RUSH (Montgomery Men Book 1) (17 page)

Maybe she was one of those unlucky children that suffered at the hands of some sick fuck who should have known better, but didn’t.

I didn’t know, and not knowing ate away at me every day. But I didn’t want to be that guy that didn’t trust his girlfriend enough to wait for her to be to tell him what was bothering her.

Still, no matter how hard I tried to bury my curiosity, it just kept hammering away inside my mind day after fucking day.

So after staring for hours at the same spot on the wall next to the bookshelf in my office, I caved. I made a call to a man I knew would do whatever he could to help me find the answers I craved.

“What’s up, brother?” Beckett said as he answered my call.

“I need a favor.” I leaned back in my chair, feeling like the world’s biggest asshole.

“Name it.”

I closed my eyes and pinched the bridge of my nose. “I need you to look into the past of the woman I’m dating.” It came out in a rush, as if saying it fast would make me feel like less of a prick. “Things just seem off at times.”

“What do you mean ‘off’?” he asked.

“I don’t know,” I whispered, feeling like I should have just kept this to myself, but knowing now that I brought it up, Beck would never let it go. “There’s this sadness about her, even though she tries so hard to hide it. All I want to do is find out what it is, what causes it, and make it all go away. I’ve never fucking felt like that before, Beckett. Most of the time I just didn’t give a shit about whatever the fuck the women I was with had going on in their heads, but I want to protect Kiera from whatever is bothering her or whatever has hurt her.” Silence set over us, and my mind rolled over all the stories she’d told me.

“She doesn’t give too many details about her past, ever. But sometimes it’s like she slips up and lets something resurface without knowing it. It is kind of like she gets lost in a thought, and her eyes get this sullen look. I don’t really know to describe it, but there is something there.” I leaned forward and rested my elbows on my desk as I held the phone securely to my ear. “I need to know where she came from, about her life before she arrived in New York. I know she’s hiding something, Beckett.”

“Get me her full name, her address, and anything else you know,” he told me. “I’ll find out what I can.”

“Okay,” I whispered.

I felt even worse now than I had before. But I had to know what she was hiding. And why.

I sat at the bar with a tumbler of scotch in my hand and my cell phone on the bar top, lightly tapping at the empty space next to the device that continued to ring and chirp with incoming calls and notifications. My head was so fucked up over the right and wrong thing to do. Every moment since I called my brother, I’ve felt guilty for prying. I knew I was violating her privacy, yet I also knew she wouldn’t tell me the truth, which meant I had to take matters into my own hands.

When my phone vibrated again, I looked down to find Kiera’s name on the screen. This was the third time she’d tried calling in the last hour and the third time I’d allowed her call to go to voice mail.

Knowing just what I’d asked my brother to do lay heavy on my chest, and I just wasn’t sure I could face her yet. At least not without her knowing something was wrong. I knew I couldn’t keep my guilt and nervousness hidden if we spoke now. I had originally thought of asking her to accompany me to L.A. on Monday, but now I was thinking that going alone would be better. I needed the distance from her until Beckett gave me the information I needed.

I knew she was hiding information from me to protect herself, rather than to hurt me, but I wasn’t sure why Kiera thought I wouldn’t understand. I thought I’d made it clear that I wanted her. We all had things in our pasts that we weren’t so proud of; things we wished we could change.

“I thought I was the only one of the two of us that still came to this place.” I looked up just as Sloane sat on the stool beside me. She and I used to come to Floaters often when we wanted to get away from the crowd of rich socialites. Or rather, I dragged her here when I needed to get away from them, so never in my wildest dreams did I expect her to show up on her own. I thought this would be my safe place away from anyone who knew me.

“Guess I wasn’t the only one this bar left an impression on,” she said as she placed her overpriced handbag on the bar top.

I was just about to call bullshit, thinking she had to have somehow gotten wind that I was here, when Jimmy the bartender approached.

“Hey, sweetheart, you want your regular?” He was looking directly at Sloane as if he knew her well.

“Yeah, J,” she replied. “But make this one a double.”

As he walked away I turned my head to the side, but she remained staring straight ahead. “Thought I was pulling some sort of stalkerish shit, didn’t ya?” Her lips curled up in a grin. “Don’t flatter yourself, Ashton. I may have fawned over you for months, but I am far from pathetic. You’ve made your point very clear,” she said, finally looking over to meet my stare. “You and I are over. I’m not here to win you back, I’m just here for the liquor and lack of expectations from those who are always watching, waiting for me to screw up.”

I didn’t say anything to that. I knew what she was talking about. It was something I dealt with often. In a place like Floaters, no one cared what the hell you wore or where you came from.

As an investment tycoon, I got a lot of unwanted attention, and every once in a while I just needed an escape where people weren’t watching me, trying to find a way to tear me down. This was one of those times—a time when I felt defeated by thoughts I no longer wanted to fight against. I just wanted to let them take over, even if only for a little while.

“I’ve come here at least twice a week since you and I ended things,” Sloane said as Jimmy placed her glass before her. “And not once have I seen you here. So whatever it is eating at you, it must be pretty bad.”

She had no idea, but I sure as hell wasn’t about to have a discussion with her regarding it. My feelings were torn, but sharing them with my ex wasn’t the right thing to do.

