Chapter Nine
Toward the end of the week, Rose gathered a bag of sugar candy and some more books together and summoned Lily’s carriage to take her to the Price cottage for her visit with Kat. She was secretly glad that Ally and Sophie were busy with Aunt Iris and Lily’s modiste, Madame LeRou, choosing gowns for the wedding. Rose wanted to go alone. She had a servant hitch Begonia to the back of the carriage. Perhaps she would take Kat riding, if the little girl felt up to it. She didn’t fear running into Cameron. He would no doubt be off somewhere else.
Tricia met her outside when the carriage arrived. “My lady,” she said, running to greet her, “Kat is so excited to see you! But I fear I have some unfortunate news.”
“Is anything wrong?”
“No, no, of course not. The unfortunate news is that…well, Cam left this morning. He’ll be gone on errands all day.”
“Because I was coming, no doubt.”
“Yes, I’m afraid so. He’s stubborn as a mule, that one.”
Rose forced a smile, hoping it looked sincere. “My dear, I told you the truth the other day. He doesn’t want to see me. But that won’t keep me from visiting you and Kat.”
“Yes, my lady.”
“Tell me, are you enjoying your new books?”
“Oh yes. I’ve already devoured two of them.”
Rose laughed. “You read like Lily. She can lose herself for hours in a book. Come on.” She linked her arm with the younger girl’s. “Let’s go see that adorable little sister of yours.”
Kat’s eyes danced when Rose entered the cottage. “Lady Rose!” she shouted, running into her arms.
“Dear little Kat,” Rose said, “it’s so good to see you running about.”
“I almost died!”
“Oh my.”
“Kat, don’t frighten Lady Rose,” her mother admonished, coming in from the kitchen. “Good afternoon, Lady Rose.”
“Good afternoon, Mrs. Price. I’m so very glad that everything is well with Kat.”
“As we all are, my lady.”
“Tell me, were the doctors ever able to ascertain the cause of her condition?”
“I’m afraid not. But once the fever broke, she had no more symptoms, so after a few days they let us come home.”
“Do they consider her cured?”
“Yes, at this point they do. But I’ll be walking on pins and needles until I’m comfortable that she won’t become ill again.”
“I understand. But look at her. It’s marvelous to see her back to her old self.”
“Yes, it is.”
“Is there anything I can do for you, Mrs. Price? You are tenants on my sister’s land, and I know the family would like to help in any way they can.”
“No, Cameron would never forgive me if I took any charity, my lady.”
“Goodness, I’m not offering charity. Neighbors help each other, Mrs. Price.”
“We’ve no need of your help at this time.” Mrs. Price’s tone was curt.
“All right. But I hope you won’t hesitate to come to us if that changes.”
“Of course.”
“Now”—she turned to Kat—“my precious, what would you like to do today?”
“I have it all planned,” Kat said. “First, I want to listen to you play the pianoforte. Then, we’ll read a story. Then, I want to go out and play.”
“Kat, Lady Rose is a lady of the peerage. She doesn’t play,” Mrs. Price said.
“Of course I do! I’d love to play with you, Kat. We’ll do whatever you like. She is strong enough to play, is she not, Mrs. Price?”
“I’d rather she not run around, my lady.”
“Mum!” Kat whined.
“Don’t you worry, Kat. I have another idea,” Rose said. “I brought Lily’s mare with me, and I can take you riding. Would you like that?”
“Oh, could I, Mum?”
“I suppose so. She would ride with you, my lady?”
“Yes.”
“Can Tricia come too?” Kat asked.
“Of course. I was planning to invite her.”
“Just don’t go too far,” Mrs. Price warned.
“We’ll let Tricia lead the way,” Rose said.
“Perfect,” Kat said.
“Good. Now, what would you like to hear me play first?” Rose sat down at the pianoforte.
“Anything at all,” Kat said. “You play wonderfully.”
“All right. What is this, I wonder?” Rose fingered some parchment sitting on the bench. She put it in order and began to play. It was a ballad. “Did Mr. Price write this?” she asked.
