Roth (12 page)

I open my mouth, but I don’t know what to say to him. So I just hold out my arm and feel the warmth of his hand clasping over mine. I close my eyes, hating when he speaks to Geyt in his own language. I love everything about Marduke, but I hate when he speaks in his own language. I hate the sounds that it brings out, the scratchiness and sharp words he speaks. No matter what he says, it sounds harsh and brutal.

“Marduke, stop
,” I beg, giving his hand as much of a squeeze as I can, frustrated when I know my grip is weak. What is going on with me?

“It’s okay
. This medic is just going to take some blood and then she’s going to hydrate you by…” Marduke’s voice drifts away from me, and I’m not sure why.

A headache quickly builds in my forehead, moving to encompass me entirely. I don’t feel the needle sticking into me or the blood being taken. My vision blurs
, and the light in the room feels like the sun is directly shining into my eyes.

Was it always this bright?

I close my eyes, my body feeling numb, and I allow myself to surrender to the darkness closing in on me.

***

I wake up from a dreamless sleep feeling refreshed. I notice I am lying on a gurney with two other people in the room. Marduke and Geyt are speaking in hushed voices on the other side from me. They’re not aware I am awake yet. I have been redressed in a new t-shirt and a thick jumper, one without holes or tears. I touch my stomach, finding the vest is still in place.

I’m not sure how long
I have slept, but from the noises still floating in from outside, it sounds like the fight is still going on. Who is winning? Are we out there fighting too now?

“Marduke?” I call out, giving up waiting to be noticed. I sit up, swinging my feet out from the side of the gurney. Darkness is floating in from outside so
I am aware the second sun has set. Does that mean I have only been out for a couple of hours? Or has it been a day or more since I passed out?

Marduke rushes over to me, reaching me before I can drop down from the gurney and hugs me tightly to his chest. I feel hesitant to hug him back, given that Geyt def
initely knows who he is.

“What’s going on?” I ask, feeling him tense around me.

“You should be okay now. The medic was able to intravenously hydrate you and give you the medicine you needed.”

“What medicine? What is wrong with me?” I hold my
breath, fearful for what his answer will be.

“I don’t know how to say it to you.” He holds me tighter as though he’s afraid I’ll leave him. This can’t be good.

I lift my head away from his chest, looking up into his bright green eyes. “I’m dying, aren’t I? Or I’m part of some other weird race. I’m not human!” I cry, my body shaking in fear.

“What? No to both of those things
. You’re not dying. You
are
human and we can get through this together.” He leans back, taking a deep breath and linking both of his hands through mine, his grip growing tighter over mine. “You’re pregnant.”

My mouth drops open in shock, and
I am pretty sure I still haven’t woken up yet. I passed out after I vomited my guts, and now I’m dreaming.

“Mattie?” Marduke lets go of one of my hands to hold up my chin, forcing me to look at him except I let my gaze fall just next to his head where I focus on the empty wall of the tent beside him.

“Can you wake me up? I want to wake up now,” I whisper, my throat tightening, and now I know I’m going to pass out again. I’m about to be suffocated.

“You’re awake and this is real. You and me… we’re
going to have a baby,” he says to me carefully, his eyes most definitely focused on me. I can’t bring myself to look away from the empty side of the tent. His hand tightens over me and pain jolts up my arm. He’s not trying to hurt me, I don’t think, just trying to get my attention. If I look at him, though, if I see the truth in his eyes, then I can’t claim this is a dream. I can’t believe this is one of my nightmares because this situation definitely makes this a nightmare.

“No
, we’re not. I can’t be… because it’s not possible.” We’re not the same species. He’s an alien. I get that he looks human, and to me, he acts human, but he’s not. We don’t have the same anatomy inside, right?

Visions of a slimy green alien growing inside my stomach assaults me, then having the evil thing ripping its way out of me.

I turn my head, dry retching, but nothing comes out. My stomach is still empty.

He holds my head, easing me back onto the gurney, but as soon as my back touches it
, I panic and push him away.

“You’re wrong
, Marduke. I can’t be… that. We’re on Roth, a planet where, if anyone found out about you, you’d be killed instantly. And we’re under attack from those awful creatures that are laying
freaking eggs
. This is not real because it can’t be, got it?” I demand, my hands grabbing hold of his hoodie and scrunching it in his hands.

