Ruby (27 page)

That afternoon she climbed the stairs to check on Cimarron. “I brought you some tea.”

“Thanks.” The woman on the pallet didn’t even roll over but kept staring at the wall.

“I’m going to sit here until you drink it with me.”

Cimarron pushed herself into a sitting position. She ignored the lanks of hair that fell forward and covered her face.

Even so, Ruby could tell the bruises had turned to yellow and Cimarron was breathing more easily. She hadn’t winced at the movement. Ruby handed Cimarron the steaming cup and sat cross-legged on the floor in front of her. “Amazing how a cup of tea makes one feel better.”
Oh, Cimarron, come out of this
.

Though Cimarron sipped her tea, she didn’t answer.

Ruby cast around for something else to say, but nothing came to mind. Good manners or no, what do you say in this intolerable situation?

“Has Cat been up to visit you?”

Cimarron nodded. “With Opal.”

“She does follow Opal around. She’s never had a pet before. What kinds of pets did you have?”

Cimarron gave a slight shake of the head.

“We miss you downstairs.”

The shrug would have been easy to miss if Ruby hadn’t been watching so carefully.

“I think it time you come down for supper.” Ruby ignored the fright that emanated in waves from the woman on the pallet. “Cimarron, I won’t take no for an answer. You can come after the guests have left—so far we only have two or three—and then we will have supper together. Do you need help getting down the stairs?”

Another quick shake of the head.

“If you would like a bath, I know Charlie would gladly haul the water up here, but it would be easier on everyone if you took it in the pantry.”

“No bath.”

Ruby stood and reached for the cup, laying her hand on Cimarron’s head. She closed her eyes when Cimarron flinched slightly. Those men should be . . . Instead of finishing the thought, she took the empty cup from the woman’s limp hands. “I’ll see you tonight.” She watched a moment, hoping for some sign of the former woman, but when none came, she left the room, heaving a sigh as she started down the stairs.
What can I do? What can any of us do?

When they were all ready to eat and they’d heard nothing from Cimarron, Ruby sighed again. “You go remind her to come down,” she told Opal.

But when Opal returned shaking her head, Ruby just nodded. They’d keep working every day until Cimarron would come down.

“Let’s eat.”

“ ’Bout time she gets on down here.” Belle slathered butter on her bread, studiously ignoring the look Ruby sent her.

CHAPTER THIRTY-THREE

“You did what?” Beans stared at Rand as if he’d sprouted buffalo horns.

“I asked her to marry me, and she blew up like a howitzer.” Rand waved his arms in the air. “You can close your mouth now before a whole flock of mosquitoes flies down your throat.”

“You been with the cows too long. Even I know that women want to be courted.” Beans slammed the frying pan down on the stove. “You being from the South and all, I didn’t figure I’d have to give you instructions.”

“St. Louis is not the true South.”
Fool old man. Wouldn’ta told you had I thought you’d get all het up like this
. Who’d she think she was anyway? Most likely sweet on McHenry. He stepped back outside so he wouldn’t have to listen to Beans muttering and leaned against the porch post.

Guess I better look elsewhere. Maybe I should write to my sister. She could most likely find me a woman back there
.

He wandered down to the corral where the horses were settling down for the night. Gazing out across the river, he could just see the outline of the buttes in the dusk. Overhead, the sky ranged from cobalt dotted with stars in the east, to the brilliant azure of just-past sunset. The evening star hung halfway to darkness. Frogs croaked from the cattails in the little marsh where the creek took up with the river. The lonesome notes of a mouth organ said that Chaps was killing time before supper.

Buck ambled over and nudged his arm.

Rand rubbed his dark furred ears. “She turned me down, Buck. But then you got an earful on the way home. Sad thing is . . . well maybe not sad . . . but you should have seen her. Pretty don’t begin to cover it. She was magnificent. Daddy always said find a woman with spirit and your life will never be boring. I do indeed think I found me one.”

After another night of fragmented sleep, Ruby was beginning to wonder if she would ever sleep well again. She did her best to be civil to everyone, but they failed to offer her the same consideration. Milly snapped at Opal, Daisy snapped at Milly, and Ruby wished they would all take a long walk in the rain that was coming down in sheets. But most of all, she wished Cimarron would make her way down those stairs.

When Charlie walked in from his trip to Dickinson, she sent him off to get into dry clothes before he could report on his trip. He shook his head and returned with his bowler brushed off and his short wool coat on a wooden hanger so he could hang it behind the stove to dry properly.

“What all has gone on here since I left?”

All four shook their heads.

Charlie dug in his vest pocket and pulled out a packet he handed to Opal. “This should sweeten things up around here.”

Opal thanked him and handed around lemon drops before setting the remainder in a dish on the table.

“I’ll take Cimarron one when I take up her tea.” Ruby smiled at Charlie. “So you had a good trip?”

“Davis at the bank said yes to your arrangements, and Rums-ford said not to worry, things will turn around soon, but that you could help that by serving liquor again.”

