Authors: Reginald Hill
'It makes sense. More than anything I ever speculated about the case. I had it all worked out. Every premise a false one! I sometimes wonder if I'm fit for this business.'
'Not for this particular bit of it, perhaps,' said Backhouse gently. 'But that's not surprising. I'm sure you do sterling work back home.'
'Home,' said Pascoe. 'That's a nice word. It's only a scruffy old bachelor flat, but it'll do for the time being. That's what I'd like to do now. Go home.'
'There's no place like home,' said Dalziel, like a man making a completely original discovery.
'True,' said Pascoe.
'That's where they got that fellow Atkinson, in an old folks' home in Romford. Told them he was seventy-two! He's an old con artist from way back. He felt seventy-two when I'd done with him! But we've got enough to put Cowley away for a long time now.'
'I'm glad,' said Pascoe, relaxing in his chair and looking round the room with pride.
It was remarkable what a pleasant civilized place his flat had become. The candles on the table had seemed a little too much in the light of the afternoon, but now they were perfect. A woman's touch worked wonders. Oh yes indeed.
He and Dalziel were sitting opposite each other, finishing off the sharp white wine which had accompanied their baked trout.
'It taught me one thing,' said Pascoe suddenly.
'What?'
'Information. If you're cut off from local channels, you're lost! Everyone knew about Culpepper except me. Everyone knew that it was Sam Dixon who was having a bit on the side with Marianne except me.'
'Backhouse always did play his cards too close,' said Dalziel. 'I hope your promotion doesn't get you transferred anywhere near him. You made a lousy impression!' He laughed. 'But he's not such a hot judge. He reckons nowt to me either!'
'Amazing,' commented Pascoe. 'Anyway it was Dixon who rang Crowther and told him Davenant was at the Culpeppers'. Marianne mentioned he'd come back and Sam was jealous! Not of her husband, mind you. No competition there. Old Mrs Culpepper knew what was going on, of course. She knew everything. That's why she was so angry when Dixon turned up at the house. She made him break half a box of scotch!'
'Tragic,' said Dalziel. 'But if he knew Culpepper was broke, why was he willing to supply the stuff anyway?'
'Culpepper's usual tradesmen were beginning to dig their heels in. The bills are huge, it seems. That's why he turned to the local pubs for booze. Palfrey wasn't going to play. He brought a couple of bottles to keep on the right side, so to speak, and shot a line about his low stocks. Dixon now, well, Dixon was in love. It made him willing to act quite irrationally. I told you it was him that banged me on the head at Brookside.'
'Yes,' said Dalziel. 'A bloody ghoulish place, that, for a lovers's tryst.'
'Too true. Pelman had run into Marianne in the village and mentioned he'd met me where I was going. She dived for the nearest phone to warn Dixon. Rang twice, a pre-arranged signal so he'd know who it was. Naturally, he didn't want me to answer and recognize her voice. So bang!'
'A violent lot in Thornton Lacey.'
'Yes. Not just me! Then off Dixon goes, worried sick about me. Picks up his car and drives back to find me
'accidentally'.
But good old Sergeant Palfrey's done the job for him. So his guilty secret is safe. Was safe. The proud Marianne's come out in the open now. Poor old Molly Dixon! They seemed perfectly matched.'
'Aye. Well, it happens,' said Dalziel dourly.
'What happens?' asked Ellie cheerfully, coming in from the kitchen with a vegetable tureen.
'Policemen do the decent thing and get themselves engaged,' announced Dalziel with heavy jocularity. 'What's next? It smells good.'
'Surprise,' said Ellie, grinning at Pascoe as she went out again. She had not been overenthusiastic at the prospect of playing hostess to Andrew Dalziel, but somehow it had seemed a necessary thing to do. Why, she could not imagine! In the event she was enjoying her role tremendously and deriving much pleasure from the fat man's vacillations between hearty, old-fashioned guestmanship and his more customary blunt vulgarity.
'So Dixon was a dark horse,' resumed Dalziel when he felt Ellie was safely out of earshot. 'But his part was only incidental really, wasn't it?'
'Oh yes. Though he frightened the pants off me when he followed me up the drive at Culpepper's that night on his way to his rendezvous with Marianne!'
'This fellow Pelman sounds more interesting.'
'He was,' said Pascoe. 'Backhouse told me afterwards that, alibis apart, he couldn't really suspect anyone being motivated to such a crime who could cheerfully dump loads of chicken-crap into the pool where his wife and her lover had killed themselves! Odd reasoning!'
'Not at all,' said Dalziel. 'It's being able to reason like that that makes you a superintendent! I don't understand why he was willing to loan Culpepper a thousand quid. They weren't great mates, and he knew the old man was pretty well bust.'
'Oh, it wasn't sentiment, rest assured of that!' laughed Pascoe. 'Culpepper went to see him the previous night to ask for the loan. And he took as security half a dozen pieces from his collection - all the bits, naturally, that Davenant had flogged him and which he wanted to keep out of sight for a while!'
'Cunning old Culpepper,' said Dalziel.
'Yes,' said Pascoe with sudden passion. 'I hope he's not so cunning that they don't put him away for ever!'
'Easy,' said Dalziel, glancing warily at the kitchen.
'Sorry, sir,' said Pascoe. 'It's just that it's relatively so easy to be objective and impersonal in our business. You strain after it all the time. X kills Y. Find him. Charge him. Forget him. X has many names, we spend all our lives looking for X. He's not unique. But sometimes Y has one particular name. Y is unique. Something has gone which to you personally is irreplacable. And then you begin to think it's like this every time. For someone.'
'Forget names,' urged Dalziel. 'Stick to X and Y. Life's a series of wrecks. Make sure you're always washed up with the survivors.'
'Gosh,’ said Ellie at the kitchen door. 'Does promotion get you a course in philosophy too? Sorry to interrupt the Socratic moment, but here we are!'
Triumphantly she brought to the table a large serving dish on which lay side by side two roast pheasants.
'Jesus!' said Dalziel in admiring anticipation. 'Well, that's buggered my diet!'
They all laughed. Pascoe, watching Ellie's genuine uninhibited amusement, felt the springs of his own laughter dry up. He busied himself with the carving knife and sharpening steel. It would be easy to become permanently suspicious of happiness, to taste no joy without glancing sharply over the shoulder to check who was watching. Perhaps this was the formula for survival that Dalziel would offer, though he could not think so, looking at the fat man this very moment.
But then, to look at Ellie now, proudly explaining the subtle modes by which the birds had been brought to their present fragrant succulence, who would know that a few hours previously he had found her standing in tears, looking down at the unplucked pheasants whose plumage's iridescent green and purple gleamed on the kitchen table like the silk of a woman's evening gown?
To be a look-out, to keep alert, was not a bad role. Particularly if you did not make a great show of it.
He put down the sharpening steel and approached the pheasants with the knife. Poker-faced, he jerked his head at Dalziel and said to Ellie, 'Which one is his?'
They all began laughing again. This time Pascoe laughed to the finish.