Authors: Stella White
They all had offers for the property, and
he, of course,
accepted the largest which was over a billion dollars. I couldn’t believe what I was hearing; I didn’t imagine there was that much oil beneath his farm.
I started feeling guiltier after he accepted the offer. He didn’t even mind selling the old ranch house. The small house that I’d come to know and love.
If I didn’t tell him the truth soon, I had a feeling that I would never get the chance. With the deals all signed and done, I asked him if he had
a chance for
us to be alone.
We met in the
barn
a bit later.
“Mike, I don’t know why I waited this long, but
I
have something incredibly important I have to tell you.”
He nodded, there was a giant smile shot across his face that probably wouldn’t go anywhere anytime soon, or so I thought.
“Mike, I’m pregnant, only a couple months now,” I said after a long sigh.
Mike turned in place, started to pace around the doorway to the barn.
“Are you serious? You waited until now to tell me?”
I nodded.
“Do you know how bad this sounds?”
“What are you trying to say, Mike,” I asked.
“You had so long to tell me, how long have you known?”
I couldn’t look him in the eye.
“More than a month,” I squeaked out.
He smacked his hand against his face in annoyance.
“You know what, I doubt you were ever going to tell me. I know I’m not father material. I could
tell
you just wanted to sleep with me, and then you were just going to move on again just like you did before. You just can’t seem to stand and face your
own
problems.”
I held back the tears as best I could,
I
couldn’t believe what I was hearing.
“That’s mean, Mike.”
“You’re damn right it’s mean,” he replied, “you’re having a
baby,
and now you’re lording it over me after I make a deal for the largest sum of money I’ll ever see in my life. I bet now you’re going to ask for half of it just because I happened to sleep with you.”
I couldn’t stand the scrutiny, so I ran from the barn and headed toward the ranch house.
I charged up the stairs and into my room where I had my bag already packed from before. I threw a few other things inside before running out the door.
Buck waited outside.
“You
takin’
off, Jennie?” he said,
simply
.
“I won’t stay where
I’m not wanted
, Buck,” I replied.
“
Me
and Larry want you here,” he said.
“Well, the owner doesn’t want me anywhere near this place. And, I’m obliged to listen to him.”
I couldn’t hold back the tears anymore. I liked Buck, the way he always knew how to state things just right, and the way he would always help out when you needed it.
“Listen,
Jennie, you get lost out in the world, you know you always got a home here. We aren’t
goin’
anywhere,
ya
hear?”
I nodded and started hiking down the road. It was probably a
two-hour
walk into town, but that wasn’t anything to
worry about
.
At least,
I wouldn’t have to listen to Mike judge my every move and accuse me of wanting his money.
The time passed
slowly,
and I took the time to gather my thoughts. I didn’t
want
to return home, there was nothing for me there, and I had no interest in going back to that situation.
I wanted so badly for things to work out with Mike. But, the more I thought about it, the harder it was for me to keep my thoughts straight.
I took the first bus that left town, which led me further west. I felt like I was just running away from my problems, but I couldn’t think of anything else to do. There was nothing left for me here, nor was there anything left in the city.
I wondered where I would end up.
5.
Three months
passed,
and I found myself a place to work. I started a waitress job at a diner
at
the other side of the state. The work was simple and kept me
busy,
so I never had time to think about much else. I didn’t mind that at all.
I’d sometimes catch a man in a hat that looked similar, but looking closer would prove it wasn’t. I just kept smiling through the pain and trying my best to let it all pass.
Then I worked one Sunday
morning,
and a well-dressed man sat at the end of the bar reading his newspaper. I sidled up.
“What can I get you,” I asked.
“Cup of coffee, if you don’t
mind,
” he replied.
I recognized the voice. It was gruff but still sounded young.
“Mike?” I asked.
He lowered the newspaper and had a big smile shooting across his face again.
“You’re a hard woman to track down,” he said.
“I don’t like being found,” I replied.
I started walking
away,
but he held out a hand to stop me.
“I just want to talk,” he said.
“That depends on which one of you is doing the talking, is it the kind man I fell in love with, or the rich man that brushed me off.”
He leaned forward in his seat.
“I’ve had a lot of time to think about a lot of things while you were gone,” he started, “watching my family home get demolished opened my eyes. I
started
to wonder what was going to leave me
next,
and
sure enough,
Buck and Larry found better jobs elsewhere.”
I nodded and leaned over the counter.