Ruby huffed a sigh. “I’m taking the tea up, but perhaps Cimarron will come down tonight.” As she climbed the stairs, she could hear a raised voice—Belle’s voice—the words becoming clearer the higher she climbed.

“Why in thunder did you resist? You been selling it for years. What was one more time? You’ve given free ones before too. Look at you. It’s all your own fault. You know the rules. Whores get hurt. It happens all the time, and no one gives no nevermind. You’re just lucky they didn’t kill you.”

Ruby stopped only long enough to see through her rage and stormed into the room. She grabbed a startled Belle by the arm and marched her out the door. “And don’t come back.” She added an extra shove, wishing she could send Belle head over heels down the stairs. What kind of female viper had she kept under her roof?

Picking up the cups of tea she’d had the control to set beside the doorway instead of throwing, she returned to the room to find Cimarron sobbing into her blankets.

“Hush now, honey, you’ll be all right.”

“She’s right, you know.”

“No, she’s not.” Ruby gathered Cimarron into her arms and rocked her as she would a child. “You did nothing to provoke that attack.”

“But if I hadn’t fought them I . . . I was so stupid. I was just beginning to think I really could have a different life, that I could have something more than one man after another. But it’ll never be any different.”

“Cimarron, oh, dear Cimarron . . .” Ruby stroked the stringy hair back from the woman’s eyes and face, gently rocking all the while. “You are wrong there. You will heal. You already are, and you have a home here for as long as you want. You are beautiful and—”

“I wish I was ugly as sin.”

“It’s not you. It’s men who can’t control themselves.”
Belle, how could you do such a thing? I thought Cimarron was your friend. Lord, I cannot handle all this
.

“Here.” Ruby picked up the cup of tea from where she’d set it on the floor. “Drink this and you will feel better.”
A cup of tea is all I have to offer her? I should have some answers
.

Cimarron rubbed her eyes with the sheet and took the tea, clasping both hands around the cup. “I’m so c-cold.”

Ruby reached over and pulled the blanket free to wrap it around her shoulders. “Come down by the stove, and let us all take care of you.”

“I can’t.”

“I’ll help you.”

Cimarron shook her head and kept on shaking it. “Not today.”

“All right, then, tomorrow. If you don’t come down of your own accord, we will come up and get you. We love you, Cimarron, and we miss you dreadfully.”

Cimarron’s look of disbelief stayed with Ruby as she descended the stairs. She stopped on the second floor and turned down the hall to Belle’s room.

Pushing open the door without knocking, she caught Belle lighting a new cigarillo. “Out!” Ruby pointed at the door. “Get out now!”

“You can’t throw me out. I paid my rent.”

“I’ll give it back. Anyone who would treat a friend like you did Cimarron is not fit to be around the rest of us.” Ruby grabbed the fancy garments tossed across the door of the open armoire and threw them out in the hall.

Belle’s scream made Ruby’s ears ring. “You’ll ruin my clothes. Stop that! You think you know everything. No, give that back. You . . .” The string of vile names rolled off Ruby as if she were waxed.

“What is going on?” Charlie burst through the door, tripping over a froth of petticoats that clogged the entrance. He caught himself with a hand on the wall. “Miss Ruby, what’s got into you?”

Ruby stopped scooping up another armload of clothes and let those in her hands drift to the floor.

“She’s gone crazy!” Belle snatched back her garments.

“What did you do?” Charlie turned on Belle.

“She . . . she was cruel, mean, and vicious to Cimarron. No one should ever treat a friend like that.”

“Huh.” Belle looked to Charlie. “She just don’t understand. I did it for her own good.” She took a drag on her cigarillo. “Cimarron’s got to get back on her feet.”

“Her own good?” Ruby took two steps forward, her hands coming up like claws.

Charlie stepped between them. “You don’t want to do that, Miss Ruby.” His voice sneaked gently past Ruby’s haze of red.

She spun on her heel and strode out of the room.
Where can I go? Upstairs is Cimarron. Downstairs, all the others. Where can I go?
She felt like shrieking the last.
God, where can I go?

Dry-eyed, she turned left instead of right and slipped into the empty room at the end of the hall where she and Opal had stayed when they first came to Dove House. Hot, as if she had a stove burning within her, she crossed to the window and threw up the sash. Wind and rain blew in, and she fell on her knees at the windowsill.

Within minutes the rain had soaked her fire out, and she shivered in her wet clothing. Rising, she shut the window and began pacing, her arms wrapped around her for warmth.

“I cannot stay, but I cannot leave. What kind of mess am I in?”
Not one of my own choosing, that’s for sure. Why? Why did Far do this to us? Did he hate us? He said he loved us. What kind of love is it that saddles your daughter with something like this?
The window darkened and still she paced, her clothes now dry from the heat of her body.
How could I? Why did you?
The questions with no answers swirled, kicked up by the winds of rage as the falling leaves whirled from the trees, driven by wind they could not see but could not withstand.