Finally
, I look up at him and see disappointment and hurt flash across his face before he looks away from me.

“Fine, okay
,” he gives in, yet I know now. Even with him looking down at the ground, I know that hurt and disappointment is Marduke not liking my response to his news. News that is real.

This is real.

Shit.

“Can we go, please?” I force my hands to loosen their grip
, and instead, just rest them over his chest. Underneath my touch his heart beats furiously. “What happened with contacting your mother? What did she say?”

“I wasn’t able to communicate with anyone. As of right now, we’re stuck on Roth.”

I sigh in disappointment. “What now?”

“You have to rest for a few days.” He looks back at me now, his face a mask of calmness.

“I can’t lie around in a bed while God knows what is happening out there.” I nod at the exit, the sounds of the battle outside making their way to my ears again. Since I’m trying not to think about…
the news
… my mind is desperate to focus on anything else.

Again
, disappointment crosses his face, and I have the urge to slap him for making me feel guilty. I’m not doing anything wrong, am I?

“Guys, there you are!” Hank’s voice interrupts my d
epressing thoughts, and I welcome the distraction.

“What’s going on
? Why are you sweating? What’s happened?” I rush to say, slipping past Marduke who lets me go easily. I miss his closeness immediately and wonder over his easiness in letting me pass him. Other than when he left me to come here, when has he willingly not had some form of physical contact with me?

“That spaceship we first went onto, the one where we found the guns
, is still here! Kane managed to get past the brainwashed humans keeping watch over it. We have weapons!”

Hank signals for us to follow him
, and then he quickly disappears into the darkness.

Wanting to get as far away from
the news
as possible, I quickly follow after him. As I exit, the last thing I expect is to come face-to-face with is a gun pointed at my face.

Chapter 9

Marduke

I’m hurt by Mattie’s resistance to believe she is pregnant or to show any emotion she actually cares about the fact. Is it because the thought of having a child with me repels her? Or is it common for humans to react this way? Am I over-thinking it?

I hadn’t known what to expect, but I knew deep down it wouldn’t be good. It’s obvious we’re in a bad situation and nothing is getting better. There is no easy answer to how we can get off this planet, not with communications down and the only spaceship here not working.

Geyt has assured me she will be discreet and will help in any way she can. I think we can trust her, but I’m already considered a
brainwashed human
on this planet. What happens when they find out the truth? That there is no such thing as brainwashed humans? What happens when they realise I’m not human at all? I have already made it clear to Kane that Mattie is mine. It won’t be hard for him to figure out I am the father of her child.

We need to get off this planet before it becomes obv
ious she’s pregnant. So I not only have to try to attempt to make her accept the fact she is pregnant with our child, I also need to talk her into leaving Logan, Lisa and her sister behind. Maybe even Hank since I think convincing him to not go back for Lisa will be impossible.

I follow Mattie out slowly, my eyes adjusting to the darkness. There are more people around now, some gro
wing tired of watching the battle between the hinemas and Claws. It’s only the sheer volume of Claws on this planet that is keeping them in contention. I am sorry to say, over half of the hinemas have been disabled. I fear we might end up having to fight the Claws after all.

“What the hell are you doing?” Hank’s raised voice forces me to quicken my pace
. I round a corner to find Mattie standing still, her arms raised in the air while Kane points a gun in her face.

“She’s not allowed to hear our plans. She’s not we
lcome here,” he sneers while his other arm, which had been resting at his side, moves to point the gun in that hand directly at me.

I ignore the imminent danger and keep moving until
I am within reach of Mattie then I drag her behind me. I’ve always felt protective of her, however now that feeling has gone up tenfold. She might not care that she’s pregnant with our child, but there is no way I will stand around and let her and our baby be threatened by anyone.

“What is your problem?” Mattie asks from behind me. I have to move both of my arms back to trap her there.

“You’re a brainwashed freak sympathizer. You can’t be trusted,” he sneers then his disgust moves to focus on me.

“Like hell I can’t be trusted! I have been with you ev
ery step of the way. You can’t just sideline me!”

“I can and I have. Now get lost.” His gun is still trained on us
, but the second one has fallen back to his side.

