Roth (17 page)

“I know
.” As Hank lowers his eyes, I know he feels shame and guilt over what Kane is doing. He might not have been certain of what Kane had in store for us, but he did talk me into coming out here with him.

“I’m sorry to bring her up like that. While I hate that you’re not able to be with her, I’m sort of relieved she isn’t here to see this.”

As always, his face shows his devastation as soon as Lisa is mentioned. “But what if wherever she is right now, she’s facing the same thing, and I’m not there to protect her?”

I think about Marduke’s words and how
, if his father is behind this, he’ll never allow this to touch Oden. Lisa, Hannah and Logan have to all be fine. They most likely don’t know any of the horrors we’re facing. But to assure Hank of that, I would have to tell him more about Marduke than I am comfortable with.

“Is that why you wanted me with you? So you could keep an eye on me?”

“I have to believe we can do this; that I can get off this planet to find Lisa. Every time I close my eyes I imagine what will happen when I finally see her face again. And while I’ll admit that I think about reuniting with Lisa in a more private way—”

“Thanks for that image,” I grumble.

“—I can’t imagine you not being there when I see her for the first time. I see us all together, laughing and hugging, and finally back on Earth. We’ll realise that we’re all going to be okay and we’ll get through anything life throws at us. The girls will be there, and Lisa and I can be together permanently.”

“Wow, that’s some commitment
,” I say in jest, but I have known since Lisa and I met Hank that they had a thing and it is the forever type. I always knew they would eventually get together and probably marry one day. To hear it coming from Hank sounds a little strange, though. I assumed Lisa would have to wait awhile before a ring appeared on her finger.

“Having constant
near-death experiences sort of speeds things up and puts everything in perspective. Just look at you and Marduke.”

“What about us?” I hold my breath, afraid he’s about to talk about finding love with someone from another planet. Has he figured out the truth? Is he actually about to say something supportive about it? Does he understand my position?

“You were strangers when you met, and now you’re together and I know you love him. I know he would do anything for you. He’s constantly throwing himself into harm’s way to shield you from it. He’s a good guy. I think, maybe you saved him when we found him in Vancouver.”

“We both pulled him out of there, Hank
,” I remind him, recalling how the machines were trying to kill Marduke. He was covered in glass and unconscious when we found him.

“I know, but I think he had given up fighting them. You saw how he was just standing there motionless in front of that machine. They brainwashed him and he was ready to give in. Then he saw you and you changed him. You gave him a reason to keep fighting.”

Hank’s impassioned speech makes me cry because he really has no clue who Marduke is, and if he did, he would not be singing his praises.

“Can we please find him now?” I ask, wiping away the tears even though new ones replace them immediately.

“Yes, of course.” He hands me my backpack, which I reluctantly place back on.

We walk back through the wreckage and
I am shocked by how far I’ve run. Kane joins us along the way, and by the time we make it back to Hunter, he is running towards us. I realise he’s already set the bomb. We race back a few steps and hear the explosion. For him to have made it this far away from the nest before it went off means he gave himself a longer fuse. I glare at him for doing that.

“It’s done.” He grins at Kane who slaps him on the back in a congratulatory way.

“That’s two down!” Kane laughs and I’m fairly certain it’s the first time I’ve ever seen him laugh or even smile. He’s surprisingly attractive when he’s not being an asshole.

“Not if Marduke’s failed
,” Hank says, his eyes avoiding looking at me.

“Destroying the nest wouldn’t have failed
; we heard the bomb detonating. Whether or not he escaped doesn’t matter.” Kane shrugs.

“You bas—”

“Mattie?” a voice calls out, cutting me off. I recognise it immediately.

“Marduke!” I cry in response and push past Hank, moving towards the running footsteps.

We almost crash into each other as I jump into his arms, holding him to me as I bury my head into his shoulder and sob. My legs are wrapped around his middle while he holds me up, his hands gripping me hard enough to leave bruises.

“You scared me half to death. What was that gunshot? And was that another explosion nearby?”
he hisses into my ear, his arms wrapping around me even tighter.

“I thought you were…” I’m shaking in his arms, I know I am. I can feel him, touch him
, and know that he is alive, but the shock is just settling in.

