RUIN (The RUIN Series Book 1) (4 page)

"I thought you were going to take me to the hotel." I hold steady to his arm as he guides me into an apartment with a Park Avenue address. "You live here, don't you?"

"Yes," he quietly acquiesces. "That hotel is a shit hole. I won't stay there."

The words bite although they shouldn’t. This is the place he raced to after he'd fucked me that night weeks ago. He'd left me there because I was a random that wasn't worthy of this.

I stay silent as he flips on the light switch. The room fills with warm light giving me my first glimpse into his real world. The space is opulent and masculine. Rich dark furniture sets the tone. Beautiful artwork hangs from the walls, which are painted a deep shade of gray. It matches what I imagined it to be to a tee.

"What did Noah say when you called him?" His hand is pressing on my lower back, guiding me further into the space.

I'm surprised by his restraint. He'd stood just feet away from me near the entrance to the hospital as I called Alexa. She hadn't answered so I left a brief voicemail telling her that I was out for the night but would be home after work tomorrow. Ben's insistence that he call my boss, Vivian, in the morning directly to explain what happened quashed my fears about my job. He'd explain my injuries and my need for rest. I'd be back at the office the day after tomorrow, no worse for wear.

"I didn't speak to him." I run my hand across my forehead. "How long do I have to wear this bandage?"

"Did you talk… did you talk to his fiancé?" He clears his throat. "Alexa, right?"

I nod slowly. Watching his mouth move as her names leaves his lips seems foreign to me. "I left her a message."

"You need to rest." His hand circles my waist. "I can help you undress and get into bed."

I feel exposed at the mention of getting undressed. "I can do it myself."

"No." His hand motions towards a hallway. "I'll help."

I don't argue the point. It's not as though he hasn't seen me nude before. Besides that, he's a doctor. Christ, he's a fucking doctor and Noah's brother. I still can't fathom how I went from sitting next to a stranger on a flight to standing in the apartment of Noah's twin waiting for him to undress me.

"How long have you known him?" His hand brushes over the zipper at the back of my dress as we enter a dimly lit bedroom.

"Noah?"

He pushes his hands over my shoulders, grabbing the neckline of the dress. "When did you meet him?"

"A year ago," I sigh as his hands skim my skin taking the dress with them. "Maybe it was longer."

His breath catches as my white bra and panties come into full view. "Is he happy?"

I close my eyes when I feel his fingers deftly undo the clasp of my bra. "Yes, he's happy."

His hands move down, skimming my stomach before stopping at the edge of my panties. "What's she like?"

I lean back into him. My body betraying my need to stay focused in the moment. "Alexa?"

"Yes," he takes a step forward, pulling me into him. "Is she like you?"

I chuckle at the thought. "We're not the same."

He turns me around effortlessly until I'm facing him. "Is she good to him?"

"She loves him," I offer. "You should meet her. You'd like her."

He shakes his head. "I can't," he murmurs.

"Why?" I reach for his arm, a wave of dizziness overtaking me. "I need to sit."

"No." His lips graze across my forehead. "You need to sleep."

I don't protest as he helps me into a king size bed. I snuggle into the sheets, reveling in the softness of their touch against my bare skin. "I'm tired," I whimper into the pillow.

"I'll need to wake you during the night." His breath traces across my neck. "I'll be gentle."

I barely hear the words as my mind quiets and the gentle hum of sleep overtakes me.

***

"Do you remember anything from last night?" His lips are almost touching mine.

I lazily open my eyes to see his face. His head is resting gently on the pillow next to me. His hair pushed into a matted mess. How can he look this gorgeous after sleeping? "Your girlfriend was chasing us." I push my bottom lip out. "Her name is Minnie or Donald, something like that."

He pushes his tongue into his top lip to hold back a grin. "She's not my girlfriend and her name is Mickey."

"Right." I dip my chin in his direction. "She's your girlfriend."

"I've fucked her once or twice months ago."

"You can't remember how many times?" I pull the sheet around me.

"Honestly, no, I can't remember how many times or even what it was like." He shrugs. "We were just going to have some fun at the club with a few of her friends."

