Royce (11 page)

“What is it about her?  Tell me Royce, other than the obvious?”  Or another time, “Hasn’t the newness worn off man, let the rest of us experience what you have?”  Or, “She’s just another woman at The Club man, why are you holding her to yourself, it just doesn’t make sense?” 

He heard them and he ignored them, for Joy he would ignore them forever if he had too. 

Tonight was another party and knowing he was seeing her made all the torment worth it.  Joy is what mattered, having her is what mattered.  He lathered the shaving cream on his warm face, if Tammy noticed the sparkle in his eye she didn’t show it and she didn’t she thought he was being stubborn when it came to Joy.  That he didn’t want to be pushed around by her or anyone and she could respect that in him.  He’d always been like that; he could dig his heels in and take a stance.  When she’d fallen in love with him all those years ago she studied the man, observed him and knew him inside and out.  She’d done that to get him and she knew this part of him, and because she loved him so much she let him get away with it.  Royce was hers no matter what even if he was being obstinate when it came to dealing with Joy Abrams.

Royce shaved extra close, he didn’t want any beard burns on Joy, she was too beautiful for him to mar her skin.  He heard Tammy in her closet,
she’d better not bother me tonight
, he thought.  She’d been on him all week about telling Joy and he’d finally shut her out, given her the cold shoulder, he was done with them, all of them.

They arrived at the party and thankfully Joy was late.  She usually arrived close to midnight and he liked that, the less she heard the less she noticed, but the women were all over him tonight.

“Come on Jeremy, it’s been so long,” Dirty Diana said pulling his arm and up close to his ear, and Ginger Goddess stood at his back her body pressed up against his,

“Hello stranger,” she said, “What say you and I tonight,” and all the flattery and compliments didn’t sway him.  He laughed and pretended to go along, all the while watching the door, and then Joy and Michael walked in.  Joy was wearing her red silk dress tonight and she was a sexy vision as she and Michael walked into the party.  Patty made her announcement,
just in the nick of time Joy
, he thought.  Gina Spot went to Michael and led him away.

He headed towards Joy and strong hands held him back, the women and men were holding him, tightly holding him everywhere, pulling his arms, holding him tight around his waist, pinning him to them, pulling him back.  Bobby and Collin put their hands on Joy’s shoulder to stop her, she looked shocked.

“Not tonight, there’s going to be some changes tonight,” Bobby said, “You two have to make a different choice tonight if you’re to stay in The Club.”

“Who decided this?”  Royce asked angrily,

“We did, it’s a club man,” Bobby said, “You can get voted out.”

“Enough of this!”  He said and tried to pull away, but he was gripped tighter and Bobby and Collin gripped Joy’s arms to hold her where she stood.

“I’ll be with Ms. Sedona tonight and you make your choice from our other fine selections,” Collin said.  Royce saw him take Joy’s hand and he saw the fear in her eyes.  He knew she didn’t know what was going on, he did, but she was blindsided by this.  Collin started to turn and take Joy with him.  They were holding him tight, he couldn’t break free.  

“No, no!”  He cried out, “Nooooo!”  Royce fell to his knees in despair; the many hands let him go then.  He took off his mask.

“Joooyyyy!”  He screamed, “I love you! No Joy, no!”  He cried out his heart wrenching anguished plea heard loud and clear throughout the room.  Joy looked at him and he could see the tears in her eyes,

“Oh my god,” she said as her hand went to her mouth.

“No Joy, don’t go.  Please don’t go, I love you, I love you,” he pleaded and Tammy screamed, “What?  Oh my god, no!” 

Michael turned at the sound of someone crying out Joy’s name his hurt and anguish resonating in his plea; he ran back and took one look at Joy.

“What’s going on here?  What are you doing with my wife?”  He said looking at Bobby and Collin.  Tammy was crying, her face horror stricken.  Royce was on his knees tears rolling down his face, and Michael heard him pleading, “I love you Joy, I love you, don’t go,” and Michael lost it, “What the…?”  He went towards Royce, people around him grabbed him.

