He continued to stare at her, his breathing harsh, his attention fixed on her face.
‘So you shouldn’t blame yourself. You were there with her at the end and that’s all that matters,’ Helen said.
He sighed. ‘Helen . . . why do you make everything I do, everything I’m most ashamed of, seem so damn reasonable?’
‘Ssh.’ She put her finger over his lips and then replaced it with her mouth, putting into the kiss everything she wanted to tell him. He responded with a deep groan, opening his mouth to her questing tongue and kissing her back with a strength and desperation that quickly turned the kiss molten.
She pressed against him, nuzzling at his chest, breathing him in, instinctively trying to make things right, even though she knew she couldn’t.
‘I should’ve stayed with her, Helen.’
She framed his face with her hands as he blinked back the glint of tears. ‘I should have stayed home too, but I didn’t. I can’t change that and neither can you. But maybe we can learn and move on.’ He tried to speak but she kissed his mouth. ‘Do you think your mom would want you to feel bad about this? You were there for her when she needed you most.’ Emotion flooded her. ‘Oh hell, I’ll go see my parents, Jay. I promise.’
He drew her into his arms and hugged her tight. He was right. She owed it to herself and to her family to go back and set things straight. Even if they chose not to accept her, at least she could say she’d tried.
Jay kissed her, his mouth eager and demanding and she replied in kind, desperate to get as close to him as she could. His fingers slid around her waist, unbuckling her belt and zipper, delving between her legs where she was already wet and swollen for him. He thrust two fingers inside her, his thumb grinding against her clit as he struggled to move within the restrictions of her jeans.
Helen managed to drag her mouth away from his. ‘We don’t need to rush back. Let’s get a hotel room and do this properly.’
Jay bit her ear lobe, making her writhe. His voice sounded hoarse. ‘That is one heck of a good idea, doc.’
Chapter Twenty
Jay kept his gaze on the undulating golden hills as Helen drove them to a hotel near the freeway. Since he’d nearly cried like a girl on the doc’s shoulder, he’d been unable to meet her eyes. What was it about her that made him tell her stuff he thought he’d buried and forgotten long ago? She made him angry enough to forget to hide all his worst shit but somehow he also knew she’d deal with it and move on.
‘This motel should be fine. It’s only been here a year.’
He glanced at the modest brown façade. ‘Yeah, looks great.’
‘I’ll go see if they have a room.’
Helen stopped the car and headed for the main office. Sun glinted off the tinted windscreen as the temperature continued to rise. Jay stayed in the car, the scent of leather and horse all around him. The back seat and trunk were packed with his stuff. He’d traveled with Mike on and off for years and it was amazing how much junk he’d collected along the way.
He turned to touch his second-favorite saddle. His fingers lingered on the smooth, worn leather. Would he ever use this gear again? If push came to shove, and he wasn’t able to ride at all, he supposed he could always give it to Grayson for his ranch. Damn, he wanted to be back in the saddle so bad.
Helen reappeared, a card key in her hand. ‘We’re in room twenty-six. We can park outside.’ She slid into the driver’s seat. Jay stared straight ahead, his hands gripped together on his lap. ‘In your professional opinion, do you think I’ll be able to ride again?’
‘I don’t see why not.’
He shot a quick glance at her. She looked pretty confident.
‘As I said before, I don’t think you’ll be able to compete at world-class level but there’s no reason why you shouldn’t be able to ride,’ Helen said.
He let out his breath. ‘I don’t think I could bear to do without that. Horses have been part of my life since the beginning.’
She patted his hand. ‘I know, Jay. And I’m not trying to give you false hope here. I’m telling you the truth. Most of my ex-rodeo athletes learn to ride again.’
‘Thanks for that, doc.’
She started the car. ‘You’re welcome.’
Less than a minute brought them to their designated parking space. Jay let Helen open the door while he brought in a few items from the back of the car. She turned as he came in. ‘What do you need that for?’
‘You’ll see. Go get naked for me.’ With a nod, he watched her go into the bathroom and shut the door. The hotel room was a blur of beige and cream and still smelt of new paint. After locking the outside door and making sure the blinds were down, Jay turned his attention to the saddle. Mike had kept it in great condition. He wiped it over with his handkerchief, smelling leather-care products and warm sunlight. Helen would love it.