While he
soothes me, letting me cry over his shoulder, I feel like a blubbering mess and wonder if I am so emotional partly because of the pregnancy. That’s a side effect Geyt mentioned I’d have. Or maybe it wouldn’t have mattered whether or not I was pregnant. Everything is beginning to be too much, and I have too many unshed tears waiting for me to cry them out. I have been putting off crying and mourning what I have lost since the invasion hit Earth.

When I feel his body tense against me, I know
we are no longer alone. I try to pull myself together and lean back, letting him set me down on my feet gently.

“You were attacked?”
he gasps, his hands moving to my ripped jumper.

“Yeah, but my vest protected me again
,” I whisper back to him, hoping he will realise not to ask me any more questions in case it causes Kane to start up with those same questions. How am I meant to explain that I am wearing alien technology? That I can’t even get this thing off me and it only reacts to Marduke’s touch? Or what happens if he demands that he wears it? This is the best chance our baby has, and there is no way I can take it off me, not while it’s protecting the baby.

“Did you destroy the nest?” Kane asks
, his voice stiff and flat. It’s clear he has no love for Marduke and couldn’t care less he has returned.

“Yes. I set the bomb, but I dropped the match on the ground and it set
fire to one of the nearby eggs. They’re hot and apparently very flammable. We might not need bombs when we can just start a fire.”

“Is it safe to start a fire in a forest? What if it burns the whole thing down?” Hank questions.

“Might be a good idea actually,” Kane mutters, tapping his chin. “We could do that from the outside.”

“It’s too cold to start a fire. The ground is damp, and so is the vegetation. All the trees are covered in this green moss crap and it’s all soggy. We need the weather to change to that stifling heat
,” Hunter says as he comes to stand next to Kane.

“Does anyone remember when that’ll be?”

We all shrug.

“It has to be soon. We’ve had the cold weather since before we crashed
,” Hank points out.

“True, maybe this could work.”

“What about the other teams? How do we warn them?” Hank looks to Kane, hoping for a solution.

“We can’t. When we start the fire, they’ll just have to fend for themselves.” Kane shrugs, his carelessness giving me shivers.

“That’s awful,” I murmur, unfortunately loud enough for him to hear.

His face immediately contorts into one of rage.
“No, you know what is awful? Those fucking creatures that are trying to kill us. And if those nests hatch, then we have another army breathing down on our camp and all of those people there,” Kane snaps at me.

“Fine, so we head back and wait for the hot weather to start up?” Hank asks, his hand gripping onto Kane’s arm, no doubt ready to hold him back if he decides to attack us.

“We might as well,” Kane consents.

“Anyone remember which way the camps are? I’m all turned around in here
,” Hunter admits.

“If we can make it back to that initial nest
, then we’ll be able to find our way back from there. We basically went straight to that point. It was only afterwards that we veered off course.” Kane turns in the direction of the first nest.

“Actually, we veered off course when we heard those claws coming for us
,” Marduke reminds him.

“Whatever, let’s just find the first nest and move backwards from there.”

“It’s getting dark, maybe we should set up camp for the next few hours, and at first light, we take off again,” Hank suggests.

“Is it safe to sleep in here? Shouldn’t someone keep an eye out?” Hunter eyes the surrounding trees suspiciously.

“I will,” Marduke offers.

“Yeah right, like I’d trust you
,” Kane sneers.

“He wouldn’t leave without me, and I wouldn’t leave without Hank, and he’d warn you because he wouldn’t leave a man behind. So just get over yourself
,” I snap.

“I’m too tired for this shit
. All of you shut up,” Hunter grumbles as he drops down onto the ground, apparently happy to set up camp here.

He pulls out a bottle of water from his backpack and we all scatter around the area
, doing the same.

I keep close to Marduke and slowly eat one of the health bars Geyt gave me, aware that not all that long ago I was ready to vomit.
Marduke fills me in on what happened at the nest after I left, and I quietly inform him on what happened to me. His jaw locks and anger flashes through his gaze as I tell him how I nearly died. Another wave of guilt hits me.

“I’m a selfish person, aren’t I?”

“No, I’d never say that about you. More like selfless.”

“But I put our baby in danger by coming here, and for what? This mission turned out to be pointless. They would have eventually figured out the fire thing anyway and come back. We could have stayed back at the camps and not had guns shoved in our faces
or had to deal with the creatures or Kane.”