“Stay the hell away from my wife!”  He yelled at Royce.  He went to Joy and took her from Collin’s grip.  He grabbed her hand and briskly led her out the front door, and Tammy was crying and grabbing Royce by his jacket collar,

“What are you saying?  What are you saying?”  She cried and demanded as she shook him by the collar.  The party erupted and everyone was shouting and yelling at him.

“What have you done?”  “You should have gone to someone else!” 

Royce stood up, his tears flowing now.  He didn’t hear them, it was loud useless chatter to him.  Joy was gone; he walked slowly towards the door.  Doug was the last person he saw who was angry as he walked to the door.  “Why Royce, why?”  He was saying and Royce heard him but he didn’t answer.  When he went out the front door he saw Joy and Michael’s car speeding down the driveway.  He handed his ticket to the valet and waited for his car, Tammy was beside him crying, her arms wrapped around her, her head down balling her eyes out.  Others came out, Bobby and Sarah and other couples, all with questions and shock on their faces, no one said anything.  Tammy’s crying was the only sound. 

The valets rushed to get the cars and his was the first to arrive thank god, he went to his car.  He took one last look at Bobby who was staring at him like he didn’t know what just happened in there, his face registering his questions.  Royce’s eyes were red from both crying and trying not to cry.  He got in his car and drove away.

“What the hell happened in there Joy?”  Michael said angrily as he sped down the driveway, “Why is another man saying he loves my wife?”  Joy was crying hard, her shoulders heaving, how could Royce do that to her, how could he out her identity like that?  Ruin her is what she was thinking, ruin her like that, just like Marcus she thought, just like Marcus!  She cried hard. 

Michael looked at her, he was angry; what happened, what had she done?  This was not supposed to turn out this way, this was a game everyone involved knew that.  He watched her crying uncontrollably, he let her cry and then he said softer.

“Don’t cry Joy, talk to me tell me what he did to you?”  And his first thought was,
he should have known something like this would happen,
this kind of stuff wasn’t in Joy’s nature.  He led them down this path, he wanted more business and he decided to let the white men have her and now look what happened, one of them had fallen in love with her.  How in the hell did that happen?  And the shock of all shocks it was Royce Harrington, the one he’d least expect.  The man was cool, confident, arrogant and had an air of long time wealth and entitlement about him, how did he happen to fall in love with Joy?

He pulled over to the side of the road, he was still wearing his mask, he took it off now and tossed it in the back seat.  Joy’s red feathered mask was resting on the top of her head, he took it off and tossed it in the backseat too. “Come here love,” he undid his seat belt and reached around her and unbuckled hers, “Joy, it’s okay Joy,” he said and pulled her in his arms and held her as she cried and cried.  He’d never seen her cry so hard, “Don’t cry baby,” he soothed her, “Don’t cry, it’s okay,” even though he knew it wasn’t.  He didn’t know what the fallout from this would be,
you should have never drug her into this, she’d not strong enough for games like this,
“It’s okay Joy,” a car passed them and he saw it was Royce’s but the windows were too dark to see inside, he felt himself tense up, what the hell happened? 

And if he could see inside he would have seen two broken people driving by.  Tammy was crying just as hard as Joy, her heart was broken.  Her husband had just confessed his love for another woman in the presence of all their friends, and Royce was wiping away tears because he knew he’d just lost Joy.  When they passed Michael and Joy on the side of the road he too tried to look inside but it was too dark so he had no idea what was going on in that car and his heart lurched and buckled and quivered at the thought of what Michael could be saying to Joy, he’d been so angry, “What are you doing with my wife?”  He remembered him saying, but as he passed another car behind him headlights shined bright and he looked back through his rearview mirror and into their windshield and he saw Michael holding Joy.  Joy was crying and his heart broke, his tears fell hard as he let out a sob. 