“What makes you think it’s anything bad? I just needed a little drink without anyone analyzing it,” I stated as I lifted my drink, then downed the last of it. “I sure as hell didn’t expect you to show up here and pick apart what I’m doing and why.”

“Well, the feeling is mutual, Ash, because I never expected to show up here to find you hanging at the bar.” The bitchy woman I had left behind months ago had reappeared. “In fact I assumed you’d be safely tucked in at home with your new girlfriend.”

And there it was. Not many things got past Sloane and her need to know everyone’s business. I turned my head to look at her once more but didn’t bite back. That’s what she wanted.

“Mira told me,” she said with a shrug. “Apparently the two of you weren’t too shy about sneaking off to that bathroom you and I visited a few times.”

Mira was Sloane’s ears and eyes, and she was the nosiest fucking bitch I had ever met.

“Did you tell her about the times you and I snuck off to relieve a little tension during all those stuffy events?” She smiled as if deep in thought just before she bit her lower lip. “I’d bet Little Miss Perfect didn’t drop to her knees in her cheap, blue dress and blow your mind, did she?”

All right, now she was pissing me off.

I may be questioning Kiera and what she’d told me about herself, but there was no fucking way I was about to allow Sloane to talk about her like that.

“She didn’t drop to her knees, Sloane.” She smiled as if being a fucking slut was something she should be proud of. “But that’s just because she has class, and you have none.”

Her mouth dropped open in shock before she quickly gathered her wits and did her best to recover by offering a fake smile.

I set my glass on the bar top and stood, and she glared at me with displeased eyes. She didn’t say anything in return, but if looks could kill, I would have been dead on the spot.

I turned my back to her and pulled my phone from my pocket, then shot a message to Murray that I was ready to be retrieved.

I’d avoided facing Kiera for too long. It wasn’t fair to her.

KINSLEY

“SO EVERYTHING SEEMS NORMAL, THEN?”
During the last ten minutes, I had a perpetual knot lodged deep in my stomach, and I’d had my hand fisted so long, it had begun to ache. Just being alone with my thoughts this evening had spooked me. It’d been weeks since I’d worried about Jase and the idea that somehow, some way he would find me. But tonight those fears hit me hard.

“Everything is still the same. No movement or changes in their operations,” Rig assured me. “I had my guys check everything out.” He paused for a moment, and I heard his satisfaction when he spoke again. “Jase seems to have found himself a new plaything, so I think he’s occupied for now.”

Most wives would be jealous to hear their husband had moved on and was sleeping with another woman. And maybe it was wrong of me, but I was silently rejoicing. I only hoped she wasn’t as naive as I was or allowed him to treat her badly.

Maybe things were safe. Maybe I was finally free from him and his father.

“I guess I just needed reassurance,” I explained. “Sometimes I get this weird feeling, like things are about to backfire, I don’t know where it comes from, but it hits me suddenly. I appreciate you checking on this for me.”

“Anytime, sweetheart,” Rig replied. “You know I’m here if you need me. Both of us are.”

“I know, and that means more than you’ll ever know.” I knew I could never repay everyone that had helped me escape. It was terrifying to think of where I would be without them.

After I said my good-byes to Rig, I contemplated calling Ashton once again but decided against it. He was obviously busy.

I was rarely unable to reach him, but tonight that was the case. I’d talk to Lex about an hour ago, and he’d mentioned Ashton seemed moody and frustrated all day. Knowing that didn’t settle me in the least.

I stood from the couch and walked toward the kitchen to empty the remaining tea that was still in my cup. Once I rinsed the cup, I flipped off the light and was just about to go to bed when there was a light tap on my apartment door.

That sound used to send fear racing through me, but tonight it only excited me. Because I knew just on the other side of that door was the man I’d been unable to get my mind off. And the man I’d begun to fall for. It probably wasn’t the smartest thing to do, but I couldn’t control how I felt. Ashton Montgomery had a way of bursting through those walls I had spent so long building.

But my excitement faded as I looked through the peephole to see Ashton with his head hung. Without any further hesitation I unlatched the locks and pulled open the door.

He didn’t look up right away. His arm was lifted as he braced himself against the doorframe, and his shoulders were hunched.

I touched the center of his chest with my palm, and he lifted his head to lock eyes with me. He looked so tired and stressed.

“Is everything okay?” I asked.

He shook his head, still not speaking.

I instantly feared the worst. Maybe something happened to his parents, or one his brothers. My stomach began to twist in concern.

“I don’t know what you’re hiding from me, but I can feel it here.” He touched the spot next to my hand, directly over his heart, and my own heart began to race.

I shook my head, silently denying his words.

“Yes,” he whispered. “Something has you spooked. Something makes you feel like you can’t be honest with me. I know it, Kiera. I’ve known it for a while.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” I said, doing my best to hide the nervous energy racing through me.

“I knew you’d say that,” he whispered. “I’d say let’s talk about it, but I know you won’t. I don’t get it, truly I don’t. I’ve been nothing but honest with you from the beginning. Even when you didn’t want to hear how I felt or know the things I wanted, I told you anyway.”

My heart ached more with every word he spoke.

“I thought I could come over here, climb in bed with you, and get lost in your warmth, but I can’t.” He shook his head and removed his hand from the doorframe as he stepped back. “I’d just be lying to myself, because it’s not enough.”