“I got nothing left that I recognize, Jennie. And, I miss those simple days. Waking up with the sunset to feed the pigs, and milk the cows. Going for a long ride on my family farm in the afternoon, stopping off for a swim at the old pond, these were reasons for living.”
His tone was becoming a lot more somber as he continued.
“Money… changes people. I started seeing things that weren’t there and
pushing
away everyone I cared about.”
It was surprisingly dead in the diner
for
a Sunday morning.
“Then I found this.”
He slapped a newspaper down on the table in front of him. My photo was plastered all over it; it was something I tried my hardest to forget.
“You’re a riddle, Jennie. I can’t figure you out. I wanted to think that I
did
and that I might be able to get things back to the way they were. Why didn’t you tell me where you came from, I wouldn’t have treated you any differently.”
I sighed.
“Listen,
Mike, I wanted to tell you every day, but I also didn’t want that life. They were forcing me into a marriage, and I won’t marry someone I barely know.”
“Jennie, you’re a character. You have all this money and
opportunity,
and you decide that it would be better to walk away and live on a farm?”
I giggled at the thought.
“Jennie, I love you. You mean the world to me. I can’t think of what my life would be like without you and the baby in it. If you don’t want me in your life then that’s your choice, I’m not your family, I won’t force you to do something you don’t want to. But, if there’s a slight possibility that you’d be interested in spending your life with me, you’d make me the happiest man alive.”
I looked at him, tears starting to well up behind my eyes again; he still was the best man that I knew.
“When you marry for money, you marry for the wrong reasons. I don’t want a dime of your fortune, Mike. I never did. You just wouldn’t listen to me when I was talking.”
Mike lowered his head, a bit defeated. Then two large hands patted him on the
back;
Larry and Buck were regulars on Sunday morning, I just didn’t want to tell Mike.
“Guys,” he said, “I can’t believe you two are here right now.”
They all embraced each other in a hug.
“We both knew that you and Jennie were shacking up whenever you went into town. It’s not that hard to figure out, and neither of you did a good job of hiding it,” Buck said.
“We weren’t looking for a bunch of
money,
we just wanted to work with you again, Mike. I am not looking for a free meal, I’m
lookin’
for a good job,” Larry added.
I walked around the diner countertop and joined the group. Mike pulled me in for a warm embrace in the
odd
group and let out a laugh.
“So, does this mean we’re all getting’ back together?” he asked.
“Only under one condition,” I said.
I whispered in Mike’s ear, and I think he got it because he pulled out his phone and started making calls right away.
It was maybe a week later when we all met up again. T
his time,
Mike picked me up in the same old truck we had driven into town before. I sat in the same seat I always had, with the same tears covered in tape.
I could see the small house off
in
the horizon. The white dot in the middle of a vast landscape, with a barn sitting off to the side, invited me closer.
The house looked identical to the old ranch house we’d spent so much
time in
.
Except everything was newer. The walls were finally repainted, the leaks in the roof were covered, and I couldn’t have been happier.
I was finally home.
*****
THE END
Lorna didn’t exactly have a theme in mind when she was dressing up this morning, which is probably why she ended up more harlequin than she had hoped for. Her cotton purple blouse stretched across her ample chest while the black mini skirt clung to her rounded thighs. The red shoes she was wearing was not her first choice, but they were the only sneakers that she could find, and it had to do.
More than anything else, Lorna did not want to look out of place at a hockey game. She had noticed already how the other girls wore track suits or short-shorts with matching crop tops usually to these games. Lorna however was well aware of how her stomach bulged when she wore such an attire. Instead, she tried to create the perfect balance between looking sporty and yet herself. “I have failed at achieving the balance” she declared loudly to her friend Mimi as they walked towards the rink.
Mimi rolled her eyes and looked away, she clearly did not want to spend their only available Saturday afternoon attending a hockey game. “Why are we even going to this thing if you’re so conscious about how you look?” Mimi asked her, twirling one long black curl around her finger.
“Because I have started to enjoy Hockey as a sport Mimi. It’s my thing now” Lorna said, plastering a smile on her face, hoping that she was being able to convince Mimi adequately. Mimi rolled her eyes again and popped the bubble she had blown from chewing the gum in her mouth.
“Please Lorna. Who are you kidding? The only reason why we’re going is so that you can stare at Josh McKenna all day” Mimi said and kicked a pebble with her feet.
“That is not true Mimi. I do enjoy hockey, Josh McKenna is just an added bonus” Lorna said and winked at her best friend. “And I know you would never let me go embarrass myself alone” she added and threw her arms around Mimi and gave her a tight squeeze.