Michael saw other cars pass as he held Joy and tried to soothe her, “Baby don’t cry, don’t cry,” and finally Joy quieted enough for him to drive home.

When they arrived home Michael put Joy straight to bed, she was so distraught and miserable.  He dismissed the babysitter and fixed himself a stiff drink. “What the hell happened?”  He asked himself, “How did it get to this?”  And he thought of Joy, Royce Harrington was in love with her and he’d unmasked himself to reveal it, he remembered his torn anguished expression and his tears, “What happened?”  He wondered, but Joy he should have known, he shook his head, sat down and took a big swig of his drink and rested his head on the back of the sofa.  She was so innocent, she was a little fish in a big pond and the water was dangerous, “You shouldn’t have done it Michael, you should have never put her in this situation, she’s not like you, you knew this was a game,”
and you had fun
was in the back of his mind, he’d taken so many women since they’d joined The Club
. 

He liked two or three in a night, or two at a time.  He’d go willingly to the first session but he had no intention of staying with one woman all night.  He had a woman for that, he had Joy if he wanted one woman all night, so he’d do a session, maybe two if she were fun, then when the bell towed he was dressing and heading out the door.  He was like a hunter looking for prey, he usually found someone, especially in the orgy room.  Sometimes he’d take two from there and find a spot and have at it.  He liked to strap on a dildo and fuck either one lady in both places or two ladies at the same time, he laughed a little at some of the positions they got into make that work, some of them were pretty interesting.  He always wore a condom and the ladies were willing and it was fun but it wasn’t love, it was sex, no one was thinking of falling in love with him and he wasn’t thinking of falling in love with them.  He loved Joy, he had Joy for love, so what happened with Joy?  Why was Royce Harrington crying and in love with her, what did you do to him Joy?  And all the while the thought that nagged him,
you shouldn’t have put her in this situation, it’s just as much your fault as it is hers, you shouldn’t have let the white men have her.

He’d have to get some answers tomorrow she was too distraught tonight.

Joy lay in bed, she couldn’t sleep.  Royce had called to her, said her name, unmasked himself in front of everyone and told them who she was.  He’d ruined her just like Marcus.  Why were men like that?  He’d ruined her and now she couldn’t show her face around here anymore.  She cried, cried hard,
he loves you
popped in her mind. 
No, no he can't love me.  He was just saying that.... You saw his face,
and a picture of Royce on his knees his mask in his hands, his blue eyes wet and crying and his words, “No, don’t go Joy I love you,” and her heart broke and she cried, “I told him not too, I thought he understood we couldn’t be in love. I told him to stop playing around like that,” she scolded herself.

What must Michael think, what have I done to Michael? 
She cried. 
What happened in there tonight?  Were they going to force her to go to another man, why?  Was Tammy upset with Royce only being with her?  Oh my God, Tammy!   She thinks I’m after Royce, oh my God! 
She cried harder.  She wasn’t after another woman’s husband.
Oh my God that’s why this happened Tammy thinks I want her husband!
She cried she’d never meant to hurt another woman. 
Royce what have you done, what have we done?
  And she thought of Royce. 
Oh Royce, you were so sweet, so loving, so kind to me and when you took me to bed you thrilled me beyond words. I didn’t mean to lead you on, I didn’t mean to, I was having fun, I thought you knew that. Oh God, I hurt Royce, I hurt Royce,
and her heart broke. 

She’d never meant to hurt him, he was her fantasy, he’d lived up to her fantasy, he took her to the highest high, he had been fun.  They’d had so much fun in bed, she’d never known sex could be so much fun,
and you loved it and you loved being with him
, sprang from her subconscious,
yes, but I thought we were supposed to enjoy our choice, our partner. I didn’t think it was anything more, it was for The Club
. 
We weren’t supposed to love each other,
she reinforced to herself,
but he didn’t know,
she thought.  Royce again appeared before her eyes on his knees crying for her, “Oh Royce,” her heart ached for him, just ached, “Oh Royce, oh Royce, I didn’t mean to hurt you,” and somewhere she finally fell asleep, her face wet with tears.