"She's territorial." It's a polite way of saying she's certifiably nuts.
"She's bat shit crazy." A wide grin takes over his mouth. "I deleted her number from my phone. I need to stay as far away from her as I can."

I reach up to run my hand over my forehead. "When can I take the bandage off?"

"I'll check on it shortly." He moves closer, the smooth skin of his chest resting against my breasts. "Tell me how you're feeling."

"My head hurts." I close my eyes, finding instant relief from the pain. "Will the headaches last long?"

"I'll get you something for that." He pulls back, swinging is long legs over the edge of the bed.

I watch in silence as he stands.  His nude body is on display. He doesn’t try to shield anything as he leaves the room. I close my eyes until I hear his footsteps near the doorway again.

I don’t argue as he helps me sit up. I take the two pills he hands me without question, washing them down with a long swallow from a chilled bottle of water.

"That will help." He pushes gently on my shoulders. "Rest your head."

I give in to the desire to sink back into the comfort of his bed.  "Do you walk around in the nude often?"

"That's a strange question." He tips the bottle of water in my direction before taking a hearty mouthful. "Do you?"

"Noah does," I offer.

"You've seen Noah naked?" He cocks a brow.

"No." I shake my head before I realize the movement isn't helping matters. I feel as though my brain is jumbled. The pain is constant, throbbing and clouding my clear thoughts. "Alexa used to talk about it when they first got together."

He rounds the bed, sliding his tall frame back under the covers. "He wore clothes when I knew him." The meaning behind the words isn't lost on me. He doesn’t feel that he knows Noah anymore. I feel a sense of sadness for both of them.

"When's the last time you saw him?" I don't expect an answer to the question. I don't even know why I asked it.

"I can't remember." He glides his body closer to mine. "It's been many years."

"Do you miss him?" I ask, trying desperately to keep my eyes open.

His lips brush over the tip of my nose. "Sleep, Kayla."

I nod. I can't refuse the request. My body won't let me.

"I've thought about the way you taste since I met you that night."

I keep my eyes closed. I know that I should be telling him that I can't do this. I know that since I've learned that he's Noah's brother that virtually everything I thought about him has changed, but in this one solitary instant in time, I don't want to carry any knowledge of his connection to Noah. I want to forget it. I want to just be Kayla and I want him to just be Ben.

"Open your eyes, Kayla." His lips feather soft over my cheek. "Let me see your beautiful blue eyes."

I lift my eyelids to peer directly into his intense brown eyes. "What time is it?"

"It's after noon." His hand grazes over my breast to my stomach. "You've been asleep for hours."

"My boss." I'm not panicked. He promised he'd call her after I gave him the number last night.

"Vivian." His tongue darts out to trace a path over my bottom lip. "I spoke to her. I explained what happened. You have tomorrow off too."

I'm grateful. I shouldn't be. It's essentially his fault that I smashed my head into the sidewalk. His jealous lover decided to confront us on that street when I lost my footing. "I need to go home now."

"Soon." His hand inches lower, skirting over the top of my panties. "I'll take you there soon."

I nod and close my eyes briefly, letting a slow puff of air escape my lips. "We need to talk about…"

The words are lost within his kiss. His lips are aggressive and smooth as they claim mine. His tongue pushes into my mouth, parting my lips slightly to give it better access. He's as skilled at kissing as he is at fucking.

His hand pushes my panties down slowly, inching them down my long, slim legs. "You're wet for me. You've been wet since I kissed you on the street last night."

The image of that moment floats back into my mind. He promised me one last night in his bed. I wanted it then. So much has changed since then but not my desire for him.

He shifts his body suddenly until he's hovering above me. I look up into his face. I see only small glimpses of Noah there now. I see more of Ben. They're not identical. His jaw is softer than Noah's, his nose broader. Their eyes are the same though. I see the same tortured past in Ben's gaze that I see when I study Noah.

He lowers his head to my breast, pulling my nipple between his teeth. I moan automatically from the touch. His mouth jumps to my stomach as he pulls back his tall frame.