“It doesn’t matter, not now. What does matter is that you are both safe and soon the Claws will be gone. Then we can focus on getting off this planet.”

I nod my head, agreeing with him. I am incredibly over being stuck on Roth. I want to breathe in fresh air, air that doesn’t smell metallic, and see a sky that is normal looking with only one sun and normal seasons.

I glance back at the others. Hunter has already fallen asleep, his head resting on his backpack. How he can actually sleep on a backpack full of ingredients that can make a bomb is beyond me. Kane and Hank are talking quietly a few feet away.

I lie down, Marduke quickly doing the same so I can move against him and rest my head on his shoulder. When he tells me to go to sleep and I say I can’t, he asks me to tell him about Hannah. So I do.

I go right back to when we were younger and I once drew over her arms and face with permanent marker. I tell him how we used to fight constantly and she was the biggest crier ever. As soon as I touched her, she’d scream murder. I tell him every story I can remember and some of them make me laugh, others make me cry because I am reminded that I miss my sister
, and the stories that have my parents in them remind me of what I’ve lost. I talk for hours, my throat drying out and becoming sore from my over-talking. I don’t care, though; it feels good to get it all out.

I feel safe and relaxed in Marduke’s arms and
am reminded of Hank’s words earlier when he spoke about Lisa. He said going through what we have been through puts things in perspective. He is ready to commit completely to Lisa.

My feelings for Marduke feel present, powerful and right.
I love him. I’m
in
love with him. He’s brave, strong, kind and sweet. He’s going to be the father to our baby, and if we can ever get away from this hellhole of a situation we’re in, I can see a future together. I don’t see a where or how, but I see us and the baby together. I see the three of us safe, and that is what truly matters.

There has to be a way we can get Hank to Lisa, and a way to keep Hannah and Logan with us
, so we can have that forever together.

I want to tell him all of this,
however I don’t because it’s quiet and I’m not sure if Kane is asleep or not, so I hold my feelings in.

I hope tomorrow I’ll have the chance to tell him how I feel.

I have no idea of the horrors that are about to hit us, though.

No clue about the death I
will be forced to witness.

Tomorrow
, I will find my hope ripped away from me and that future taken away.

Chapter 14

Marduke

I keep watch throughout the night while Mattie continues speaking of her sister for a long time, finally drifting off to sleep in my arms. I feel content holding her, feeling her breath tickling my neck and hearing her heavy sighs in her sleep as she holds me tighter to her.

Her words had me feeling paralysed the entire time she spoke. She was able to speak for hours about the memories she
has of her sister. Shared vacations, family gatherings and everyday occurrences. She had stories that made her smile, laugh and cry. Her feelings towards her sister are powerful and I’ve realised two things as she was talking.

One is that there
is no way we can disappear without going back to Oden. The bond she shares with Hannah is obvious, and she will always feel guilty and lost without her sister. So if—no,
when
—we escape Roth, we will have to make a side trip to Oden so we can get Hannah. And, of course, Logan.

However, getting Earth back is going to be impossible. I can’t think of any scenario where
it will be a likely outcome. Not one where we can all survive.

I am
not exactly sure how to get Mattie to accept that.

The other thing I
’ve realised is that my own childhood was incredibly lacking. I have never felt that the way I was brought up is wrong. It is just how things are done, and not just in my family, but by everyone on Oden. I never went on any family vacations, we didn’t have family dinners every night—or ever—and I never interacted with Ival unless it was for training purposes.

I don’t feel cheated by the childhood I experienced, instead I feel excited that Mattie and I can create something warm and loving for our own child. I don’t want to be like my father. I want to be different than that; I want to be there to see our child grow.

I am nervous and terrified yet also excited to see our baby. I want to see what it’ll look like, I want to see Mattie and I linked forever. I want every man on any planet to know she belongs to me.

Perhaps on Oden, if we weren’t arranged into a mating, we might feel differently about our children.
When we’re mated to another, we have children because it is expected. Having a child with someone you don’t love would never feel as magical as what I feel now with Mattie.

As the sky begins to lighten with the first sun rising, I feel a small amount
of hope. Today, Mattie will be away from this forest, away from the creatures, and out of danger for at least a short while. We can take our time planning how to get off Roth, and we’ll tackle the problem that is Oden when we get to it.