Royce drove home, Tammy’s tears accompanied his own, he drove slowly his vision blurred from his tears.  He dismissed the babysitter and went to their room.  Tammy was already there lying in a fetal position crying.

“I’m sorry Tammy, I’m sorry it turned out like this,” he said and he didn’t know what to do with himself.  He wanted to be with Joy, but Joy was with her husband and Michael was being a good husband, he was holding Joy.  He took off his shoes and climbed in behind Tammy, he put his arms around her and they cried together.  He was crying for Joy, he’d lost Joy is the only thought that went through his mind, had been since he saw Michael taking her out the front door, he’d lost Joy. 

Tammy cried at the damage to her marriage and that Royce, the man she’d loved since she was nineteen was in love with another woman.  Somewhere in the night they climbed under the cover and went to sleep.

The next day it was quiet in one house, Tammy and Royce’s.  She didn’t want to hear him say it again, she didn’t want to hear him say he loved Joy Abrams ever again and in Michael and Joy’s house he couldn’t wait any longer.  He had to know what happened between her and Royce Harrington,

“We need to talk Joy,” he said right after breakfast.

“I know Michael, I know.” 

He asked the kids what movie they wanted to see and he went to Blockbuster and rented it.  Joy popped each a bowl of popcorn and instructed them not to bother them until the movie went off and Michael followed her to their bedroom.  Joy started to cry as she made that walk from the kitchen to their bedroom.  She sat on the bed and Michael sat next to her.

“Tell me what happened in there Joy.  Why was Royce Harrington…,” and he paused he saw her wipe a tear, and the thought just hit him,
did Joy love Royce too?  
Joy heard Royce’s name and her heart hurt that she’d hurt him.

“Okay,” she said, she knew where Michael was going, he didn’t have to spell it out for her, “I know, I don’t know how it turned out like this; I thought we were doing what everyone else was doing.  I didn’t know going to him was going to cause a problem,” she said.

“Oh it was him, well why didn’t you stop going to him and go to someone else if being with him was a problem?”  He asked softly.

“It wasn’t a problem, and I didn’t want to go to anyone else, he was the one I chose to go to.”

“What do you mean?  I’m at a lost,” Michael said, “If he was a problem why didn’t you stop going to him?”  He asked again confused.

She looked at him, “I only went to him, I didn’t know it would cause a problem if I only went to him.  He was the only one I knew,” she said.

“Wait, are you telling me for months now, that since we’ve joined The Club you’ve only been with Royce Harrington?”  And Joy shied away, why was that a problem?  She didn’t understand.  But she answered, “Yes, it was okay, he was fun, and I…”

“And you what?”

“I enjoyed being with him,” Michael blew out his breath, he was trying to understand what Joy was saying.  While he was screwing every woman that moved she was only with Royce, he ran his hands through his hair.

“Why would you only go to him?  It’s crazy Joy, to be in a sex club and only be with one person?”  He asked he didn’t understand it.

“Well I was comfortable with him, he made me feel…safe,” she said and Michael knew it was his fault; she couldn’t play the game,

“And apparently he was okay with it too?”

“Yes,”

“Oh Joy why didn’t you tell me you didn’t want to do this?  I mean we could have quit a long time ago, you didn’t just have to be with him if you were uncomfortable?”  He caressed her face, “I would have never kept going if I knew you weren’t into The Club,” his frustration clear, “So now I know why he thinks he fell in love with you.  He thinks it was more than what it was since you only went to him,” he said shaking his head and he put his face in his hands, “I understand now okay. I don’t know what will come of this,” he said.  He took her in his arms, “But we’ll work it out, okay, we’ll work it out,” he said and kissed her.

Joy smiled at him, he wasn’t mad, that made her happy, but hurting Royce still hurt her, but Michael understood she didn’t mean to hurt anyone and now she guessed it was crazy for her to go to only one man.  Now that she sees the consequences, it was her fault Royce got hurt, but she thought he understood too,
but Royce I enjoyed you so much,
she thought. 

