She plunged her tongue into Evan’s mouth and slid it over his smooth teeth, his soft gums, the warmth of his inside cheeks. He responded, soft moans escaping from the back of his throat. She had never kissed him like this before. He clearly liked it.
Rose sucked lightly on his lower lip and then took it between her teeth and nipped it gently. She traced his full lips slowly, seductively, and covered his chin with tiny moist kisses.
“Rose,” Evan rasped. “What has gotten into you?”
“Kiss my ear, Evan,” she said.
He moved his lips to the outer rim of her ear and traced it lightly with his tongue, nibbled on the top, the lobe.
“Put your tongue in my ear.”
He obliged, thrusting into her ear canal with more force than she wanted.
“No, not like that,” she said. “Lightly, softly.”
He licked the inside of her ear, moving his tongue into each little crevice. Rose squirmed. It was pleasant, but not quite right. Evan moved to her neck, nibbling and kissing her, trailing down to the hollow of her throat.
Rose wanted more. She grabbed his hand and ran to the side of the kennels, bracing her back against the hard outside wall. Inside the dogs barked and whined, but she ignored the noise. She was determined to find what she had lost. Surely she could have those feelings with another man. It didn’t have to be Cameron. Anyone could fill the emptiness.
“Touch me.” She led Evan’s hand to her breast.
“Rose…”
“Don’t you want to touch me?”
“Of course, but…I didn’t think you wanted…”
“Then touch me, damn it!” She took his hand and forced it under the neckline of her gown, beneath her corset and chemise, onto her bare breast.
Evan gasped. He fumbled, but her corset was too tight. He couldn’t move his hand.
“Here, undo me,” she said, turning.
He began unfastening the back of her gown. “Are you sure you want to do this?”
“Yes, yes. I want you to touch me.”
She drew a deep breath as he loosened her corset strings and eased her gown over her shoulders. She turned to face him. The moonlight cast a silver glow upon his handsome face, and his eyes were ablaze with fire. He was no pagan god, but a fallen angel, come to take her. Slowly she pulled her corset down, baring her breasts to his gaze.
“Kiss my nipples, Evan.”
“My God, Rose.” Evan gulped. “You’re lovely. Your skin is like white marble in the moonlight, your nipples… I haven’t the strength to deny you.” Slowly he lowered his mouth, stroking her nipple with his soft tongue.
She moaned. “Yes, yes, that’s it.”
His mouth felt…good. Not the soul-inspiring sensation she felt when Cameron touched her, but still, it felt
good
.
He gently circled her rosy areola and then sucked the taut nipple into his mouth. He moved to the other one, tugging on it softly as he caressed the first breast with his fingers and pinched the nipple lightly.
Rose entwined her fingers in his blond hair. “Evan.”
He didn’t respond.
“Evan.” A little louder.
He released her nipple with a pop and looked up. “Yes?”
“I want you to…”
“What?” he rasped.
“I want you to”—her hair tumbled out of its chignon, falling around her naked breasts in honey curls—“make me”—her voice husky, her skin warm and radiant—“
come
.”
Evan stepped back, his eye wide. “Pardon?”
“Pardon?” Rose shook her head. “You heard me.”
“How do you even know…?”
“I have a married sister. Goodness. I know just about…
everything
.”
“But you’re a lady.”
“A lady who wants to—”
“No, no.” Evan clutched his forehead. “Don’t say it again, Rose. Good God.”
“Evan, surely you know how to—”
“Yes, of course. But not with you. Not until… Just not with you. It isn’t right.”
Rose raised her eyebrows. “But you’ve been with other women?”
“Yes.”
“Then why not with me?”
“You’re…
different
.”
“How so? I have two eyes, two ears, a mouth.” She smiled and jiggled her breasts just a little. “Two breasts, and this lovely secret place where I get really—”
He quieted her with a kiss. “Rose, you mustn’t talk like that.”
She lowered her hand to the bulge in his trousers. “You want me.”
“My God!” He brushed her hand away. “What in the world?”
She reached forward again, but he stopped her.
“What’s the problem? I’m just like every other woman you’ve been with.”
“No, you’re special.”
How ridiculous. How was she to be sure she could feel magic with him if he wouldn’t allow her to experiment? “How so?”