“Just go
. I’ll talk to him,” Hank murmurs to us.

“If you even think about trying to change my mind, you can get lost
, too, Fields. You’re hanging on by a thread.”

“We’re going
,” I announce loudly, careful not to make a sudden movement and irk Kane.

“What do you mean
, we’re going? That’s not fair. I—”

I cut her off by turning to face her and placing my hand over her mouth. I just want her to stop talking,
yet she acts as though I am attacking her. She slaps at my hand, and when I wrap my arm around her middle and lift her up, she digs her nails into my arm and kicks her legs out.

As soon as I get her around the corner
, I let her go.

“What the hell, Marduke? Don’t you ever do that to me again!” she screams at me.

“I’m sorry. I just needed to get you out of there. He had a gun trained on you!” I shout back, my anger building quickly.

She growls at me and then paces up and down the length of the tent we’re behind.

“Mattie?” I sigh her name, my anger quickly dissipating.

“Don’t, okay? Just don’t. I think I need to be alone.” She doesn’t wait for a response, she
just storms away. It takes every ounce of willpower I have not to follow her, too. My only comfort is that she left in the opposite direction of where we were just threatened by Kane.

The comfort of that doesn’t last long
, though. Different scenarios enter my mind of her in trouble, of her confronting Kane while he holds a gun. I stand completely still because I’m aware, as soon as I take one step forward, I’ll have no control over myself moving another step towards her and then another.

She wants some privacy and to be alone,
so even if it kills me, I have to give it to her. Fortunately, her alone time only last a few minutes.

She storms back up to me, her annoyance still obvious, and she doesn’t stop until she’s right in front of me.
“I couldn’t stop thinking that Kane came back for you and was about to shoot you. I don’t want to talk to you, but I need to be able to see you. So, come on.” With that, she turns away quickly, missing my small smile. She was concerned for me just as I was for her. I follow her without hesitation.

She takes us back towards the edge of the camp and although we’re too far away from the battle to easily see what is happening now, we can hear it. The lights from the hinema show us glimpses. I don’t like being so close to it, but Mattie did say she didn’t want to talk, so voicing my complaint probably won’t get me what I want.
I just grit my teeth, feeling grateful she at least came back for me, as we stand with the smaller crowd around us and listen to the harsh noises.

We stand for a long time
, just listening, and then I can’t stand the distance any longer and I reach out and take her hand. She allows the contact, and soon pulls me down where we sit along the dirt, waiting for the first sun to rise.

People drift away, most likely preferring the comfort of their tents.
When we’re alone, she finally speaks. “I didn’t mean to yell at you before. I just don’t understand why Kane has to be such an asshole.”

“I think it’s probably for the best that he doesn’t want to include us.”

“Why?”

“Because I don’t want you put in harm’s way.”

“I already am in harm’s way no matter what, Marduke. We’re trapped here now.” She moves so that she’s sitting in front of me, and I part my legs so she can lean into my chest. I wrap my arms around her, thankful to have her there once again.

“Will you do something for me?”
She asks quietly, her voice disappearing into the wind so I almost think I imagined her words.

“I’ll do anything for you, Mattie.”

“Please take this vest off me.”

“Anything but that.” I wince, realising I just walked straight into that one.

“Just for a moment, please? Just open the front so it’s loose?”

“It’s too tight for you?” I lift up her new sweater and t-shirt
then find the place that reacts to my touch and pull down on the seam that appears. The vest is supposed to adjust to the body type that is wearing it. While it was too large for Logan back on Earth, it should be able to adjust to Mattie no problem, even as she grows.

“No, I just wanted to feel this.” She takes hold of my hand and settles it over her stomach. My heart stops beating and I hold my breath, unsure what I am meant to say to this. I don’t want to say the wrong thing and set her off.

Her stomach is smooth and soft. I bring my other hand over to span her waist. She doesn’t feel any bigger than before; if anything, her ribs feel more pronounced now. But I know without a doubt there is our child growing inside her.

“I still can’t believe that I’m… because I never wanted to become a mother. I had a plan
, Marduke. I wanted to put my basketball career first. I would finish college, get scouted to a team, maybe in Europe. I wanted to play for Australia at least once in the Olympics and then I would retire and change to coaching. I would have gone back home, coach a team there, and then I thought I’d worry about whether or not I was ready to become a mother. I’m only nineteen. I’m definitely not ready now.”

