Running Home (23 page)

“Knock it off
, Walker; no one could have seen this coming,” Derek spit back at me. I glared at the man and went back to reading her past history, maybe something in here could give me a clue as to what happened.

“Mason
, did you pull over a black Cadillac yesterday morning over by the Scott’s place?” Sheriff Ramsey asked immediately when he returned.

“They were already
pulled over in the parking lot, Sheriff. I just went and checked on the guy; he seemed out of sorts and such.” My mind raced to replay yesterday’s events. Tall surfer dude, early nineties model Cadillac
. I think his name was…………….

“Carson Dillinger;
he paid for two nights at the Scott’s motel in cash. We are pulling his records right now, Sheriff,” another officer stated.

“What does this have to do with Carmen?” I question. Sheriff Ramsey walked over to my side of the table
, and laid a piece of paper down. I spun the note to face my direction, and a jolt blasted through my body. Written on the paper was Carmen’s name and my address; he must have been looking for her.

“I need everything on
his guy right now,” I commanded. If this fucker had Carmen, I refused to let him get far.

“Skyscrapper” Demi Lovato

Carmen

I screamed for what felt like hours, but out in the darkness of the woods no one was even remotely around to hear me. The temperature had dropped, and my body shivered from the cold. Being out here wasn’t an ideal situation, but hey, at least I wasn’t dead. I figured that would come later; maybe in the morning light, when he could see what he was doing. The asshole Carson took the lantern with him when he left, so I was stuck in this wooden prison with no windows. It was beyond painful to touch or move my arms, but I slammed my  body on that door for longer than I yelled; over and over I rammed my shoulder until I’m sure it began to bleed as well. At least I couldn’t see the damage I was doing to my body, but the hot stickiness that rolled down my back was more than likely blood. The shed shook, and I could hear the board’s creek, but the stupid thing was solid. That’s what I got for it being built in the early sixties. Finally, I sunk to the concrete floor.

“
Fuck,” I mumbled to myself. I couldn’t even dig my way out of this bitch.

The air had reached a frigid temperature as I sat
, huddled in a ball, wrapping my arms the best I could around me; it had to be early morning. I knew I should get up and move, to keep the blood flowing, but my body could just not bring myself up off the floor. So instead, I just sat there, thinking about all the things I was going to miss. Walker entertaining the majority of those memories was what hurt the most.

“Don’t g
o, just sleep in my bed tonight,” Walker pleaded.

“I can’t
Walker; we should have never taken it that far.”

“I asked if you wanted to stop
, and you said no; don’t regret this now Carmen. This is the best feeling in the entire world, having you wrapped up in my arms, lying in my bed. Do you know how long I wanted this? Carmen, I have wanted you since we were little. I finally get the chance to make you mine, and you regret what we just did? I’m tired of dancing around our feelings for each other. I want you and I know you want me, so fuck it. There is no one else in this entire world that makes me feel the way you do. Having my best friend in the entire world become my soul mate is a once in a lifetime chance. I’m the luckiest man ever, having you in my arms right now. Let me love you ,Carmen like you deserve; there is no one that would ever come close to how I feel for you,” Walker whispered, as he held tightly to my naked body. He grabbed my chin, and tilted it up to meet his face. Our lips tenderly came together this time; there was no rushing the matter. It was more than just a one night stand kind of deal. This was the real thing, this was love.

I snuggled deeper into his chest as he placed a kiss to the top of my head. I closed my eyes for comfort, listening to his breathing start to slow down and his grip
loosened on my body. It didn’t take long for Walker to fall asleep, and I quietly slipped out of his grasp. I carefully climbed out of bed and leaned back over to whisper in his ear. “I love you, Walker Gene Mason.” Quietly, I tiptoed back to my room, and crawled beneath the cool covers; we could talk about this another day.

I tried to wipe the tears away from my face, but my fingers were stiff from the cold and I finally just gave up, letting the memories fade away with the sobs that carried me into the
morning.