“You’re a lady of the peerage. I can’t…take advantage of you that way.”
“But you can take advantage of some other woman?” Ire rose within her. First Cameron had been obsessed with her
station
, and now Evan. “That’s a bit hypocritical, don’t you think?”
“No, there are women, and there are…
ladies
.”
Rose scoffed. “Nonsense. Women are women, no matter to whom they’re born. None of us had a say in it, you know. I didn’t ask to be born to the Earl and Countess of Ashford. If I had been born a commoner, you would give me what I want, wouldn’t you?”
“Rose…”
She quickly pulled her corset up and turned around. “Do me up, please.”
“I didn’t mean to upset you.”
“If I had been born a commoner—” She stopped. If she had been born a commoner, she would be Cameron’s woman. Cameron’s wife. The wife of the man she loved.
Or maybe not. Cameron had rejected her, after all.
“You weren’t born a commoner, and neither was I.” Evan fastened the last button and turned her to face him. “You’re lovely, and I would be lying if I said I didn’t want you, but it isn’t right for us to do this.”
“Of course it’s not,” she said. “You’ve just made me realize what I’ve known all along. A person can’t change who or what he is. Not for all the gold in the world.” She sighed. “I want to go to bed.”
“You don’t mean you want me to—”
“Heavens, no. I wouldn’t dream of asking you to come to my chamber. Your high morals certainly wouldn’t allow that.” She smoothed her dress. “But tell me, Evan. If I looked the same, had the same mind, the same brain, the same body, but instead of a lady of the peerage I was a servant or a peasant girl, and I wanted you to bed me, would you?”
“Rose, I’m…not going to answer that.”
Rose snorted. “You just did. Good night, Evan.” She turned and walked away from the kennels, back toward the main house.
* * * *
“Thank you, my lord,” Iris said quietly, her heart raging beneath her breasts.
David laughed softly. “Iris, call me David. Please.”
“That’s hardly proper. We haven’t seen each other in twenty—”
David brushed a stray curl behind her ear.
“—years.”
“I’m sixty years old, Iris, and a widower. I hardly care about the proprieties at this stage in my life.”
“I was truly sorry to hear about the countess,” Iris said. “I know you…cared for her.”
“Yes, I did. Ours was a good marriage. We were content.”
“I know.”
“And you, my Iris?”
My Iris.
Her belly fluttered.
“You were never content, were you?”
She looked at the ground. “I’m afraid I wasn’t.”
“You never told me much about Longarry,” David said, touching Iris’s arm lightly. “Only that he wasn’t always kind. But I did some asking around…after. I found out some things that…disturbed me.”
“Rumor and innuendo travel more quickly than the rail, my lord.”
“David. Please.”
She closed her eyes and let out a breath. “David.”
“Why didn’t you tell me he was mistreating you?”
Iris looked at her feet. “What would have been the point?”
“I could have helped you.”
“How? And how did you find anything out? I never told anyone. Not even Flora.”
“Flora had no reason to pry. I did.”
“Whatever reason did you have?”
“I was in love with you, Iris.”
Warmth rose to her cheeks. “Well, even if you were, you weren’t going to leave the countess, and Longarry would have never let me go.”
“No,” he said. “You’re right. I wouldn’t have left Maureen. But I could have…
helped
you.”
“No, you couldn’t have. I’m telling you, he wouldn’t have let me go.”
“I could have made it worth his while financially.”
“David, just how much do you know?”
“Enough. And I’m sorry, Iris.”
“For what?”
“For not helping you.”
“You couldn’t have.”
“I hired a private detective to track you down and find out your situation. Maureen found out about it.”
“So you…?”
“So I…did nothing. I’ve always regretted it, but I felt I owed some loyalty to Maureen. I’m so sorry.”
Iris’s nerves danced under her skin. “What exactly did you find out, David?”
“That Longarry was in near financial ruin, and that he was known to be a tyrant and he did not treat you and the children kindly.”
“And?”
“That’s it, my Iris.”
“Oh.”
Thank goodness
.
“What more is there?”
“David, I don’t want to talk about this right now.”
David raked his fingers through his long silvery-blond hair. “It was bad, wasn’t it?”