I move my fingers over Mattie’s arm, watching the goose bumps appear from my touch. Even given the fact that
we are both covered in sweat from the rising heat in the air, and the fact that we are surrounded by three other sleeping men, I can’t help wanting to rip Mattie’s clothes off to take her right here and now. She is so beautiful I constantly have to fight my urges to stop myself touching her around the others. I want to take her away and love her in every way possible for always.

I move my hands over her back, both grateful for the argu she wears and hating how much it restricts me from touching her. I move down to the base of it and feel the beginning of her pants. Glancing back at the others, I make sure
they are still all sleeping as I slip my hand under the material and feel the bare skin of her ass cheek. I give it a small squeeze, desperately wanting her to be sitting over me. Knowing she carries my child only makes me more turned on. She is mine and I am hers.

She opens her eyes, instantly staring at me. She looks dazed from sleep and it takes her a few moments to collect herself,
however the smile she gives me when she does melts my heart. She flattens herself against me, her hand that had been resting over my chest moves downwards and she places it over the bulge in my pants that grows just from her touch. She strokes me through the material as I shift my leg, separating her own legs and moving until I am against her and she moans, riding my leg. Her hand squeezes over me, and I have to bite my tongue to stop myself groaning aloud.

I open my mouth, ready to whisper to her how much I want her naked
when Kane ruins our moment. He shouts out, a nightmare still consuming him, waking the others up immediately.

I move my hand, sitting up and bringing Mattie with me.

Hank is quick to realise the danger of the situation. Kane will alert the Claws of where we are. Therefore, he rushes over to Kane, shaking his arms to wake him. It only takes him a moment to come around, and his first instinct is to punch Hank straight in the jaw. I don’t think he means to; he’s just reacted to a man leaning over him.

Hank flies back and Mattie leaves me altogether, crawling to Hank who is holding his jaw as he winces.
“Are you okay?”

He nods at her, his eyes holding no animosity.

“Sorry, man.” Kane nods his head at Hank, who nods back. I have only ever seen anger and hatred in Kane’s eyes, yet for a moment, I see that he is haunted.

“Fuck, it
’s hot today,” Hunter groans, moving through his backpack and pulling out food to eat. We haven’t had to resort to eating the weed littered throughout the forest, and if we manage to get out of the forest today, we won’t need to.

Hunter is right, though. Today the air feels dry and the heat is stifling. We only have one sun up at the moment, what happens when the second one rises?

I watch Mattie as she grabs one of her health bars and sets to work eating it. I hate to see the dark smudges under her eyes. I stretch my arms from my sitting position and wince at how stiff my back has become from lying on the hard ground. I also need to adjust myself since there is obviously no relief in sight for me. Luckily, Kane is a definite mood killer and I’m already down to half-mast.

There is a small stream close by that Hank finds when he leaves to do his business, so Mattie moves towards that for some privacy and to wash her face and hands. I keep my eyes on Kane, wary when he watches her walking away, never taking his eyes off her.
I noticed yesterday after I set the bomb off in the nest and was reunited with her that he was staring at her more than usual. I’m not sure why he’s suddenly doing this, but I don’t like it. So, as I pull out a bottle of water, I keep my eyes on him.

If he even thinks about going near her while she’s on her own,
I will kill him. I know his intentions are not good and there is darkness inside of him. He will blindly do anything for what he believes is right. In his pursuit of getting Earth back, he won’t hesitate to cross any lines.

“God
, these things taste awful,” Mattie grumbles, knocking my arm as she sits down next to me and takes the bottle of water from my hands. She drinks half of it without coming up for air and then, in the next large gulp, she finishes it.

“Thirsty?”

“The summer weather is here, I’ll always be thirsty. This is the beginning of the shittiest days here. The heat only gets worse,” she murmurs, opening the wrapper back up and attempting again to eat more of the health bar. It appears she can only eat it a couple bites at a time.

“You should finish that.”

“What exactly is this?”

“It’s a combination of everything your body needs. Technically
, you only need to eat one of those every day for your entire life and your body will be in good health.”

“You’re kidding! I’d starve if I only ate one small bar a day.”

“You humans eat everything in excess. Your stomachs are trained to expect a large amount of food on a daily basis. It’s not needed, though,” I explain, watching her tense up when I speak of humans. She quickly looks at Kane and relaxes when she sees he isn’t paying attention to us.