Mimi shrugged her off and blew out a bubble again, “Have you thought about maybe umm…talking to him?” she asked, and Lorna could see that the hug had worked and she was now visibly more relaxed.
“Don’t be a fool Mimi!” Lorna nearly yelled, “What would I even say? And I can bet you big money that he already knows that I drool over him. I’d be so embarrassed if I had to begin a conversation with him” she added and fiddled around with the leather strap of her sling bag. Mimi didn’t respond to that, Lorna couldn’t tell if she had lost interest or was thinking about a different plan.
“Besides” she continued, “what would we even talk about? How Shakespeare wrote his famous sonnets to a man and not a woman?”. That made Mimi giggle. “Does he even know what sonnets are?” Lorna added and she inwardly regretted saying it, she didn’t need any more convincing that Josh McKenna and Lorna Walters were two opposite sides of a coin, in a universe where these opposite sides would never meet.
*****
Lorna and Mimi had found seats in the centre of the bleachers. Mimi was happy about it because that meant she could read her literary journal without offending anybody while Lorna was glad because it gave her the perfect vantage point to be able to keep her eye on Josh constantly without him being able to notice her.
They had barely been sitting for a few minutes before Mimi took the literary journal out of her backpack and began reading. “Can’t you at least pretend to be interested?” Lorna asked, while at the same time keeping an eye out for Josh.
“I’m here aren’t I?” Mimi replied in a deadpan voice, her eyes were still on the book in hand. Lorna breathed out a heavy sigh of annoyance and gave one final sweep of the rink and the bleachers. With no sign of the teams yet, she pulled out the hotdog that she had stuffed in her backpack before they took their seats.
Lorna eyed her hotdog longingly while she looked at it from every angle. Yup, it seemed to have the right quantity of mustard and ketchup and the meat itself looked heavenly. She licked her lips and opened her mouth wide, directing the hotdog into her mouth.
That is when she saw him, and he was looking at her. Josh McKenna. His dirty blonde thick hair was combed back neatly, while his piercing green eyes were focused on Lorna’s open mouth. His chiseled jaw was angled in a mocking grin, while he stood leaning against a post at the bottom of the bleachers. He was in his jersey already, while his helmet hung loose from his hooked fingers.
Lorna froze. Her mouth remained open, while her hotdog was suspended midway between her hanging mouth. Their gazes were locked for a few seconds, while she could sense the trickle of mustard and ketchup running down her fingers. Josh was more than grinning, he had begun to laugh loudly and had leaned over to one of his teammates who was standing next to him. Josh whispered something in his ear and the other guy immediately turned to look at Lorna as well. Lorna still couldn’t seem to get her limbs to move or her mouth to close. Some drops of mustard had fallen on her skirt by now.
“Lorna what the Hell?!” she heard Mimi cry out beside her, and she felt the hotdog being snatched away from her. Lorna’s eyes were still on Josh and his teammate who were chuckling and were now talking amongst themselves and thumping each other’s backs.
“Earth to Lorna!” Mimi nearly screamed into her ear. Lorna finally looked away, but not at Mimi. She hung her head down and she could feel her ears turning red with embarrassment. “Let’s just get out of here” Lorna finally said, to Mimi’s relief.
*****
“Why wouldn’t you just stop staring?” Mimi asked. She was leaning against a pile of returned books, while Lorna was behind the library counter, scanning the barcodes on the books one by one.
“I froze” Lorna replied, without looking up at her friend. The previous afternoon, they had run out of the hockey rink and Lorna ran in the direction of her own home, yelling back at Mimi to leave her alone.
“Well why didn’t you want to talk after that?” Mimi persisted, she leaned over on the counter now, her face inches away from Lorna’s.
“Because Mimi, I was embarrassed and I wanted to be by myself” Lorna said and finally looked up toe face her friend. She could feel her cheeks burning and her ears turning red again. The last thing she wanted to do was discuss with Mimi how she had utterly and truly embarrassed herself in front of Josh McKenna.
She looked down again and continued scanning the returned books, readying them for shelving. She could sense that Mimi was now fiddling with her hair, the thing that she always did when she was bored.
“Alright. When will your shift be over then?” Mimi asked and Lorna replied without looking up - “Not for another few hours. You should go on home. I’ll take the bus later”.
Mimi didn’t respond for a few seconds. She could sense that her best friend was glaring at her angrily but all Lorna wanted was to be left alone.