Iris fidgeted with the sash on her dinner gown. “We survived.”
David tilted her chin upward, forcing her to meet his gaze. “Tell me.”
“Maybe later. I don’t want to talk about Longarry. In fact, I spend most of my life trying to forget that he ever existed.”
“Iris—”
“And it wasn’t all bad. He gave me my girls. They’re both so beautiful, much more so than I ever was.”
“I might debate that.” David smiled. “They are lovely, but no lovelier than you.”
“You are kind.”
“I am only truthful, my dear.” David touched his hand to her cheek and slowly brought his face to hers.
Iris’s heart jumped. He was going to kiss her. Lord, it had been so long. When his lips brushed against hers, she felt a surge in her womb that she’d thought long dead. Slowly he caressed her with his mouth, and she opened her lips, welcoming the soft velvet of his tongue. He kissed her cheeks, her neck, her ears
He whispered, “You’re the only woman I ever loved. Do you know that?”
Iris couldn’t breathe. Her pulse raced madly, and her skin was fiery hot. “I can’t think, David. I can’t—”
“I’d like to take you to your chamber,” he said, caressing her arms and rubbing the nape of her neck.
“I don’t think that would be wise.” Iris melted farther into his embrace.
“I don’t think I care,” he said.
“Neither do I,” Iris breathed.
Chapter Seven
Cameron sat under the giant oak tree behind the hired man’s cabin, strumming his guitar and picking out a tune. A spring breeze blew, catching his long hair and whipping it side to side, despite the protection of the tree. The grass swayed, and the flowers danced. His mother’s roses were budding. Pink roses, the color of his beloved’s lips. The bushes swayed back and forth, and a bud burst open before his eyes, bringing forth a perfect coral bloom. The flower moved in the wind, seeming to hum a melody as it glissaded slowly, methodically. Cameron picked out the notes on his guitar, strumming slowly, soon playing along with the flower’s song. A heady gust of wind plucked the bloom from the bush, its petals floating upward, spinning and swirling, and then it wasn’t a flower anymore, but his Rose dancing. Her feet were bare, and her body was clad only in the sheerest coral silk that moved with the wind as she glided gracefully through the air. She was singing. Singing for him. Her true love. The melodies and harmonies blended together, infusing joy and peace into Cam’s heart. This was happiness. Bliss. A song made of his love for Rose. She danced before him, smiling, seducing. She reached out and touched her slender fingers to his cheek, ever so lightly, and then teasingly moved away from him, making him want her even more. It was all in the tune—her beauty, her love for him and his for her, the teasing, the seduction, the complete and pure peace when their bodies joined. She danced and glided, moved away. She was a bloom again, and the wind tore the petals from the stem, scattering them, and she was gone.
He woke up in a cold sweat. The tune. Rose. It was the middle of the night, but he pulled on a pair of trousers, lit a lamp, and scurried out to the pianoforte in the main room. Grabbing a quill and paper, he sat down and began picking out notes. If he hurried, he could get it all down before the memory of his dream left him.
* * * *
Rose bathed and dressed quickly the next morning. She wasn’t looking forward to seeing Evan. She would apologize for her wanton behavior, beg his forgiveness, and move forward. She’d learned a valuable lesson. He wasn’t Cameron. She couldn’t recapture the feelings that Cameron evoked in her. Only one man existed for her, and she would never have him.
But that wasn’t Evan’s fault. He was who he was. She was thankful he had stopped her. She didn’t want to come for anyone but Cameron. Unfortunately, that meant she may never experience that earth-shattering feeling again.
She descended and went into the main parlor for breakfast. Evan was already there, as were Sophie and Ally.
“Good morning,” Rose said nervously.
“Rose, good morning,” Ally said. “You’re up early.”
“Yes, I couldn’t sleep any longer.” She turned to Evan. “My lord, might I have a word with you? In private?”
“Yes, of course.” He stood up and escorted her out into the hallway.
“Evan,” she said, “I want to apologize for my…behavior last night. I don’t know what got into me.”
“There’s no need to apologize.”
“Yes, there is. I guess—” What excuse could she give? “I guess my curiosity got the best of me. Lily and I…well, we’ve had conversations…”
“You don’t need to say anymore. I understand.”
“Do you?”
