would “
Aw-tee!”
whenever he saw the man. Roz had never felt this way before, but she knew before he took her to the art building on their last evening together what she was going to say to him. They both had been carefully avoiding talking about what would happen when Roz left to go back home, but Roz, at least, knew what she
wanted
to happen. She wore the same green dress she wore the night they kissed. She held Artie’s hand as he steered her into the biggest art studio, where most of the advanced art classes took place. Her eyes were closed tight at his command, and she waited until he gave her shoulders a squeeze before opening them. When she saw the wall opposite her, she gasped: it was the sketch of the grounds she’d made on her first day, blown up after she’d finished painting it and placed high above the row of enormous windows. She couldn’t believe she was seeing her art on the walls of this place she’d grown to love, and as a lump swelled in her throat, she realized that
this
was the dream she wanted to chase. She turned toward the man who had helped her uncover her passion, eyes wet with tears.
“Thank you,” she said, trying to keep herself contained.
“I haven’t even told you the good news yet,” Artie said gently. Roz cocked her head, and he cupped her chin affectionately. “This is yours, if you want it. We need a weekend teacher for watercolors. And I think you’re just the woman for the job.” He beamed at her, waiting for her response. His smile slipped when there wasn’t one. Roz was staring at him, unable to process the words she’d just heard.
“That’s crazy,” she said weakly. “I can’t be an art teacher.”
“Is it crazier than me running a resort that fits the exact picture you had in your head?” Artie asked, his eyes burning into hers. “Is it crazier than us connecting so well on our first day with each other? Is it crazier than me falling in love with you in less than a month?”
Roz’s heart stopped. Artie flushed, apparently realizing what he’d just said. “I mean,” he said, panicked. “I don’t…want to get married right away or anything. And you don’t have to say anything. I just thought you should know.” Roz didn’t say anything, and this threw him deeper into a panic. The art studio’s silence seemed too much for him. “I just mean---“
“I love you too,” Roz said quietly. Her heartbeat was strong and sure, and as the smile on her face grew, she felt the truth of the words. “And I love this place. I would
love
to teach here.” She hesitated. “Does this mean you want to keep seeing me?”
Artie was shocked. His face was a mask of surprise, and then he burst into laughter. “Roz. I just told you I eventually want to marry you. You should listen a little closely.”
“Sorry,” she said hurriedly. “My head’s always in the clouds.”
Artie laughed, that rich, now familiar sound that rubbed along her skin like a velvet glove. “That’s what makes you so special. Your dreams are already sky high.” He kissed the top of her head as he pulled her closer, and she breathed in the scent of him. A month ago, she’d been spinning her wheels, and now she had reached two goals she never even knew she had. She wondered if her parents would be proud. She wondered if Sharon would be proud.
It doesn’t matter,
she reminded herself.
I’m proud of myself.
And she was; but as she stepped back from Artie’s embrace, she thought she saw a flash of movement outside the art studio door, followed by the low giggle and the
clack
of heels and Olivia and Ben hurried away. They were proud of her too, it seemed. It made it that much better.
THE END
Honoring Her Heart
The woman at the counter beamed at Matt, a practiced smile that had enough sincerity to it that it was clearly business that motivated her friendly banter. All the same, there was an element of pleasure to her throw away laughs at his unfunny joke about checking in late. Though old enough to comfortably be his mother, she was throwing in a slightly flirtatious glance, the sort Matt was overly familiar with and not particularly interested in following up on.
“Sorry to hear your apartment isn’t ready yet, Dr. Conroy.” She offered with a half-smile and an accompanying little sigh. “I’ll be honest. I gotta say I’m not surprised. Nothing against River Run, it’s a nice enough complex. I lived there for a while in the 90’s. Nice view of the creek! But they get some shady people in there and if there’s a big party- well, you know how it goes.”
“I certainly do.” Matt played along, even though there’d been virtually no partying for him during med school. There were fellow University of North Carolina graduates for whom studying came naturally. For Matt, his passion to pursue a medical career had meant sleepless nights and a completely empty social life. Apart from classes and regularly hitting the gym, he practically never met another real human being back at UNC.