Room for More (2 page)

Zach never came back that night.

Instead, he showed up the next morning, still wearing the same clothes and smelling like he slept in the bottom of a beer bottle. I made him run in and shower in my bathroom while my mom was downstairs in the cafeteria getting herself some coffee.

I should have known right then that it was the beginning of a very dark, lonely road.

But I didn’t.

Call it denial. Call it stupidity. I put my blinders on and pushed through, determined to do everything in my power to keep my family together. I was hopeful that he would eventually fall as deeply in love with Lucy and Piper as I did and want to be with us forever. When the girls were only a couple months old, we looked at engagement rings. My stupid, naive self thought he had secretly bought one and was paying it off, when in reality he was planning his escape. I felt like such an idiot.

The baby monitor lit up on the kitchen counter, bringing my trip down memory lane to a screeching halt. I walked over and turned the volume up. The girls had woken up from their naps and were babbling and giggling to each other. The sound of their sweet voices usually made my heart swell with joy, but right now each little cackle coming from their bedroom was another blow to my already weak heart. What was I going to tell them when they were older?

Tears slid down my cheeks and the stream quickly turned into an ocean. Sinking to the floor in my kitchen as the world below me fell away, I sobbed and sobbed until I couldn’t cry anymore. I leaned against the cabinet for what felt like hours, wondering what my life was going to be like from this point on. I made a silent promise to myself and to my daughters. I would never go through this again. They deserved better; so did I.

I had my girls and they were all I needed. Failing them was not an option. Suddenly, I was on my own and had to figure out how to not only provide for, but grow and nurture two little girls. It was all up to me. So I did what any normal nineteen-year-old, suddenly single mom would do.

I swallowed my pride and called my mom.

“Zach? At the hospital? Are you serious?” Lauren shrieked so loud into the phone I had to pull it away from my ear for a second.

“Obviously.” I sighed. “I wouldn’t joke about something like
that
.”

“He totally fell off the grid. I haven’t heard a word about him since he left. And I certainly had no idea he was a paramedic!”

“Me either. Needless to say, I was stunned.”

“What did he say? What did
you
say?”

“Nothing. I ran. Shocker, huh?” I chuckled nervously. “I pretended to get sick and sprinted to the bathroom. This other nurse, Darla, had to take over the patient while I sat on the floor of the bathroom stall having a full-blown panic attack for fifteen minutes. When I came out, he was gone.”

“Did you tell Brody?”

“Not yet. This just happened yesterday. I haven’t even processed it yet. Nor do I have any idea
how
to tell him.”

“You told Alexa, right?”

“Nope. You’re the only one that knows so far. Lucky you, huh?” I waited for her to laugh. She didn’t, so I continued, “Anyway, I can’t tell anyone. My mom’s first instinct will be to pack us all up in the car and move across country, and I’m worried that Alexa will go to the hospital and kill him.”

“You know she’s going to lose her mind when she finds out, right?”

“Alexa? Yeah, I know.” I sighed. “Which is exactly why I can’t tell her right now.”

“Kacie!”

“I’ll tell her eventually, just not yet. You know how she gets, Lauren. She’s so protective of us and hot-headed when it comes to Zach. Promise you won’t tell her?”

Lauren sighed, “It’s not my news to tell, so of course I won’t. I just don’t like this.”

“There might not be anything to get worked up about anyway.”

“What do you mean?” she asked.

“Maybe that’ll be the only time I’ll have to see him. Who knows? With any luck, I can put my hours in and escape without ever having to see him again.”

I sat back on my bed and stared up at the ceiling, trying to force myself to believe the lie I’d just told Lauren. The odds of me not seeing him again over the next couple months were slim to none.

“Oh God, Kacie. I don’t even know what to say,” she said.

I had been friends with Lauren long enough to know exactly what she looked like at that moment, even from 4,700 miles away. Her blue eyes were as wide as saucers while her long, perfectly manicured hands were over her mouth. I could hear the wooden floors creaking beneath her feet as she paced her apartment.

“What’s going on?” Tommy called from the background.

“Zach is back!” she called to him.

“No shit!” he exclaimed. “Did Brody kick his ass?”

“He doesn’t know yet.”

“Oh shit. When he finds out, he’s going to kill him. Ask Kacie not to tell him until this season is over so he doesn’t go to jail, okay? I have a lot of money riding on him.”

“Shhh!” Lauren hissed at him. “What are you gonna do, Kacie?”

I took a deep breath and exhaled loudly. “I don’t know. What can I do? If I request a hospital transfer now, either I’ll end up in a field I don’t want to be in or they could make me wait ‘til next semester to switch and finish my hours, which would delay my graduation. I’m stuck.”

“Do you want me to come home?”

“Yes,” I said sarcastically. “Please hop on a plane and travel halfway around the world because I ran into my ex-boyfriend. I love you, but no.”

“You know if you said yes, seriously, I would be on a plane in an hour,” she said softly.

“I know you would and I really do love you for it.”

“So… how did he look?”

“Lauren!”

“What?” she squealed defensively. “I didn’t mean, like, were you checking him out. I just meant it’s been a long time. How did he look?”

“I don’t know. The same. Older. He had a baseball hat on, so I couldn’t see much.”

“Kacie…”

“What?”

“I know you. There was a ‘but’ coming.”

She does know me well.

“God, Lauren… those eyes. Those big brown puppy dog eyes that both the girls got from him…” I sighed. “They haven’t changed one bit.”