“So this is all you usually eat?”

“I have more because of my high level of training.”

“Does all of your food taste so bland on Oden?”

“It serves its purpose. Taste isn’t really as important.”

“But eating is meant to be enjoyable.”

“Not on Oden.” I smile at her look of confusion.

“So you didn’t enjoy eating any of the food on Earth?”

“I found it odd.”

“I definitely find this stuff odd. Well
, actually gross. I find this stuff horrible.” She pulls a face at the health bar before she places the last small piece of it in her mouth.

“Your foods are altered with chemicals and other strange things
, all in the name of taste, but what you’re putting into your bodies affects your insides. Your stomachs must be made of steel.” I recall the poison called alcohol that humans drink regularly for recreational purposes.

“It’s not just about taste; some of it is about preserving the foods so they last longer.”
I stare at her for a moment, considering her opinion, but she must think I don’t believe her because she rolls her eyes at me. “Fine, it’s mostly about the taste. We love our things salty or sugary. And right now, I would probably kill for some chips, a burger and a shake. Oh, no, what happens when I get cravings?”

“Cravings?” I feel completely out of depth.

“Yeah, everyone knows pregnant women get weird cravings. Like wanting peanut butter with pickles, or potato chips dipped in ice cream.”

I stare at her again, concerned about what these cravings mean. “What happens if you don’t quench these cravings?”

“I don’t know. My dad told me once that Mum made him sleep on the couch for a week because she woke up at two in the morning and wanted chocolate. Dad refused to drive the hour to the store open all night to get it for her, so she flipped out and didn’t talk to him for a week.”

“Is that what you’ll do if I don’t manage to get you chips, a burger and shake you?” I try to keep in a smile, unsure if this is meant to be serious or not.

She laughs. “I don’t want you to shake me. A shake is a milkshake, which is a drink. And honestly, I doubt I’ll make you sleep on the couch. For one thing, we’re on a planet with no fast food joint, so I can’t really hold it against you that you can’t buy me a meal. Secondly, we don’t have a couch for me to kick you out on. Take me back to Earth, get me a house with a couch, and then I’ll reconsider.”

She’s smiling, so I take it that she’s joking around. I smile back, happy to see
she has finished her health bar. I then drink more water from a new bottle and eat some dried fruit that was found on the spaceship.

We all drain our water bottles empty and refill them up at the small stream. This is the first sign of water
we have found here since we entered yesterday and quite possibly the last time we will have access to it.

I recall from the map I saw before arriving here that there is a large river that runs through most of this forest
. I just have no idea where we are in relation to it.

We trek towards where we believe the nest we found yesterday had been, but I begin to fear
we have gotten completely turned around.

The heat gets worse and the trees scattered around us only offer a small amount of shade. Even in the shade
, you can’t escape the hot air.

When a loud banging noise goes off in the distance
, we all stop and glance at each other.

In this heat and with how flammable those nests are, we might not have a lot of time before fire consumes this forest.

“At least they’re still out there fighting,” Kane mutters.

“If they start a fire from the explosion, you won’t exactly have to be a rocket scientist to
comprehend what is going on. They’ll get out,” Hank says, sounding more like he’s trying to convince himself than us.

It’s true that
, when the explosion happens, a fire is likely to start. Because of the dry heat, the chances are the fire will catch on quickly. There is very little wind blowing, but even so, the chances of them outrunning a fire are unlikely. The same goes for us if we are faced with one.

“There is someone over there
.” Hunter points towards a tree, an arm resting to the side of it, the rest of the man’s body blocked by the trunk. I imagine the man is sleeping against the tree.

“Are you al
l right?” Hank calls out, moving quickly forward.

Mattie takes a step towards him
, too, but I quickly reach out and stop her, standing us back and watching Hank round the tree.

“What is it?”
she asks me distractedly.

“Something feels wrong.”
I don’t know what it is, however a bad feeling just creeps up my spine. A feeling of being watched and trapped enters my mind as I glance around us in every direction, trying to figure out what I am missing.

“It’s just an arm
,” Hank calls back, Kane and Hunter moving next to him. “There are more body parts over there.” Hank grimaces, covering his mouth with his hand. “Fuck, there’s two heads there.”

“Three!” Kane growls furiously.

This is one of the teams, one which has been massacred by the Claws.