“Of course I do. I want you too. I’ve wanted you since I first laid eyes on you. But it’s not…proper.”
She exhaled. He thought she desired him. Well, why wouldn’t he? She had thrown herself at him like a strumpet. “Yes, of course. I know that, Evan.”
“I’m very fond of you, Rose. I don’t want to ruin what we have together. I think…I’d like to…”
“What is it, Evan?”
“I care for you more than I’ve cared for any other woman.”
“I’m flattered.”
“So I want to do this right, do you understand?”
“Yes, I understand.”
“Good. Now, when would you like to go riding today?”
Rose sighed. “Whenever you would like. Just fetch me when you’re ready. Would you care to join me for breakfast?”
“Thank you, but I’ve had enough. I will see you later.”
“Yes. Later.”
* * * *
Iris woke up in David’s arms, feeling, for the first time,
secure
. Twenty years ago, when he had loved her, it had been wonderful. An escape. But now, Longarry was gone, and he would never find out. She was in no danger. Had she ever felt so safe before in her entire life? No. Never.
He had loved her tenderly, and she had been amazed at how her body had responded. Feelings she thought long dead had resurfaced, sending her into an ecstasy that she had nearly forgotten. She smiled and leaned over and kissed David’s lips. His eyes fluttered open.
“Good morning, my Iris.”
“Good morning, David.”
He cuddled her close. “I didn’t realize how much I missed making love to you.”
“You haven’t forgotten any of the tricks.” She warmed at her own words, but why stand on ceremony now? They were in bed together, for heaven’s sake.
“I have a few more up my sleeve, you know.” He lowered his head and nipped her breast.
“Do you?”
“Yes, my love. I shall show you.” He pulled her on top of him and slid her body down onto his erection. “Now, my Iris, you will ride with me this morning.”
When they had both sated their hunger and collapsed in exhaustion, David rubbed her back soothingly.
“Iris,” he said.
“Yes?”
“I don’t want to lose you again.”
“You won’t.”
“Won’t I?”
“Of course not. Neither one of us is bound. We can continue our affair for as long as we like.”
“You want an affair with me?”
“Well…yes.” Her nerves jumped. What if he didn’t? “Don’t you?”
“No,” he said flatly.
Iris’s heart sank. He meant to leave her after this weekend. “All right, David. Forgive me. I just thought—”
“I want to marry you.”
Iris gasped. “You…what?”
“You heard me. I love you, Iris. Marry me. Be my countess.”
Her whole body sizzled. “David, isn’t this a little bit sudden?”
“Not really. It’s been twenty years in the making.”
“Oh, David.”
“Is that a yes?”
How she wanted to pounce on him and accept. But, “Well, there’s just so much to consider. My girls, for one. They’re the most important things in my life, and I couldn’t make this decision without… And I have nothing to offer you, David. Nothing. Longarry left us penniless. If it weren’t for Flora and Crispin, we would be out on the streets.”
“What about your parents?”
“My mother died ten years ago, and my father lives alone in London. Neither Flora nor I see him. I’ll never forgive him for marrying me off to Longarry.”
“So your sister knows the whole situation?”
“Yes, she does now. She knew I wasn’t happy, but she didn’t know the whole truth until Longarry died.”
“When will you tell me the whole truth, my Iris?”
“David… Later, all right?”
He stroked her cheek tenderly. “All right. But it doesn’t matter anyway. I still want you to be my wife.”
“But the girls. Crispin gave them dowries. I don’t know how I will ever repay him for that.”
“I’ll give them dowries. I’ll take care of all of you now.”
“But what of your own children?”
“My children will not suffer, I promise you. We are well off. Jacob and Evan both receive substantial annual allowances, and Miranda married well and is no longer my responsibility. I have plenty, darling, and I want to share it with you.”
Iris sniffed, her eyes misting. “But I have nothing, David.”
“How can you say that? You have yourself. You’re are all I’ve dreamed of for twenty years.”
“I’m afraid I come with a lot of…baggage.”
“I’m not afraid of baggage, my Iris. The only fear I have is losing you again.”
She smiled weakly, her heart pounding. “Oh, David. I do love you.”
“Then you’ll be my wife?”