“Yes, my lady,” Tricia said. “Those are some of the notes for the commission he was working on when Kat was in the hospital.”
“Really? These are only drafts?” Her fingers danced over the keys. “It’s lovely isn’t it?”
“Yes,” Tricia said. “He said it was his best work.”
“Right. You told me that, didn’t you?” Rose continued playing.
The music was tender and loving and brought a tear to her eye. The notes evoked images of Cam’s tender lovemaking, of him bringing water for her bath, taking care of her virginal body. Abruptly she stopped playing.
“Is anything wrong?” Tricia asked.
“No. Let’s just have something a little more lively, shall we?”
Rose played some rowdy folk songs, and they all sang together. Even Mrs. Price joined in. After about an hour, Mrs. Price made some tea and they all partook.
“Now, little Kat. What story would you like to hear?” Rose asked.
“Cam gave me a new book when I got home from the hospital. Could you read that one?”
“Of course. Bring it to me.”
Rose read while Kat sat on her lap. The story was not long, and when Rose had spoken the last word, she held Kat on her lap for a few more moments, stroking the little girl’s dark hair. “Are you ready to go riding, my dear?” she asked.
“Yes, let’s.”
“All right. Let’s go get Begonia ready. Tricia, are you coming?”
“Yes, I’ll saddle Mary.”
Rose laughed. “You named your mare Mary?”
“It seemed…appropriate,” Tricia said, giggling.
“It’s adorable, actually. Is she the one you were riding the day that Kat got sick?”
“Yes.”
“Oh, she is a beauty.”
When the horses were ready, and Rose had Kat snuggled against her on her sidesaddle, they took a long ride around the Lybrook land with Tricia leading the way. The trees were lush and green, their newly sprouted leaves swaying gently in the afternoon breeze. Wildflowers were beginning to bloom, and the pinks and yellows decorated the lush vegetation. Squirrels and rabbits abounded. Kat laughed and pointed every time she saw another one running away from them.
“Lady Rose, they’re afraid of us. Why? We wouldn’t hurt them.”
“Yes, but they don’t know that, dear.”
“But I love all animals. I would never hurt one. How can I let them know that?”
“They won’t understand, I’m afraid. They’re from a different world. They’ll never understand that you mean them no harm.”
“That’s so sad,” Kat said. “I want only to be with them.”
“I know exactly what you mean, Kat,” Rose said softly. “Believe me, I know.”
* * * *
Cameron returned from his errands to find the Lybrook carriage still parked in front of his cottage. “Damn,” he said out loud.
He stabled Apollo. “Damn again.” Mary was gone. He stole quietly into the house.
“Where did they go, Mum?” he asked.
“They’re out riding.” Mrs. Price set down the quilt block she was stitching. “When are you going to tell me what is going on?”
“What do you mean?”
“I mean with you and Lady Rose. The last I heard, you loved her and you were going to marry her, and now you can’t seem to stand the sight of her.”
“She…she doesn’t want me, Mum,” Cameron lied. “Can you blame her?”
“You said she loved you.”
“Evidently I was mistaken.”
“You mean she didn’t say that she loved you?”
“I guess I read too much into her language.” He’d burn in hell for this.
“What exactly did she tell you, Cameron?”
“What does it matter? You were right. She and I have no future together.”
“My poor boy.” His mother patted the sofa. “Did she break your heart?”
No, I broke hers.
“No, I’m fine. If you’ll excuse me, I’m…going out. I don’t want to be here when they return.”
Cameron walked out back to the hired man’s cabin. He would hide out there until Rose was safely off the premises. What a mistake. He hadn’t been there since that fateful day when he had made love to Rose and then sent her away. The blankets were still rumpled. His mother hadn’t cleaned the cabin because she hadn’t been here. No one had.
Cameron sat down on the bed, grabbed the pillow, and hugged it to his body. It still smelled like Rose, that intoxicating blend of strawberries, cream, and woman. He could almost imagine holding her in his arms. He tossed the blankets off the bed and lay down upon it, remembering the warmth of her lovely body snuggled against him in sleep. The musky remnants of their lovemaking drifted to his nose. The aroma had been trapped under the blankets for nearly two weeks.