I must have fallen asleep sometime in the early morning hours, as I woke up sprawled out on the concrete floor. The light was seeping through the cracks
, and things were no longer as dark and dreary as the night before. I tried to use my hands to sit up, but my muscles were sore and stiff from the cold temperatures the night before. Wincing with pain, I managed to pull my feet underneath my body, and made it to a standing position. It took several minutes for my body to be able to stand up straight and my poor arms to stop throbbing. I wanted to look at the damage from yesterday, but knew leaving the towels wrapped around them was the best option. The dried blood had made a seal on my skin with the towel, and ripping them off would most likely result in them bleeding again. I wandered back to the small table and chair in the corner, and lowered myself into the chair. My stomach started to growl, and it was then that I realized how dry my mouth was becoming. I knew I could go a couple days without food, but not having anything to drink would surely kill me sooner rather than later.

“How did you get so skinny
, Carmen?” Walker asked after we stopped to grab a bite to eat at McDonalds. I shook my head, and stuffed a french fry in my mouth; I didn’t want to talk about my pill addiction with him just yet. He would be so angry with me if he knew how I had become a pill popping junkie. I bet he already assumed it. But Walker was always good about not judging people without knowing their story. It just so happened that what he didn’t judge me on was exactly the reason why I didn’t eat. Why spend money on food when I could get high?

“Carmen
, I know you don’t want to talk about it, but I need to know one thing. Are you still doing it?” I shook my head again.

I hadn’t had anything since detoxing in jail. It wasn’t like I didn’t want
it; my body just didn’t need it anymore. My parents were never able to break away from their addiction, and unfortunately. I am more than likely going to struggle with that now. too. The only difference is that I am going to be a survivor. No matter how bad I wanted to just say ‘fuck it,’ and get high again, I won’t. My addiction wasn’t a permanent disability, only an obstacle I had to overcome.

I was brought back from memory lane when a glint of something shiny flashed in the corner of my eye. I stumbled out of the chair and ran to the corner of the room, dropping to my knees on the hard concrete. A small metal file was laying flat against the grey flooring; my heart skipped a beat as I quickly snatched the small object. Shooting pains once again rocked my body, but I couldn’t wipe the stupid grin off my face. This could possibly be my ticket out of this hell hole.

I examined
the small piece of metal in my hands, testing its strength as I carefully bent it into the ground. Nothing seemed to give with the file as a huge smile swept across my face. Scooting myself closer to the wall, I located a nail that I believed was holding the framing together. Carefully I started to pick away at the old wood around the rusty nail. I just needed to get enough space between it to try and wedge the file behind it and pry the nail out. The pain in my arm was throbbing as I chipped away, gritting my teeth to deal with the never ending battle my body was waging on me. The blood began to trickle down my right arm again, but I didn’t care. This was going to work, and I was going to survive.

It took forever to get that first nail popped. I had to take multiple breaks
, as the pain was almost unbearable to deal with. But the thought of either Carson coming back, or dying out here alone, seemed to dull the ache a little. I started to pick on the second nail when the silence of the woods was broken. I could hear the grass being swished, and sticks cracking beneath the weight of someone walking toward the shed. Swiftly, I placed the metal piece back on the floor, scooting it close to the wall, and rushed to the other side of the shack. I didn’t want him to see what I was doing. If he found that metal file, I was royally screwed. I heard the lock on the outside door open and the shed door was yanked open, spilling the sunshine into the small room.

“Well
, I guess you didn’t die last night,” Carson sneered as he sauntered into the room. I cowered on the floor by the table. If I just stayed quiet, maybe he would leave again, and then I could go back to breaking out of here.

“Seriously Car
men, I have been trying to get hold of Johnny all fucking night. The bastard won’t answer his damn phone, and I don’t want to do something to you and have him pissed for it. I’m not about to get my ass kicked for you not having the money, and if I kill you there is no option for the cash. See my problem, Carmen?”

I silently nod
ded my head, and tried to keep my gaze fixed on the floor. I didn’t want to look at this man; I knew he wasn’t a stand up kind of guy, but I never expected this from him.