“Do you miss him?” she asked slowly. “Any sparks?”

“Hell no!” I screeched, lowering my voice when I remembered Brody was just a couple rooms away. “Brody on his worst day is a thousand times better than Zach on his best day. It’s not about missing him; I was just caught off guard, that’s all.”

The bedroom door flew open, startling me, as Lucy came flying in. “Mom, can you make us eggs?” she whined. “Brody said he’d do it but we had to pay him a hundred dollars. We don’t have any money.”

I shook my head and laughed. “Sure, honey. Just one sec. All right, Lauren, I gotta get going. I’ve got some hungry hungry hippos and a blackmailing boyfriend on my hands. Plus, I have to work again today.”

“You do? Oh God.”

“Think positive, Lauren. Think positive.”

I didn’t know if I was reassuring her or me or both of us.

“Are you going to tell the girls?” she whispered into the phone.

“You know she can’t hear you, right?” I laughed, winking at Lucy who was sitting at the end of my bed, staring at me. “And the answer to that is a big fat no. I’m hoping he just goes away. Think it’s a possibility?”

“Um, no.”

Lauren and I said our good-byes and I followed Lucy out into the kitchen. The closer we got, the stronger the bacon smell got and all was right in the world again.

Brody was standing at the stove with his back to me. He had on a blue T-shirt that was just tight enough to accentuate his toned back and shoulders. Those same blue pajama pants he wore the first time I’d stayed at his house hung loosely from his hips. The memories of our first morning together made my cheeks flush. I walked up behind him, slid my arms under his, and wrapped them around his waist. I laid my head against his back and closed my eyes as the familiar smell of him calmed my nerves.

“Good morning.” A light chuckle mixed with his surprised tone.

“Don’t move. This is nice.” His back vibrated against my cheek as he laughed harder, squeezing my hands in his.

“Do you have to go to the hospital today?” he asked.

The knot in my stomach returned. I was dreading heading into my bedroom and putting my scrubs on. I was dreading driving up to work and seeing an ambulance parked outside. I was dreading seeing Maureen again, who probably thought I was a total flake after yesterday.

“Unfortunately, yes.”

“Why? Quit. Stay home with us. You don’t have to work. Who needs a degree these days anyway?”

“Not a chance, but you’re sweet.” I squeezed him tight one last time and turned around to the fridge.

“Why not? Do you ever want to be a stay-at-home mom?”

“I don’t know. After
him
, I swore to myself that I would never depend on a man again. It was embarrassing to move back home and rely on my mom to feed and take care of us.”

“What about when we have kids?”

I spun to face him, nearly dropping the eggs that were in my hand. “What?”

“Down the road, when there are dozens of little Brodys running around the house, do you want to be home with us?”

“Dozens of little Brodys?” I chuckled.

“Why not?” He grinned.

“Uh, I can think of a few reasons. My poor uterus for one.” I poked him in the chest.

“Okay, fine. Not a dozen, but at least like… six.” He wiggled his eyebrows. “After that, we can just practice—a lot.”

“I’m definitely down for the practicing.” I batted my eyes at him. “And what do you mean at home with
us
? You’ll be traveling most of the time.”

“Yeah, but not forever. Eventually I’ll retire and do the full-time dad thing.”

Crossing my arms over my chest, I cocked my head to the side and looked at him skeptically. “Since when does staying home with kids all day interest you?”

He looked over at the girls, who were watching a movie in the living room, and shrugged. “Since them.”

I grinned at him as my stomach flipped. “You’re too good to be real.”

“Nope, I’m real and I’m all yours.” He reached over and grabbed my T-shirt, pulling me in close to him.

“Until next week,” I pouted dramatically. “Then you have to start practicing every day and we won’t see each other much. Add in games and you’ll forget who I am.”

I was not looking forward to his season starting. My subconscious knew it was coming, but I was purposely not thinking about it. I’d gotten so used to seeing him often over the last couple months, this would definitely be an adjustment.

“It’ll be tough, but we’ll still see each other,” he said, lifting my chin up to face him. “We’ll just have to make an effort to really, uh, make good use of the time we
do
have together.”

I set the eggs on the island and shoved my hands up the back of his T-shirt, pulling him hard against me. “I like the way that sounds, Murphy.”

“I love when you call me Murphy.” He groaned as he trailed kisses down the side of my neck, stopping at my collarbone.

“Really? I’ll have to remember that,” I cooed.

My glance panned over to the clock. “Holy crap! I gotta hurry.” I rushed over and tossed a pan on the stove.

“Go. I got this.” Brody came over and grabbed the handle of the pan.

I tried to snatch it back from him, but he held it high above his head so I couldn’t reach it.

“Stop.” He laughed. “I admit that I’m better with a hockey stick than I am with a spatula, but I can handle scrambled eggs. Go get ready. You can pay me back later.” He wiggled his eyebrows up and down again.

“Deal.” I smiled and started out of the kitchen, but he caught my wrist and pulled me toward him as he bent down to kiss my lips.

I quickly turned my head to the side and covered my mouth, mumbling through my hands, “I haven’t brushed yet.”

“I’ll take my chances,” he said, gently pulling my hands away from my mouth. “Pay the toll, stinky.”

“Lucy, are you dipping your popsicle in
syrup
?”

She grinned at me and nodded, clearly proud of herself.

“Great.” I laughed. “At this rate, you’ll be diabetic by noon. Your mom’s already going to kill me if she finds out I let you have popsicles with your eggs and pancakes.”