“Yes. Yes, yes, yes!” She kissed his face, his neck, his chest. “I never thought I’d know true happiness.”
“Nor did I, my love. But we both will. For the rest of our lives.”
Iris leaped out of bed. “I want to bathe and dress. I want to go downstairs and tell everyone our news.”
David chuckled softly. “Whatever you wish.”
* * * *
Cameron busily scraped his quill on parchment, putting the last notation on his ballad for Rose. He titled it
Wandering Rose
, in memory of how she had danced before him in her sheer pink veiling in his dream. Dawn had broken several hours before, and he heard Tricia stirring in her chamber. He had been up for hours, working through the tune on the pianoforte and scribbling notes and chords. The work was nearly complete. It was both the easiest and the most difficult piece he’d ever written.
“Do you want some tea, Cam?” Tricia asked, padding out into the sitting room in her nightdress.
“Yes, thank you.”
“What are you doing?”
“Working on a composition. I’m sorry if I disturbed you last night.”
“I heard the pianoforte now and then, but you didn’t disturb me. I haven’t been sleeping all that well anyway.”
“Neither have I.”
“Cam, do you think we could ride into Bath and see Kat today?”
He smiled at his sister. “You know, I had a very productive night. I think there is time to go see Kat today.”
Tricia gave him a quick hug. “That’s wonderful. I do miss her. I know she’s in good hands, but it’s frightening, not knowing what is wrong with her.”
“Yes, I know.”
“Cam…”
“Hmm?”
“How are we going to…? That is, where will the money come from for Kat’s care?”
Cameron took a breath before answering. “Don’t worry about it. I have it under control.”
“How?”
“I got another commission, and I just completed it.” He set down the parchment. “I need to go to Bath anyway to get some new quills and parchment so I can make my final copy.” He sighed. “This is my best work ever,” he said, more to himself than to his sister.
“Who commissioned the work?” Tricia asked.
An invisible knife stabbed him in the gut. “Just some stuffy aristocrat. He wants to use my music to propose to his future wife.”
Tricia brought him his tea. “Cam?”
“Hmm?”
“I was wondering… What happened between you and Lady Rose?”
Cameron took a sip of his tea and cleared his throat. Just the topic he didn’t want to discuss. “What do you mean?”
“I’m not a child, Cameron. I saw the way things were between you.”
“You’re imagining things.”
“I don’t think so.”
“She’s a lady of the peerage. She has no interest in me, nor I in her. Now leave it, will you?”
“Cam,” Tricia said, “that night she stayed here, when we thought Kat had scarlet fever, I got up in the middle of the night to use the convenience, and then I checked on Kat. Mum had fallen asleep next to her, and Kat was awake. She asked for you, so I went to your chamber, but you weren’t there. So I went back to Kat, but she had fallen asleep.”
“Trish…”
“I didn’t think much about it, but since Lady Rose left, you’ve seemed so…
lost
.”
“I’m just worried about Kat, the same as you.”
“Why have you never married, Cam?”
Marry? How could he marry when he bore the responsibility for her, Kat, and their mother? He’d never even considered it until Rose. And now…well, he’d never marry. If he couldn’t have the woman he loved, he didn’t want any substitute. “None of your business.”
“There are scads of pretty maidens who adore you, but you’ve never given any of them a look. But the way you looked at Lady Rose…”
“Tricia, I’m only going to say this one more time. There is nothing between Rose—er, Lady Rose—and me. And you’re only fifteen years old! This isn’t any of your concern.”
She smiled. “You know, many maidens marry at fifteen.”
“You won’t, however.”
Not while I live.
“Perhaps I should. There’s no shortage of men vying for my favors, and then there would be one less mouth to feed around here.”
“You are far too young.”
“Perhaps I could find a wealthy young lord who would take care of all of us. Lady Rose’s brother, for instance. He is dashing.” Tricia closed her eyes.
“Good God, the man is my age!” Cameron shook his head. “And when the hell did you ever meet him, anyway?”
“A few days before the duke’s wedding. I was out riding and I met the duke and Lady Lily. The duke’s horse is the most beautiful black stallion. Anyway, Lady Rose and Lord Jameson, that’s his name, were with them, and Lady Lily remembered me and introduced us.”
“How do you know he’s not already married?”