With a grunt, he hefted it onto the bed and pushed it into place. Absently he stroked the bulge in his jeans as he waited for Helen to emerge from the bathroom. She didn’t take long. She moistened her lips as her attention flicked between him and the saddle on the bed.
He sauntered toward her, loving the way her nipples were already hard and begging for his mouth.
‘You like leather, right?’ Jay asked.
She nodded, her attention now fixed on his face.
‘So you’ll like being fucked on my saddle.’ He raised an eyebrow as her eyelashes flickered down to conceal her gaze. ‘No answer? It’s hard for you to admit what you want, isn’t it?’ He pinched her erect nipple between his finger and thumb. ‘But we both know you’ll be begging for it soon.’
He took her hand and drew her toward the bed, arranged her so that she sat sideways on the saddle, one knee hooked over the horn, the other over the cantle. Her upper body rested against the nest of pillows and the headboard.
He stepped back to study her and nearly came in his jeans at her wanton provocative expression and acceptance of his demands. Without thought, he bent and licked her pussy until her cream ran into his mouth and she was writhing on the saddle. He eased back.
‘I’ll go get washed up. Don’t move.’
When he returned, she lay where he’d left her, blonde hair falling over her face, lips already swollen from his kisses earlier in the afternoon. Her gaze was strong and steady, as if she’d never doubted he’d come back to her. Why was that, when she already knew that he was capable of running out on anyone who’d ever cared for him?
Jay worked at his belt buckle, aware that his shaft was so engorged that it was trying to escape his jeans. He almost moaned as he dug into his pocket for the leather ties he needed to secure Helen’s hands.
He crawled back onto the bed, feeling as ungainly as a seal out of water. The scent of Helen’s arousal swirled around him and he fought a groan.
‘Jay.’
He glanced down as he tied her wrists together and brought them over her head. ‘Yeah, honey?’
‘I want you to fuck me like this.’
He smiled at her. ‘About time you asked nicely.’
He kissed her mouth, his tongue slow and gentle. He knew she liked it fast and hot but seeing as how she trusted him enough to tie her up, she would soon figure out he was all about slow today. She tried to lift her hips against his but he moved away. Kneeling between her thighs, he pulled her nipple into his mouth and settled into a thorough suckling. Without touching her with any other part of his body, he changed to the other breast and took his time there too.
By the time he lifted his head, she was panting, her blue eyes hazed with lust.
‘What’s up, doc?’
She glared at him and then at his groin. ‘Obviously not you.’
He chuckled and moved away from her. ‘Oh, I’m up, don’t you worry about that.’ Gritting his teeth, he eased the zipper of his jeans down over his thoroughly overexcited shaft. He picked up his discarded belt and coiled it up into a tight circle. Knowing she was watching him made every movement an erotic torture. He showed her the belt, letting it uncoil in his hand.
‘Sometimes, when I’m alone and horny as hell, I like the feel of leather on my skin, too.’ He glanced down at his cock. ‘Sometimes I wrap this belt around my shaft as tight as I can and make myself come.’ His breath hissed out as the belt buckle grazed the sensitive crown of his cock. He coated his fingers into the dripping pre-come and crawled back onto the bed. Helen tensed as he slid his wet fingers inside her ass.
‘How about here? How about I give you my fingers here and my belt in your pussy? Do you think you could take it?’
She moaned and her sex gushed more cream. He fingered her clit, which was as hard as his cock. ‘Yeah, take my belt. I want to watch it slide up inside you.’
He folded his belt into four and pressed it against the opening of her pussy lips. Her cream eased his way. He managed to get most of the belt in. The gold buckle glinted against her pale skin.
‘You look beautiful,’ Jay said.
He couldn’t stop fingering her clit, letting his thumb dip inside her ass just below his belt buckle. He slid his four fingers inside her ass, stroked the bulky leather through the thin sensitive wall that separated him from the clench of her passage. As soon as he moved his fingers, she came, bucking her hips and riding his hand. Her cream pooled on the leather of his saddle as he leant in to kiss her. The smell of the leather became indistinguishable from that of her arousal.
