Authors: Renee Travis
"I'll tell you if you answer my question first," I said, slowly. There was something weird about Julian and I needed to know what it was.
"Granted," he whispered, brushing his lips quickly against mine again, I inhaled, totally smitten.
"What's wrong with you? No one should be able to hear every beat, missed or not, of my heart," I said. Was it my imagination again or had he seemed to pull back a little bit when I asked?
"I am...different," Julian began; I could tell he was really considering what to tell me. "There are things I can't tell you right now, but know that I would never harm you and that I will protect you and care for you, always." The words were awfully formal and he seemed to have difficulty telling me.
"Will you ever be able to tell me?" I asked.
"Yes, just not yet. There are things I do that are not normal, like hearing your heart beat; can you just...accept them for right now?" He leaned in a little closer, staring into my eyes.
"Of course," I sighed, "now my turn...when I was 10 I was diagnosed with arrhythmia of the tachycardia type. It's a heart disease where excitement of any kind makes my heart race or skip and sputter. It makes my breathing difficult and sometimes I pass out." I watched as his face froze, like he was trying to contain his emotion before responding.
"Will it kill you?" He asked, quietly in a dangerous tone.
"It can if I don’t take my medicine and don’t follow my doctor's orders." I told him.
"So the dancing..." he trailed off.
"Yes, or anything that could naturally cause my heart to race." I smiled, sadly.
"What about this?" Julian captured my lips again, fiercely, like he had something to prove, my lips were so hot against his the clash between us made me shiver and respond to him more than I should have.
Breaking the kiss Julian placed his hands on my shoulders, "I can hear your heart race," he whispered, "is a kiss on the list of things you can't have?"
"It's on my mother's list," I licked my lips and watched as his eyes widened in response, "but I think if we are very careful it's OK."
"Then we shall be very, very careful. I wish you had told me before about your heart. I would never do anything that might hurt you, my Rose blossom." Julian stood up, holding me at the same time and gently placing me on the ground in front of him.
"I should get you home, you've given me and Mel a fright tonight and I think you should go to bed," Julian drew his finger down the side of my cheek, "you're still a little pale and I'd feel better if tomorrow when I come to call you looked rosy again."
"You're...you're coming over tomorrow?" I squeaked, tomorrow was Saturday and I was almost never allowed out of the house.
"Yes, I think you can expect to see...a lot of me from now on," Julian grinned.
"My parents will freak, they'll never allow me out," I told him.
"Then I'll just have to come inside." Julian looked over to where Mel and Killian were, they had stopped making out and Mel was watching me with a peculiar expression on her face. "Quickly, go say goodnight. I feel she's worried about you, especially with me."
I nodded and backed away from him, and turning as quickly as I safely could, walked over to Mel. She met me halfway, leaving Killian to stand and stare after her.
"Hey, thanks for reacting so fast Mel." I hugged her.
"I hate it when you do that, you should have told him; you know your own limits." Mel scolded me; hands on her hips as I ended the hug.
"Sometimes I just want to be like you."
"Well you can't and if I didn't hate your mother I'd totally tell on you. Just be careful with Julian, he seems so...intense. OK?" Mel glanced over my shoulder at Julian and then back down to my beaming face.
"I will be. I think, I think this is good!" I was feeling incredibly happy, then I turned to walk back to Julian, looking forward to the drive back to my house.
Chapter 3
I woke up Saturday morning and stretched in my bed feeling the languidness of my heartbeat as I rested. I blinked my eyes as I watched dust particles dance in the sunlight streaming into my bedroom through the tiny gaps in my pink frilly curtains. I reached up and smoothed my black curls away from my face, groaning a little as I sat up and swung my feet out of bed, I had gone to bed with my hair down which meant it was a giant mess of tangles and frizz.
Standing, I made my way to my mirror and grabbed a hair tie, forcing the curly mess into a fairly tame ponytail. I was in white pajama bottoms with big orange pumpkins plastered all over them and a fairly loose matching orange tank top, the set was adorable and had been a present from Mel for my last birthday. They also made me look slimmer and cuter, which were an added bonus. Well an added bonus had anyone besides my parents and Mel actually seen me in them.
Glancing at the clock near my bed I rolled my eyes and sighed, noon already. I always slept late on the weekends, it was as if my body took the extra sleep and put it toward healing the damage I had inflicted upon my heart during the week. And after the dance the night before my body had really needed the rest.
I made my way to my door, stomach growling loudly, hopefully I could persuade dad to make me his famous wheat pancakes before I tried to talk to them about Julian coming over. I had reached the top of the stairs as the first thought of Julian swept into my mind. I was dating Julian Daramonth, well kind of. But he liked me...He had kissed me, more than once, the night before.