“I’m sorry that dream of yours can no longer happen
,” I say, feeling her pain for a dream now lost, but also distracted by the feel of her stomach.

“You know what? I don’t even care about my career, not now. The real reason I can’t be pregnant is because my mum isn’t here to help me. She was going to be an aw
esome grandmother. She would sneak in treats to her grandkids when I wasn’t looking. She and dad would take them out once a week to the park to watch them play. She would call every night to wish them goodnight and sweet dreams, and she would spoil them rotten with new toys and clothes.

“
Dad would do his best to introduce them to sports, trying to figure out what sport they liked best, and then he’d begin his training. I always loved basketball, and I have my dad to thank for that. Hannah cried the first time she saw a ball. I think because I accidently missed a catch and it hit her in the face. Dad tried every sport he could with her, even golf. She hated everything.”

I lift one of my hands off her stomach, wiping the tears that are freely falling down her face and muffling her voice.

“I should be able to call my mum up and ask her a hundred questions about being pregnant. She would tell me about the times when she was pregnant with me, and I would feel better because I wouldn’t be alone in this. She would go to every doctor’s appointment and she would know exactly what to say to avoid any panic attacks. I can’t do this without her.”

“I’m sorry you have to, but ignoring it won’t change what you are.”

“I can’t do this alone.”

“You’re not alone, you have me.”

“You’re not the same,” she states sadly, and I feel a drift between us once more. I don’t understand this connection with her mother. I had no such thing with any of my own family. I knew Mattie wouldn’t treat our child like my parents treated me, yet what she described of her own parents is extreme. And that is grandparents. What does she expect of me as father?

“I don’t know how to be a mother, Marduke
,” she whispers.

“I don’t know how to be a father. Family is treated very differently on Oden. I never had a
father-figure to know what I’m meant to do now.”

“You don’t expect to raise it like you were raised, do you?” She tenses under my touch and sits up. I lean fo
rward, catching her before she can move away from me, my hands not leaving her stomach.

“No, I couldn’t ever treat something that we created together with
disdain. I adore you, Mattie, and I know I’ll adore our child just the same.” I relax when she falls back against me, accepting my words.

“We’re not the same species
, Marduke. I never considered this a possibility. What happens to women who are pregnant on Oden?”

“I’m not exactly sure. Geyt was going to gather some information for you and talk you through it
, though.”

“
Okay. Please just tell me your babies don’t rip out of their mother’s stomachs when they’re ready to be born?”

I snort in laughter at the ridiculousness of that. Surely human pregnancies aren’t like that? Where did that even come from? “No, there will be no harming this beautiful stomach of yours.” I caress her stomach, unable to stop m
yself from moving farther up and cupping her bra-covered breast as I lean closer and kiss down the side of her neck.

She gives in at first, but unfortunately and far too quickly
, she is batting away my hands and pulling her neck away from me. “This is what got us into this mess in the first place!”

“Mess?” I freeze, afraid she might ask me how to te
rminate this pregnancy. How could she think of our baby as a mess?

“I just mean that the timing is a mess. We’re sort of trapped on Roth, you know? There are those freaky cre
atures attacking us and we have no plan for our future. Not one that is likely to work, anyway.”

“I won’t let anything bad happen to you or the baby. I’ll get you off this planet and away from all of this.”

“And go where? To Oden? Back to Earth? There is nothing there on Earth without the humans being allowed back. No doctors to deliver a baby, and we’ll always be hunted there.”

“Oden is too unsafe, and Earth is under my father’s control now. We need to find refuge
on a new planet.”

“No, I don’t want to go anywhere else. Don’t you see? We have to fight this battle
, Marduke, and then we need to win this war. I don’t know how I’m supposed to do this without my parents, but I definitely can’t do this away from home.”

“You can’t be out on the frontlines anymore
, Mattie. You have to think of our child—”

“I am thinking of it. It needs a home, and that home is only going to be on Earth.”

I bite my tongue, aware that not that long ago Mattie was furious and not even willing to acknowledge she is pregnant. She came around to that, and she’ll eventually come around to this, too. She just needs time to process this.