When she finally ceased her ranting, she could hear again.
Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest
.

“But I need more than rest.”

I will shelter you under my wings. Come. I will hold you in the palm of my hand. Come
.

A knock came at the door. “Ruby, are you in there?”

“Yes.”

“Can I come in?”

“No.”
Opal, I cannot deal with even you right now
.

“Ruby, please.”

“Oh.” Ruby growled to herself, started to say no again and instead went to the door. “Opal, I just need to be alone for a while. You needn’t worry about me, all right?”

“Can I bring you some supper?”

“No.”

“Cimarron came down for supper.”

“Oh. Good. I’ll be down later.”

“Promise?”

“Opal, I said I would.” Ruby resumed her pacing, listening for the voice again. All she heard was the rain against the windows. “I don’t deserve to come to you. I’ve managed to wound nearly everyone here. And the way I flew at Mr. Harrison. He’d done nothing wrong.”

I love you
.

“I don’t deserve it.”

You are mine. I have redeemed you
.

A knock at the door sometime later brought her up short. She’d promised Opal she’d go down, and even without a clock, she knew a long time had passed.

“Yes.”

“It’s Daisy and Milly. Can we come sit with you?We promise not to say anything.”

Ruby rubbed her eyes that had leaked and dried so often they felt like grit from a sandstorm had taken up residence. Along with a raging thirst.

“You may come in.” They filed in and sat down on the floor by the wall.

“Where’s Opal?”

“Gone to bed.” Milly waited before answering, looking to Ruby until she received a nod.

“Already?”
I broke a promise to Opal. Can’t I do anything right?

“Yes, she was sad,” Daisy answered.

“And crying,” Milly added, just in time to receive a poke in the ribs from Daisy.

“I am so thirsty.” Ruby could hardly clear her throat.

“I’ll be right back.” Milly rose and scampered out the door, leaving Daisy to sit quietly.

“What are you doing?” Ruby stopped from her pacing.

“Praying.”

“Praying? For what?”

“For you and for Cimarron and Belle.”

“Oh. Thank you.” The young woman sat so quietly that Ruby grew uncomfortable pacing and perched on the edge of the bed.

“I’m not sure I believe in praying anymore.” The words scratched her throat. The thoughts did the same for her mind.
And yet you spoke to me. I know it was you. So you are there. Why do I doubt so? I used to believe
.

“You said I should read the Bible because it is God’s word letting us know how much He loves us.” Daisy moved slightly so she could look Ruby in the face. “You said that, and I believed you.”

Ruby thought all her tears had dried up, but she was mistaken. They surged again at Daisy’s simple words of faith.

Milly came through the door carrying a glass of water and handed it to Ruby. “Charlie said you should sleep in here.”

“I can’t do that to Opal.”

“I’ll go get her.” Milly started out the door but stopped. “And your nightdress.”

Sleeping in a real bed with Opal lightly breathing beside her calmed Ruby, but still she woke often, plagued by nightmares and a thirst that wouldn’t be quenched.
I give up, Lord
. That thought burst into her mind even before she opened her eyes.
I just give up. I don’t care what happens next. I give up
.

The next afternoon Cimarron came down after dinner and took up her sewing in the window as if she’d never been gone. Except that she neither smiled nor talked. Ruby and Daisy were chopping, cooking, and bottling the last of the garden vegetables for relish when Daisy asked a question.

“Ruby, why have you stayed here?”

Ruby paused in stirring. The starting reason of the inheritance or . . . She forced herself to say the real reason. “Because my father made me promise to take care of the girls. And Opal wouldn’t let me go back on a promise.”

“Even when your father died?”

“Yes.”

“Why did you let us stay? Most women turn the other way.”

“It started as the promise, but later it was because Dove House is my home and you became like my sisters. I never had sisters my own age. We were sisters all along, I just never realized it.” Ruby looked over at Cimarron. “But I failed in my promise to take care of you.”

Cimarron looked up from her stitching. “You think this was your fault? What kind of crazy thinking is that? You don’t . . . you can’t rule the world no matter what kind of promises you make.”

Ruby watched the relish bubble in the kettle. The scents of vinegar, mustard, celery seeds, and other spices floated around them, weaving them all together in spite of what had happened.

“Milly is going to read now,” Opal announced. “She’s been practicing.”

“Good,” Daisy said as she set the pan with clean jars ready for the relish on the stove.

“Jesus is talking. ‘The blind receive their sight, and the lame walk, the lepers are cleansed, and the deaf hear . . .’ You think He still does all that?”

Ruby nodded.
I was the blind one. Lord, you have indeed opened my eyes. I’m sorry, I’m so sorry
.

Cimarron snorted. “Well, if we’re looking for someone who was lame, I guess that’s me.”

“But you don’t even limp anymore.” Opal glanced over her shoulder from where she was sitting, following the words over Milly’s shoulder.