“And
it’s not like I can just head into that shitty town, with you missing and all. Well, that is if anyone is looking for your sorry ass. A new person strolling down the street would look suspicious, and I refuse to land in jail like you did.” Carson laughed; pure evil spilled from his lips. What I wouldn’t give to just nail the asshole straight in the balls. One swift punch and he would be down. It’s not like he really has much to work with. Thinking that last thought caused me to snicker out loud. I couldn’t help it, thinking about how small his dick really was.

“Why are you fucking laughing
, Carmen? Something funny to you?” He yelled, stepping closer to my hunched over frame. I tried to scoot further back, but the chair prevented me from escaping his grasp. Without warning, I was yanked again by my ponytail and brought to a standing position.

“Want me to give you something to laugh about
, you dumb bitch?” His breathing was fast, and his eyes were glazed over. I knew he had taken something before coming here, but I didn’t dare try and cross him. Carson pushed me down into the chair, as I reached out to steady myself by grasping at the table.

“Fuck,” I groan in pain. Carefully
I caress my arm back into my chest.
This fucking hurts.

“Oh
, sweet sweet Carmen, let me do something about that pain,” Carson slurred, pulling a syringe from his pants pocket.

My eyes
widen when I realize what he is holding. “Please, Carson, I don’t want anything!”

“Don’t tell me you don’t party anymore
, Carmen? This will help with the arm problem; here just a little bit.”

I started to squirm in the chair as Carson straddled my legs. Using his weig
ht, he pinned me, quickly snagging my wrists with one hand. “Please Carson, I’m clean! Don’t do this to me,” I begged, as he pulled the cap off the syringe with his mouth. An evil smile spread across his lips as he leaned in closer.

“One more time
, for old times’ sake. Maybe you will relax and be the fun old Carmen that use to love to party with me. I’ll even let you blow me later, if you prove to be a good girl.” Carson jammed the needle into the side of my neck as he pushed its contents into my body.

“No,” I screamed as heaviness instantly started to take over my body. I had
been clean for almost two years; this wasn’t part of my sobriety plan……………and then my world went black.

“Hey mom I’m home!” I yelled
, walking into the apartment after school. I closed the door and locked it, looking around to see if anyone was home.

I
really didn’t expect it anymore. Most of the time, if they were home, they were passed out anyway. I hung my thin sweater up on the rack and walked over to the box that controlled the heat in the place. I twisted the dial and waited to see if the heat would kick on. After waiting several minutes, I realized they hadn’t paid the bill. Slipping my worn sweater back on, I headed into the kitchen to find a snack.

Mom was sprawled out on the kitchen table, not moving. I walked over to her comatose body and shook her shoulders. It no longer scared me to see her in this state, as long as she somewhat moved
when I shook her body it meant she wasn’t dead. A moan escaped from her mouth as she toppled to the floor; at least she is so wasted that she won’t blame me for making her fall. I scavenged the kitchen for anything to eat, and found a pack of Ritz crackers stuffed in the very back of a cabinet. “Score!” I said excitedly. Now, I didn’t have to worry about starving till tomorrow at school.

I scampered up th
e stairs and headed for my room; it was the only place in the house that hadn’t been completely destroyed by my parents partying and their friends. It was my own private retreat, a reminder that life could be different. I opened the package and took out half of the crackers, wrapping the remaining ones back up and stuffing them under my pillow. This way I had something to eat tomorrow, too.

I sat on my bed and enjoyed the meal I scored
, and smiled as I opened a book I borrowed from the library. Reading was another great escape from this life I lived at home. Stories of mythical creatures and knights saving princesses were amongst my favorites. But I really would read anything I could get my hands on. Books were proof that life didn’t have to be this way, that fairytales really could come true if you just believed. I stuffed the last of my crackers into my mouth and lay back on my bed to start this new book, when unexpectedly, my door came open with a thud.

“When did you get home
, little girl?” My dad’s friend garbled as he stumbled into my bedroom. I quickly closed my book, stuffed it under my pillow. It wasn’t my book and I couldn’t let them take it, or destroy it for its paper pages.

“I’m not doing anythin
g wrong; please just leave me alone,” I begged the man as he inched closer to my bed. This wasn’t the first time it happened, and unfortunately it wouldn’t be the last. When everyone else in the house was passed out, I became fair game for whoever was left standing in the place.