Why? Why had it come to this? He should have left her alone in the first place.
But would he change any of it? Would it have been better never to have loved her at all? To pine for her from afar, never having known the sweetness of her body joined to his?
No, it never should have happened. He had taken her virginity and given her nothing in return. He had ruined a lovely maiden and tossed her aside, hurting her beyond measure. He was a scoundrel of the highest order.
He would never marry. No one would ever replace Rose in his heart.
He sat cross-legged on the bed and buried his head in his hands.
* * * *
The girls returned from their ride, and Rose sent Kat and Tricia inside while she tended to the horses. She put Begonia in an empty stall next to Mary and headed toward the cottage. The hired man’s cabin stood in the distance. Without thinking, she turned and headed toward it. The door was slightly ajar, and she quietly opened it. Cam sat on the bed, his head in his hands. He hadn’t heard her come in.
“You didn’t have to lie to me, you know.”
Cameron looked up, his eyes sunken and wet. “What?” he asked hoarsely.
“You didn’t have to tell me you loved me,” she said. “I would have gone to bed with you anyway.” The truth of her words stung. She strode forward slowly and regarded his beautiful face, eyes moist and nose running. “What is the matter? Did you hear something from the doctor?” She sat down next to him and tentatively touched his arm.
Nothing.
“Cameron, why don’t you answer me?”
“Leave me,” he said.
“No, if it’s about Kat, I want to know.”
“Kat’s fine.”
“Thank goodness.” Unable to stop herself, she stroked the black silk of his hair. “What is it then?”
“I’m fine.”
“Cameron, you’re not fine. Anyone with a brain can see that.”
“I…I…” He turned and gazed into her eyes. “You would offer me comfort after the way I’ve treated you?”
“You seem to think me some sort of shrew. I don’t know what I did to deserve that. But I would offer anyone comfort who needed me.”
He remained silent. After a few minutes, she rose, went to the basin, and returned with a wet cloth. “This water’s a bit old,” she said, “but I think it will do the trick.” She gently wiped the tears and grime from his face, and then she took his hands in hers and wiped them as well. “What on earth have you been doing today, rolling in the dirt?”
Again he didn’t answer. She got up, rinsed the cloth, came back, and ran it over his face again, pushing his hair behind his ears and wiping his neck. Then she touched the moist cloth to the part of his chest bared by his shirt, slowly caressing him, wiping away the dust and sweat. “There, that’s better.” She set the cloth on the night table. “Oops, I missed a spot.” She grabbed the cloth again and wiped a smudge from his chin. He touched his hand to hers, moving with her as she continued to wipe around his jawline.
“I’m sorry, Rose,” he said.
“Sorry for what?”
“Sorry for treating you…badly.”
“I meant what I said. You didn’t have to lie to me.”
“What I did to you was unforgivable. I took your virtue, and I offered you nothing.”
“Don’t be silly. You didn’t take anything. I gave it to you, and I wouldn’t change a minute of it, Cameron.” Again the words stung her, despite their truth.
“Cam. Call me Cam.”
“I don’t think that’s appropriate, given the—”
“Please.” He took the cloth from her, tossed it on the floor, and gently fanned his fingers over her cheek.
He was going to kiss her. She saw it, felt it, wanted it. “Don’t do this,” she said, her eyes misting. “Please don’t.”
“Just one.” He lowered his lips to hers.
As their mouths glided together, a sob caught in Rose’s throat. She tried to pull away, but he put his arms around her, crushing her to him, as he coaxed her lips apart with his silken tongue. She closed her eyes and let her heart take over her mind, joining in the kiss and searching him, tasting him, relishing the spicy sweetness of his mouth. She ran her tongue over his teeth, his lips, caught his lower lip in her teeth and bit it gently. He moaned, shuddering against her body, nibbling on her neck her throat, her ears.