"You're ready for me." His lips touch my smooth folds. "Your cunt is so perfect. It's so wet."

I don't resist as he pulls my legs over his shoulders, his face diving into me. I lean back, my hands gripping the sheets on the bed as his tongue hones in on my clit, circling it with just the right amount of pressure.  I close my eyes, riding the unending wave of pleasure that he's giving to me. His tongue pulls me close to the edge, before I settle back down, nearing the brink but not crossing over.

"I want to come," I whimper the words. "I need to."

"You will." He pulls back slightly, pushing a mouthful of air onto my aching clitoris. "You're so swollen, Kayla. You're so close."
My hips buck off the bed, my body in search of his mouth. "Lick it, Ben," I say his name in a heated rush. "Lick it."

"I'll make you come all over my face." He laps at me hungrily, pulling me closer to the orgasm I so desperately need.

"Like that," I call out. "God, yes, like that."

He doesn't stop when I push him away as the pleasure washes through me. He doesn't give in to my insistent pleas to stop after I crash back down. He licks, tempts and pulls another climax from within me before he finally stops, resting his head against my breasts.

"I wish I could fuck you right now." His breath whispers across my chilled skin. "I want so badly to feel your cunt around me."

I want that too. I stroke my hand through his hair. "Fuck me," I mutter into the quiet room. "I want it."
He crawls up my body, his long, hard cock rubbing along my leg as he pulls himself up. "I don't have any condoms in my apartment. I don't fuck women here."

Any disappointment I may have felt at the loss of the promise of his cock inside of me is replaced by the quiet satisfaction in knowing that women don't find comfort here. They don't wrap themselves around him while he sleeps. He keeps this part of his life separate and removed from what he does in that small, cramped hotel room.

I don't care that I landed here because I was hurt and the intuitive parts of him that were born to heal want to care for me. I don't care that he sacrificed his sanctuary to keep Noah from finding out about us. I don't care that everything about his life has overlapped and pierced mine.

My hand drops to his thigh, fishing forward searching for his cock. "I can suck you off." The words sound dirty and needy. My breath is still staggered from the high he took me to.

"I have to go to work soon." His lips push into mine stealing a moist, slow kiss. "I want to hold you for a minute."

I move slightly when he lowers himself onto the bed next to me. He scoops his strong arms around me pulling me into his chest. I breathe in the scent of his skin, a potent combination of cologne, sweat and my scent.

"I hate that you know him," he whispers into my hair. "I hate that you're part of his life."

I walk back into the bedroom after soaking my weary body in the strong spray of his shower for the past fifteen minutes. He's dressed in grey slacks and a blue dress shirt. His hair is pushed back from his forehead. He looks different. The authoritative parts of him are on full display in his expression.

"I bought you some clothes when you were asleep earlier." He waves towards a plain white bag sitting atop the bed. "I can’t send you home wearing that dress."

I smile at the thoughtful promise that is hidden beneath the gesture. I open the bag, carefully pulling each garment from within it. Dark wash jeans, a white blouse, new black panties and a pair of flats, size eight.

"How did you know my sizes?" That should have been an immediate thank you but the fact that each piece of clothing is perfectly sized strikes me. It speaks of a familiar and comfortable knowledge that we haven't shared.

He takes a heavy step closer. My instinct should be to back away. He's tall, muscular, imposing in a way that screams of the care he takes in bed and his desperate need to bring a woman the pleasure that he knows lives within her. I don’t flinch as he pulls the towel I've wrapped around me to the ground.

"I've memorized the shape of your hips." He picks up the panties and kneels swiftly, motioning for me to hold onto his shoulder as he lifts my legs, one at a time, carefully pulling the smooth, silk fabric up my legs. He follows their trail with his hands, adjusting them over the curve of my ass before his face brushes softly against my crotch.

He's on his feet now reaching for the jeans. "When I fucked you that first night, you wrapped your beautiful legs around me."

"I remember," I offer quietly.