Helen bit down on her lip as Jay used his tongue and teeth on her clit. She wanted to come again so badly. Every time she got close, he eased back and made her wait. She wanted to lift her hips and grind her swollen sex into his face, make him as desperate as she was.
‘Please, Jay.’ The words were out before she could stop them. ‘Make love to me.’
He rocked back onto his knees and looked up at her, his mouth and chin gleaming with her juices. She moaned as he removed his belt from her swollen sex.
‘Don’t you worry about that.’
He got off the bed and slowly unsnapped his shirt, giving her tantalizing glimpses of his chest and the fair hair that tapered down to his navel and below. Next, he bent to remove his boots and jeans. She swallowed hard as he revealed his perfect tight ass and then his thick erection.
‘Don’t wear a condom.’
He went still. ‘Why the hell not?’
‘Because I want to feel you. You and the leather.’
He straightened and studied her, his gaze moved over her flushed skin and came to rest on her face. ‘Aren’t you doctors always preaching safe sex?’
‘Jay, I’ve seen your medical records. I know you’re clean. I’m on the pill.’ She swallowed hard. ‘Please, just this once.’
His breath hissed out in a curse. Reaching over her head, he untied the leather cord that connected her to the bedpost but didn’t untie her wrists. Instead, he wrapped the excess leather around his hand until she was pulled toward him.
Just before she lost her balance he caught her around the waist and turned her until she straddled the saddle. Her bound hands came to rest on the saddle horn and she gripped it hard. He moved behind her, his cock a hot pulsing presence against her spine.
‘Let’s pretend we’re out for a ride. You’re naked, because that’s how I like you and I’m sitting right behind you ready to get naked too.’
She shuddered as his thighs rubbed the back of hers and he urged her to kneel up.
‘Let’s say we take a ride down Main Street first, with you all naked so that every man can see just how fuckable you are.’ He thumbed her nipple. ‘You do remember how to ride, right?’
‘Yes.’
In one swift motion, he pulled her down onto his shaft. After being stuffed full of his belt, she took him easily. She came fast, her hips pressing down onto his cock, eager to prolong the incredible sensation of being so full. He held still and deep until she finished pulsing and finally remembered to gulp down some air.
‘Nice, honey. Do it again.’ One of his hands came down to cover her mound and he rolled his hips in a fast circular motion. ‘Let’s pretend the horse is trotting, so post.’
She had no choice but to move with him; her body wouldn’t have allowed it any other way. She locked her hips to his and worked with him, whimpering as another huge climax crashed over her. Again he held still while she convulsed around him, his hands gentle as he stroked and encouraged her. His mouth moved in tantalizing circles against her throat and the nape of her neck.
As the scent of warm leather and sex rose around them, she forgot where she was and embraced the demands of the man who was controlling her every move. He stroked her clit, brought her tied hands down to feel it too, rubbed the end of the leather binding her wrists against her flesh until she came again.
She arched her back and pushed against him. ‘Jay, come with me, I want to feel you.’
‘Not yet, honey, I’m still enjoying the ride.’
She moaned as his cock seemed to grow even bigger inside her.
‘How about we lope?’ He changed the rhythm from the up and down motion of the post to a longer horizontal oval. She leant forward as he slammed into her. Each upstroke hit her G-spot and made her scream. His breathing shortened and his strokes became less smooth and shallower. Sweat made their bodies slide against each other with sensuous ease. Helen could only brace herself on her knees and hold onto the saddle horn as he pounded into her.
‘Helen, I . . .’
He sank his teeth into her shoulder as his hot come filled and overflowed her. He rocked back and forth as if he wanted to crawl inside her and never come out. His pulses seemed to go on forever and she gloried in every one.
Groaning, he rolled onto his back, bringing Helen down on top of him. He untied her hands and dropped his belt onto the floor. She remained pressed against him, her head tucked under his chin. He kissed her hair.
‘Let me move this saddle,’ Jay said.
With one mighty shove, he pushed it to the ground and drew them into the space he’d created. Helen wiggled against him, aware of the wetness between her thighs but strangely reluctant to move away from him. She liked the feel of his come on her skin and his body entwined with hers. Her eyes began to close. She’d sort it out in a minute.