Roth (7 page)

I don’t know
what else Marduke has to tell me, but whatever it is, I’m not ready to hear it. After him telling me my parents have been killed, and now, knowing I’ve lost Hank, I am not stable enough to hear anything else. Good or bad.

My knees weaken, my fatigue setting in and possibly shock.
I am unbearably tired and my mind drifts, my thoughts moving over to my parents.

I’ve never been overly religious. I never went to church and steered clear of the religious debate that always seemed to be important back home. I
’ve hoped there was more to the world. I’ve loved the idea of a greater power steering us right, watching over us. But what greater power allowed this to happen? Are we still under protection of the watchful eyes of someone when we’re not even on the same planet?

“Do you believe in
Heaven? Do you have an equivalent here?” I ask him, not sure Marduke can give me the answers I need to feel better.

“We believe that
, when you die, you stay alive in our history; in the words written and spoken.”

“On Earth, some people believe in
Heaven. A place you go after you’re dead, where you get to be with all your loved ones that have passed away. You can look over the people you left behind and live for eternity. I never cared about that stuff before, but now, I have to believe it. I was ready to die, Marduke. Without my parents, my sister, my friends here, losing you and Logan, I had nothing left to live for. All I wanted to do before I died was to kill your brother. I wanted to swipe that smug smile off his ugly face and make him pay for what he took from me.” I breathe heavily from my sudden outburst and feel anger growing inside me again. It pushes away my fatigue and tiredness, giving me strength to want to fight again.

“That’s really dark, Mattie. You can’t think like that anymore. Logan, Lisa and your sister are alive. I’m alive. None of us can handle losing you.”

“But you just said before that we can’t go to Oden. I’ll still never see them again, so they’ve already lost me, and I’ve lost them.”

“But I’m here
, and I need you with me, not in your Heaven where you’re untouchable to me. We’ll figure something out, I promise. Just no more dark thoughts, okay? We don’t go looking for any fights, and our one priority is getting off Roth.”

“It’s not fair to leave everyone here. We have to get Earth back.”

“It’s not possible, I’m sorry.”

“I’m not sure that’s good enough, not now
,” I admit, knowing if I manage to leave here with Marduke and escape this hell that is the invasion and the aftermath of it all, I won’t ever stop seeing the faces of those we left behind. Not only everyone that I love, but strangers, too.

His body tenses again, his arms locking around me
, and a rumble erupts from his chest. “I’ll get you off this planet and to safety, no matter what,” he promises, although it comes out sounding more like a threat.

“I want to go home
, Marduke. I want to go to Earth. Can you promise me that?”

He doesn’t answer, and I know he can’t. If Earth is lost to us forever, then what do I do? Roth is awful
, and I hate this place, but I think, deep down, my biggest problem with Roth is that it isn’t home. It isn’t Earth. I can’t ever accept this place as being my new home. What’s more, no matter what planet I go to, I’ll feel the same.

Tears fall down my face, smearing against Marduke’s chest
, before I push away from him. I can’t even summon any anger. I am already stretched and know this isn’t Marduke’s fault. His family might be the reason that Earth was invaded, his actions the reason I made it to Roth, yet I know Marduke cares for me. I love him and can’t be angry at his wish to protect me. I can’t stand the thought of him being hurt by this, either.

“What are we going to do now? Your spaceship is d
estroyed.” I wipe away my tears and glance around us. Marduke might want to get me off this planet as quickly as he can; however there isn’t an easy way for him to do that. We’re in the middle of the forest in a clearing made by the crash. Most everything appears scattered and destroyed.

“We’ll go to the camp
, and I’ll find us a new one. We can still escape here.” He lets me move away, but his hand quickly reaches out and takes mine, almost like he refuses to let me go completely.

“Escape to where? You said before you haven’t even thought that far ahead!”

“I will figure it out. It will need to be a place out of my father’s reach, though.”

“Is there even a place
like that? Once Earth is under his control, which I assume is right now, won’t he be looking for his next planet?”

“There were several surrounding you and your sun along with how large and vast Earth is, that should keep him busy.”

“Okay, but with you disappearing, he’ll have no choice except to let Ival lead, right?
He
won’t give up trying to hurt you.” My heart squeezes and an unwelcome memory from my nightmares resurfaces to taunt me—Marduke, beaten and bleeding. All at the hands of his brother.

“I was never even being considered to lead. It was a test, one for Ival to see if he could kill me, his brother, to become leader. One he failed. But fortunately for him, he isn’t exactly in too much trouble over it. I fell in love with a human, and while my father might not exactly know the
extent of my feelings for you, he is still disappointed.”

“Your father wanted your brother to kill you?” I gape at him, pulling on his hand that is holding my own so he stops moving and faces me.

“Yes.”

“That’s so sick and awful. How could a father do that to his sons? What type of leader would even do that?”
I am angry on behalf of Marduke. I would be devastated if my father, someone I trusted and who is supposed to love me unconditionally, wanted me dead.

“It was just a test.” He shrugs, his movement shocking me.

“You’re not even upset with him because he did that?” I feel a distance growing between us, a wall of confusion and differences. Does he consider this normal? Would he do this to his own child? Would he one day consider sacrificing me or giving me a similar test? What if he one day expects me to harm Hannah?

He hesitates, his eyes searching mine before he a
nswers me. Does he sense the distance between us, too? “I understand that he wanted to be sure of Ival’s dedication to our family and our legacy.”

“So
, if you were in his shoes, you’d have done the same?” I take a step back, knocking into a piece of twisted metal from the wreckage.