He helps me step into the jeans, gliding them effortlessly up my legs. "I remember the pressure of your knees on my sides as you clenched yourself around me. Your body fits so perfectly with mine."

He reaches down to clasp them shut, pulling the zipper into place.

"Your tits are just the right size." The bra I was wearing under my dress is in his hands now. He pulls it over my breasts, adjusting the flesh within the fabric before he reaches behind me, hooking it closed.

I watch as he picks up the blouse and wraps it around my body. "When I was walking down the aisle towards my seat on the plane that night, I saw your face."

My eyes bolt up to meet his. "I don't remember seeing you before you sat down."

"You were looking to the side. There was a man sitting across the aisle from you." His hands rest on my shoulders briefly before he begins buttoning the blouse closed. "I saw the way you were looking at him. I saw the way he was looking at you."

I push back to that place in time. I don’t recall any face but Ben's. The moment he sat next to me, the electrical currents in my brains piled into overdrive. He had turned to look at me and I knew in that moment that he was unlike any man I'd ever been near. The raw confidence that seeped through his voice had captivated me instantly. If I hadn't gone to that hotel room with him I would have spent half the night in the bed in Alexa's guest room with my hand pressed between my legs imagining the taste and feel of his body.

"I can't remember," I offer as his fingers fly over the buttons fastening them. "I don't remember any man but you."

"Good." His voice carries relief that's not overt. "I wanted you the moment I saw you. I had to fuck you that night."

I had to fuck him too. I wanted to fuck him still. Any question of this being a random one night stand had been erased in the past twenty four hours. This man is now part of my life.

***

"I'm doing rounds and I'm already running late." His eyes scan the expensive watch on his wrist. "I've arranged for a car to take you to Noah's."

Shit. Noah. I'll see Noah soon.

"Thank you," I say because it's necessary. It fills the space where I should be telling him that I'm going to talk to Noah about him. I have to.

"Kayla." His hand brushes across my cheek. The pain that was there immediately after my fall is dull now. It's become a quiet ache in the background. My reflection in the bathroom mirror was comforting. I don't look nearly as bad as my imagination lead me to believe I would. It's obvious something happened but I can explain it to Alexa. She'll understand.

"I need to tell him that I know you." Mincing words at this point seems trite and unnecessary. We both know that I'm obligated to Noah.

His head shakes slightly. "I don't want you to tell him about me."

I don’t want to have the conversation either but I owe Noah. I can't walk back into his home and not reveal the fact that I've been sharing a bed with his twin brother. That's not who I am. I can't do that to Noah, but more than that, I can't do that to Alexa. She has been the one person in my life who has been steady and composed the last few weeks. "I have to tell him."

"I want to tell him." He pushes his hands into the pockets of his slacks. "Let me tell him, please."

There's no need to offer a plea. "You'll talk to him?"

"Yes." There's nothing more to sustain his answer. He doesn't elaborate.

"When?" I push because I need to. I'll be leaving Alexa and Noah's home tomorrow to settle into the small, one bedroom in Murray Hill. My life will no longer be connected so literally to theirs, but I'm part of their family and they are part of mine. A secret this size can't be tucked away in a corner. It builds in size every day. It increases in depth when it's willfully ignored. I don’t want what I have with Ben to end. There's a whisper of promise there that I want to nurture.

"Come back and talk to me tomorrow." He takes a step towards the door. "I really need to get to work."

My stomach tangles in a knot so big I fear I'll trip over it if I move. "You want me to go back there and not say anything?"

"I want you to trust that I'll tell him soon." It's a morsel meant to placate me.

I stare into his face. His expression is unreadable. He's asking me to entrust my friendship with Alexa into his hands. They are hands that I barely know but want desperately to believe in. "I don’t know."

"Kayla." His hands jump to my face, cupping my cheeks within them. "I need a bit of time to process this. I promise I'll talk to him soon."

I want to see the truth behind the words when I look into his eyes. I need to. I bow my head in acceptance fearing that the silent promise I just made will cost me Alexa's love and friendship if she ever finds out that I already know Noah's twin brother. All of this may ruin our connection forever.