Michael never asked if she loved Royce, once she said she’d only gone to him because she felt safe he thought he understood what happened.  Royce took it too far; Royce thought her only coming to him meant more than it did.  They could handle this, they could work this out, Joy was still his, he didn’t lose Joy.

Royce had to get out of the house.  He left that morning while Tammy refused to meet his eyes, “I’m going for a drive, I need some air,” he said and he hopped in his steel blue Mercedes and drove off.  He went straight by Joy’s house, he had to see if anything was going on, all was quiet, he didn’t see anything except the tell-tale signs they were up, the garage door was up, the porch lights were off, but that was it.  He decided to drive the back roads, back where Doug and Patty lived.  With all the couples leaving when they did last night he knew the party was a bust and he knew he was never going back there, his club days were over.  Before Joy walked through that door he’d wanted to quit and now he had, in a big way.  He chuckled to himself,
man that was wild last night
, he thought and
she’ll never speak to me again. I ruined it with her.
  He found he wasn’t all cried out, he wiped tears. 
How could it have gotten so out of control?
”  And he knew it was Collin and Bobby.  They’d put everyone up to acting like a vigilante mob, acting like they had to force their way on him and Joy.  Why couldn’t they leave them alone?  Everything was going fine, so Joy didn’t want them sexually, what was wrong with that?  Nothing in his opinion!  They acted like spoiled little boys wanting what they couldn’t have and now he and Joy paid the price,
and Tammy,
came to his mind.

Tammy is so upset she couldn’t even look at him, and he’d never meant to hurt her, he wasn’t going to leave her for Joy.  At least he wasn’t planning to leave her for Joy, but he knew if Joy had asked him to leave Tammy he would have, if Joy had said, “I’ll leave Michael and we can be together,” he would have went straight to Tammy and said, “It’s over,” but he’d never thought of the possibility because he knew Joy wasn’t contemplating leaving Michael.  She even chastised him when he said he loved her, “Stop it Royce we can’t go there you know that!”  He was just happy to have her the way it was, just knowing he was seeing her at The Club had been almost enough for him.  He wanted more but he knew he couldn’t have it, and now Bobby and Collin got in the way.  He gripped the steering wheel.  Why couldn’t they just leave well enough alone? 

He drove further and then he found himself heading to the office and that’s where he went and spent the next few hours, it relieved him to have something to do and it was Saturday so no one was there but him and he didn’t have the typical office interruptions, or jarring ringing of the phones, it was just him, his work and his thoughts all day.

When he went home the first thing Tammy said was, “Where were you?” 

“Work why?” And he thought
did she think I was with Joy? 
He could only hope.  Then she said, “Bobby called, he wants you to call him when you come in.”

“Fuck him,” Bobby had ruined his life and he’d never forgive him for that, after all they’d been through he never thought his friend would treat him like he did last night, like he was a stray calf that needed bringing in line, and he was the one going to do it.  He didn’t need him or anyone butting in his life. 

And later that night when they were ready for bed Tammy was finally able to talk to him.  She sat propped up on the pillows against the headboard, her eyes wet and sad as she looked at him, “Why Royce, why her?” 

Could he tell her the truth, that Joy touched something in him he’d never felt before, not for her, not for anyone and that he wanted to be with her, that his heart ached for her, that his whole being was in love with her, that he felt alive with her, that all he wanted was to be in her presence and to see her smile.  He took one look at Tammy and decided against it,

“I can’t explain it Tammy. I was with her and I got to know her and I fell for her, that’s the only way I can explain it,” he said.

Tammy looked at him, her sad eyes questioning, “Do you want to be with her?”

“No Tammy, it was never like that,” he said, “You and the kids mean more to me than that,” now he thought all he could do was repair his marriage.  She smiled,

“What are we going to do Royce…People are going to talk you know that,” she said,