As I descended I could hear low murmured words from the kitchen and the thought of breakfast, Julian and talking to my parents made my heart jump a bit, just a brief stutter really, nothing to be worried about, but almost in time with the hiccup of the beat, all noise in the kitchen stopped. Before I could reach the first floor, Julian was standing there, looking at me with a mixture of worry and amusement on his face. His bright blue eyes seemed clearer than ever and I could not tear my own gaze from him.
"Good morning, or should I say 'good afternoon' " he said, voice low and somewhat amused.
I froze, completely horrified. Julian was already in my house! And I looked the worst I ever looked, frizzed out in pumpkin pajamas, my breath probably more than foul and my parents were in the kitchen! I could feel my eyes widen and my heartbeat speed up. Julian looked alarmed and reached out a hand to touch my shoulder.
"Calm down Rose, breathe, I'm sorry I startled you. I had a hard time waiting for you to wake up," I could smell his breath, his scent the same from the night before like sugared roses surrounding me until I could barely think straight.
"Julian, why don’t you give her a few minutes to go change and brush her hair," my father's voice entered the cocoon we had found ourselves in. My eyes broke from Julian's mesmerizing ones and flew to my father's face. He looked a little strained but smiled at me. I turned and dashed up the stairs, just before my door slammed I heard my father yell, "DON’T RUN!"
Gasping, I fell onto my bed, my hand touching my throat, I could feel the beat of my heart under my fingers. As my body came back to normal, I tried to go through my wardrobe mentally and decide what to wear. I really needed to beg my mother to let me go shopping with Mel, my wardrobe was very limited; jeans, a few long skirts, tank tops and T-shirts.
Finally, I stood up, slowly, my chest aching a little from the mad dash up the stairs; there was an angry flush to my cheeks as I looked across the room into my mirror. The same angry flush that Mel told me appeared two to four times every day. I was almost always angry at not being able to do something like a normal girl.
I walked over to my closet and opened it up; it was Saturday and on the weekends I liked to dress for comfort so I pondered how to do so while also giving off some semblance of cute at the same time. I finally chose an A line dark denim skirt that went to the floor, almost covering my pale wide feet. I hated my feet, much too large to belong to a girl my height. Then I pulled on a black cotton tank top that allowed a little of the red lace of my bra to show in the front. Not tacky but in style and something my mother actually found acceptable. This came as quite a shock, especially since she was the one who originally suggested it.
I opened my door quietly and listened for sounds: I could hear the murmur of conversation going on in the living room and figured I was safe. To get to the upstairs bathroom I had to walk close enough to the railings that I could be seen from downstairs at the right angle. I didn’t want Julian to see me again before I was ready. Tiptoeing, I moved along the wall to the bathroom, opened the door without a creak, and slipped inside. I left the door ajar so I could hear if the voices turned into an argument, still afraid any moment my parents would flip and send Julian packing.
I had just finished dowsing my hair with water until it was shiny when there was a light knock on the bathroom door; I turned in time to watch it open all the way.
Mom stood, stiff, with a frown on her face in the door way. She was watching me very carefully and I couldn’t tell what bothered me most; the disappointment, worry or the fear on her features.
"Rhodanthe," she started, "your father and I have decided that since you are 17 and a senior this year that maybe it's time to lighten up the rules a little bit."
My mouth fell open as I slathered anti-frizz gel in my hands and began working it through my long ebony locks.
"So we've decided that as long as you follow basic curfew and house rules we will consent to letting you go out with Julian," she finished.
I nodded slowly, reaching down for my brush, "So he can be my boyfriend? And you won't...freak out on me or anything?" I asked dragging the brush through my curls until they were untangled and bouncy.
"Well, your father knows one of Julian's moms," my mother's mouth sneered a bit and I pondered at her statement; Julian had moms? As in plural? Interesting.
"How?" I asked.
"Well she works at Central Middle School with your father; she apparently teaches history next to his English class," she explained, "I've met her a few times, she seems decent enough and he is a very polite boy."
"So this is for real?" I asked, finishing my hair by putting it in a high pony tail.
"Yes, but you know the rules, nothing that can make you excited or stressed." Mom gave me that all-knowing look. That look that said as clear as day, I know what girls your age do with boys. But it truly was a ridiculous statement. Even Mel hadn't gone all the way with Killian.
"Yes I understand, thank you so much, I appreciate it," I told her.
My mom left, I heard the door to her bedroom slam shut and sighed, she really wasn’t happy that I was growing up, less control meant more fear. Sometimes I felt sorry for her. But I had truly done all I could to make life easy for us. This was the first time I'd really wanted something since I had been 10.
I left the bathroom and went downstairs. Peeking into the kitchen I saw my dad setting out two plates of wheat pancakes, syrup, butter and two glasses of orange juice. I grinned and walked over to him giving him a big hug.
"Did you read my mind or something?" I asked.
He kissed the top of my head and backed away, "nah, just know what my Rose likes to eat on Saturday morning. Thought Julian would enjoy them as well."
I sat down in a bar stool next to the counter and looked around, "where is Julian?" I asked.