“No!” He steps with me, his arms wrapping around me and bringing me closer to him again. “Our child will never have to face something like that. I understand my father because he is the way he’s been taught to be. He’s never had to change his way of thinking
. He’s never wanted to. I’m not like that.”

“Our child?” I suddenly feel sick. Marduke is moving way too quickly for me. Moving to other planets, leaving everyone behind
, and now kids? “Marduke, I can’t have kids.”

“Why not? Is there a medical problem?” He gazes at me in confusion and his eyes drift down to my stomach, giving me shivers. Not good ones
, either.

“No, I don’t know. I’m too young for that, and if you hadn’t noticed, we’re not the same. You’re an alien and I’m human. Things don’t work like that for us. Besides, we’re in the middle of a shit situation. There is no way… I mean
, it’s not going… No.” I feel panic building inside me. Why is he bringing this up now? Why does he not seem as panicked as I feel?

“I don’t believe we’re as different as you think. Does the thought of having a child with me scare you? Repulse you?”
I watch him wince and see the fear that takes over him while he holds his breath and waits for my answer.

I don’t know why this is such a big deal to him, esp
ecially not now, however I know my answer is important. So I think about his words, even if they cause me to shake in my own fear.

“I would never hate a child that was part of you, part of me. But it would scare me worse than this invasion. I’m not ready to be a mother
, and I don’t think I’ll ever be ready. It’s not in me, not now, not after what we’ve been through. We’ll never be safe, so neither will a child. We’d not only have to worry about where we would live, but who would help deliver such a child? We’d have two species hunting us. Your family and people would never accept our love or any possible child. Humans would be the same. No child should have to be brought into such hostility.”

“But what if we could be safe? What if we could get away and have a family, one that only encourages love and acceptance?”

I shake my head. “I’m tired, Marduke, and this isn’t even an issue. Please, can we drop it and focus on a problem we’re actually facing. Like where are we?”

He stares at me, his eyes not moving even a fraction away from me
, and my panic doesn’t recede.

“Marduke, please let this go. Where are we? You said
we needed to get back to the camps; well, the second sun is going to set soon, and we’ll be covered in darkness. Should we wait until tomorrow to get back? Or start our hike now? How far is it until we reach the camps?” I attempt to distract him, hoping my questions will force him to focus on something else, something more important.

He finally breaks eye contact, taking in our surroun
dings. “I think we’re too far away from the camp to make it within a day; it could likely take a lot longer than that. We should rest up here for now and begin our travels tomorrow. We’ll need to find food and water.”

I nod, not loving the fact there is going to be a long walk ahead of us. With my lack of a decent diet and little to no exercise lately, I’m not looking forward to this cha
llenge. I will meet it, though, because I refuse to give up.

“It’s cold; we should get you a shirt.” My eyes again find the claw tattooed over his chest and the fear grips hold of my heart.

Why did I see those creatures? What were they? Why were they on a spaceship?

No sooner have those thoughts crossed my mind than a
strong wind assaults us unnaturally, and it chills me in my damp clothes. As a loud engine roars overhead, I look up at the darkening sky to see a large spaceship moving above us. It’s low in the sky and terrifying.

“Is that one of yours?” I yell out to Marduke, my voice disappearing as soon as the words are out of my mouth.

The spaceship keeps moving, and in only seconds, it disappears from our sight.

“It… I don’t know. I think so.” Marduke frowns, his eyes still on the sky even though the spaceship has moved on.

“Who would be coming here? Is it someone coming to get you? Your dad or Ival?” I ask as my eyes move back to the wreckage scattered around us.

“It might be someone coming for me, but I doubt my father or Ival would waste their time on this. I’ve barely been gone a week. It’s just that…” he trails off, his eyes finally leaving the sky,
yet I know his mind is elsewhere. “The bottom looked different. I haven’t seen spaceships like that for a long time.”

“What if the spaceship belongs to those creatures? The ones with the claws?” I shiver.

“They wouldn’t be capable of flying a spaceship. Imagine any of your animals back on Earth. None would be capable of flying such a craft. Besides, it was one of ours. It just looked a bit different. I haven’t been on Oden for a while; they might be forced into using our older crafts to help with the larger than usual burden we’re dealing with.”

“Why did I see those creatures then, Marduke? What did this to me?”
When I hold out the tattered sides of my sweater, he takes the material out of my hands and examines it. “John was cut in
half
, Rob lost his legs. What else could do that?”

“I don’t know. We need to get to the camps
, and I need to contact my mother. Something is wrong and she might be able to tell me what it going on.”

“Does
your father know you’re here?”

“No, or at least
, not that I know of. He was busy when I left; they were having problems with some of the security guarding Oden checking in. They were having trouble communicating with some of the planets under our control, too.”

“Really? Do you think we’re fighting back and wi
nning?” My heart begins to race from the possibility. I’ve never considered that others would be taking up the fight. I have just assumed the five of us getting onto that spaceship would be it, that it was up to us to take on everyone on our own. What if there is a rebellion happening, though?

“One of the planets that went dark only had animals on it. I think our communications are just
acting up.”

“But what if it’s not? What if we’re fighting back and
winning?” Excitement tinges my voice.

He eyes me warily.
“It could be, but that won’t help us here.”

“It’ll give people hope. It’s huge, Marduke.” I grip his arms, which are still wrapped loosely around me, and squeeze him tightly.

He doesn’t appear to share my excitement so I step away from him, feeling renewed energy. Maybe this is possible. Maybe we can actually win this!