“You’ve turned into one big Mope ever since you started obsessing over Josh McKenna. I wish you’d get over it already” Mimi finally said and turned around and walked away without waiting for a response. Lorna looked up finally to watch Mimi leave the library in a huff. She knew that her friend was right about what she had said, but it was difficult to just forget about her feelings and move on. What had started off as an innocent girly crush had now turned into a more serious obsession and the incident at the hockey rink seemed to have only made matters worse.
Lorna continued to stand behind the counter, flipping through the pages of books looking for their barcodes when she suddenly saw a shadow fall over the book that was in her hand. Alarmed, she looked up to find that a broad muscular chest stood in front of her. She craned her neck up further and her heart nearly stopped beating. Josh McKenna was standing behind her counter.
His dirty blonde hair was not combed back neatly today and it fell softly over his green eyes, which were lazily focused on her. A pair of electric blue earphones were plugged into a device which she couldn’t see, hidden away in the pockets of his faded blue jeans. He was wearing a chocolate brown cotton T-shirt that hung loosely from the muscles of his broad shoulders. She could see the straps of a black backpack on his shoulders, while his hands were dug deep into the pockets of his jeans.
The worst part was that he was grinning at her. Her knees seemed to buckle at the sight of his broad grin and the way they dimpled his cheeks. His lips were unbelievably cherry red and she couldn’t remember the last time she had been this close to him. She couldn’t find a single word to say to him.
“Umm I was wondering if you could help me?” he said. His voice sounded smooth and rough at the same time. Like the masculine voice of a country singer. She froze up again and all she could do was nod her head violently. He grinned at her again.
“Awesome. I’m looking for a book recommendation” he continued and took his hands out of his pocket and laid them on the counter. Lorna barely responded, other than mumbling something under her breath which he obviously could not have deciphered.
“I need a Literary Fiction to write a book report on and I have no idea where to start looking” he added and slowly leaned in towards her. Lorna didn’t move back which meant that she could now smell the faint scent of coffee on his breath.
“I’ll be glad to help” she finally said, almost too softly for him to be able to hear. His broad smile however reassured her that he must have heard her response. Even though Lorna had managed to respond to him, she didn’t know what her next move should be. She kept standing behind the counter, while he leaned against it, towards her. She still had the book in her hands, which she had been scanning and she continuously licked her lips nervously.
Josh finally pushed himself away from the counter and took in a deep breath.
“So are you free now or I can come back later if you’re busy?” he asked, not taking his eyes off of her. Lorna shook her head and plonked the books down on the counter.
“Oh no, I’m free” she said. A sudden burst of energy was coursing through her veins and she surprisingly skipped out from behind the counter and found herself a foot away from him, there were no barriers between them now.
She became instantly aware of how she looked. She quickly pulled down her denim skirt, which reached a few inches above her knees. She was glad she had remembered to wear her red lipstick today, which always made her lips look luscious and kissable. Her white cotton blouse had a loose comfortable fit and she straightened it before she began walking. Josh followed her slowly.
“So what kind of books do you like reading?” Lorna forced herself to make conversation. She didn’t dare to turn around and look at him.
“I’m not much of a reader” he replied and had taken a few long strides which had brought him next to her. Now they were walking together.
“Alright. Well, would you like to read one of the classics or something more contemporary?” she asked, looking straight ahead. She was certain that if she allowed herself to look at him, her voice would crack or her knees might buckle. Around her, she could see girls staring at them, well mostly at Josh. Which made her even more self conscious.
“I’m not sure what that means” he said after a few seconds. She forced herself to turn around and look at him and she could see that he was visibly puzzled, almost angry with himself.
Lorna stopped in her tracks when they reached the Fiction section.
Not only had Lorna stopped because she had reached the section of the library where she could find a possible recommendation for Josh, but also because she felt a hand on her shoulder. She didn’t have to look at her own hands to know that her palms were growing sweaty.
“So what do you think? Do you have a book in mind?” she heard him ask and she slowly turned around to look at him. His hand dropped off from her shoulder and they stood facing each other. Lorna tried to paste an expression on her face that would create an illusion of her thinking of a suggestion to make.
“I’m really struggling here. I need to be able to finish reading the book in time and write up a report in two weeks” he added. His brows were wrinkled now and he pursed his delicious lips together. Lorna tried to form the words.
“I’m not sure what would be most suitable for you” she began and she could see that his grin had turned into a grimace. He was losing hope and she hated seeing him disappointed.
“But I might have a book that you can’t go wrong with” she quickly added and she saw his eyes light up.